There are in fact real porn movies out there with these titles! They're all hilarious and actually quite creative. I'm just surprised that someone actually took the time to think of these.
6 Lays, 7 Nights
As Good As Head Gets
Ass Ventura: The Crack Detective
The Beaverly Hillbillies
Bonfire of the Panties
Buffy, the Vampire Layer
Cape Rear
Cliffbanger
A Clockwork Orgy
Done in 60 Seconds
Driving Miss Daisy Crazy
Dumb and Done Her
Edward Penishands
E-Three: The Extra-Testicle
Face Jam
The Flintbones
For Your Thighs Only
Forrest Hump
Free My Willy
Glad He Ate Her
Good Will Humping
Hannah Does Her Sisters
Inspect Her Gadget
Jurassic Pork
A League Of Their Moan
On Golden Blonde
Pocahontass
Porn on the 4th of July
Position: Impossible
Romancing the Bone
Saving Ryan's Privates
Schindler's Fist
Snatch Adams
There's Something On Mary
There Were 12 Men But They Weren't Angry
The Three Musket Queers
Was That As Good As It Gets?
White Men Can't Hump
Who's Eating Gilbert Grape?
You Have Male
Source: "10 Sure Signs A Movie Character Is Doomed" by Richard Roeper
Quote from: filmcriticSchindler's Fist
God, that one made me laugh out loud.
Assault That Ass #2
Porn creators are witty bastards that's for sure
Quote from: filmcritic
E-Three: The Extra-Testicle
I gotta admit, that was pretty good.
Also, there's "Eat me" just another take on the name. Not sure if it's real.
1. I have as good of a sense of humor as anyone, but turning "Schindler's List" into a porn title just seems wrong to me.
2. Wasn't "Saturday Night Beaver" a fictitious porno title in Boogie Nights?
Barton Stinkfist
Pleasing Arizona
The Cocksucker Foxy
The Men Who Weren't There (Lesbian porn, reminiscent of Where the Boys Aren't)
Rear Bimbo
The Man Who Fucked Too Much
North by North Pole (another Peter North porn)
Actually, I just made these up, but it was a lot of fun.
Actually, Rising Arizona or Rising As I Bone Her might be better...
As Good As Head Gets
(As Good As It Gets)
It's great cause it's so uncreative. I laughed so fucking hard when I first read it. It was in that Roeper guys book...Ebert's partner...the one with all the movie lists.
Quote from: filmcriticDone in 60 Seconds
O, this title pretty much says everything about my sexual experiences!
Hang on for the ride of your life... That's what I tell the garls!
Luke Perry.....
Quote from: mutinycoActually, Rising Arizona or Rising As I Bone Her might be better...
Agreed. I'm still proud of Barton Stinkfist, just because I fit a Tool reference and my favorite movie into one phrase. Plus, I think it's a riot.
Glad He Ate Here always cracks me up. That's my all time favorite.
I'm more of a Face Jam man myself
edward penishands....i think i heard rupaul say that, and it was just funny.....
Poetic Just-Ass (http://www.mallcom.com/store/fr/DVDWINK8.jpg)....
...hehe, part of the Seymore Butts collection.
Quote from: filmcriticA League Of Their Moan
Scoff... :roll: ...
Quote from: ebeamanIt was in that Roeper guys book...Ebert's partner...the one with all the movie lists.
Or Gay Guy as they refer to him on the Kevin and Bean show on KROQ. Fat Guy and Gay Guy
I have a picture of me in Seattle (when I was supposed to be in Vancouver for film school), standing outside a porno theatre right before July Long Weekend, where they were playing Porn On The Fourth Of July.
I was so pleased.
Quote from: SoNowThenI have a picture of me in Seattle (when I was supposed to be in Vancouver for film school), standing outside a porno theatre right before July Long Weekend, where they were playing Porn On The Fourth Of July.
I was so pleased.
post it. pleeeeeeeeease. :P
I'll try to get to a scanner. It's kinda small and in the middle of frame, but you will still be able to see...
Quote from: Gamblor
The Man Who Fucked Too Much
That one is great.
.........beetlejism.....................based from beetlejuice.......
The Cream Mile
Backside To The Future
Moulin Splooge
The Sperminator
The Sex Files
Dun-Her
Intercourse With The Vampire
Ordinary Peepholes
Terms Of Enrearment
Holes
The Penis
and I'm just thinking these up myself.. if they're already titles, I'm not surprised. (some of these just stay the same because they should)
8 1/2
The Drawers
The Reproducers
The 400 Blows
The Last Porno Show
Assville
F*L*A*S*H
The Player
McCabe & Phyllis Diller (thats a dirty film..)
Short Cuts (its a Circumcision porn with a twist)
On Her Watered Front
Ed's Wood
The Hustler
Fanny & Alexander
Malcolm XXX
The Phantom of the Orifice
That Poon (Platoon)
Monster's Ball
American Booty
Lord of the Cock Rings (A friend came up with this (a female, no doubt))
The Gaytricks
One Splooged Over the Cockwhore's Breasts
28 Lays Later...
The Girth of a Nation
Three Gays in a Condo (Simpsons episode title)
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind (fetish film)
On the Hotter Cunt
The Pleasures of Sara Madre
Damn, I'm tired.
Those are great.. especially One Splooged Over the Cockwhore's Breasts
I posted those titles without thinking up "The Seventh Squeal".. so I had to include it now.
Don't forget the two best chick flicks:
Sperms of enderement
and Bitches
Poke a Hot Ass
and the ozporns
these might of been brought up in just too tired to read all three pages
Tawny Roberts is in the Ozporns. She's smokin'!!
Quote from: Derek237Sperms of enderement
my god what a title
you know if i wasnt 3 years old at the time i would of come up with that title, that so screams me
Quote from: SoNowThenTawny Roberts is in the Ozporns. She's smokin'!!
ohhh yes, very much indeed
the little spermaid
Quote from: subversiveproductionsthe little spermaid
For some reason, turning little kids movies into porn titles seems wrong, but even funnier.
Booty and the Beast (I believe Al Bundy found it once)
Harry Cooter and the Sorcerer's Bone
(on a side note, if I ever made a porn, when the money shot scenes occur, i would digitally add little rainbows over the nasty stuff)
Hard Eight.
Hey, it lent itself.
I posted this in Idle Chatter, but I just made these up. I hope none of them actually exist...
Night of the Giving Head
Girl With The Pearl Necklace
Peeing On Malkovich
Scatface
Schindler's Fist
Kindergarten Cock
The Virgin Soon Decides
Star Whores: A New Ho
Citizen Came
Boyz In The Mood
Willy's Wonka In Your Chocolate Factory
Orifice Space
Remember the Tight Ones
Rin-Tin-Tin: Canine Cock
Twelve Hungry Men
The Wadfather
Cold Mountin'
Shaved!
Fill Bill
Men In Back
Spurticus
Gushmore
Blew The White Thing
Homocop
Sleazy Rider
Das Booty
Crams It With Wolves
Cherry Poppins
Piding Miss Daisy
Dr. Manlove (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cum)
Oral Tenenbaums
Packing Brown
Three Men and a Baby
Donkey Punch Drunk Love
Balling Four Concubines
Gay Dicks Unloaded
You Got Serviced!
The Talented Fister, Ripley
Boning Mahoney
Deep 'n' Packed
White Men Can't Hump
Endless Hummer
The Cocks and the Hound
The Drilling Fields
Laid In Manhattan
Done In 60 Seconds
Rods In Generals
Monster Balls
The Italian Knob
Primal Queer
Mr. Holland's Anus
Tight Club
Bukkake Kid
Legend In Bagger's Pants
Swallow Man
Natural Porn Filmers
Pushing In
As Deep As It Gets
Not Without My Daughter
Forced Hump
Children of the Porn
Tranny Hall
Big Double In Little Vagina
Rectum for a Cream
Dragqueen Heart
Shag the Dog
Horny Old Men
Railing Arizona
Bone Erector
Porn Identity
Jacob's Splatter
Queer and Moaning In Las Vegas
Homo Alone 2: Tossed In New York
Pack Me If You Can
Load Drip
See Spot Cum
Queer Hunter
Rapes of Wrath
Loadbusters
With a Paddle
Elephantiasis Man
Bang the Butt Slowly
Pounding Mona
Snuff Actually
Making Ned Give In
MommyKnockers
Cream Catcher
Wet Dreams May Cum
:bravo: I think some of those do exist!
I've seen Howard Stern and his "Lord of the Anal Ring Toss"..
Does that count?
Quote from: Walrus the PretentiousWilly's Wonka In Your Chocolate Factory
Aha :-D
There's one that I saw on Cinemax a lot called "Lord of the G-Strings". Also there is one like Planet of the Apes with Porn but I dont remember the exact name.
star trek - the next penetration
the cum of all queers
gush hour
what lies beneath?
charlie's anal
peewee's mis-adventure
feeling john malkovich
Quote from: andykalThere's one that I saw on Cinemax a lot called "Lord of the G-Strings". Also there is one like Planet of the Apes with Porn but I dont remember the exact name.
(https://xixax.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.strangethings.nu%2Fpicsmov%2Fplaymateoftheapes.JPG&hash=c61268dbf0a6fc115ad1e77377a16481e895c533)
Jack Reach Around
ATM
The Bald Knight Rises
Snow White & The Cuntsman
Cumopolis
Poonrise Reamdom
Rock Hard for Ages
Movie 69
A Good Day To Be Hard
The Lone Raper
Life of Hair Pie
Wreck-It Rough
Frankenweiner
Seven Nymphomaniacs
Ain't Them Bodies Taints
Quote from: MacGuffin on October 06, 2012, 09:51:15 PM
Ain't Them Bodies Taints
We like 'Ain't Them Booties Taints'
The Ass Master
Lincum
Cum Shot
My Left Foot Fetish
Project XXX
The DickTaker
The Perks of Being Deflowered
The Three Spooges
The Porn Legacy
Dark Whores
The Raperboy
Premium Gush
Cumpliance
:yabbse-grin: so goddamn immature
The Ejaculation of Jesse James Onto The Coward Robert Ford
Tittyfuck Follies
Horror
Swalloween
The Peephole Under The Stairs
The Hairy Snatch Project
I Know What You Did Last Hummer
The InDeepers
Pieces
Let Me In
The Box
Oscar Winning
The King's Spooge
Rimjob Millionaire
No Coochie For Old Men
The Queer Hunter
Conception
Shaft
Ed Wood
Gerald McBoing-Boing ( actual name of a film )
The Outlaw Josey Nails Some Chicks
Breasts of the Southern Wild
Spoogie Nights
Punch-Drunk Lube
Rashadong
Missionary Impossible
The Truth about Cats and Dongs
A Serious Manhandle
Zero Dark Titties
Old Boy, Young Woman
The Hungger Games
Pooper
The Beaver
Tinker Tailor Soldier Sex
Moneyballs
Friends With Perfect Fits
SeXXX-Men: Fist Class
Midnight In Paris Hilton
Tabload
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Tight
My Week With Marilyn Chambers
+1 for extensiveness. Though I think "The Hung-ger Games" needs a hyphen.
i'm making a compilation of all these in one list.
Quote from: MacGuffin on October 10, 2012, 07:10:34 PM
Zero Dark Titties
What kinda racist shit is that? As if there's some sort of 'abundance' of dark titties in the porn industry? IMO, we need more. Name your favorite black porn star.
I'm just naming this off of VHS's I have:
Ass Action Hero
ACockOnLips NOW
The Dick Stays In The Sphincter
Booty Heat
Black IN White
Chode House
Dickie Roberts: Former Child Pornstar.
The Great Dicktrader
DJANGO
CUM-DRAINED
The "D" is Giant
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Bootycall
Drilling Them Softly
Drill'er Heinie Gaybook
Holey Mothers
Let The Right One In (Your Ass)
Warm Booties
Linkin'
Woody Allen edition:
What's Up Tiger Lily?
Bananas
Annie Balls
Interiors
Stardust Mammaries
Hannah and her Sisters
(Not Anal but) Anything Else
Melinda and Melinda
Snatch Point
Cassandra's Wet Dream
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (and he will fuck you in the ass)
...Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)
Take The Pussy And Run
Manhattan Squirter Mystery
Labia Days
Uncircumcised Woody Allen Project
Midnight in Bare-Ass
De-Cunt-structing Hairy
Mighty Hermaphrodite-y
Cunts and Misty Weiners
Tranny Hall
To Rome With Lube
Eatin' Low Down
Man-fappin'
Broadway Danny Blows
The Purple-headed Yogurt Slinger of Cairo
San Fernando Valley Ending
Whatever Squirts
...Zelig :ponder:
Small Time Hookers
Mad cock and glory
The Great Dick-tator
21 cunt street
The italian (Blow) Job
I Cum-fest
Bra-less
Jeremiah's Johnson
The Black stallion Returns
To catch a queef
We Need Cock About 7"
Quote from: Reelist on December 09, 2012, 03:40:35 AM
We Need Cock, About 7"
get rid of the random comma and you have yourself a thread winner.
Quote from: Pubrick on December 09, 2012, 04:13:18 AM
Quote from: Reelist on December 09, 2012, 03:40:35 AM
We Need Cock, About 7"
get rid of the random comma and you have yourself a thread winner.
I agree. Although this one got the biggest laugh out of me:
Quote from: Reelist on December 06, 2012, 11:27:00 AM
To Rome With Lube
Reelist you're uh good at this.
Quote from: ©brad on December 11, 2012, 09:27:23 AM
Reelist you're uh good at this.
I write what I don't know...
ok, guys. With Guillermo Del Toro practically creating these titles for us, I suggest we play a different game.
BEST PORN NAMES BASED ON LEGIT ACTORSBen Asslick
Matt Gayman
Will Stiff
Channing Scrotum
Jack Pickleson
Julia Slobbers
Kirsten Cunst
Stellan Stayshard
Clint EatsWood
Colin Girth
Les Mis edition:
Russell Blow
Mann Hathawang
Helena Bone 'Em Cockwhore
Um... "Hugh Jackman"
cunteleeza rice
If Pete was asked by James Lipton "What is your favorite curse word?" I think we all know what his answer would be...
also, reminded me of this:
Jerks Off Peeing on a Balls Shower
Lot going on in that one ^
The Bobbit: An Unexpected Gurney
...hey, people are into some sick shit
Quote from: RegularKarate on December 17, 2012, 03:11:59 PM
Jerks Off Peeing on a Balls Shower
I'm completely lost on that one.
Quote from: pete on December 18, 2012, 08:54:44 PM
Quote from: RegularKarate on December 17, 2012, 03:11:59 PM
Jerks Off Peeing on a Balls Shower
I'm completely lost on that one.
I was intentionally making it confusing.
If you're confused about the movie, it's "Perks of Being a Wallflower"
If you're confused about the act, it's when someone masturbates while urinating on someone who is washing their testicles.
Jack Reacharound
(Has this been mentioned already?)
Quote from: modage on December 19, 2012, 05:11:19 PM
Jack Reacharound
(Has this been mentioned already?)
http://xixax.com/index.php?topic=3137.msg319678#msg319678
Jack Reacher? Hardly Knew Her.
It Felt Good To Have This Poon
LOL
To Hand To Hog To Mouth
You Are Your Boobies / You Are Not Your Bootie
Quote from: MacGuffin on May 17, 2013, 03:12:04 AM
You Are Your Boobies / You Are Not Your Bootie
I would love to see this mostly because of its fetishization of breasts and its denouncing of butts. Not just a focus on one, but a true divide. Porn doesn't see enough of that these days.
Too Much Johnson
Engulf My Balls Street
American Hussy
Captain Fill-Ups
Inside Llewyn's Anus
Balls is the Warmest Color
The Hate Fellate
or
The Hate Fellatio
or
The Hateful 8"
Mandella: Long Cock to Beat On
In Glory Holes, Pass Turds
Pulp Dicktion
Ball Addiction
Reservoir Dongs
Jackie Brown Goes Down
Kill Pussy vol. 1
From Dicks Till Dong
Quote from: Axolotl on January 23, 2014, 12:19:44 AM
In Glory Holes, Pass Turds
Wow, bravo!
How about
Blue Jism
Dallas Bears/Cubs
12 Years Unshaved
Someone make one for August: Osage County.
Aw Gush: O-Face Cuntmeat.
No, that's terrible.
Quote from: Jeremy Blackman on January 23, 2014, 10:37:20 AM
Someone make one for August: Osage County.
August: Sausage County
Come August: We Like To Celebrate Saint Suck My Big Fat Fucking Sausage, Cunt.
Quote from: ono on February 06, 2014, 03:32:16 PM
Second to August: Osage County, this (Dallas Buyers Club) has one of the worst titles ever. It sounds like some sort of real estate drama.
Look like request to me (especially since "Osage County" was such a blast here).
Dildo Biters Club
Debbie Does Dallas Buyers Club
DAMN
It won't top that last one, but:
Dat Ass Bangers Club
yeah no u already slam dunked that one
The Two Facials of January
The Leg Ho Movie
The Grand Puta Sex Hotel
Under The Foreskin
Driving Miss Daisy Chain
Looks like Lucy (from Luc Besson) is asking for it, any takers?
Loosey
Lucy With A Dyke Named Diamond.
BREASTS OF THE SOUTHERN GIRLS GONE WILD
I have never been prouder of myself than I am right now.
I did the first half of that on page 4. But that is superior.
Boy on Boy Hood
They Came Together
Penis in Fur
slutdog millionaire
lol. sorry
[edit] keeping this because it's a bad taste bad idea and so it's actually like a porn title. but i should write apology letters asap
The Clap... and How to Get It
30 Rock
(https://xixax.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F2EQRgZU.jpg&hash=26fcbbb063d2c81255a2f17b91b0f7f5e7180a69)
Boyfood
Boywood
Before Cum Flies
Gays and Confused
Through an Ass Darkly
Wanking Life
School of Cock
The Bad Nudes Bared
Loosey
Dawn: of the Planet of the Babes
(On Your) Hercuknees
Tim's Firm Rear
My Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smeg
Dong Girth
..I need to know
Done Girl
The Good Pie
Analbelle
Men, women & definitely not children
Bang bang (hehe)
Left and done behind
Done after this week's movies released into theaters in the US.
well..
(https://xixax.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn2-www.comingsoon.net%2Fassets%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F11%2Fd5d36eddd188a06dce0c09a45527842cd9ecf4ef.jpg&hash=0df876afbfbabbdab142bb6e6f591ac99343180e)
In Her Aunt Twice
Knight of D-Cups
Big Guys
A Girl Masturbates Home Alone at Night
Into The Butt
"this year's hottest movie doesn't suck.....IT SWALLOWS"
Who We Do in the Shadows
The Smell Of Puss
Opening This Week
Fast & Furious 69
Woman in Golden shower
5 to 7 inches
Lambert loves Stamp
Effing Gray
Gooing Clear
The Dickalogue
Black Ass
.......................................................................
Sex Machina
.......................................................................
Also:
13 Inches: The Secret Soldiers of Bendover
surprised by the lack of Pacific Rimjob.
The Lust Rest Cue
It's an important WW2 film about soldiers who can't stop humping between battles. Then one day, a tragic event causes them to realize they have sex addiction. How does one know when one's lust must rest? The Lust Rest Cue.
The Dateful Rape
Sad Jax: Runny Load
Straight Outta Cumtown
Pete's Dragon
Someone had to say it.
Penis Dragon
...yeah, no one had to say that..
Peen's Draggin'
Not even sorry.
Pee pee Gaggin: Fury Road
Man Chest Hair By The Seed
A Goatse Story