Author Topic: do you give a hoot?  (Read 1270 times)

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do you give a hoot?
« on: April 05, 2005, 04:16:03 AM »
I just started writing something, a short for this summer, and I'm just curious if you give a hoot so far, or if you think it's funny, or whatever.

               INT. BAR - LATE NIGHT

               Our hero quietly stumbles into the bar, it is late, and it is
               closing.  The only person hanging around seems to be the
               bartender/ owner himself.

                         Son, this bar is done.

                         That's a joke right?

                         You'd be laughing if it was.  I'm
                         afraid it's the reality.  Come back
                         tomorrow night.  Early.

                         There probably won't be a tomorrow

                         Don't say that.  We have hot young
                         bartenders serving you drinks, and
                         all the great classy music to dance

                         Sounds attractive, but after
                         tonight, I'm done.  I'm fighting a
                         bunch of people tonight, they
                         exceed me in strength and number.
                         Not to mention their kungfu.

                         Their kungfu?

                         Well, mainly just strength and
                         number, but not like it matters.

                         What are you going to do?

                         I dunno, fight them.

                         Are you good?

                         As I said, there probably won't be
                         a tomorrow night.

                         That sucks.

                         For free booze and music, I'll
                         treat you with this story.

                         No free booze, but...

               He kicks the wall behind him, a guitar, hanging above him as
               a form of decoration (along with pictures and other rock
               memorabilia) falls right into his arms.  He begins strumming.
               Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynold's "Don't Pull Your Love Out
               on Me Baby".

                         Good enough.


               Little sunlight shines through the basement, with a few
               traditional weapons leaning against the wall.  The hero
               surrounds himself with four wing chun dummies and four more
               punching bags, as he works his way around imaginary

                                   HERO (V.O.)
                         I'm a tuna fisherman by trade, and
                         as you know, next to meat-packing,
                         fire-fighting (God bless America)
                         and coal-mining, tuna-fishing, or
                         tuna hunting, as I'd like to call
                         it, is probably the most dangerous
                         legal profession amongst
                         industrialized nations.

                                   BARTENDER (V.O.)
                         What about a soldier?

                                   HERO (V.O.)
                         So as I was saying, due to the
                         lethal nature of my profession, not
                         to mention laziness, I only work
                         maximum of one month during the
                         entire year.  I therefore spend the
                         rest of my time cultivating my
                         hobby, which is martial arts in
                         this case.  I train for 8-hours a
                         day, usually against imaginary
                         enemies in non-specific situations.

               EXT. FISHING COMPANY - DAY

               The company sits on the side of a dock in a little fishing
               town.  Our hero walks out of the company with a wad of cold
               hard cash in his hands.

                                   BARTENDER (V.O.)
                         Do you get by with just a month
                         worth of tuna, maximum?

                                   HERO (V.O.)
                         Ever paid for sushi?

               INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

               The hero lays on the sofa watching TV, and an INFOMERCIAL
               COMES ON.  It endorses a sharp pocket knife.

               HERO's eyes light up.

that's all I have so far.
“Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.”
- Buster Keaton


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do you give a hoot?
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2005, 03:52:42 PM »
not bad.  got anymore to it yet?


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