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NEON MERCURY

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« Reply #195 on: August 24, 2004, 08:01:30 PM »
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besides myself........what other poster do you drip w/ anticipation to read...?

gt doesnt count...... :wink:

Thrindle

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« Reply #196 on: August 24, 2004, 09:02:36 PM »
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Quote from: NEON MERCURY
besides myself........what other poster do you drip w/ anticipation to read...?

gt doesnt count...... :wink:

Are you trying to say that GT makes me wet?   :shock:
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MacGuffin

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« Reply #197 on: August 24, 2004, 09:09:40 PM »
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Quote from: Thrindle
Quote from: NEON MERCURY
besides myself........what other poster do you drip w/ anticipation to read...?

gt doesnt count...... :wink:

Are you trying to say that GT makes me wet?   :shock:


Well, he does shower you with much attention.
“Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” - Andy Warhol


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cron

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« Reply #198 on: August 24, 2004, 09:16:00 PM »
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WHY IS BORGES IN THIS PAGE
context, context, context.

03

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« Reply #199 on: August 24, 2004, 09:18:07 PM »
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Quote from: MacGuffin
Well, he does shower you with much attention.

like everyone else.

Thrindle

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« Reply #200 on: August 24, 2004, 09:25:05 PM »
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Quote from: MacGuffin
Quote from: Thrindle
Quote from: NEON MERCURY
besides myself........what other poster do you drip w/ anticipation to read...?

gt doesnt count...... :wink:

Are you trying to say that GT makes me wet?   :shock:


Well, he does shower you with much attention.


 :-D  Those are the posts I anticipate... keep 'em cumming Mac! Tee Hee
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Gold Trumpet

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« Reply #201 on: August 25, 2004, 12:18:48 PM »
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If you had to be an expert for one subject or time period in history, what would it be? At this moment, what song prolly bests describes your state of mind? Any movies coming out at the "end of september" you want to see? Going against the grain, do you always feel "different" than everyone else or has your way of life become too normal to really differentiate? If you had to learn one instrument, what would it be? What profession do I hold little interest for that you think I'd particularily be good at? If you had the money to buy the clothes, what personal style could you see yourself adapting into (if different from the one you have now)? And another "if you had the money", how many cars would you own and what would they be? What are the "perfect" sunglasses for you? Best ice cream? Favorite accessory to wear? Best guilty pleasure TV show? William Jefferson Clinton of John Fitzgerald Kennedy? Coconut or Pumpkin Pie? Favorite movie from the 90s? Best feature on a man's face? If you had to use 3 words to describe your picture of heaven, what would they be? Too many questions?

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

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« Reply #202 on: August 25, 2004, 01:31:16 PM »
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Everyone else gets relationship advice from you, so baaaaa.

I was dating this girl (yes, like I said in that other thread somewhere, she posted on here as myadopteddaughter).  Things were going more than fine.  I really connected with her, and it was the first relationship I have had where we both trusted each other almost completely and were very much there for each other.  

But, school time is rolling around and she just graduated high school.

So, going into my senior year (and her freshman year of college) she decided that it'd be hard for us to keep in touch.  She'd only be attending community college not far form here, and she'd be working a job during the week and an occasional weekend job.  After this year, she'd be moving to Atlanta to got to college there, anyway.  She told me she wanted to seperate because now is a time in her life when things were happening for her, and she wanted to be single and go into these things, untethered by the resposibility of a boyfriend, I guess.  So, she was telling me the whole "It's not me, it's you" lines, and telling me "You were perfect as a boyfriend, but now this is my decision."  So I offered my support to stick with her through this.  But she insists that we separate so that I wouldn't spend my senior year tied down to the same girlfriend (but it's not like I'll find anyone special at this school, anyway).  

No matter what I say to her, she sticks to her resolve.  She tells me that it was selfish of her, but sometimes people need to think of themselves more often, especially me.  Apparently, I care too much for others and not enough for myself.  I usually just go with change, but when she wanted to break up I was so OK with it that it scared me a little while afterwards.  Why was I so comfortable wrapping up our relationship, one of the best I ever had?  That was probably the wrong thing to think.

So I want to talk to my friends about it, I figure they'll be open and listen to my problems, since I listen to theirs whenever they have any.  But everytime I start they stop me and say "Is this about Sarah?  Dude, she dumped you.  Get over it."  So ever since we broke up, I've had no means of purging my feelings, which makes me bottle it up, and I seem much more aggravated about it than I would be if some people I knew would listen.  But that also shows me how selfish people don't give a damn about anyone else.

For instance, I evem have a friend who's girlfriend is going to college and he bitches about how he'll miss her, but he and her will wait til after college and get back together.  But when I told him it was hard for me to break up with Sarah, they're like "How?  Just get over it."

So thank you for reading this, if you did, I feel bitchy for writing this, but it was hard to hold in since no one wanted to hear it.  

I guess the question is...should I be more about myself?  Should my actions revolve more around me?  It just seems that if I trust someone, I only put myself on a pedestal to be let down.

Thank you for your time.
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

Thrindle

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« Reply #203 on: August 25, 2004, 01:50:58 PM »
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Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
If you had to be an expert for one subject or time period in history, what would it be?

I'm already an expert on the Holocaust.  I've had a sick fascination since about grade 4.  

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
At this moment, what song prolly bests describes your state of mind?

Frustrated and depressed.  I have no money.  I never do anymore.  I can't even afford to smoke.  My student loan monthly interest payments are going to fuck me.  My income is shit.  How am I supposed to move out next year?  Not gonna happen.  I feel completely stuck in one spot.  And I'm not happy where I am.  I'm not happy with friends, with family, with myself.  I feel stuck.  I feel like a martyr victim and I've got a lot of hostility toward the world.  
Need to snap out of it.

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
Any movies coming out at the "end of september" you want to see?

Honestly, I don't care what we see, just as long as we're seeing it.

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
Going against the grain, do you always feel "different" than everyone else or has your way of life become too normal to really differentiate?

I feel perpetually different.  I always have.  I long to be completely isolated and alone, and yet I argue with myself that I am social.  I am far too self analytical for my own good.  People don't understand that.  I've never been able to float through life... I tend to drudge.  At this point in my life I'm wondering if my need to be alone is even healthy.  I just want to get my shit figured out.  I don't have time to pretend that I'm happy at a bar, or happy talking about stupid little things that have no consequence.  
I ask you:  Is this a normal way to feel?  Or am I just being a depressed little bitch?

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
If you had to learn one instrument, what would it be?

I already have some idea as to how to play the guitar.  I'd want to play it properly and well.

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
What profession do I hold little interest for that you think I'd particularily be good at?

You would be an amazing social worker.

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
If you had the money to buy the clothes, what personal style could you see yourself adapting into (if different from the one you have now)?

I would have gorgeous underwear!  And designer jeans.  I would own boat neck Cashmere sweaters and Gucci shoes.  Oh man, if I could dress in expensive clothes I'd look like... Reese Witherspoon in "Sweet Home Alabama"


Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
And another "if you had the money", how many cars would you own and what would they be?

I'd own one car.  A Mercedes convertable... I like this 1974 mercedes...


Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
What are the "perfect" sunglasses for you?

Hmmm... The one's my cousin Carlie has.

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
Best ice cream?

Blue Bubblegum... or... Rolo
 
Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
Favorite accessory to wear?

A great pair of earings.
Note to self: Part of my depression is because I have to neglect a lot of things that I truly enjoy ... like fashion ...  (see I'm a whiney sap)

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
Best guilty pleasure TV show?

I've been known to enjoy the OC.  But you see, I watch it in my cousins backyard on a big screen tv... in a hot tub!

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
William Jefferson Clinton of John Fitzgerald Kennedy?

JFK

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
Coconut or Pumpkin Pie?

I love coconut cream pie!  But if I had my way... I'd snap my grandma out of her Alzheimers and get her to make her pumpkin pie.

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
Favorite movie from the 90s?

Reality Bites

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
Best feature on a man's face?

I love noses.

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
If you had to use 3 words to describe your picture of heaven, what would they be?

I've got one:
Simple.

Quote from: The Gold Trumpet
Too many questions?

No, I needed to vent.  So thanks.
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Thrindle

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« Reply #204 on: August 28, 2004, 12:49:53 AM »
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Quote from: Walrus, Kookookajoob
Said a lot of stuff about a lot of things.


First and foremost... I'm an asshole.  I never deny that I'm completely self absorbed.  I called a friend today... I had left my jacket (with Visa card) at her house.  It had been a couple of days since we talked... anyways I called her and got the machine.  She called me back from the Island.  She was on holidays.  I forgot.  I woke her up at 9:00am from her vacation to ask her about a fucking jacket (and beloved visa card).  I digress...

Well Walrus... I must say about your friends... I've experienced the same.  I would think that, unlike you, mine were warranted to not want to listen to me anymore.  After my first boyfriend and I broke up (we had been best friends for years), I was a fucking mess.  So depressed and fucked up taht my friends got tired of dealing with depressed Nikki... Can't say I blame them.  I got tired of myself.
In your situation though... I think that you are dealing with one of the drawbacks of being a guy - the feeling factor.  I know that me and my girlfriends sit around talking about feelings, the meaning of life, spirituality, regularly over coffee.  I believe, however, that men do not do the same.  Whereas women sit and talk about how everything makes them feel, guys are more apt to be like, "Hey dude, let's go do such-and-such".  That's my theory at least.  SO your friends being not-so-willing to listen might be a drawback of this.  It could also be that they don't know how to deal with your heartbreak, so they would rather not discuss it.  I know that it hurts, but I don't think you should take it personally.
As for your girl...
You know what, I've read her posts on here before, and she seems very self-aware.  I have a feeling that she's not lying to you when she realises she needs to be alone.  I think it's perfect that you didn't take it personally.  It's not actually about you.  The best thing I ever did for myself was be single for a year and a half.  I did my most growing, and dealt with a whole lot of shit.  I could never have done that if I was concentrating on somebody else.  Maybe she recognizes that both you and her need to be concentrating on yourselves.  If that's the case, I say keep in touch with this one because she probably is an amazing person.
And to answer your initial question... maybe she realises that you need to be on your own and work out some things for yourself.  Walrus, everyone needs some time to be completely selfish.  Fuck everybody!  And I mean that (not literally).  If we were all meant to be perfectly in harmony with one another, we'd be telepathic.  We are not telepathic.  We are all on our own journies... we can walk beside each other, but if we hold on too tight, we trip up.

Start being more selfish.  You are not in charge of anyone else's feelings but your own.

Cheers.
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Jeremy Blackman

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« Reply #205 on: August 28, 2004, 01:11:14 AM »
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Please expand on your feelings about smoking.

"Hunger is the purest sin"

classical gas

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« Reply #206 on: August 28, 2004, 05:24:58 AM »
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Quote from: ono.
If someone hasn't said it yet, you've got great eyes.  Very pretty.  Better to look at than kotte's.  Hehe.


hey, i did, but i'm a puss, and deleted it, like most my posts.  this one shall stand though.  but yeah, i beat you to it.

Chest Rockwell

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« Reply #207 on: August 28, 2004, 09:41:21 AM »
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Hey Thrindle, so I took your advice and yesterday I felt her breasts up some and then suddenly had an urge to see what she thought so i covered herself back up and pushed her away gently so I could ask, "Danielle...are you...OK...with all of this?" and then she looked at me for the longest time, apparently thinking about it. I caressed her arms a bit, to try and make her feel comfortable and let her know that I'd be fine with whatever she says. At one point she commented "that's a hard question", and then at some other point told me, quite honestly, "I feel like I should say no [her family is a rather conservative Lutheran family]...but this other half of me..." and never really answered the question until much much later that night, after I was already back home and we were on the phone. I told her that these last few weeks I've come to really love her and hate to imagine us apart, so the action is more or less just natural. She agreed, and said the thing is that she feels so comfortable with me that she doesn't mind it at all. It's just that she feels guilty afterwards when she thinks about it and her conservative family and equally conservative friends, but really thinks it natural while it's happening. I told her I would never want her to feel guilty about it, so I could stop. She still never really told me what I need to hear, a yes or no, until even later on. It was almost right before we got off the phone when she told me it was OK. So there you go, she was obviously really conflicted over the whole thing, and I had previously thought it would take her more or less 2 seconds to answer it. What really made me feel nice and gooey was when she told me that she feels ultra-comfortable with me, and that if it were any other person she probably wouldn't feel the same way. Also, she told me she loves me too, this time seriously. I told her, 'it's sad because it's probably inevitable this will have to end  eventually, but for now it just feels so...' and then she finished for me: 'nice, I know...' It was a good day, hehe.

Thrindle

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« Reply #208 on: August 28, 2004, 11:10:08 AM »
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Quote from: Chest Rockwell
I told her, 'it's sad because it's probably inevitable this will have to end  eventually, but for now it just feels so...' and then she finished for me: 'nice, I know...' It was a good day, hehe.

CHEST I COULD FUCKING SMACK YOU!  Stop living in the future with your negative story attached.  Who fucking knows what could happen?  (psst... not really mad or anything, just a little exasperated)

AND CONGRATULATIONS!  I have this massive smile on my face because you did the ballsiest thing I've heard in a while.  Isn't it funny what growing up conservative will do to you...  instinctually you feel one way, but everything is awash with guilt.

Can I say I'm "proud" of you, without you being offended?  Seriously Chest, you are the fucking man.  Good on ya!  And thanks for telling me how it went.  I sometimes wonder if my advice actually works.

Quote from: Jeremy Blackman
Please expand on your feelings about smoking.

Well Jeremy, as I write this... I'm craving one.  Here's the deal: we all know Thrindle is broke.  Seriously broke.  Paying mega interest on student line of credit (fucking shit).  So I went four days without smoking... I couldn't afford them.  Finally, with all the stress attached to money problems and lack of cigarettes, I got the best advice ever:

"Nikki, you are already so stressed.  I know you can find the money, just go buy a pack of smokes and relax.  You can quit later so stop punishing yourself now."  (Obviously GT)

He's right.  I will quit.

But smoking in general is disgusting.  It's an awful habit, and I always thought I wouldn't get hooked.  But honestly, I love my cigarettes, especially with coffee...
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Film Student

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« Reply #209 on: August 28, 2004, 11:43:26 AM »
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Quote from: Thrindle

Well Jeremy, as I write this... I'm craving one.  Here's the deal: we all know Thrindle is broke.  Seriously broke.  Paying mega interest on student line of credit (fucking shit).  So I went four days without smoking... I couldn't afford them.  Finally, with all the stress attached to money problems and lack of cigarettes, I got the best advice ever:

"Nikki, you are already so stressed.  I know you can find the money, just go buy a pack of smokes and relax.  You can quit later so stop punishing yourself now."  (Obviously GT)

He's right.  I will quit.

But smoking in general is disgusting.  It's an awful habit, and I always thought I wouldn't get hooked.  But honestly, I love my cigarettes, especially with coffee...


I managed to quit smoking over the summer, when I could actually afford to smoke, but now that the school year is back in full swing and I'm poor, I'm back up to a pack a day.  Sad.
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