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samsong

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on: April 09, 2018, 10:43:06 PM
couldve sworn there was a thread for this... canít seem to find it now with the minimal effort i put into locating it. 

anyway, do not see this.  itís criminally, even malliciously  dumb, to the point where i wished movies didnt exist so this travesty couldnt be unleashed upon humanity.  to quote our dear reynolds woodcock, everyone involved with this movie should be spanked in public, hung, drawn and quartered. 

the worst movie of the year, and i saw tomb raider in theaters.  the thought that i could see something i hate more in the near future makes me want to commit seppukku.  im hard pressed to think of a movie i found more deplorable, ever.  itís like seeing wild wild west when it was released and having the crushing realization as a child that movies could suck.





Jeremy Blackman

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Reply #1 on: April 10, 2018, 09:02:31 AM
97% on RT


"Hunger is the purest sin"


©brad

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Reply #2 on: April 10, 2018, 11:42:55 AM
couldve sworn there was a thread for this... canít seem to find it now with the minimal effort i put into locating it. 

anyway, do not see this.  itís criminally, even malliciously  dumb, to the point where i wished movies didnt exist so this travesty couldnt be unleashed upon humanity.  to quote our dear reynolds woodcock, everyone involved with this movie should be spanked in public, hung, drawn and quartered. 

the worst movie of the year, and i saw tomb raider in theaters.  the thought that i could see something i hate more in the near future makes me want to commit seppukku.  im hard pressed to think of a movie i found more deplorable, ever.  itís like seeing wild wild west when it was released and having the crushing realization as a child that movies could suck.

Yeah but you hate everything. 


samsong

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Reply #3 on: April 10, 2018, 12:49:02 PM


Tictacbk

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Reply #4 on: April 14, 2018, 02:25:29 PM
I didn't hate this movie as much as you. In fact, I enjoyed seeing it in the theater. My audience was very engaged, and it was a good time. Sure it didn't make much sense, but I went in expecting that.

I am really glad you hated it so much though, because your review is amazing. Particularly this:

itís like seeing wild wild west when it was released and having the crushing realization as a child that movies could suck.

 :bravo:


samsong

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Reply #5 on: April 15, 2018, 03:54:17 AM
came as no surprise to see michael bay listed as a producer when the credits finally rolled.  it at least provided some sort of an answer as to how something this stupid could exist.   i was reminded of the bit from ben affleck's commentary on armageddon where he talks about asking bay why it was easier to train drillers to be astronauts rather than the other way around, and bay telling him to

shut
the
fuck
up. 



COINCIDENCE?!?!?!

if you haven't seen/heard the clip i'm talking about, here:



it's the best thing affleck's ever done. 

fuck this movie.


eward

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Reply #6 on: April 22, 2018, 09:15:10 PM
Iím with Samsong, this movie is FUCKING DUMB. Yet all this praise... Audience loved it too. Once again I find myself on the outside, scratching my head.
"Do you laugh at jealousy?"

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eward

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Reply #7 on: April 23, 2018, 06:43:14 PM
"Do you laugh at jealousy?"

"No, I don't even laugh at seasickness! I happen to regard jealousy as the seasickness of passion."


tpfkabi

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Reply #8 on: May 07, 2018, 11:09:06 PM
I'm not the biggest on Signs, but this feels like a condensed reboot of that movie to me. I'm really surprised this point did not come up in the same way people would say a movie like Life 2017 (the space movie) was like Alien, etc.
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Jeremy Blackman

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Reply #9 on: September 13, 2018, 12:18:30 AM
Yikes, don't really get the hate for this. Can you guys provide any details? Maybe I can be convinced.

Sure, I can think of 2 or 3 moments that didn't make sense, and I definitely got some echoes of Signs, but it's certainly not as braindead as you're suggesting. I thought it was an enjoyable thriller.
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BB

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Reply #10 on: January 08, 2019, 08:45:07 AM
Oh wow, y'all weren't kidding. Reasonably well made but almost unbelievably dumb.

Finally caught up with John Carpenter's Christine. How come nobody talks about it? Genuinely, a masterpiece. I've always liked Carpenter, but holy cow. Wringing a really fun, entertaining, and tense movie out of that premise should warrant an Academy Award. It's a lesson in what directing actually is.

This movie is the opposite. A dopey premise executed with half-cooked, straight-faced solemnity. Just doesn't inhabit the world of its characters at all. Nothing they do makes a lick of sense. The Academy Award consideration is beyond me.