Hi!
I just wrote a short script with a huge dialogue in it. I just sat down and wrote it. I hadn't any idea before what I'm doing - I just wrote.
Please, tell me your opinions on it.
And note that I'm 14 years old and not a professional screenwriter.
(My English might be not very perfect - I'm German)
So, here's the result. It's a little story about intolerance.
"FROG MEAL"
by
Christoph Robert Walczyk
FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
PETE, late 20s and PENELOPE, mid 20s, are sitting on a couch.
PETE is opening up a kind of lunch box. Inside there's lying a roasted frog. PENELOPE recognizes the lunch box.
PETE seems to be very deliberated and quiet.
PENELOPE
What's that?
PETE
A roasted frog.
PENELOPE
Is he dead?
PETE
What do you think? Of course he's dead.
PENELOPE
What do you need a roasted, dead frog for?
PETE
I... want to eat it.
PENELOPE
Whoa, you're fucking disgusting.
PETE
What?
PENELOPE
Why the hell are you eating a frog?
PETE
Why do you say that I'm disgusting?
PENELOPE
I asked you something else.
PETE
I know.
PENELOPE
What?
PETE
You're saying I'm fucking disgusting, but in France they're eating frogs nearly all the time.
PENELOPE
But we aren't in France.
PETE
What's your problem?
PENELOPE
You're asking what my fucking problem is? What the hell is your problem, man?
PETE
You wouldn't say that the French are fucking disgusting, would you?
PENELOPE
Why should I?
PETE
Because they're eating frogs, man, that's why you should!
PENELOPE
What the hell?
PETE
You're saying that I'm fucking disgusting, because I want to eat a frog. But you ain't saying anything about the French. And they're eating frogs, too!
PENELOPE
Yeah,... but in France I think it's a kind of tradition. And you? Tell me please of some human being in America who's eating dead, roasted frogs!
PETE
I don't know. But there are surely people, kind of, well, I don't know, but of course there are people here in America who like to eat frogs.
PENELOPE
You're fucking mad. I hope you know that.
PETE
Why am I mad? Because I'm eating frogs?
PENELOPE
Yeah, that's why. You're not normal.
PETE
Just because I'm a little bit different than the others?
PENELOPE
A little bit? Man, you're eating frogs! I know you now for one year. And I never saw you eating frogs!
PETE
That's a little secret preference of mine.
PENELOPE
You know what? You're fucking sick. You're as sick as fucking hell. I go. And when you're getting normal, I will come back.
PENELOPE walks out.
PETE (to himself)
Normal. Normal. What a stupid word.
He takes the frog, bites a piece off and starts to chew it.
FADE OUT:
Rock on, man, rock on! I don't know how strong of an intolerance allegory it is, but its just weird and funny and good the way it is.
My favorite line: "Man, you're eating frogs! I know you now for one year. And I never saw you eating frogs! "
There were certain English-as-a-second-language inconsistencies, but I think they add to it. If it was performed by actors with foreign (from my American ears) accents, it would sound perfect.
Quote from: GhostboyThere were certain English-as-a-second-language inconsistencies, but I think they add to it. If it was performed by actors with foreign (from my American ears) accents, it would sound perfect.
exactly.
i think it was funny.... i didnt expect something as weird, but its weird in an "innocent" way, not "psychotic" way.
It should end with him taking a bite of the frog!
Great stuff! Funny dialogue.
maybe you should change the title though, might give it away.
haha no no no, in the end, a suggestion, he should take out a dead roasted cat from another bag and start chewing on it.
nice little dialogue, spoken by foreigners it would work.
that was funny man, i have one critical comment though, but i dont wanna be that one guy whos being mean, anyway though i thought it was a little too much like one of tarantinos conversations about random shit, i still liked it though
it was really quite funny... i liked it.
Man, that with taking out a roasted cat and chewing on it or eating the frog in the end are great ideas. I wish I woul've done this when I've written it.