Author Topic: Thomas Edison (Short Film Available for Viewing)  (Read 28993 times)

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Brazoliange

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« Reply #45 on: May 02, 2005, 12:39:49 AM »
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yes, sorry for not reading the rest of the thread first, that was pretty stupid

storyboards look good.

I do have to say though, it DID feel like there was resolution, at least to me.. between Alex and Nicole, almost a rekindling of the relationship? but who the fuck am I to judge, it's your movie :) :-D  can't wait to see the finished product
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matt35mm

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« Reply #46 on: May 02, 2005, 01:01:15 AM »
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Just reposting the link to the FINAL DRAFT here so that no one misses it.  Every reader's comment helps me.  It keeps me conscious of what to be careful about, no matter how small a detail.

And there are storyboards on the previous page.

Thanks guys.  All this has been very helpful.

Ghostboy

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« Reply #47 on: May 16, 2005, 05:51:56 PM »
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I finally read the new draft. It's still great, and it's been so long since I read the original version that I didn't really notice the changes, aside from the more subtle screen directions.

I think it's a wonderful script, still, and, like everyone else says, it'll be a brilliant film if you can pull it off. The toughest part will be sustaining the last leg of their conversation, before she goes back over to Paul; finding the right mixture of anger, fear, etc. to keep the context realistic while still allowing this philosphical discussion to take place. I'm sure rehearsals are going to be a real workout.

The only other things I can think of are: be careful about music, and don't be afraid to let things play as long as they need.

matt35mm

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« Reply #48 on: May 16, 2005, 06:32:17 PM »
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Quote from: Ghostboy
The only other things I can think of are: be careful about music, and don't be afraid to let things play as long as they need.

I'm definitely not afraid to let things play out.  During rehearsals, dialogue will be stripped away--whatever changes we make, the end result will be less dialogue, because there's still too much, and it's still too neat.

There is no music for the majority of the movie.  Just at the very end there will be a song called "No Limit On The Words" by Songs: Ohia (download it and listen to it--lemme know if you think it works as well as I do).  I've already acquired the license to use it.  Other than that, the soundtrack will mostly be dominated by the quiet natural sounds from the location--tree leaves rustling, birds chirping, and that's about it.

I'm glad you liked it so much.  I really believe that I am a better filmmaker than a writer.  This screenplay was a result of hard work, but it's still perhaps somewhat limited (most of that has to do with the dialogue, I think).  I'm not saying it's bad, but I think it's in the actual filmmaking that I can make it as transcendent as I want it to be.

Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing it.  Oh, and I'd like to know what you think of the storyboards (on the previous page).  They're only of the beginning sequence.

Reinhold

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« Reply #49 on: June 07, 2005, 10:05:03 AM »
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any chance you can submit this to the xixax dvd if one gets made?
Obviously what you are doing right now is called (in my upcoming book of psychology at least) validation. I think it's a normal thing to do. People will reply, say anything, and then you're gonna do what you were subconsciently thinking of doing all along.

matt35mm

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« Reply #50 on: June 07, 2005, 10:13:06 AM »
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Sure, I'd certainly consider it.

So I've finally casted the two parts.  We're still picking a Paul.

The two actors are pretty great, they get the movie, they get my direction, and I think it's gonna turn out really, really well.  The movie is going in a more poetic (but hopefully not pretentious) and less-is-more direction.  Gonna cut out tons of the dialogue and work with the actors on making new dialogue that still gets across the same points but in a better way.  It's good that they GET the movie, because that's gonna be put to the test when they have to be creatively involved in the re-write, basically.

It's all going tremendously well, everyone.  That's all there is to say about it.

atticus jones

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« Reply #51 on: June 09, 2005, 02:08:50 PM »
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for future reference:

the past tense of "cast" is "cast"

your neglected deference:

so you cast high school students from san diego...

and now you are giving them permission to "make new dialogue" because they capital G E T your script?...


yes indeed, it sounds as if things are going "tremendously well"

poor come on sense:

if they "GET" the script...why the re right? re tore ick ...pull ease know re pligh

ball bustin my friend...go make your movie...i think your idea is groovy

actually was discussing your premise with a deepee last night...will probably be working with him soon and we were shooting the cinematic shit...your dookie came up...

for what its worth

later
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meatball

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« Reply #52 on: June 09, 2005, 10:43:50 PM »
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Whatever you do, don't allow yourself and your cast and crew to fall into the "gee shucks, we're all making a movie, ain't it great" mentality. We've discussed this before, and I know you hate it. And that's your worst enemy right now. It's cool that everybody is getting your script, but when you're on set, don't let it devolve into a fun loving community event.

matt35mm

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« Reply #53 on: June 09, 2005, 11:30:38 PM »
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Oh God yeah, I know.  I was recently in a stage production where this was the case and the result was a total lack of direction in the shows.  Thanks for the advice.  I won't let this slip into that territory.  I'm a muthafuckin' director--I'll muthafuckin' direct.

And atticus jones... I love you, man.

meatball

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« Reply #54 on: July 22, 2005, 08:21:58 PM »
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Any developments? Or is the project shelved because of summer and college?

atticus jones

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« Reply #55 on: July 24, 2005, 04:32:40 AM »
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Quote from: meatball
is the project shelved because of summer and college?


or because you handed your life work over to children?
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matt35mm

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« Reply #56 on: July 26, 2005, 09:23:26 AM »
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We're in rehearsals.  That's been going on for a while.  It's going very well, I think.  We'll start shooting in mid-August.

College doesn't start until mid-September, so it's not an issue.  I'll be editing up there, but shooting should only take 5-7 days.

w/o horse

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« Reply #57 on: July 27, 2005, 02:23:59 AM »
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I think the situation is fucking perfect for the discussion that takes place.  It makes me jealous, honestly, that you found this moment in the woods to place all the fears of growing up, all the fears of messing up.  You wrote a smart, clever, and ballsy script.  It also hits really close to home for me.

I think it's awesome you're using Songs:  Ohia too.  Molina is your hero?  What do you think of Magnolia Electric Co?  Nevermind we'll just talk about the script.

You've already addressed the issue of dialogue, which would be my nitpick.  There is a chunk of it that comes off as forced and a chunk that comes off as juvenile, but there is also really witty and perceptive dialogue in the midst.  I'd be careful about what you keep and take out though, I think that being a little sloppy will make your characters a little more their age, you know.  Saying the wrong things right is important.

Also, I think the dialogue swells the tension effectively.  Impressively, even.
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Pozer

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« Reply #58 on: July 30, 2005, 10:46:53 PM »
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Quote from: matt35mm


The two actors are pretty great, they get the movie, they get my direction, and I think it's gonna turn out really, really well.  The movie is going in a more poetic (but hopefully not pretentious) and less-is-more direction.  Gonna cut out tons of the dialogue and work with the actors on making new dialogue that still gets across the same points but in a better way.  It's good that they GET the movie, because that's gonna be put to the test when they have to be creatively involved in the re-write, basically.


This sounds great.  And this is obviously the most important thing you have to work on.

Jonny come lately over here says good luck to you, Matthew.  I think this will make a quite lovey short.  As you've stated above, you already know what you're doing with the dialouge, but I really do hope you trim it to the most possible point.

My big 35mm 'real' short film was a very similiar situation.  The premise was a young man who comes back to his motel room and finds a suicidal girl with a gun in her mouth.  He spends the night attempting to convince her not to kill herself, opening up to her pouring his own life and heartache out while at the same time trying to figure out the question that haunts him: How did she get in his room?  Anyhow, the first draft was 21 pages as well and cluttered with dialouge.  In the end, I got it down to 15 and it was still too much.  It's a difficult matter, but when two characters are in one place and are doing mostly talking the entire time, it will get boring no matter what the subject or situation entails.  I don't want to get into films like Reservoir Dogs or Glengarry GlenRoss or what have you, those films worked for different reasons.  I've read your script and it reminds me of what I went through on my own short.  And I truly hope your casting pays off.  With mine, the male lead was perfect.  He and I worked very closely on rewriting the dialouge, mostly chopping what was repetetive.  This truly paid off and his performance was nearly flawless.  The female lead was so good in her audition.  She cried on cue- everything.  It was very hard working with her during the shoot cause our time was so restricted and her performance had quite a few weak spots.  It's the absolute worst when you know you didn't get what is needed from a performance, but you are forced to move on because of that God awful thing called time.  Luckily, we fixed most of it during editing.  But obviously don't count on that.

Focus on that poetic approach, Matt.  I know you are cause I get a sense of the type of films you are going to make, Mr. Malick, but this is a story and setting where it is going to pay off quite beautifully.

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atticus jones

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« Reply #59 on: July 31, 2005, 02:59:31 AM »
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Quote from: POZER

when two characters are in one place and are doing mostly talking the entire time, it will get boring no matter what the subject or situation entails.  I don't want to get into films like Reservoir Dogs or Glengarry GlenRoss or what have you, those films worked for different reasons.  


the different reasons:

ed harris, tim roth, jack lemmon, steve buscemi, alec baldwin, al pacino, etc.

over written dialogue requires highly skilled actors much like over weight women require highly skilled lovers
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