Author Topic: You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....  (Read 28028 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

boombanglarrabee

  • The Road of Trials
  • **
  • Posts: 89
  • Respect: +1
You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« on: October 21, 2003, 08:04:40 PM »
0
You enrolled at NYU Film School and dropped out 2 days later just so you could have something in common with Paul.

You bought both Fiona Apple CD’s and you hate her music

You bought a DVD player just so you could watch the behind the scenes stuff in Magnolia

You are seriously considering moving from your hometown to the San Fernando Valley

You know what a 484 is

You hang out at Art’s Deli

You now smoke Camels and drink Diet Cokes by the boatload

You have rented most of the recommendations mentioned on ptanderson.com

You know who Greg Marriotti is

Not only do you know who Greg Mariotti is, you frequently correspond with him via email.

You break out in a cold sweat when you imagine what you’d do if he shut down his site

You know who Bumble Ward, Joanne Sellar, Dan Lupi and John Lesher are

You will only refer to Hard Eight as “Sydney” and correct other people when they make the mistake

You own the shooting script for Hard Eight.

You know that the above was a trick- the Hard Eight shooting script was never released.

You started shopping at the 99 cent Store after Punch Drunk Love came out

Every other word out of your mouth is “Fuck”

You can list every scene the number 82 is hidden in in Magnolia

You can list more than 5 of the movies he has mentioned in various interviews

You know the box office tally for each of his movies

You hate Burt Reynolds

You hate Rysher and are glad they went out of business

You eat Healthy Choice Chicken Teriyaki for dinner

You knew all along who “Atticus Jones” was

You know what the X4 Project was.

You are anxiously awaiting the “X5” Project

You hounded all your friends to see Punch Drunk Love and wouldn’t talk to them until they did.

When people complain that Magnolia was too long, you’re quick to point out that Boogie Nights was only 30 minutes shorter.

You now stalk Philip Seymour Hoffman because you’ve noticed he’s the only actor to have appeared in all 4 of PTA’s films.

You will only refer to Paul as “PTA” and roll your eyes in disgust when people ask, “Who?”

You almost socked a person for getting Paul’s name confused with Wes Anderson.

You’re about to get fired because all you do at work is play the “Pudding Dash”

You own a blue suit.

Jeremy Blake is your favorite artist.

You know what a “Scopitone” is.

Your favorite shows right now are “Luis” and “Threat Matrix”

When PTA didn’t get the Oscar, you wrote a nasty letter to the Academy

You saw Camp and can’t wait until the DVD comes out

On vacation in LA, you decided to go to Largo

You have read “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” and “A Conspiracy of Paper”- just in case.

You’d rather go to Reno than Vegas.

You rented “While the Cat’s Away” just so you could see what the actress in it looked like

You have a running count of how many reporters have asked Paul about frogs in Magnolia

You’re getting nervous because you know that right after Boogie Nights, he was told, “Your next 3 movies are green lit,” and he’s about to make #3.

You were Rollergirl for Halloween.

You were Rollergirl for Halloween and you’re a guy.

You’re kind of sad there won’t be a Boogie Nights 2

You frequently send hate mail to Kevin Smith

Even so, you are dying to know who his doctor is

You bought The Dirk Diggler Story and Cigarettes & Coffee off eBay.

You threw it away because you felt guilty

You expected Clementine’s Loop to be in Punch Drunk Love and were shocked when it wasn’t.

You read all 72 pages of Jessica Redenbach’s paper and since you took issue with some of her points, you decided to write your own paper in response

You preferred the title “The Rose” and wonder why Paul changed it

You have called the Seduce and Destroy hotline

You slowed down that shot in Magnolia because you HAD to  know what books Stanley was reading in the library

You then checked them out and read them

You bought doughnuts last December and realized you asked the person behind the counter if they were decorated “for the Christmas”

You know what game show Paul was a PA on

You know the correct pronunciation of “Rajskub”

You cried when Greg shut down the message board

You can’t stop wondering if “Flagpole Special” will ever be released

You keep asking your friend in Vermont which cabin is Bill Macy’s so you can see where most of Magnolia was written

When people ask you how you are, you tell them you’re very food.

You own 2 copies of every soundtrack- one for your house, one for your car

You can't remember what color your walls are painted since every movie poster he's made is plastered all over your walls.

You borrowed money so you could fly to the closest  Q & A session with Paul since you live in a small town that you know he’ll never come to

Weak2ndAct

  • The Master of Two Worlds
  • *****
  • Posts: 1153
  • Self Portrait
  • Respect: +9
You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2003, 08:32:15 PM »
0
Lordy, that's a shameful list.  Thankfully, I only qualify for half of them  :wink:
Quote
You own the shooting script for Hard Eight.

You know that the above was a trick- the Hard Eight shooting script was never released.

Not exactly.  I have the script, it's get-able.

MacGuffin

  • Admin
  • *****
  • Posts: 22985
  • Respect: +639
You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2003, 08:42:59 PM »
0
Quote from: Weak2ndAct

Quote
You own the shooting script for Hard Eight.

You know that the above was a trick- the Hard Eight shooting script was never released.

Not exactly.  I have the script, it's get-able.


Yep:
http://xixax.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=683
“Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” - Andy Warhol


Skeleton FilmWorks

Find Your Magali

  • The Master of Two Worlds
  • *****
  • Posts: 1042
  • Respect: +14
Re: You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2003, 09:00:14 PM »
0
Quote from: boombanglarrabee
...something absolutely brilliant...


There ought to be automatic entry into the Xixax Hall of Fame for posts like this.  :-D

cine

  • Pretttttyyy, Pretttyyyyy Pretty Good
  • Admin
  • *****
  • Posts: 5553
  • Respect: +281
You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2003, 10:17:22 PM »
0
There's nothing about jerking off to pictures of him at Cannes. Good. I'm safe.

Cecil

  • Guest
You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2003, 10:20:22 PM »
0
atticus jones, really?

boombanglarrabee

  • The Road of Trials
  • **
  • Posts: 89
  • Respect: +1
thank you!
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2003, 10:24:33 PM »
0
Thanks, FindYourMagali!  

PS I'VE gotta be pretty obsessed to sit down and come up with this list, but hey.... it's all in good fun.  I'll try to think of more.

And Cinephile, that was hilarious.

aclockworkjj

  • The Master of Two Worlds
  • *****
  • Posts: 3055
  • Respect: +1
You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2003, 10:28:38 PM »
0
Quote from: Cecil
atticus jones, really?

haha.....piff.

boombanglarrabee

  • The Road of Trials
  • **
  • Posts: 89
  • Respect: +1
some more
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2003, 11:02:30 PM »
0
When things are slow, Greg calls YOU for news on Paul

You drove by an elementary school and pulled over when you saw a sign that said “PTA meeting,” and had to remind yourself that it’s not the same thing.  You stuck around a while just to make sure.

You and your friends play a drinking game to all of Paul’s movies and take shots whenever the John C. Reilly or Philip Seymour Hoffman are onscreen.

You watch his movies while holding the shooting script in your hand, noting all discrepancies.

You applied for an internship at New Line.

When you got your cell phone, you insisted on getting a number in the 818-area code- and you live in Florida.

You’ve sent your headshots to his casting director but you’re not even an actor.

You’ve joined fan clubs for Aimee Mann, Beck, Quentin Tarantino and Michael Penn just because you know they are some of his friends.  You constantly email their fans asking if they have any stories about Paul.

You taught yourself the choreography to the dance scene in Boogie Nights.

You’re taking voice lessons to prepare if he ever does that musical.

Your child’s first word was “Ghoulardi”

You are eager to spot someone’s cheek leak.

You can’t say yes to every one of these items, and it’s pissing you off.

You tried to pitch “What Do Kids Know” to CBS.

When staying in hotels, you either give the name “Dirk Diggler” or “Amber Waves,” depending on your gender.

You thought about getting a pair of lovebirds and named them Barry and Lena, but changed your mind when you heard Paul hates birds.

You’ve watched Magnolia so many times, you were actually able to finally understand what Dixon said in his rap (without the words in front of you!!!)

Pink Dot will no longer deliver to your house because you called them to ask for peanut butter, Camel Lights, white bread, Swank and Barely Legal over 20 times.

You might transfer to Boston University next semester just so you can take that class being taught on Paul and 3 other directors.  You decide to get the syllabus way ahead of time so you'll only be in class on the days they talk about Paul.

You carry a digital camera with you in case it ever rains frogs.

eward

  • The Master of Two Worlds
  • *****
  • Posts: 2833
  • Respect: +20
Re: some more
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2003, 11:04:33 PM »
0
Quote from: boombanglarrabee


You drove by an elementary school and pulled over when you saw a sign that said “PTA meeting,” and had to remind yourself that it’s not the same thing.  You stuck around a while just to make sure.



hahahahaha
"Do you laugh at jealousy?"

"No, I don't even laugh at seasickness! I happen to regard jealousy as the seasickness of passion."

cine

  • Pretttttyyy, Pretttyyyyy Pretty Good
  • Admin
  • *****
  • Posts: 5553
  • Respect: +281
You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2003, 11:38:16 PM »
0
"When you go to a casino, you only gamble precisely the way Sydney taught John."

boombanglarrabee

  • The Road of Trials
  • **
  • Posts: 89
  • Respect: +1
some more
« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2003, 12:21:03 AM »
0
You’re still paying off the credit card bill from the impromptu trip to Cannes you took a year and a half ago.

You told your boy/ girlfriend you wanted to smash her face in.  You wondered why s/he called the police.

You watched Minority Report enough times that you finally found PTA in it.  While it was still in the theaters.  (They thought they could slip it by you?  You’d know the back of that head ANY day!)  And you still bought the DVD.

You keep calling the cable company and telling them you’re going to move if they don’t add FX to their lineup so you can see the TV edit of Boogie Nights.  You’re tired of having to borrow it from your cousin who lives across town.

You check ptanderson.com more than you check your email.

You’ve looked in the phone book to see if there are any “Paul T. Anderson’s” in your town.  You’ve called them.  

You’ve got a co-worker named Denise who is about to slap a sexual harassment charge on you if you call her “Denise the Piece” ONE more time.

You are a man who refers to your package as your “big, fat sausage-a!”

You don’t know why Avi and Solomon were so freaked out when Donnie wanted to get braces.  Anything for your idol, right?  

You’re taking harmonium lessons. You get pissed when people ask you if it’s a small piano.  

You went to a casino and wouldn’t play until you got a rate card.

Gold Trumpet

  • The Master of Three Worlds
  • *****
  • Posts: 5783
  • Respect: +166
You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« Reply #12 on: October 22, 2003, 12:43:57 AM »
0
Just a cool thread. boombanglarrabee, thanks.

~rougerum

prophet

  • The Meeting with the Goddess
  • ***
  • Posts: 426
  • Respect: +12
You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« Reply #13 on: October 22, 2003, 12:45:13 AM »
0
"You know who Greg Marriotti is" he probably is a little annoyed by me.
We gonna do a little Q&A Mr. Worley, and at the risk of sounding redundant please... make your answers Genuine...

aclockworkjj

  • The Master of Two Worlds
  • *****
  • Posts: 3055
  • Respect: +1
You might be obsessed with Paul Thomas Anderson if....
« Reply #14 on: October 22, 2003, 12:51:27 AM »
0
ok...so BOOM is TOTALLY OBSESSED!!!!!!!!...

j/k

 

DMCA & Copyright | Terms & Conditions | Privacy Policy