just Just Withnail's short films

Started by Just Withnail, June 16, 2010, 12:57:38 PM

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Pubrick

looks good on my monitor and my android tablet.

this is even better than GREP, which i quite liked. the only gripe (GREPE?) i would have is with the title. the expression as i know it is "hand to mouth" as in someone living "hand to mouth".. there is usually no need to add anything before the word "hand".. your title would look and sound better and still make sense if it didn't start with "to", keep the repetition but start with "hand". i guess if it makes more sense in your language then fair enough. it still works as it is though.

the rest is very impressive. has it really been a year since your last film? you need to do more! especially if you have access to good actors, which evidently you do. i liked that we didn't learn much about all these side characters outside of the way he got his money from them. it doesn't seem immediately strange that so much money is being owed and borrowed everywhere, and if it does then it makes you wonder about what kind of person this character is. towards the end when the "twist" is revealed (was his real motivation supposed to be known only at the end?), i think the audience has already had the chance to figure it out by considering what kind of person would have so many friends that he either lends money to or borrows from in such short notice.. he must be a good person, or a likeable person.

we judge him and we wonder how many times this has happened.. in light of this, starting the title with "to" might be appropriate. it feels like it starts mid sentence, and the ongoing nature of this guys problem seems deeper embedded. but still, absence of "to" feels cleaner to me.. sorry i'm so obsessed with titles. i think in a short you learn that every aspect of the film is important in order to drive home certain ideas, the title is central to this, why waste time with pointless words? you have only a few minutes to tell a story, a few words to establish it.

good work, keep it up.
under the paving stones.

socketlevel

I really liked it my man. I think the photography and acting are great. I love how you don't see anyone else's face in the entire film. Did you shoot this with all practical lights or did you use anything? fills possibly? either way i think the visual aesthetic was great. Great dialog, you really captured the realism.

Have you tried a cut without the music? The kind of stark realism you achieved so well is kind of taken away whenever the music track came in. I feel it doesn't fit the mood you established so well. It might just work best with no music at all. I feel the rest of your film is so strong, and your soundtrack doesn't really live up to it. anyway that's my 2 cents.

great job :)

the one last hit that spent you...

RegularKarate

Yeah, I really liked this.
I disagree about the music, it didn't get in the way at all.

I am curious now that P said "twist".  Was there supposed to be a twist?  I didn't feel like there were supposed to be any surprises, just a little smile at the end.

matt35mm

I think P put "twist" in quotation marks because it's not really a full-on TWIST. However, I do think it is a little bit of a twist, in that the audience has, by then, maybe made an assumption about who he needs to pay back and why. That does then make the end a little bit of an "ah ha" moment.

Jeremy Blackman

I'm with everyone else... this is really good.

My favorite part was the lack of faces. Besides keeping the focus where it should be, it has the same effect a novel does, where you start to fill in the faces yourself and become sort of a collaborator.

squints

Yeah i really enjoyed that man. Great work!
"The myth by no means finds its adequate objectification in the spoken word. The structure of the scenes and the visible imagery reveal a deeper wisdom than the poet himself is able to put into words and concepts" – Friedrich Nietzsche

Just Withnail


Wow, thanks for the great feedback! Excellent responses. I'm glad no one seems to be having too dark monitors.

Quote from: Pubrickthis is even better than GREP, which i quite liked.

Awesome, thank you.


Quote from: Pubrickhas it really been a year since your last film?

Yes, sadly! This last year I've been hijacked by a full-time job at the visual department of a consultancy firm, so I've had little-to-no energy to spend on my own projects. Learnt a lot but had to say "enough is enough" and quit in May. I plan to always have a project in the making this year.


Quote from: Pubrickespecially if you have access to good actors, which evidently you do.

Oslo must have some record for good actors in proportion to population. There's a pretty remarkable amount of talent, sadly many going unemployed.


Quote from: Pubrick(was his real motivation supposed to be known only at the end?)

The reason his motivation is only hinted to in the opening scene but not made explicit is both that I wanted it to be a hook, and the practical thing of not wanting the motivation to be on everyone's mind whilst the movie is going on, since the focus is on the transactions in themselves – what he gives and receives from other people. I felt that giving the motivation that early on would come in the way of what's going on. 

But at the same time I think it's fairly easy to surmise from the opening what the deal is, it was just important not to set it in stone at that point. You're bound to judge him, but hopefully there's a sense or realization that this is being done without access to all the facts, which sort (hopefully) of knocks the heat of it.


Quote from: Pubrickwe wonder how many times this has happened.. in light of this, starting the title with "to" might be appropriate. it feels like it starts mid sentence, and the ongoing nature of this guys problem seems deeper embedded.

This was exactly what I wanted to convey with the title :)

Quote from: Jeremy BlackmanMy favorite part was the lack of faces. Besides keeping the focus where it should be, it has the same effect a novel does, where you start to fill in the faces yourself and become sort of a collaborator.

That's a great thing to hear :)


Quote from: socketlevelDid you shoot this with all practical lights or did you use anything? fills possibly? either way i think the visual aesthetic was great.

Thank you! We didn't use a single light, everything's practical. Mostly out of necessity: we shot it very scatter-shot over a few months, and couldn't afford to rent lights just for a scene that would take an hour at most to do.


Quote from: socketlevelHave you tried a cut without the music? The kind of stark realism you achieved so well is kind of taken away whenever the music track came in.

I thought more people would be saying this! The trance-track is meant to be a dip into his mindset there and then – how he perceives his mission, and to give a sense of what he listens to and maybe even where all his money goes (partying maybe?). I wanted it to jar a bit with what came before to maybe hint at a distance between his view of the world and what really going on. Originally the Bach-piece was the only music, and I've done a pass without, but in the end I liked the trance-version better because it throws things in a different direction for a few seconds.

At that point, the movie is the movie Axel would make about himself.


Pozer

watched it over coffee this morning. goes great with coffee, FYI:)

so well done, man. you are a talented dude. writings/actings/shootings/editings. top notch business :yabbse-thumbup: love your interpretations up there, too.

cant wait to see more from you.

Just Withnail

Quote from: Pozer on July 30, 2011, 11:52:59 AM
watched it over coffee this morning. goes great with coffee

This might be the best compliment I've ever received.


Just Withnail

I've password protected the film, so if someone still wants to see it just type in "axelerblakk".

Just Withnail

Hey again everyone!

Have some more stuff coming, so thought it could be nice to merge my two old threads into a homebase for all my stuff.

First, a little note about to hand to hand to mouth: I did some small revisions after I posted it here, notably changing the title font, removing the techno-score, and adding a little something at the very end. You can still find it at the link above, no longer password-protected.

I'll be shooting a new zero-budget short next week, and post it as soon as it's done, and a music-video.

I was going to do a pretty big short film project last summer, that was pushed back until this upcoming summer, and thankfully so, because the creative vaccum compelled me and my photographer/editor to jump into an ever-growing improvised feature. Check out our teaser here:

https://vimeo.com/59652877

wilder

Loved the teaser, very much looking forward to the full thing -- you have such a talent for directing actors...I can't wait until you get a full feature off the ground one day.

72teeth

yeah, ill totally watch this, looks great!
Your actors people have terrific faces
Doctor, Always Do the Right Thing.

Yowza Yowza Yowza

Just Withnail

Thanks guys!

I can't wait to show you more of it. We're about half-way now, taking a little break and letting life get in the way.