Taken

[Fernando]

Everyone hates shitty movies at first. It isn't until you get sick of everyone here praising overrated period pieces that you finally start to appreciate the underrated dreck. Then you start hating the underrated dreck thanks to GT. Then you go back to overrated period pieces. Then you post in the Criterion thread. Then you watch PT's Death Race. Then eventually you just hate anything that gets praise or makes money. Then you are taken to a break.

fixt.

if you'd ended the post that way, it would be the best post of 2009 (so far)


oh, and taken is awesome, saw it months ago, liam rocks, it's a good old fun at the movies.

[private witt]

Did it teach you anything about the world as all great art should?

[Stefen]

This was pretty fucking awesome. These Luc Besson written/produced flicks are usually really shitty, and this is no exception, but it's so much fun seeing Liam Neeson run around looking like a badass and curbstomping fools that I couldn't help but love this.

Spoilers....

Liam's plays a former Preventer. Ever heard of one of those? Yeah, neither have I. He's retired, but still hasn't forgotten his bad ass training. One hilarious scene has him doing security for a pop-star and he asks the pop-star, "My daughter wants to be a singer? Any tips?" and she's like, "Yeah, get another hobby" BURNnNN! Then, as she's coming off stage, some knife wielding Disney watching fan attempts to stab her in the tits and Liam beats the shit out of him. Breaks his arm, neck, nose, basically any bone that can be broken, he breaks, then the pop-star is all up on Liam's nuts. He's the fucking man.

Anyways, his little slut 17 year old daughter decides to backpack across Europe following U2 on their European tour (HAHA) and Liam warns her to not get kidnapped. Sure enough, her first day in Paris and her dumb ass gets kidnapped, but not before she's able to talk to her father and tell him what's happening. He's all like, in the calmest manner possible, "Now listen carefully, this is important. In a moment they are going to find you and they will take you. You have 10 to 15 seconds and I want you to put the phone down and yell anything you can to distinguish them, hair color, height, accent, anything that can help me locate them and find you." then the dudes come and take her and pick up the phone and Liam talks tough guy shit to the guy and is all like, "I will find you and I will kill you" and the dude on the other end is all, "GOOD LUCK" haha pwnt. LET THE HUNT BEGIN!

This is when Liam turns from Angry suburban dad to killing machine mercenary and starts his quest to find his slut daughter who, studies show, if not found within 96 hours, will end up chest deep in sleazy international business men penis. The stakes are high and time is short! 9 hours later Liam's in Paris and on the scene of the kidnapping. He must have some kind of mental telepathy/psychic abilities because just by entering the room, he's able to replay in his mind exactly how the kidnapping went down, all the way to the meticulous little details like which chair got kicked over and how they broke into the room. AMAZING!

Eventually he plays duck, duck, goose and finds one bad guy, which leads him to another bad guy, who leads him to another higher up bad guy, who leads him to..... you get the picture. As Liam is playing bad guy stepping stone, he's leaving a trail of dead bodies around him. Guys getting run over by trucks, shot in the face, bludgeoned to death, electrocuted, water boarded. Even his buddy, who turns out to be a bad guy, ends up getting his kind-hearted wife shot in the arm when he doesn't give up the information Liam requests. The dudes like, "I'll never give you the information you want!" and Liam turns the gun to his wife and without hesitation, pops a cap in her arm. COLD BLOODED! The best part is, immediately afterwards, he's like, "Tis just a flesh wound! But next one's going between her eyes!" and the guy coughs up the info. Fucking awesome.

Eventually he finds his daughter and during the course of the 96 hours it took to locate her she's become addicted to drugs, banged more dudes than your mom and took 2nd in a prostitute beauty pageant. ALL IN 96 HOURS! 

It was what it was and what it was was a kick-ass action flick with an unassuming action star. I love these types of flicks. Where an actor you never took as a badass comes off as a complete badass. Made me want to watch Collateral. Any other flicks with nerdy actors being awesomely badass? Suggestions please.

[private witt]

Anyways, his little slut 17 year old daughter decides to backpack across Europe following U2 on their European tour (HAHA)

Hollywood sure knows what bands 17 year olds are into these days.

[Gold Trumpet]

Anyways, his little slut 17 year old daughter decides to backpack across Europe following U2 on their European tour (HAHA)

Hollywood sure knows what bands 17 year olds are into these days.

I don't know, I'm in college and meet a lot of freshmen who like the band a lot. Unlike other aging bands, U2 always has an aggressive campaign with their new albums to attract new and younger fans. 

[pete]

what do you mean stefan that an actor never came off as badass?  what about rob roy?

[MacGuffin]

While it never got me to the level of Breakdown where I ended up screaming back to the screen, I did get caught up in this and think Neeson was perfect for the focused father. The action was raw and didn't pull punches. But what could have kicked up the level of intensity, though, was that all the baddies are nameless, faceless casualities on his pursuit of his daughter. If there had been a main overload or the man on the phone turned out to be the endgame for Neeson's character, maximum revenge justice would have been reached. But as it is, it works as an action version of Hardcore.

[pete]

I can't trust you anymore.

[diggler]

If there had been a main overload or the man on the phone turned out to be the endgame for Neeson's character, maximum revenge justice would have been reached. But as it is, it works as an action version of Hardcore.

it did seem anticlimactic at first, but the more i think about it the more i like it. it makes perfect sense that whoever was involved in the kidnapping (and actually had the audacity to pick up a cell phone and speak on it) would be just a grunt.

the setup scenes were pretty bad (the concert, bbq, birthday party), but once it gets going it's a lot of fun. Liam Neeson is the king of elevating mediocre material, this could've easily been a steven seagal movie.

[I Love a Magician]

While it never got me to the level of Breakdown where I ended up screaming back to the screen

breakdown is fucking king

[SiliasRuby]

I'm wondering why that film (breakdown) doesn't get its due...maybe a special edition Blu-ray in the future.

This was a lot of fun and pretty intense with a big screen HDTV and surround sound. Really really enjoyed myself.

[diggler]

I'm wondering why that film (breakdown) doesn't get its due

i remember seeing that at the drive in paired up with Con Air.  we had all gone wanting to see Con Air (which seemed like the kind of movie my 13 year old self would salivate for) and didn't care much about breakdown. needless to say breakdown blew us all away and i still revisit it pretty often today. (plus mr. friendly's in it!)

[Pas]

wow I have a Breakdown story too : the first time my parents let me babysit my little sister who was 3 (I was 12) I rented Breakdown. I was pretty nervous about being home alone etc and can easily recall most of the movie even if I've never seen it since.

[abuck1220]

this was just stupid. why didn't they have a real teenager play the daughter instead of 25 year old shannon from lost? she looked like a grown up in a raggedy ann costume. and why did she run like that? it's like they thought if they made a 25 year old run/act/dress like a 12 year old, it would somehow even out to her appearing like a 17 year old.

when she first got kidnapped i thought, hmm, i'm interested to see how this guy tracks these people down. oh what's that, one phone call to his fbi buddy and we know the kidnapper's name, birthplace and location. ok, well, this got a little easier, i suppose, but this should still be kinda tough. oh nevermind, liam neeson is going to catch seven one-in-a-million breaks (this hooker is owned by the same guy that took shannon, this girl has shannon's jacket, etc). and he finds her like 4 hours after she was taken. fucking lame.

also, holy shit, was the mom the worst mom ever or what?

[diggler]

also, holy shit, was the mom the worst mom ever or what?

this movie is the ultimate fucked over divorced father's "i told you so" fantasy