Bulletproof:
*Adam Sandler shoots James Caan in the head*
Sandler: That's what you get for trying to make me suck your dick!
TV CENSOR:
"That's what you get for trying to make me sing and dance!"
TV (TBS especially) censors a lot of the best dialogue in movies because of its bad language. It's understandable for the R rated ones. But sometimes you really sit back and wonder what they censored it for... So this is dedicated to those movies and their scenes, or the lack thereof.
Have fun.
Censored "Breakfast Club" replaced the F-word with such gems as "Flip you!"
I can't believe it
I have the mother of all butchered TV versions of movies: Leaving Las Vegas. Almost half the movie is cut out!!!
-Ben visits the strip club. CUT.
-The hooker sucks on Ben's finger to steal his ring. CUT
-Ben's "Are you desirable?" monologue. CUT
-Sera and Yuri have sex. CUT.
-The entire bar fight scene. CUT.
-Ben, Sera, and bourbon scene. CUT
-The rape scene. Oddly cut up so it looks like the kids' rape was preconcieved.
And those are just the big ones. This is why you should always just cough up the few bucks to rent a movie, unless it's uncensored on TV. Many basic cable channels here in Canada like CITY TV and The New PL don't cut anything out except for words like "cunt" and "cock." So that's good. :)
Great stuff Mogwai !
Here in french canada there's no censor on TV whatsoever actually. Sometimes it gets really, really sick though.
I can't believe Lifetime showed Goodfellas.
Why do these stations like WGN even bother with movies like Basic Instinct? Who's going to watch that? It's pointless. FX showed Boogie Nights once, though I didn't watch it.
Quote from: RaviFX showed Boogie Nights once, though I didn't watch it.
It was lots of fun, actually. It seemed to be concious it was butchering itsself...the ways it was edited was great (stars over boobies and such)
The last one that really cracked me up was Midnight Run. I did realize how many F's were in the movie till I saw it edited. DeNiro curses up a storm in that one.
I really wish when someone curses they would just bleep it instead of trying to hide it with some other crummy actor's voice. Bleeps make any scene twice as funny (my favorite one being the Jerry Springer scene in Austin Powers 2).
EDIT: Oh yeah, and The Simpsons halloween special where Maggie's father is revealed to be Kodos the alien and the family goes on Jerry Springer. Marge: "I'm so *bleep*-ing embarassed." Actually, maybe I'm just in love w/ bleeps in Jerry Springer spoofs. I'm crazy, I'll stop writing now.
Quote from: RaviI can't believe Lifetime showed Goodfellas.
It was funny because they played it up as "One woman's struggle to live with a gangster husband."
Quote from: ShanghaiOrangeQuote from: RaviI can't believe Lifetime showed Goodfellas.
It was funny because they played it up as "One woman's struggle to live with a gangster husband."
Everything on Lifetime is "one woman's struggle to live with" something, usually featuring Meredith Baxter-Birney.
How does broadcast TV handle Steve Martin's f-word symphony in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles?
I saw Do the Right Thing and Boyz in the Hood on broadcast once. I can't recall anything particular about them, but they were definitely odd experiences. American Pie on FX was weird too.
The Big Lebowski and Pulp Fiction were eviscerated. :(
On Starz:Cinema for "Storytelling", during the scene where the black professor is fucking the student and forcing her to scream obscentities while he gets her up the ass, during the far shot from the back, they have a large rectangle block over both people. I was surprised considering it was a pay movie channel and shown late at night anyways.
~rougerum
if you're serious, it was like that in the theatre too. only on the "unrated" side of the dvd can you see it without, i believe.
if you're not serious, boy did i take the bait.
Quote from: The Gold TrumpetOn Starz:Cinema for "Storytelling", during the scene where the black professor is fucking the student and forcing her to scream obscentities while he gets her up the ass, during the far shot from the back, they have a large rectangle block over both people. I was surprised considering it was a pay movie channel and shown late at night anyways.
~rougerum
solondz did this himself for the rated version. i thought it was great- a big middle finger towards the MPAA.
i hate watching movies that come on tv. what i luved about the BBC is that they don't cut or edit shit, and they're no commercials. i remember watching magnolia on BBC2 or sumthing, and it was the full 3 hour ordeal in all its glory.
but yea, my main beef w/ movies on tv is commercials breaks. can't have commercial breaks during movies, it doesn't work.
Quote from: ©bradsolondz did this himself for the rated version. i thought it was great- a big middle finger towards the MPAA.
solondz talked about it on a conan interview once. it was hilarious because he was speaking sarcastically about it: "its great because this is the only country in the world where you have the luxury of seeing this big box." and the way he speaks with how he sounds (kinda like a timid muppet).. it was really funny.
lol I love watching R-rated movies on USA. Its hilarious when someone yells FOOEY!!! instead of FUCK!!!
Die Hard 2.
Right after John McLean (sp) shoots some holes in the rear fusilage and high octane jet fuel starts flying out he lights his Zippo and tosses it on the trail of gas and blows the plane up.
Original Dialogue- John McLean: Yippee Kay Ay Motherfucker
TBS Dialogue- John McLean: Yipee Kay Ay 'Mr Falcon"
That is the worst of the censored parts considering it is the triumphant reaffirmation that good does indeed still save the day. The censored version is such a cathartic let down that I couldn't even call it a denouement, more like a didnotsatisfy. Of course the entire movie is raped and pillaged by those network conformists I just hate seeing my action flicks emasculated.
What kinda makes me mad is that punks like Fred Durst and Eminem can dodge the censor radar but quality cinema takes it in the behind.
Jeepers creepers! That things' real!
(From the TV version of "The Matrix" on TBS)
;)