Author Topic: shooting in the streets at night--now with a trailer  (Read 8687 times)

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pete

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shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #15 on: September 20, 2005, 09:23:51 PM »
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thanks for the words.  if anyone else has words, please lay them out here.  but to the two of you, was there enough tension between the two guys when the scene wasn't funny?  I was trying to create some tension, then break it with the nosebleed guy, then all of a sudden double back and build it up again--did anything resembling that come through?  please be honest thanks.
this scene is about 3/4 way through the movie, two more scenes before the final fight, so yeah it was a build up.
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Ghostboy

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shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #16 on: September 20, 2005, 09:25:13 PM »
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There was no tension until the end, when the guy picks up the note.

RegularKarate

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shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #17 on: September 20, 2005, 10:33:33 PM »
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I agree with Ghostboy on just about everything he said... I'll also add that some scenes were way too over-exposed for my taste, even for the "Reno 911" look.

The tension really did pick up when he picked up the note, but it didn't end up taking me anywhere.  I think if the point where he decides to back down doesn't flow right.  maybe it's missing a beat or something.  Maybe I'm not understanding the scene though... is he backing down?  Or was that an invitation to fight later?  Now that I think about it, it seems like it was supposed to be later, in which case that might need to be more clear because he says something like "yeah, and you've got a friend right there" and points to the Texas guy.  For whatever reason, that made me think that the fight was supposed to happen right then and then he just decided not to because the guy's balls were tough.

pete

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shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #18 on: September 20, 2005, 10:40:40 PM »
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oh, no, the whole movie begins as a flashback, as the kid walks to his fight and he's explaining to a bartender the backstory of the fight.  He was supposed to just deliver the note.  I guess you're supposed to know that the letter in his hand was a challenge letter from the first shot (and narration) would that help?  So he didn't back down from the fight; it just wasn't supposed to take place right there and then.  He did get scared of the guy's balls though.
“Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.”
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shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #19 on: September 20, 2005, 10:44:17 PM »
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Yeah, the more I think about it, the more obvious it is... why would he bring an invitation to kick his ass right then?  (I guess I thought that was the joke).  I like the end better now, though I still think the scene needs to be trimmed a good deal.

killafilm

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shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #20 on: September 21, 2005, 02:12:10 AM »
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I guess when you know that the letter is an invite to fight there's a bit more tension.  It could still be trimmed though.  Do you have more coverage? I think the easiest  way to build up some tension would be through the editing.  Cutting back and forth between the lead and the antagonist.  Speed up the pacing a bit.  Hope that helps.

socketlevel

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shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #21 on: September 21, 2005, 01:30:46 PM »
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Quote from: killafilm
I guess when you know that the letter is an invite to fight there's a bit more tension.  It could still be trimmed though.  Do you have more coverage? I think the easiest  way to build up some tension would be through the editing.  Cutting back and forth between the lead and the antagonist.  Speed up the pacing a bit.  Hope that helps.


i agree with killafilm.  the only jump cut that i thought worked was the one where the black guy holds up his hand and says hold off.  the hand held camera worked but at times felt unmotivated and rushed.  even if you're shooting hand held you should still follow the twenty degree rule (unless it's a motivated jump cut).  The angle you cut to should be twenty degrees off of the previous one without crossing the axis.  i'm not a stickler for these "rules" because i've seen great films break them, just in your case if you followed them (mainly the twenty degree rule over the axis one) it would have made for a better experience.  and it kind of feels like you edited in everything you shot, you needed more coverage.

jump cuts can be hard though because there is an unexplainable reason why they work, and when they don't, they just simply don't.  other than the one i mentioned i don't think they worked.  i was constantly aware of the jump cuts.  don't get me wrong, the nature of the jump cut means the viewer is supposed to be aware of it, yet not in the "oh that was weird" kind of way.

it was funny though, i liked it.  the main character got better as it went on, at first i thought he was a little overly theatrical but that went away.  the black guy is great.  i really liked his performace.  the macho guy was really bad, and the fourth guy seemed good.

i got the bit with the note, no problem.  you can edit that to be much tighter i'm sure.

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Ravi

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shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #22 on: September 21, 2005, 08:04:01 PM »
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The handheld aesthetic is fine, but there needs to be a little more care in the framing and movement of the shots.  The framing at times has too much headroom, such as the second shot (zoom-in on the guy in the cap) or "floats" distractingly.  Some of the little camera adjustments (the guy knocking on the door) call attention to themselves.  Be careful not to point the camera into the sunlight, as there were one or two instances of camera reflections and lens dust on the screen.  The zooms are too self-concious and not neat enough IMO.

The footage doesn't lend itself to editing as much as it should.  It doesn't feel like there was much motivation or a specific pace or reason for the cuts.

pete

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shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #23 on: September 30, 2005, 10:27:05 PM »
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I almost just got mugged.  we were in this parking lot, shooting the first half of the first fight.  There was me, Chris (the main guy), two little white guys George and Diego, and dude holding the reflector and his girlfriend, just hanging out.  We were in front of some art gallery and those people were very nice even though we used their property without telling them.  Then these two jackasses showed up, a white kid and a black kid, teenagers, and one kid was asking us dumb questions like "Can I be your intern" and insisted on coming in to show us "how to punch."  We just kinda like backed down and laughed it off and told him nobody wanted to take a punch from him.  He was like "so I guess I'm the man now".  And then started telling us about how we gotta watch where we're at, but the irony is, that was next to where I used to live, a real nice Cambridge neighborhood (in front of an art gallery) and now I live in like the middle of the ghetto, and this kid was gonna tell us about his turf.  We just all kinda played along, hoping he'd leave us alone.  We did about two/ three more takes in the fight, then suddenly one kid picked up the knife on the ground (a prop in the background) and started playing with it.  We patiently sat and watched his friend taking the knife from him, with another knife from his pocket, and wanted to show us how to "defend" himself with two pocket knives.  We were all martial artists in and it was pretty laughable, but we were just kinda waiting for them to leave.  Then one kid said he'd leave, WITH MY CAMERA.  I was like, no way you're getting this camera.  And the other two dudes were just kinda mocking them, but not overtly since they had both our knives.  The main kid stayed in character the entire time and started talking more and more shit (he was also a little drunk) and the kid with the knives just started walking towards me, demanding the camera, I backed up, trying to stay out of his range, and then the rest of the dudes talked more shit and they left.
It was real awkward and embarassing.  Guess we ain't shooting there anymore.
“Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.”
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Pubrick

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shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #24 on: October 01, 2005, 03:06:24 AM »
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yeah.. don't leave knives lying around.
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pete

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Re: shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #25 on: November 11, 2005, 12:06:54 AM »
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“Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.”
- Buster Keaton

JG

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Re: shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #26 on: November 11, 2005, 09:21:02 AM »
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can u repost that yousendit link?  i just read this topic and now i'm interested...

pete

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Re: shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #27 on: January 12, 2006, 10:26:36 PM »
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so, I've tried shooting the mugging scene twice now--first time, as I've posted above, I was actually almost mugged/ stabbed, and then the second time it just wasn't good.  So tomorrow night I'm trying again, but it looks terrible--my actors, a few of them haven't called back, and I can't find a car that's large enough to fit my reflector boards and stunt mats in.  Man, am I doomed to never finish a movie in my entire adult life?  MOPEY MOPEY MO PEE LESS POOP hope he eats two mo' penis too.

edit: yay everything worked out kinda.  two girls volunteered to bounce lights for me and it made the set a lot funner 'cause all of a sudden we have girls there laughing at jokes.  we got a lot of dudes in trucks heckling and, like that joke article from the onion a while ago, my main actor stayed in character and mocked them back, though I don't think I'm gonna keep any of it.  it was funny though.  then it took me forever to direct this one guy just because his movements aren't very theatrical and it was much harder to direct gestures and facial expressions than dialogues, I'll tell you that.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2006, 09:53:53 PM by pete »
“Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.”
- Buster Keaton

md

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Re: shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #28 on: January 14, 2006, 09:47:35 AM »
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hey pete, can you re up that short?  I'd like to see it as well.  I am shooting a short on a vx2000 all at night, and am curious as to how yours looked. 
"look hard at what pleases you and even harder at what doesn't" ~ carolyn forche

pete

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Re: shooting in the streets at night--now with a script
« Reply #29 on: January 15, 2006, 01:01:49 PM »
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I'm so far from being done.  I have at least 8 more days.
“Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.”
- Buster Keaton

 

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