stand-up comics

Started by chinaski40, October 06, 2003, 04:19:57 AM

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.


this quote has been passed around a lot in the past day, attributed to Betty White.
However, it was from a friend comedian Sheng Wang, where you can catch his joke almost verbatim here
"Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot."
- Buster Keaton


maybe he stole it from betty white.

maybe your friend sold it to her for a million dollars.

maybe they both stole it from harlan ellison.

why is it suddenly being attributed to her?

someone get to the bottom of this!
under the paving stones.


Quote from: Pubrick on October 06, 2011, 02:30:32 AM
maybe he stole it from betty white.

maybe your friend sold it to her for a million dollars.

maybe they both stole it from harlan ellison.

why is it suddenly being attributed to her?

someone get to the bottom of this!

What I have found attributes the joke to Pete's friend, but the one place that seemed to know the most about it (it even had a message from Betty White, thanking him for saying she didn't make that joke, it's too blue for even her) said that it started with a DJ in California and that it turned into a street joke that this guy made into his own (comics do this sometimes, it's not the same as stealing).

Either way, Betty White never said it.

Jeremy Blackman

Funny, I heard it from Hal Sparks and he didn't attribute it to anyone. It was an elaborated version, but still. How many people are stealing this?
Living life big time


I saw that post - damien somebody as well.

Hal Sparks had a similar bit that went a lot further:

but the quote had sheng's wording.
"Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot."
- Buster Keaton


Were any of you aware of Rodney Dangerfield as an onlooker in 'The Killing'?

it's legit, I promise.


Tig Notaro

"Tragedy + time = comedy. But I don't have the benefit of time. So I'm just going to tell you the tragedy and know that everything is going to be okay."

So began Tig Notaro's set last night at her show "Tig and friends" at the Largo.

Actually, that wasn't the beginning of her set. It began when Ed Helms welcomed her to the stage and she crossed over, took the microphone, and said "Thank you, thank you, I have cancer, thank you, I have cancer, really, thank you."

Applause gave way to reticent laughter as she explained how she had planned a set about bees flying alongside her car on the 405, but that she couldn't possibly do her "silly jokes" when all this was going on. And that's when she told us that 3 days ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, in both breasts.

But she didn't just have cancer. She went on to explain that in some manic twist of fate, while her career is at an all-time high — she is moving to New York to work on Amy Schumer's new television show, she was on This American Life — concurrently, all these terrible circumstances have befallen her over the past 3 months: pneumonia made way for a debilitating bacterial infection in her digestive tract for which she was hospitalized and lost 30 pounds off of her already small frame, days after being released from the hospital, her young mother died suddenly and tragically (fell, hit her head, died), then she and her girlfriend broke up, and then, now, cancer. In both breasts. ("You have a lump." "No, doctor, that's my breast." — one of her most renowned bits is about someone remarking upon her small breasts)

For the first half of her set, even though she was telling the story in perfect grace and humor, I couldn't laugh. For the second half, for the first time in my life, as far as I can recall, I genuinely laughed and cried at the exact same time, bewildered at the tragedy and the remarkably calm, clever prism through which she assessed her terrible set of circumstances.

While telling us anecdotes from these personal tragedies, all along the way, she assured the audience "it's okay, I'm going to be okay." At one part, when she reached a dark place wherein most of the audience could not find the will to laugh, she said "maybe I'll just go back to telling jokes about bees. Should I do that?" there were several "NOs" and one insistent loud male voice who cried out


She looked genuinely taken aback, and relieved. She'd managed to make the tragic not only palatable but overwhelmingly engaging. She'd done it.

Tig's been one of my favorite comedians for a couple of years now. I told her how much I loved her work after a set at UCB one night, and she received my words so kindly that she came towards me and gave me a hug. I've gone downtown to bars by myself and sat for hours alone, just waiting to see her headlining set.

At the end of her routine last night, everyone in the audience gave her a standing ovation, for me her wowed, grateful, happy face blurry with my own salty eyes. She'd released her horrific story into the hearts of her fans. I'm sure we all felt like I did; we were made witness to a truly historical moment in comedy, by one of the industry of comedy's absolute greatest.

Bill Burr followed her set, inexplicably able to make the whole audience uproarious with laughter by the end. Bill Burr then brought on Louis C.K., the surprise guest of the night, which was a shock - it was my first time ever seeing him live - but it was very difficult to give him my enrapt attention after Tig's on-stage confessions.

My head is still swimming around what happened last night. We all saw the ultimate embodiment of what comedy is supposed to do: deeply personal tragedies somehow transformed, with the enormous, necessary power of an open-hearted audience, into brilliantly-written truths that we'll all take home with us and keep with us as long as we'll have a sound-enough mind to remember that show. If schadenfreude is pleasure derived from the misfortune of others, we all shuffled into another corner last night, schadenfreude's cousin; we're not laughing at you, we're crying with you but trying very hard to accept this avalanche of misfortune through the more edible prism of humor.

I'm so grateful I could bear witness to what happened last night, and more than that I'm grateful to comedy and to Tig Notaro for being not only courageous enough and not only spirited enough but for being so endlessly, achingly HONEST with all of us, the stunned, mouth-breathing strangers in the dark.

-from Kira Hesser's blog


Louis C.K. is selling that Tig Notaro set (audio only) on his website. Great listen.


Speaking of Louie,

A friend of mine had an extra ticket , so I found someone to cover my shift and now I get to see Louie C.K tonight.  It should be pretty interesting. 
it's not the wrench, it's the plumber.


"Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot."
- Buster Keaton


Louie was good. I don't know a ton about the guy but he seems to be on top of his game if you ask me.

I remember something on youtube a while ago where he talked about Carlin's approach and how he was always about looking forward and working towards the next special.  As a comedian you spend all this time working and perfecting the delivery and message of your material and then in a lot of cases you just have to move on, which i can imagine is exhausting and mentally draining.

I'm sure you're familiar with the quote or whatever, but everything was fresh- nothing I'd heard before, which I thought was fantastic.  I feel as though the inspiration and drive that Carlin's approach had, gave Louie the perspective he needed.  I feel that George Carlin was mainly 65% social commentry and the rest personal absurdities.  Louie was about the opposite. He had things to say about culture and such, but mostly he just told stories. 

There were three or four bits that have really stuck with me including his final bit.  He talked about how, if murder was legal, then kids would be murdered a lot.  It was contextually funny if you can believe that. Ha. but, then he encored with this and it reminded me of pure Carlin.  May be the best bit Louie's ever done.  Do comedians always encore?  because this one was particularly genius, cause he leaves the stage with everyone thinking, "so, child murder, that's what we're going to end on."  Then he comes back out explains how it's an awful thing and segways into this.


Sorry for the poor quality, and the annoying people in the audience, but it's the best they had.  Check him out if you get a chance.

"of course, if you're defending this country, and you get shot or you get hurt, this is a terrible tragedy; Of Course.      But Maybe, if you pick up a gun and you go to another country and you get shot, it's not that weird.  Maybe if you get shot by the guy who you were just shooting at, maybe it's a tiny bit your fault too.
it's not the wrench, it's the plumber.


Good stuff, I'm so jealous. While we're on the subject of Louie, I thought I'd post this hour long clip from the Opie and Anthony show where Louie talks about SNL, and more importantly, his boating incident:

On an unrelated note, I read this interview with Doug Stanhope from The Denver Post and thought this was pretty great:

Doug Stanhope: "I'm doing a show in West Palm Beach right before I come to Denver and my buddy Andy Andrist, who's one of the funniest guys I know in the world, will be there. He was molested as a young teenager by a friend of his father's and he found out where the fucking guy lived — and he lives down in West Palm Beach. Apparently when he was molesting Andy, this guy told him he'd buy him a car as some sort of enticement. And Andy wants to get his fucking car that he was promised. He wants his photos back that this guy took so he can sell his own child porn online. So Andy invited this guy to the show and he doesn't know who Andy is these days, and we're going to have cameras there and try to do this kind of "This Is Your Life" surprise thing. So I booked this show so I could go down to watch it. All these other comics are working on screenplays and I'm fucking Googling celebrities who have been molested and planning this Chris Hanson-style comedy ambush. So hopefully I'll have a story to tell on stage in Denver about it."


Jenny Johnson is my new hero!

Chris Brown Deletes Twitter After Distasteful Remarks Toward Female Comedian

After engaging last night in a vulgar back-and-forth with a female comedian on Twitter, Chris Brown has deleted his Twitter account entirely. The controversy-courting pop star fled the social network after hurling a series of extremely graphic and off-color sexual insults at Houston-based comedian Jenny Johnson, who started the exchange with her own shot at Breezy's character.

Sunday afternoon, Brown took to Twitter complaining about how he believes he's aged.

"I look old as fuck! I'm only 23," he wrote.

Johnson, who follows Brown and has made something of a habit of criticizing him ever since his 2009 conviction for aggravated assault against Rihanna, took the momentary display of vulnerability as an opportunity to hit him with a verbal gut punch.

"I know! Being a worthless piece of shit can really age a person," she wrote.

Brown, who has never been known for his self control, took the bait, leveling a stunning rejoinder at the comedian.

"Take them teeth out when u Sucking my dick HOE," he wrote.

Johnson, whom Rolling Stone has called one of "The 25 Funniest People on Twitter," took issue not with the content of Brown's remark, but with his misuse of a homophone.

"It's 'HO' not 'HOE' you ignorant fuck," she tweeted.

The exchange didn't stop there. Breezy continued the quarrel by doubling down on indecent imagery.

"I should fart while ur giving me top," he wrote. To which Johnson replied: "Your mom must be so proud of you."

Brown, who has a close relationship with mother Joyce Hawkins, later claimed to have consulted his mom, firing back with another suggestion of crude bodily debasement.

"Mom says hello ... she told me not to shart in ur mouth, wanted me to shit right on your retina," he wrote.

Deviating from the put-down contest, momentarily, Brown at one point seemed to acknowledge the source of Johnson's (and presumably others') anger.

"Just ask Rihanna if she mad??????" he tweeted.

Winding down her role in the spat, Johnson highlighted Brown's unusual fixation.

"Okay. I'm done. All I got from that exchange with Chris Brown is that he wants to shit and fart on me," she wrote, later adding "I have zero respect for a person who seems unapologetic for the terrible crime he committed and shows no signs of changing."

Brown, too, was apparently unhappy with the exchange and later deleted his account. He took a similar step in 2009 after going on a Twitter rant against retailers for their alleged unwillingness to carry his album. This morning, Jenny Johnson revealed she has been receiving death threats from angered Brown fans.


Here's a small collection of her tweets since last year:

EDIT: couldn't find any actual evidence of Jenny Johnson being a stand up, but she sure stood up to that bag of shit! So this is staying here


she's a twitter star. she's a tv producer or girlfriend of somebody I think, a comedian but not a stand up comic. she also does similar things to kim kardashian and others of that kind.
"Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot."
- Buster Keaton


3 things I never need to hear another comedian talk about for the rest of my life:

1. The Sarah Mclachlan "In the arms of an angel" pet adoption commercial.

2. Why dogs are better than cats

3. Airport security

Alright, we get it. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!