this is my short film. still not 100% done - still have a final mix or whatever to do. let me know what you think. it's for a limited time only 'cause technically I'm not "broadcasting" it.
http://vimeo.com/6721766
password "momo"
Loved it. The end sealed it. PERFECT.
It's very pretty, too. Good cinematography and editing. Good acting. Great job, Pete. :bravo: :yabbse-thumbup:
Absolutely gorgeous, Pete.
Not a single wasted or distracting shot throughout. Succinct and true, very good qualities for any film, let alone a short one.
I think I have more to say on the matter, but thought I'd express my initial, immediate pleasure.
I liked it too. Defintely much work put into it, and it shows. I get a Red Belt vibe! The image is awesome especially for HD/digital/whatever.
good job man, really good job
Good job Pete! The visuals were very nice and I liked the overall tone of the short. The editing was excellent. Your Actress was cute but kinda shitty, haha. She had a very unnatural delivery, but I don't think it hurt the film much.
:yabbse-thumbup: :yabbse-thumbup:
that was my fault. she cut my hair, I asked her to be in the film, she said yes. I auditioned her, she did fine for someone who'd never acted. then she came over every night for 3 weeks to practice acting and boxing. it was fun times, but on the day of the shoot she got so intimidated by all the crew and extras (there were a few scenes with extras that got cut because of pacing issues) that she kinda froze up and I was too stressed out (had to get it all done in two days) to really go through it with her. I fucked up, and I'll totally be sure to learn from it next time. Sorry actress.
I thought she was alright. She didn't take anything away from it. Also, she's really cute.
Yeah, she was a little stilted but even that added to the performance, I thought.
Certainly she wasn't the most exceptional element to this, but it would be a pretty big leap for me to agree that she was "shitty".
This also had a pretty neat Christopher Doyle vibe to it.
Quote from: john on September 23, 2009, 07:34:39 PM
This also had a pretty neat Christopher Doyle vibe to it.
:yabbse-thumbup:
The look of it was one of the best things about it. A definite Chris Doyle vibe going on.
Say Pete, that was pretty damned good.
Quote from: pete on September 23, 2009, 06:12:18 PM
that was my fault. she cut my hair, I asked her to be in the film, she said yes. I auditioned her, she did fine for someone who'd never acted. then she came over every night for 3 weeks to practice acting and boxing. it was fun times, but on the day of the shoot she got so intimidated by all the crew and extras (there were a few scenes with extras that got cut because of pacing issues) that she kinda froze up and I was too stressed out (had to get it all done in two days) to really go through it with her. I fucked up, and I'll totally be sure to learn from it next time. Sorry actress.
i guess "shitty" was a bit harsh considering it was her first time. You could tell she was intimidated when she was saying her lines, but she wasn't godawful or anything. Nonetheless, you should be proud of how this turned out.
excellent structure and good male performance. shame about the leading lady. it kinda came apart emotionally at the pivotal moment where he confronts her at the rooftop (i think) and her face doesn't change but he keeps acting as if she's momenatirly upset. from then on i had to rely on him to guess where their relationship was at.
the strongest sequence by far is the pier boxing lesson, it's really well edited with the shots of them running and probably benefits from being entirely his monologue. i like some of those lines, but i don't know anything about boxing so it's probly standard boxing talk. the language is really poetic and i can see another reason why boxing appeals to first time directors, eg. kubrick.
neat twist at the end but i was kinda confused if it was mean/justified or a joke and she got it. i didn't really get where it came from, emotionally i mean.
Quote from: OrHowILearnedTo on September 24, 2009, 12:02:32 PM
i guess "shitty" was a bit harsh considering it was her first time.
no, I can take it (guess it's easy since you weren't talking about me) and I'd love more feedbacks from people - specifics and whatnot. though I became quite aware of the girl's acting really soon and kicked myself everytime I made an edit.
how do people like the colors? I had to do it myself since I could not figure out how to export things back and forth between texas and here in a timely manner - Texas is where my DP lives (in Austin). My DP did remark that the actress looked kinda awful in the very first shot so I put back in some colors to soften her skin.
P: I'm not really a boxer, I know enough about it just as a martial artist and shooting fight scenes and stuff, and those were just some martial arts principles that I thought would be applicable to relationships, but I know a love story about martial arts wouldn't be the same as a love story about boxing, which seems much less mystified, so I went with latter.
thanks everyone.
also does anyone have any idea of how to cut a 30-sec trailer together for this? PM me if you do. thanks.
Loved it Pete. Agree with P on that sequence on the pier, that was awesome. Why not just make a trailer out of that with a little VO..
*spoils*
nice little story. very well shot. very well edited, though i would've cut around certain things.. i don't know how much footage you did or didn't have. that actress is excruciating. i really wish you could've recast. i agree the final moment with her is a little ambiguous. i think you were going for a punch to the face, which is WONDERFUL but i needed to see contact. maybe more of a sound effect of glove hitting face would do it. then it would be a certifiably fantastic ending. upon review, maybe it's that damned performance.. i don't know. it's SO CLOSE.
30 sec trailer - yeah i think brad's onto something with the dock... take the dialogue/soundtrack, put some shots over it, then right on the PUNCH cut to the title.
fancy HD action.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5kwSue5kGs
I can see this developing into a feature and going mainstream. "Love taps" starring Terrence Howard and Zooey Deschanel