Xixax Film Forum
Creative Corner => Filmmakers' Workshop => Topic started by: picolas on June 09, 2004, 02:16:38 AM
format gets messed up when i copy and paste. the end.
FADE IN.
INT. OUTSIDE A TOILET
DERN pushes the CAMERA into a BATHROOM with his chest. No pushing.
DERN
NO, YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE!
YOU'RE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE!
YOU'RE THE FUCKING ASS—FUCK!
FUCK. YOU. ASSFUCKING.. SHITHOLE!
DERN takes a second to breathe. HE was speaking to a MIRROR.
HE begins writing what he just said onto some PAPER as SOMEONE ELSE enters.
CUT TO:
INT. A NONDESCRIPT OFFICE SPACE
DERN enters the OFFICE. He walks with tree-trunk steps, heading straight for MR. GRETLER as he throws the PAPER into a TRASH CAN without looking.
DERN
Mr. Gretler.. you're-
GRETLER (cutting him off)
Yes?
DERN
Ye- you're the asshole.
GRETLER
What?
DERN
You.. are.. you're the assho...
Beat.
DERN realizes his mistake.
GRETLER
Are you—
DERN (cutting him off)
You're THE asshole! Ah..Haha!
THE.. asshole!
GRETLER
Are-
DERN (cutting him off)
THE ASSHOLE! EVERYBODY LOOK! HAHAHA!
PEOPLE are gathering around them now.
DERN (cont')
IT'S THE ASSHOLE HIMSELF! GRETLER!
WHAT A.. WHAT A GREAT GUY! HUH? EVERYBODY?!
SUPER!
DERN claps.
NOBODY claps.
GRETLER
I think y-
DERN
TH-THIS MAN IS.. HELPING us! Do things we
would never do! The company! Before he was here
we weren't off so well and now that he.. is we're
doing just as well if not better.. as others! Don't
try to stop this guy! Oooh! Haha. Well.
Most of the PEOPLE have left by now.
GRETLER
Clear out your desk.
DERN
DAMMIT! Not even-
GRETLER
No. Clear out your desk.
DERN
DAMMIT.
GRETLER
Towards the end I was thinking
about not, but then you didn't
really follow through.
DERN
..Yeah.. I know.
GRETLER
It's okay.
DERN
...Yeah.
BUSTERSON (off screen)
GRETLER!
GRETLER
Yes, Mr. Busterson?
BUSTERSON enters the picture.
BUSTERSON
Were you about to fire this man?!
GRETLER
..I just did, sir.
BUSTERSON
ASSHOLE! YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!
GRETLER
But sir, he w-
BUSTERSON
BUT GET OUT, GRETLER!
GRETLER runs off, crying.
DERN
Wow! So does this mean I-
BUSTERSON
No. You're still fired. I just
really wanted to fire you first is all.
You're the worst volley ball net designer
I've ever seen.
DERN
Uhh.. This company makes novelty light
switches that fart when you flick them
off, though. Actually the volleyball
part is downstairs.
BUSTERSON
Really?
DERN
I think so. It would explain all
these novelty light switches that fart
when you switch them off
lying around here.
BUSTERSON
Damn. Well shit. Sorry.
DERN
So I'm not fired?
BUSTERSON
I.. I guess not.. I guess I just..
worked my way up the chain of
command to get here.. 40 years working..
doing something I thought I loved...
but that love.. turned into a lie.
Beat.
BUSTERSON (cont')
I-I'm sorry, I'll get out of here..
I need time..
DERN
Don't leave, sir!
BUSTERSON
Why shouldn't I?! I thought I could
help my niece play volleyball just a
little bit better! Now I'm.. 45 years old!
Nothing!
DERN
Oh. Now I get it. What a shame!
BUSTERSON
Yep. Yep. So I resign. You
can take over if you want.
I don't care.
DERN
Cool!
either I didn't get a damn bit about it, or that that was the worst thing I've ever read (and I've read my own stuff, damn it!)
that was my favorite lynch thing.
Quote from: OmegaSlackereither I didn't get a damn bit about it, or that that was the worst thing I've ever read (and I've read my own stuff, damn it!)
what was one specific thing you didn't get?
I think Busterson should have been Gretler... Dern is okay, but the lightswitches need to go.