Xixax Film Forum

Film Discussion => News and Theory => Topic started by: Marty McSuperfly on April 18, 2003, 06:03:53 AM

Title: Anyone know any good movie jokes?
Post by: Marty McSuperfly on April 18, 2003, 06:03:53 AM
I don't mean jokes IN movies, but jokes about movies and the film business.

For example (don't read on if you don't laugh at REALLY crap jokes):

Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project - an action docudrama
about famous composers starring top movie stars.

Sylvester Stallone, Steven Seagal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to
play him."

"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano," said Willis. "I'll play him."

"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Seagal. "I'd
like to play him."

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid."

Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be,
Arnold?"

So Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."

BTW I'm looking for better jokes than that....
Title: Anyone know any good movie jokes?
Post by: bonanzataz on April 21, 2003, 08:34:59 PM
hear about the new pirate movie? it's rated ARRGGH!!!
Title: Anyone know any good movie jokes?
Post by: cowboykurtis on April 21, 2003, 08:37:25 PM
why did the movie cross the road?

punchline will be given at a later date...
Title: Anyone know any good movie jokes?
Post by: MrBurgerKing on April 21, 2003, 10:38:44 PM
Quote from: bonanzatazhear about the new pirate movie? it's rated ARRGGH!!!

Is that the pirate movie starring Johnny Depp? Actually, it's PG-13. They wouldn't put over $100 million dollars into an R rated picture (don't mention The Matrix).

Speaking of Johnny Depp, what a fantastic actor. You know you're special when Marlon Brando wants to star in your directorial debut.

Did you hear the one about Marlon Brando? He auditioned for a role in Ang Lee's Eat Man Drink Woman, but left when he found out the title was a metaphor.
Title: Anyone know any good movie jokes?
Post by: Pubrick on April 22, 2003, 12:18:16 PM
why is punchdrunklove?

to get to the other side.
Title: Um...
Post by: CollinBullock on April 22, 2003, 08:01:33 PM
Cowboykurtis has such a delightful fucking image...
Title: Re: Um...
Post by: Ernie on April 22, 2003, 08:05:59 PM
Quote from: CollinBullockCowboykurtis has such a delightful fucking image...

Is that the fucking goat image everbody was talking about!!!??? I promised myself I would never ever ever see that.
Title: The giver...
Post by: CollinBullock on April 22, 2003, 08:16:16 PM
http://www.goatse.cx/giver.html

Try to sleep after seeing this...
Title: Re: The giver...
Post by: phil marlowe on April 23, 2003, 06:51:01 AM
Quote from: CollinBullockhttp://www.goatse.cx/giver.html
nah, his big aint that big really. hes just a tiny tiny man.
Title: Re: The giver...
Post by: -dazza- on April 23, 2003, 08:29:20 AM
Quote from: CollinBullockhttp://www.goatse.cx/giver.html

Try to sleep after seeing this...

He'll have someone's eye out....