Those imaginary movies... (and casting Archie)

Started by SoNowThen, April 02, 2004, 11:40:41 AM

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SoNowThen

April 02, 2004, 11:40:41 AM
Do you ever make up fake movies in your head, mostly for funsies or to unwind, that you know you'll never do? Like in film school, a buddy and me (when we got stuck and frustrated with a real script problem) had this running joke about this fake movie we were gonna "write and direct in the future" called Fecalphiliac where the premise is these two outsider kids, Andy and Melvin, in an all-boys boarding school, who make friends based on their mutual love to play with shit. They're always having shit fights and what not. And one of the big scenes in the movie is when Andy grows up and goes on his first date with a girl, he gets really nervous and goes to the bathroom. When he comes back to the table, the girl says "you've got something on your face", and he brushes the side of his face to camera, and a small crumb comes off or something. And she says "no, the other side", so he turns to reveal his full face to the camera, which is of course smeared with crap. The idea is that it's one of those bad made-for-tv movies where it would usually be about their unspoken sexual bond, but everytime someone thinks they're gonna catch Melvin and Andy in a gay act, it turns out the two guys are just playing with shit. Basically the premise is open enough to come up with scenes forever.

And just so you don't think I'm a total sicko, we'd also do this with our epic Archie: The Live Action Movie. Basically, it's just "who would you cast if you got to do the Archie movie?". I can't remember his name right now, but I always liked the guy who played Rusty in Vegas Vacation for the lead. Of course, casting Betty, Veronica, Cheryl Blossom, and Melody is always the most fun part...

So what kinda weird fake movies do you all make up (if any)? And who would you cast in the Archie live action film (recent actors only)?
Those who say that the totalitarian state of the Soviet Union was not "real" Marxism also cannot admit that one simple feature of Marxism makes totalitarianism necessary:  the rejection of civil society. Since civil society is the sphere of private activity, its abolition and replacement by political society means that nothing private remains. That is already the essence of totalitarianism; and the moralistic practice of the trendy Left, which regards everything as political and sometimes reveals its hostility to free speech, does nothing to contradict this implication.

When those who hated capital and consumption (and Jews) in the 20th century murdered some hundred million people, and the poster children for the struggle against international capitalism and America are now fanatical Islamic terrorists, this puts recent enthusiasts in an awkward position. Most of them are too dense and shameless to appreciate it, and far too many are taken in by the moralistic and paternalistic rhetoric of the Left.

Just Withnail

#1
May 10, 2004, 02:05:33 PM
Quote from: SoNowThenFecalphiliac

:lol:

My mental image of you is completely shattered by the way :P

Joking aside, and to answer your question; no. That is, not exactly the way you described. Often when I'm with a friend, we'll see something we both get off on (laughing that is), and we'll start spinning the movie around that:

Him: Hey, check out...

Me: Yeah.

Him: This is when he (insert movie cliche here)

Me: Yeah, and afterwards comes the part where (insert movie cliche here).

Funny thing is, we do it alot, but I was never really conscious of it until I started thinking a couple of minutes ago.

SoNowThen

#2
May 10, 2004, 02:24:13 PM
Yes!! Somebody replied to this thread!

Quote from: WithnailOften when I'm with a friend, we'll see something we both get off on (laughing that is), and we'll start spinning the movie around that:

Him: Hey, check out...

Me: Yeah.

Him: This is when he (insert movie cliche here)

Me: Yeah, and afterwards comes the part where (insert movie cliche here).

I thought my mom was playing that game with me once, then I realized she was just describing the plot of A Walk To Remember....


Anyway, Withnail, who would you cast in the Archie movie?
Those who say that the totalitarian state of the Soviet Union was not "real" Marxism also cannot admit that one simple feature of Marxism makes totalitarianism necessary:  the rejection of civil society. Since civil society is the sphere of private activity, its abolition and replacement by political society means that nothing private remains. That is already the essence of totalitarianism; and the moralistic practice of the trendy Left, which regards everything as political and sometimes reveals its hostility to free speech, does nothing to contradict this implication.

When those who hated capital and consumption (and Jews) in the 20th century murdered some hundred million people, and the poster children for the struggle against international capitalism and America are now fanatical Islamic terrorists, this puts recent enthusiasts in an awkward position. Most of them are too dense and shameless to appreciate it, and far too many are taken in by the moralistic and paternalistic rhetoric of the Left.

cine

#3
May 10, 2004, 02:39:24 PM
Quote from: SoNowThenAnyway, Withnail, who would you cast in the Archie movie?
This is a no-brainer:

SoNowThen

#4
May 10, 2004, 02:47:53 PM
Hey now, red hair alone does not an Archie make.
Those who say that the totalitarian state of the Soviet Union was not "real" Marxism also cannot admit that one simple feature of Marxism makes totalitarianism necessary:  the rejection of civil society. Since civil society is the sphere of private activity, its abolition and replacement by political society means that nothing private remains. That is already the essence of totalitarianism; and the moralistic practice of the trendy Left, which regards everything as political and sometimes reveals its hostility to free speech, does nothing to contradict this implication.

When those who hated capital and consumption (and Jews) in the 20th century murdered some hundred million people, and the poster children for the struggle against international capitalism and America are now fanatical Islamic terrorists, this puts recent enthusiasts in an awkward position. Most of them are too dense and shameless to appreciate it, and far too many are taken in by the moralistic and paternalistic rhetoric of the Left.

picolas

#5
May 10, 2004, 07:18:58 PM
Quote from: SoNowThenred hair alone does not an Archie make.
old wives' tale.

Just Withnail

#6
May 11, 2004, 09:26:41 AM
Quote from: SoNowThenAnyway, Withnail, who would you cast in the Archie movie?

I think perhaps a really young Woody Allen would do the trick.

grand theft sparrow

#7
May 11, 2004, 12:46:30 PM
SNT, you do realize that you could probably sell Fecalphiliac in a second just by showing the right people exactly what you posted.

SoNowThen

#8
May 11, 2004, 12:54:43 PM
8)

Well, we don't have an ending yet...
Those who say that the totalitarian state of the Soviet Union was not "real" Marxism also cannot admit that one simple feature of Marxism makes totalitarianism necessary:  the rejection of civil society. Since civil society is the sphere of private activity, its abolition and replacement by political society means that nothing private remains. That is already the essence of totalitarianism; and the moralistic practice of the trendy Left, which regards everything as political and sometimes reveals its hostility to free speech, does nothing to contradict this implication.

When those who hated capital and consumption (and Jews) in the 20th century murdered some hundred million people, and the poster children for the struggle against international capitalism and America are now fanatical Islamic terrorists, this puts recent enthusiasts in an awkward position. Most of them are too dense and shameless to appreciate it, and far too many are taken in by the moralistic and paternalistic rhetoric of the Left.

grand theft sparrow

#9
May 11, 2004, 12:56:05 PM
Quote from: SoNowThen8)

Well, we don't have an ending yet...

Since when has that ever mattered?

SoNowThen

#10
May 11, 2004, 01:01:51 PM
True.


I'm thinking it has to be on a podium. And Andy should be speaking, trying to patch things up with Melvin after something goes wrong near the end of the second act. Andy will finally admit to the world his love of feces, and how he's not denying it anymore, and so on. Then, kinda like Revenge Of The Nerds, he could ask everybody who likes playing with shit to put up their hands. Then of course, slowly, everyone would put up their hands. Andy and Melvin would hug, and the crowd would do the slow-clap. Then Andy's ex-girlfriend would come running in, holding a smelly, greasy log, telling Andy she's always loved him, and can now accept him for who he is.

Hug. Cue music.

Starwipe.

Cut to black.


...work with me here, people...
Those who say that the totalitarian state of the Soviet Union was not "real" Marxism also cannot admit that one simple feature of Marxism makes totalitarianism necessary:  the rejection of civil society. Since civil society is the sphere of private activity, its abolition and replacement by political society means that nothing private remains. That is already the essence of totalitarianism; and the moralistic practice of the trendy Left, which regards everything as political and sometimes reveals its hostility to free speech, does nothing to contradict this implication.

When those who hated capital and consumption (and Jews) in the 20th century murdered some hundred million people, and the poster children for the struggle against international capitalism and America are now fanatical Islamic terrorists, this puts recent enthusiasts in an awkward position. Most of them are too dense and shameless to appreciate it, and far too many are taken in by the moralistic and paternalistic rhetoric of the Left.

SHAFTR

#11
May 11, 2004, 01:11:20 PM
In Kuleshov's Workshop they would make imaginary films, but that was because they didn't have any filmstock.
"Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that i'll probably regret soon"
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