Comments appreciated on movie idea

[<<Reservoir Dog>]

hey every1, i have just joined xixax and i am a 14 yr old aspiring screenwriter who lives in Australia. i have been writing a new script for only a couple of weeks now and was wondering if when i am finished people would be willing to read the script and tell me if it is any good? As i am only 14, do not expect the script in only a couple of months, i have big exams coming up soon, and will not be able to do much work on it soon. Although if people would be willing to read it and give me some constructive feedback, will greatly appreciate it. if any1 has any further questions please post here and i will reply as soon as possible.

[Weak2ndAct]

Post your idea(s) in the 'brainstorming and feedback' section at the bottom of the index, that's where peeps do it.

[<<Reservoir Dog>]

Hey thanks Weak2ndAct, i wouldn't have had a clue otherwise. Well although this idea may be a little tarantionish, i have tried to change the plot so it is fairly different. The movie is called THE DEAL and is about a crime boss who calls his 4 "associates" to pay a visit to a 20 million dollar drug deal that is going down in a week, and which involves 3 of the biggest crime bosses in the whole town. When they reach the venue of the deal, they barge in and take control. Until they recieve a phone call that one of their gang members is a phoney and is planning to kill every last one of them and steal the money and drugs and run off with it all. The gangsters become quite paranoid, and lose their minds over the situation. They are being chased around the country by assailants, who they have never met before. Then they recieve a call from their boss, who is in a town that is only 45 km away from where they recieve the call. They drive frantically to find him, but on the way realise it was not the right thing to do.

[<<Reservoir Dog>]

Please keep in mind that this is just a brief overview of the story. The real story will be much more detailed, and i have got some very good dialouge planned for it so please just don't think oh it's just some crappy action script like something van damme or seagal would star in.

[pookiethecat]

hey, i think that your idea, from a practical standpoint, might be a little difficult to shoot.  when you think about characters, locations, and effects, this movie could be quite difficult to do as a filmmaker working wtih limited time and budget.  my suggestion is to work on a smaller, more intimate scale about subjects that you have firsthand experience with.  
just my 2 cents.

-pookie.

[<<Reservoir Dog>]

Yeah i realise all of those factors would be quite expensive to shoot, although i am only 14 yrs old and lol have only shot a few films, but have written many screenplays, and have written them knowing that the budget to be had to shoot that movie would have to be enormous, as all the factors u brought up would be quite costly, but thanks for your feedback, if u have any more comments please i would like to hear them, as constructive criticism to help me write better screenplays.

[<<Reservoir Dog>]

and pookie, did u actually like the idea, or were ur only comments on the difficultness of shooting?

[pookiethecat]

i suggest restating your plot in more cohesive terms.  at this moment, the explanation of the plot is muddy.