...
i just vomited in my mouth a little.
Now i know what a 17 year old trying to be like jarmusch looks like... not far off
but honestly, youre approach to simplicity is too complicated
This makes me want to fuckin' puke. This is CINEMA. Do something CINEMATIC. Show ACTION, you know, people actually DOING THINGS. I spent too many years in film school watching people do movies about two people talking about shit that means nothing to 99% of the world. And for God's sake, aping Jarmusch on top of this... just give up and get a real job.
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hmmm, i'll try not to be as harsh here...i didn't like it, in fact i didn't even finish it. what is it? is it supposed to be funny? why would you write something just to rip someone off? there's a wealth of other things to write and make movies about than other movies. and the pta obsession is very apparent in this one too, especially the opening line "something...something..." - i don't know. i didn't like it. didn't get it. it sounds like you just wrote a bunch of lines that vaguely had something to do with each other, added a little snap, and hoped people would pass it off as good because they didn't get it but it sounded like something. i don't know. it does seem as if you have some writing capabilities, but you went about it very wrongheadedly with this. i don't know, clear your mind...get some air and then write something...hope it didnt sound too harsh, but that was honestly what i thought...
Quote from: flagpolespecial
GRADY: this place is pretty plain and boring.
TRIP: it's not the liveliest place on earth
GRADY: i mean we're the only people here. look at this place. there's nothing on the walls, there's no character to this place.
this basically sums it up. not to be harsh.
flag pole, is it TOO self centered for anyone else to like? well, i guess that doesnt really matter, but in my opinion i think its an exercise and really isnt worth making. its just something you have finally done and so you want to do it, but it sucks ,really, i love parts of it, some parts, but as a whole, its pretty bad. dont think this is a bash, i know you got talent, i just think pursuing this would be a waste of time, plus no matter how good you might think your script is, you couldnt pull this dialogue off, and if you havent edited before, or dont know any of the many things you should, umm buckle your seat belt... flagpole, you got the balls, but you need to stop beating around the bush and just spooge something out for us.
ok i'm done
hmm....two guys conversing in a restaurant or a clique of kids wearing leather jackets who rollerblade everywhere.......decisions decisions
Quote from: flagpolespecial
thanks for the feedback reel. one question. what does spooge mean. i've read that sentence a couple of times and i don't understand what the hell that word means. was is it slang for?
Male ejaculate?
Quote(in the last few days i've been thinking about a film about a boy and his ex-girlfriend and how they deal with their relationship after having been formally more intimate)
That reminds me, a bit, of
All the Real Girls. I'm sure there are plenty of other examples of films that have covered the same territory.
And by "formally", did you mean "formerly?
Quote from: flagpolespecialin any case what are you saying? that i shouldn't write a script about it because it's been done before?
Of course not. Everything's been done before anyway, right?
I'm just suggesting that you should be careful if you're going to do it, since there are other films that deal with something similar.
The execution is the most important element to anything (IMO), so you'd need to find an interesting and fresh way of telling the story.
But I really can't imagine it being terribly exciting, especially since everyone's seen
Friends. That is to say, where else does it have to go?