The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

[MacGuffin]

Trailer here.

Starring: Jordana Brewster, Taylor Handley, Andrew Bryniarski, R. Lee Ermey, Heather Kafka
 
Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness Falls)

Premise: A group of sibling soldiers cross paths with the chainsaw-wielding lead character, revealing his origins.

[RegularKarate]

Available for viewing only between 10pm and 4am.

you know, cuz it's sssssssssscccccccaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrry

[Brazoliange]

Available for viewing only between 10pm and 4am.

you know, cuz it's sssssssssscccccccaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrry

...goddammit...

[grand theft sparrow]

Available for viewing only between 10pm and 4am.

you know, cuz it's sssssssssscccccccaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrry

...goddammit...

Just set the clock on your computer to after 10pm and you can watch it whenever.  But the movie looks like shit.  It looks like a remake of the remake. 

[matt35mm]

Premise: A group of sibling soldiers cross paths with the chainsaw-wielding lead character, revealing his origins organ.

That's how I first read it; that's how it should be read.  And it's appropriate, because this movie's gonna be balls out, man.  BALLS OUT FANTASTIC.  I just know it.

[polkablues]

With the chick from The Fast and the Furious and the obnoxious little fuck who played Oliver in the second season of The O.C., how could you go wrong?







That's not a rhetorical question, by the way.  I would like an answer.

[grand theft sparrow]

Premise: A group of sibling soldiers cross paths with the chainsaw-wielding lead character, revealing his origins organ.

That's how I first read it; that's how it should be read.  And it's appropriate, because this movie's gonna be balls out, man.  BALLS OUT FANTASTIC.  I just know it.

[matt35mm]

Premise: A group of sibling soldiers cross paths with the chainsaw-wielding lead character, revealing his origins organ.

That's how I first read it; that's how it should be read.  And it's appropriate, because this movie's gonna be balls out, man.  BALLS OUT FANTASTIC.  I just know it.

Yes, that was the subtext.  Thanks for Crashing it up for everybody.

[pete]

Yes, that was the subtext.  Thanks for Crashing it up for everybody.

[grand theft sparrow]

Thanks for Crashing it up for everybody.

I will goddamn fight you.

[matt35mm]

Thanks for Crashing it up for everybody.

I will goddamn fight you.

Go ahead.  If you'll look to the left, you'll notice that I AM A FUCKING BARRISTER.  We are the real fighters in the tooth and nail world of the court system.  We are natural warmongers.

You and your Paul Haggis-created Walker persona can bring it on.

[grand theft sparrow]

Thanks for Crashing it up for everybody.

You and your Paul Haggis-created Walker persona can bring it on.

My God.



What have I become?

[MacGuffin]

The Convoluted Tale of the Texas Chainsaw Trailer     

It seems that the MPAA is all worried about the trailer for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, which debuted last week. The violence of the piece is too much for the group, who are the ones that hand out ratings to movies, and they didn't want the trailer going online at all.

So the film's distributor, New Line, came up with a plan. According to Variety, they are hosting the trailer on the Apple website, which can sense what time zone a user is in. So as long as the clip is only made available between 10 p.m. and 4 a.m., the MPAA is cool with it.

Censoring a Texas Chainsaw trailer is stupid enough, but here's the best part. If you just change the time zone setting on your computer, you can access it at any time of day.

[MacGuffin]

[w/o horse]

It wasn't good at all.  The audience was desperate.  I saw it with a group of friends, we drank a bunch of Jager before going in, and still nothing.  No laughs, no screams, only a few hopeless claps.

It might be a crummy horror season.  I don't know, The Grudge 2 next week.