I got this idea....tell me what you think.

[Xeditor]

I guess I'm alone in appreciating the irony of the story.

I appreciate it....o wait....I wrote it!

[Jon]

The last three stories you've said remind me a lot of the ideas I had when I first wanted to make a short film, I wanted to make something depressing (not that you are) and I wanted to show how I felt about life and after I looked at the idea after I wrote it down or told someone, it just bored the fuck out of me.

I mean. This doesn't bore me. But it doesn't interest me. It's just...cliche while trying not to be, which may be worse (for the story).

Another thing that reminds me of me is, I was very heavily influenced by PTA of course and was very into chance, etc:

Why would he stop in the middle of nowhere and not see the church?

Why does just seeing a church change him? I guess I'm fine with that point. But I can say that if I was intent on killing myself seeing a church would not stop it.

I don't know. You should make it just so you can grow. Good luck!

[Cecil]

I mean. This doesn't bore me. But it doesn't interest me. It's just...cliche while trying not to be, which may be worse (for the story).

Another thing that reminds me of me is, I was very heavily influenced by PTA of course and was very into chance, etc:

Why would he stop in the middle of nowhere and not see the church?

Why does just seeing a church change him? I guess I'm fine with that point. But I can say that if I was intent on killing myself seeing a church would not stop it.

thats all true. its like the end of your story is the first idea you got and everything that comes before it is just something you put in so it can lead up to your ending.

back when i was in cegep, many students would have similar ideas, where a guy or girl depressed about life cause he/ she got dumped wants to commit suicide but then dont because they see or realize something cliche. like they see a picture of their best friend or something. what you can do is play this short as a satire of student film. throw in all those cliches, all crappy made with the slow sad song playing, and then i think your ending would work.

[chainsmoking insomniac]

Xeditor, I really don't like your idea. I'm sorry. I guess the reason I don't like it is that you haven't given me a reason to like it. And that church thing has to go. Why don't you use the gf in more than the crying jag scene?  I do like your use of chance though, of him happening upon something that begins to change the course of his life, but I wouldn't pick a church and I wouldn't make it so immediate.....you have to reel him back in, slowwwwly, keep me interested for a bit longer....
I hope I wasn't too critical pal. Keep at it.