Author Topic: nondescript  (Read 1439 times)

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picolas

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nondescript
« on: June 09, 2004, 02:16:38 AM »
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format gets messed up when i copy and paste. the end.

FADE IN.

INT. OUTSIDE A TOILET

DERN pushes the CAMERA into a BATHROOM with his chest. No pushing.

DERN

NO, YOUíRE THE ASSHOLE!
YOUíRE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE!
YOUíRE THE FUCKING ASSóFUCK!
FUCK. YOU. ASSFUCKING.. SHITHOLE!

DERN takes a second to breathe. HE was speaking to a MIRROR.

HE begins writing what he just said onto some PAPER as SOMEONE ELSE enters.

CUT TO:

INT. A NONDESCRIPT OFFICE SPACE

DERN enters the OFFICE. He walks with tree-trunk steps, heading straight for MR. GRETLER as he throws the PAPER into a TRASH CAN without looking.

    DERN

Mr. Gretler.. youíre-

GRETLER (cutting him off)

Yes?

DERN

Ye- youíre the asshole.

GRETLER

What?

DERN

You.. are.. youíre the assho...

Beat.

DERN realizes his mistake.

GRETLER

Are youó

DERN (cutting him off)

Youíre THE asshole! Ah..Haha!
THE.. asshole!

GRETLER

Are-

DERN (cutting him off)

THE ASSHOLE! EVERYBODY LOOK! HAHAHA!

PEOPLE are gathering around them now.

DERN (contí)

ITíS THE ASSHOLE HIMSELF! GRETLER!
WHAT A.. WHAT A GREAT GUY! HUH? EVERYBODY?!
SUPER!

DERN claps.

NOBODY claps.

GRETLER

I think y-

DERN

TH-THIS MAN IS.. HELPING us! Do things we
would never do! The company! Before he was here
we werenít off so well and now that he.. is weíre
doing just as well if not better.. as others! Donít
try to stop this guy! Oooh! Haha. Well.

Most of the PEOPLE have left by now.

GRETLER

Clear out your desk.

DERN

DAMMIT! Not even-

GRETLER

No. Clear out your desk.

DERN

DAMMIT.

GRETLER

Towards the end I was thinking
about not, but then you didnít
really follow through.

DERN

..Yeah.. I know.

GRETLER

Itís okay.

DERN

...Yeah.

BUSTERSON (off screen)

GRETLER!

GRETLER

Yes, Mr. Busterson?

BUSTERSON enters the picture.

BUSTERSON

Were you about to fire this man?!

GRETLER

..I just did, sir.

BUSTERSON

ASSHOLE! YOUíRE OUTTA HERE!

GRETLER

But sir, he w-

BUSTERSON

BUT GET OUT, GRETLER!

GRETLER runs off, crying.

DERN

Wow! So does this mean I-

BUSTERSON

No. Youíre still fired. I just
really wanted to fire you first is all.
Youíre the worst volley ball net designer
Iíve ever seen.

DERN

Uhh.. This company makes novelty light
switches that fart when you flick them
off, though. Actually the volleyball
part is downstairs.

BUSTERSON

Really?

DERN

I think so. It would explain all
these novelty light switches that fart
when you switch them off
lying around here.

BUSTERSON

Damn. Well shit. Sorry.

DERN

So Iím not fired?

BUSTERSON

I.. I guess not.. I guess I just..
worked my way up the chain of
command to get here.. 40 years working..
doing something I thought I loved...
but that love.. turned into a lie.

Beat.

BUSTERSON (contí)

I-Iím sorry, Iíll get out of here..
I need time..

DERN

Donít leave, sir!

BUSTERSON

Why shouldnít I?! I thought I could
help my niece play volleyball just a
little bit better! Now Iím.. 45 years old!
Nothing!

DERN

Oh. Now I get it. What a shame!

BUSTERSON

Yep. Yep. So I resign. You
can take over if you want.
I donít care.

DERN

Cool!

OmegaSlacker

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nondescript
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2005, 03:14:10 AM »
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either I didn't get a damn bit about it, or that that was the worst thing I've ever read (and I've read my own stuff, damn it!)
When I was just a baby, my momma told me, "Son, always be a good boy, don't ever play with guns." But I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

Pubrick

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nondescript
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2005, 03:24:59 AM »
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that was my favorite lynch thing.
under the paving stones.

picolas

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nondescript
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2005, 09:21:48 PM »
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Quote from: OmegaSlacker
either I didn't get a damn bit about it, or that that was the worst thing I've ever read (and I've read my own stuff, damn it!)

what was one specific thing you didn't get?

RegularKarate

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nondescript
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2005, 10:52:50 PM »
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I think Busterson should have been Gretler... Dern is okay, but the lightswitches need to go.

 

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