Author Topic: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting  (Read 2532 times)

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Pas

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Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
« on: June 27, 2004, 10:06:45 PM »
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I've been rather quiet lately haven't I ? I discovered that my level of internet activity is inversely proportional to my level of happiness. You may welcome me back.

What does it mean when you go to bed (to litteraly sleep) with the girl of your dreams (nothing less), falling asleep while she reads out loud her diary, your head in her hair ? It means love to me... to her it means calling her ex-boyfriend the next night.

Am I not the most hopeless Intellectual Whore. Now I am in a fight with this girl, I haven't talked to her for two days... I know she's too proud to ever come back to me... should I apologize and settle for 'friends with benefits' or let her go, that is my dillema.

'Is it for her or myself that I cry'
I'm a loser - the Beatles

kotte

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Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2004, 01:04:15 AM »
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Do what hurts the most. It's usually the right way to go.

You can't degrade yourself to 'friend' when you've been that in love. At least I couldn't...after 2 days.

UncleJoey

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« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2004, 02:06:55 AM »
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Quote from: kotte
Do what hurts the most. It's usually the right way to go.

You can't degrade yourself to 'friend' when you've been that in love. At least I couldn't...after 2 days.


Agreed.

Because my opinion is obviously really important. . .
Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit . . . and Jack just left town.

classical gas

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Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2004, 03:09:59 AM »
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Ask Thrindle.

Thrindle

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« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2004, 02:08:34 PM »
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Quote from: classical gas
Ask Thrindle.


I was actually going to comment... even before I saw this.  :oops:

I think we need a little more information here.  I mean, reading a diary to someone is a really personal thing.  I've read pieces of my diary twice.  Two people.  Best friend, boyfriend.  It stops there.  So take what you can get from that.  Obviously she's got a lot of trust in you.

But here's where the hard part comes.  Why was she phoning her ex?  For real.  Was it a "get back together call", or one of those "I need to know that there is nothing between us becasue I'm scared I'm falling for somebody else" calls.  See you really have no idea why she called him.

All you do know is the negative story you've got in your head about it.  Sure your pride is hurt, but are you sure that your anger is really justified?  My advice is to explore what it is you are saying to yourself (she's using me, or she still likes him, or she just wants my dick) and go from there.  In the meantime, just try being honest with yourself and her.

Cheers.  
(And I'm not trying to sound condescending at all!!!!!!!!  I am just an advice giver... it's what I do)
Classic.

Pas

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« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2004, 02:45:32 PM »
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Yesterday I logged on at about 2am and she was online. I figured it was a nice opportunity to 'talk' to her without it being too weird, since it was night and we were obviously extremely bored.

I told her I felt like I was only 'one amongst many others' for her, which made her mad as hell. Then I told her some other stuff like that I could never go out with her because she'd certainly kill me by the way she acts with other guys. That made her cry. She says she doesn't understand herself, why she needs all this male attention. She tells me sometimes I'm really different from other guys and then I'll become really lame when I listen to my friends' advice.

From what I figure, what she wants from me is to love her and do everything for her (as I do) without her loving me back in return. Well, loving me as a friend of course.

Now, I decided that I value our relationship too much to let go of her just because she doesn't share my feelings. I'm hoping somehow this might change. I'm a fool, I know, but logic will break your heart.

Thanks Thrindle !!!

kotte

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« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2004, 03:33:03 PM »
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Quote from: Thrindle
or one of those "I need to know that there is nothing between us becasue I'm scared I'm falling for somebody else" calls.


This phone call actually exist??


Quote from: Pas Rapport
Now, I decided that I value our relationship too much to let go of her just because she doesn't share my feelings. I'm hoping somehow this might change. I'm a fool, I know, but logic will break your heart.


I'm like this too...hurts like hell. :(

Are girls and boys that different?
Are our views on relationship and love different or is it all just a problem in communcation?

Thrindle

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« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2004, 03:59:31 PM »
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Quote from: kotte
Quote from: Thrindle
or one of those "I need to know that there is nothing between us becasue I'm scared I'm falling for somebody else" calls.


This phone call actually exist??


Actually yeah it does.  It's sort of a tying up of loose ends.  I've always found it's really hard to admit that you are no longer in love with your ex.  I've always wondered if that means that they were irrelevent.  And although I know it's not true, it's hard to let go of the past.  

Quote from: Pas Rapport
Then I told her some other stuff like that I could never go out with her because she'd certainly kill me by the way she acts with other guys. That made her cry. She says she doesn't understand herself, why she needs all this male attention.

And as for her needing a lot of male attention...  at least she admits it.  It's an insecurity thing.  I know so many girls who are like that.  Just because she is who she is, does not mean that it's a reflection on you.
Classic.

kotte

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« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2004, 04:08:42 PM »
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Quote from: Thrindle
Quote from: kotte
Quote from: Thrindle
or one of those "I need to know that there is nothing between us becasue I'm scared I'm falling for somebody else" calls.


This phone call actually exist??


Actually yeah it does.  It's sort of a tying up of loose ends.  I've always found it's really hard to admit that you are no longer in love with your ex.  I've always wondered if that means that they were irrelevent.  And although I know it's not true, it's hard to let go of the past.


I'm the opposite. The past I can let go of. Time is all it takes...in my opinion.
Admitting you're in love with someone is harder for me. Saying to yourself "It's official. I'm in love with this girl." is dangerous. You are without an emotional defens. It opens a gate right to your own heart and makes it very easy for that person to hurt you.

Is this girl your Girlfriend??

Your post never says...even though it's obvious she is.

Pas

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« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2004, 05:37:09 PM »
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Oh, well in fact, she isn't. Actually, I admitted my love for her 2 weeks after we met, like 6 months ago. We stayed really good friends all this while.

Thrindle, I find your posts really insightful ... it's good.

NEON MERCURY

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« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2004, 09:54:01 PM »
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as soon as i read your first post in this thread and got to the end where you ask.........."friends w/ benefits or...____".............i    definatley suggest friends w/ benefits  route.........its the easiest way and when the big come down happens you wont be that emotionally scarred ...........friends w/ benifits is like having sex with a prostitute w/o having to lay down any money...... :wink:

go go go...........

Thrindle

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« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2004, 09:57:44 PM »
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Quote from: NEON MERCURY
i    definatley suggest friends w/ benefits  route.........its the easiest way and when the big come down happens you wont be that emotionally scarred ...........friends w/ benifits is like having sex with a prostitute w/o having to lay down any money...... :wink:

go go go...........


Friends with benefits is bullshit.  Someone always falls for the other person, and then that person is just fucking them to begin with, so the person who's in love is heartbroken, while the other person just walks away.  Friends with benefits is just a game.  It means that someone is not accountable to you.  Not accountable to your feelings, or to who you are.  They can do as they wish (as can you) but even if what they do is hurtful, you have no right to have any feeling toward it.  That's bullshit.  It's like a get-out-of-jail-free card.  It's the fucking Communism of relationships.  It's sounds good in theory... but when it's tested... people somehow become... wow... human.
Classic.

The Perineum Falcon

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Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2004, 10:02:12 PM »
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Quote from: NEON MERCURY
as soon as i read your first post in this thread and got to the end where you ask.........."friends w/ benefits or...____".............i    definatley suggest friends w/ benefits  route.........its the easiest way and when the big come down happens you wont be that emotionally scarred ...........friends w/ benifits is like having sex with a prostitute w/o having to lay down any money...... :wink:

go go go...........

I don't think it always goes so well, at least, not in my experience.

"Don't you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not!"

EDIT: I like Thrindle's post better than mine... :(
We often went to the cinema, the screen would light up and we would tremble, but also, increasingly often, Madeleine and I were disappointed. The images had dated, they jittered, and Marilyn Monroe had gotten terribly old. We were sad, this wasn't the film we had dreamed of, this wasn't the total film that we all carried around inside us, this film that we would have wanted to make, or, more secretly, no doubt, that we would have wanted to live.

NEON MERCURY

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« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2004, 10:51:14 PM »
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Quote from: Thrindle
Quote from: NEON MERCURY
i    definatley suggest friends w/ benefits  route.........its the easiest way and when the big come down happens you wont be that emotionally scarred ...........friends w/ benifits is like having sex with a prostitute w/o having to lay down any money...... :wink:

go go go...........


Friends with benefits is bullshit.  Someone always falls for the other person, and then that person is just fucking them to begin with, so the person who's in love is heartbroken, while the other person just walks away.


au contraire....

if one follows NEONs guide  to forming friends w/ benefits ..you  will be okay....

*Note: this guide applys to both male and female "friends"

1.]you must only be attracted to your "friend" when you are drunk..

why?..................b/c when things start to get serious [which we dont want] you will be more able to tell  your "friend" later b/c he/she will be ugly to you once you  sober up enough to realize the gotesque thing forming an emotional attachment w/ you.........always keep your beer goggles on.......

2.]never let your "friend" be your first
....by fiorst i mean-your first phuck......for most people when they phuck their first the emotional attachment iks usually high........we do not want this.......this leads to bad things and goes againts friends w/ benefits...........so make sure this isnt your first phuck........

3.]pay close attention to certian words or phrases like...
"i want to talk to you about something" , "do you really like me?", "i want you to meet my parents", "where do you see us in  the next couple of months"............
trust me........you got to look out for words and  nonsense talk like that........when the convosations gets emotional or "something more" you got to sober up [since most likely you will be drunl] and listen for sh*t like this........you  got to keep a sharp ear.........

4.]ALWAYS JUGGLE WHO PAYS WHAT/WHEN/ and WHERE
...its all about a balancing act...........dont pay for very much sh*t............but dont let your "friend" pay for much sh*t either...........keep it a mutual payment plan

5.]* for males only:
after a few months of reeping the benefits from your "friend" and you start to notice a bulge in the stomach.......[like pregnamcy in the early stages]............GET THE PHUCK OUT OF THERE ...................NOW!!!

6.]*for the females only:
after a few months of reeping the benefits from your "friend" and you hear these words come out of his mouth:"honey, i think you are the type of woman i could settle down with"............................GET THE PHUCK OUT OF THEIR NOW................................!!!!

7.]trump card.........
when the sh*t hits the fan and your up against the wall .........tell your "friend" that you "just found out your gay"..............problem solved...............

*remeber:
-drink alot
-be safe and use protection
-have fun
-...................and most of all remember that friends w/ behnenfits is all bout "you"..........and therefore think "what will be advantageuos for me?"


follow this guide and everythings peachy............

ElPandaRoyal

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Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
« Reply #14 on: June 29, 2004, 05:37:40 AM »
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That guide may be a complete load of fucking nonsense, but it's hilarious as hell.  :lol:
Si

 

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