Xixax Film Forum

Film Discussion => News and Theory => Topic started by: atticus jones on November 14, 2004, 04:11:06 AM

Title: just another weak end
Post by: atticus jones on November 14, 2004, 04:11:06 AM
hello cine buns

Another installment of...WEAK END GROSS...otherwise known as "Shitty movies and the people who watched them"

1.THE INCREDIBLES 70.5 mil Box office?  That's Incredible. Cue Fran, Kathy and John in button fly collar. Tagline: "A family of undercover superheroes (animated for her pleasure), living a sheltered suburan life, try to save the world?" If this movie were food it would be called "The Inedibles"... Moore is gonna make the sequel in order to help the 51% of America who did not have all the facts going into the theatre for this one.

2. RAY Distant second at 13 mil sumthin sumthin...What? Why dint anyone see this? Was yo eyes glued shut? HuckaHucka...When I heard Jamie Foxxxxx glued his eye shuts I decided to glue my wallets shut...Hucka Hucka...Yeah yeah...{Breaks into song} I wish I were an Oscar my year winner...whatever...best mimicry in a lead role goes to...

3. THE GRUDGE 12 mil...yep...gellar is an aweful actress and that aint gonna change...william mapother was dumps at the acting school he attended but cruised into high gear be cous of tom...im not holding a grudge though...im also not holding a ticket to see grudge...

4. SAW 11 mil...Seen Saw?...No...Im just on the fence about this one...Tagline is "Every piece has a puzzle" but do want to spend $9 and two hours putting it together?...that was a rhetorical question...

sidenote: QUICK...tell me the top three movies of all time whose titles are only three letters long?

5.  ALFIE 6mil...please for the love of God...leave the old movies alone...what did they ever do to you I ask? What's it all about?...That' the tagline by the way...and a damn good philosophical question at that...

6. SHALL WE DANCE? 5 mil...only if gere is at cheetahs and J Lo is prepared to lap dance for the 106 min run time of this disaster...remember production was moved to winnipeg because of the sars scare...apparently a worse disease followed this one from japan...anuthabadforiegnfilmremakitis

7. SHARKTALE 4 mil...now if they can only gross a few mil more they will be able to pay will smiths assistant to his personal assistant...

8. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS 3 mil...Three words that are better than Friday, Night, Lights...Billy Bob, Thornton...Im gonna make that guy famous...there is no way he should be stuck coaching high school football in Texas

9. LADDER 49 2 mil...the sexual tension between travolta and phoenix was so thick you could cut it with a knife...whose got a hose...those boys need to be cooled off...when they say the bond forged by fire is never broken...i believe them

and finally

10. TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE 1 mil...Sad...1 mil? Let me figure this out...Homosexuals didnt go see it because they took objection to the word "team" which is a sports reference and democrats didnt go see it because they resented the word "america" in the title which is such a screwed up place because of bush and blah blah blah ...and americans didnt go see it because of the word "world" in the title because like who gives a fuck about the rest of the world anyway... and blacks didnt go see it because of the word "police" in the title because...well...I mean c'mon...so that leaves a million families with second graders who thought this was the seasonal muppet movie installment or whatever...

whatever...and what ever
Title: redirect
Post by: atticus jones on November 14, 2004, 12:55:14 PM
will somebody please redirect this moron...

what a loser
Title: just another weak end
Post by: Pozer on November 14, 2004, 01:13:39 PM
heh heh.
No I take that back, you only get one chuckle.
Title: just another weak end
Post by: pete on November 14, 2004, 01:34:23 PM
is this like the xixax version of the onion's hollywood outsider?
Title: Re: just another weak end
Post by: Thrindle on November 14, 2004, 02:43:29 PM
Quote from: atticus jones9. LADDER 49 2 mil...the sexual tension between travolta and phoenix was so thick you could cut it with a knife...whose got a hose...those boys need to be cooled off...when they say the bond forged by fire is never broken...i believe them
Yes, it was time that got recognized.
Title: Re: just another weak end
Post by: MacGuffin on November 14, 2004, 03:10:00 PM
Quote from: atticus jonessidenote: QUICK...tell me the top three movies of all time whose titles are only three letters long?

Big
JFK
CB4
Title: just another weak end
Post by: sickfins on November 14, 2004, 04:08:08 PM
senjorn sucitta, lazy elder, crazy shelter

let's hear the dog's thoughts on sweet coming in at seventeen, huckabeans

ps do not take calls from jacki lynn i think i have upset her
Title: just another weak end
Post by: Gamblour. on November 14, 2004, 04:54:51 PM
Red
8 1/2
PDL

Ok, so I cheated a little
Title: just another weak end
Post by: bluejaytwist on November 14, 2004, 06:04:20 PM
jay eh

emm dee and bros set to make the cameo
in the emm gee 12 up in vancouver...
we dont have a subway train to ride in but perhaps something else...

will it be a nightmare
(the first big plunge in the chair)
a shot a day clams the nerves perhaps
cyd knee tips?


-bluejaytwist
peateaeh?.com
gfx monkey (on hiatus apparently?)
Title: just another weak end
Post by: Pozer on November 15, 2004, 08:15:54 PM
K
this is an A and B
better C my way
pees owt
Title: just another weak end
Post by: sickfins on November 15, 2004, 11:05:13 PM
this guy brings out all the weirdos
Title: Re: just another weak end
Post by: SHAFTR on January 24, 2005, 05:29:05 AM
Quote from: atticus jones

sidenote: QUICK...tell me the top three movies of all time whose titles are only three letters long?


With regards to Box Office:
Elf (173 mil), XXX (142 mil), Big (114 mil)

Not very quick.