Author Topic: XIXAX collective script  (Read 2794 times)

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Reelist

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XIXAX collective script
« on: July 23, 2014, 09:58:25 AM »
+1
So I wrote this using celtx for the first time and I'm not familiar with it at all, so I couldn't figure out the page count on this or how to post it in it's original format. This should do though, right? It's at least legible. Anywho, have at it folks.




INT. BEDROOM DAY

BRAD, a mid 30's White male lays in bed, wrapped up in his sheets on a hot and muggy July afternoon. A RUSTY FAN oscillates loudly and through the curtains we see children playing in the street. Outside of the window, a RED HONDA pulls into frame. The 'Screech' of the brakes jerks Brad awake and suddenly he is out of bed, frantically dressing himself as empty beer bottles 'clang' on the floor.

INT. KITCHEN DAY

The screen door swings open and SHEILA, a blonde woman in her early 30's walks in with a GROCERY BAG on her arm. She plops it on the table along with her keys. BRAD walks in buttoning his DRESS SHIRT, doing his best to feign a smile.

                            SHEILA
             I thought you had an interview.

                            BRAD
             It was postponed. I'm heading out there now.

                           SHEILA
             At 3' o clock? it'll be close to 5 when you get there.

                            BRAD
             That's the only time he could pencil me in.

                           SHEILA
             OK... I was going to make dinner, but if you're going to be out all night...

                           BRAD
              cook it anyway. I'll grab something on the road

BRAD leans over and kisses SHEILA on the forehead as she rifles through her shopping bag. She squirms   

                          SHEILA         
                          Didn't you shave?

                          BRAD
                          I'll do it in the car.

                          SHEILA
                          You know, you had all day to prepare for this. If you were gonna wait until the last minute, I could've used your help earlier.
                         
                          BRAD
                          I just got caught up making some changes to my resume.

                          SHEILA
                          like what?

                          BRAD
                          The dates I worked for the car dealership, and…other stuff.

Sheila looks at him quizzically, not breaking eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time.
                           
                          BRAD
                          heh, well I better get going if I wanna beat traffic.

Sheila just stares at him wordlessly as he walks out the door. Looking down at the food spread out on the table, she's suddenly lost her appetite.








You can go to places in the world with pudding. That. Is. Funny.

03

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2014, 01:34:02 PM »
+1
CLOSE UP
Brads hand goes through a change drawer inside the car, throwing cigarette butts out of the way and gathering all the silver coins.

INT. BRADS CAR
Brad awkwardly counts change in his palm, frustrated.
The camera pans slowly to the next door neighbours car, as Brad slowly glances over.

INT. NEIGHBOURS CAR
Brad quickly rummages the vehicle for change, looking up sporadically. He stops suddenly and looks down.

CLOSE UP
An unidentifiable badge underneath some random papers in the passenger seat. It appears to have a bloody thumbprint on it.

INT. KITCHEN DAY
Sheila is dispensing pet food from cans into two seperate bowls and places them on the floor. She individually lets in a cat into one area of the kitchen, then releases a dog from another, trying to make a barrier with her body so the dog goes to it's food instead of the cat. She fails and there is brief growling as the cats runs away. She follows it.

SHEILA
Petunia! Stop it! It's just the dog, she doesn't care about you.

INT. BEDROOM DAY
Sheila glances around the room then looks underneath the bed.

SHEILA
...Are you kidding me...

Sheila finds a large amount of empty bottles underneath the bed, concealed clumsily with a sheet and two shirts that she pulls out angrily as bottles cascade across the floor. The cat runs by and inspects one bottle then runs quickly out of frame as Sheila clutches her face.

EXT. BRADS FRONT YARD
Brad runs into frame carrying objects in his shirt like a hammock, looking over his shoulder, then slows, looking for Sheila in the window, ducking as not to be seen. He gets into the car and puts it in gear, rolling backward before he cranks it, then drives out of frame.

INT. BRADS CAR
Brad is breathing heavily, sweating. The camera pans to the passenger seat revealing a gun, a badge, and two cantelopes.


polkablues

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2014, 01:56:11 PM »
+1
EXT. CHINATOWN ALLEY - NIGHT

RED TAIL LIGHTS reflect off the wet cement from a mid-range sedan idling at the end of the alley.

Across the street, an exposed light bulb casts flickering illumination over a nondescript metal door, recessed in the brick wall.

INT. SEDAN - CONTINUOUS

Brad fidgets in the driver's seat. He glances at the clock on the dash: 9:45.

                   BRAD
          Come on, come on....

He leans forward, surveying the empty street.

Frustrated, he throws the car into gear and taps the gas. As the car lurches forward, a MAN steps from around the corner. Brad slams on the brakes, stopping just short of hitting him.

                   BRAD
          Jesus!

Brad flicks on the headlights. The man (PENG), Chinese, 20s, shields his eyes with one hand and gives Brad a middle finger with the other.

Brad takes a deep breath to calm himself. He unlocks the passenger door, and Peng climbs in the car.

                    PENG
          The fuck did I ever do to you?

                    BRAD
          I'm sorry! I... I didn't see you.

                    PENG
          Yeah, yeah. Fucking white drivers, man.

                    BRAD
          Do you have any idea what time it is?

Peng throws him a hard look.

                    PENG
          These things happen when they happen.

                    BRAD
          What do I tell my wife? I keep making up these stories, and sooner or later, she--

                     PENG
          Do I seem like I give a shit about your marriage problems?

Brad shuts up.

                     PENG
         You need therapy, you go see a therapist. You need to get inside that door....

Peng nods in the direction of the metal door. Brad stares at it, a look somewhere between fear and longing.

                     PENG
          Well, you know.

Peng holds out his hand. Brad looks at it, confused.

Annoyed, Peng clears his throat. Brad's brain kicks back in.

                      BRAD
          Shit. Of course. Sorry.

Brad leans over and awkwardly reaches past Peng to dig around in the glove compartment. After a moment, he pulls out a small package covered in brown paper. Peng grabs it from him, pulls something from his pocket, and presses it into Brad's hand.

                    PENG
          Pleasure doing business with you. Have a nice life.

Peng abruptly exits the car and disappears down the alley.

Brad sits in silence for a moment, staring at the door across the street. There are paint markings on it from where stenciled letters used to be, but they're too worn away to read anymore.

Brad looks down at his hand. It's clenched so tightly, the knuckles are bone-white. With great apparent effort, he forces his fist to relax and open, revealing what's inside:

A key.
Now you're in the *spoiler* place.

polkablues

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2014, 02:00:22 PM »
0
My segment was written concurrently with 03's, hence the lack of badge, gun, and cantaloupe continuity.
Now you're in the *spoiler* place.

03

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2014, 03:38:34 PM »
0
haha i figured. so how do you want to go from here. i can make it work

Reelist

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2014, 04:52:04 PM »
0
WTF IS BEHIND THAT DOOR?!?!!!?!!!?
You can go to places in the world with pudding. That. Is. Funny.

polkablues

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2014, 05:01:26 PM »
+2
I don't know, that's somebody else's problem to figure out.

-JJ Abrams
Now you're in the *spoiler* place.

03

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2014, 01:16:44 AM »
+1
INT. BRADS CAR
Brad looks away from the key and into the backseat where we see a cloth shopping bag with the butt of a pistol sticking out slightly.

CLOSE UP
Brad slides the pistol behind his belt buckle, haphazardly.

INT. BRADS CAR
A side profile shot shows Brad fumbling with a cantalope. knocking on  it and looking up nervously every so often.

CLOSE UP
BRADS HANDS
The cantalope opens in a straight seam around its circumference.
Instead of seeds in the center is a large bag of cocaine.

JUMP CUT
Brad breathing, coughing, choking for a second as seen from the hood of the vehicle.

EXT. ALLEY
The cantalope explodes, discarded on the pavement.

CLOSE UP
The second cantalope is twisted open to reveal many rounds of ammunition for the gun

EXT. ALLEY
The second cantalope is discarded, a cat runs off in the background.

ZOOM IN
On the door as Brad puts his ear against it. We hear nothing.
Brads inserts the key and the door creaks open.

N

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2014, 03:25:34 AM »
+2
INT. DINGY HALLWAY
FULL FRAME ON METALLIC DOOR.
The mellow sound of island music emanates from behind the camera. Brad enters, leaving the door slightly ajar behind him. We pan as Brad cautiously makes his way to the end of the hall. A burly, yet surprisingly kempt security guard (DIRK) is leaning against the wall beside a beaded doorway. Seeing this, Brad relaxes a little.

             DIRK
  (cheerful)
     Evening Brad.

             BRAD
     Evening.

Dirk points behind brad.

             DIRK
     You left your car on.

Brad ignores him, heading for the next room.

             DIRK
     Some guy came 'round the last place looking for you.

Brad stops dead in his tracks and turns back to Dirk.

             DIRK (CONT'D)
     Yeah! I was surprised, just some kid. He asked for you by name.

             BRAD
     Seriously? What did he look like? Was he black?

             DIRK
     No no. It was just some kid.

             BRAD
     And you're sure he wasn't black?

             DIRK
    Could've been Hispanic maybe.

Brad buries his face in his hands. He looks like he hasn't showered in days, his mop of hair parting to reveal a moist lens of sweat covering his forehead.

             BRAD
     Oh god...

             DIRK
     You were late, so Kaden decided to start without you. If you head in now you should be able to sit the second round.

             BRAD
     Forget that! Just tell me more about this black guy.

             DIRK
     You're a mess.

             BRAD
     Whatever...

Brad wipes his hands on his trousers and awkwardly fumbles around in his shirt pocket.

             DIRK
     Here.

Dirk lights a smoke and holds it out. Ignoring this, Brad retrieves a glass vial from his pocket and dollops a mound of cocaine on his wrist.

INT. SEDAN
PUSH IN ON BRAD'S GUN, DROPPED ON THE FLOOR.
V.O. Brad snorts loudly.



If this is terrible and somehow ruins all the fun let me know and I'll remove it (I really don't mind)

Jeremy Blackman

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2014, 11:35:50 AM »
0
If you're about to write/post something, post a message saying "NEXT" to reserve your spot.

Then reply with a new post. You or an admin can delete your "next" post later.
"Hunger is the purest sin"

jenkins

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2014, 01:25:44 PM »
+1
next

i'm going to read this^, then dick around on the internet, then at some nearby point i'll supposedly add a thingy
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Jeremy Blackman

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2014, 01:46:29 PM »
+1
It should be a same day type of thing, at the very least. Get it done! No excuses!
"Hunger is the purest sin"

polkablues

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #12 on: July 24, 2014, 04:48:58 PM »
0
Yeah, I think in general, you should only call next if you're actually working on it at that moment.

And holy shit, I bet Brad's going to wish he hadn't forgotten that gun in the car.
Now you're in the *spoiler* place.

jenkins

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2014, 05:02:52 PM »
+3
i wrote three pages! i'm sharing all of them. i took a long time for various reasons, but one of them is this was something else then it was something else then it was this. i enjoyed the process. i took so long andso i won't always say next

it's kinda like there's a tv show from each poster/director. oh i hope xixax enjoys this. here's what i have happen:

EXT. ALLEY -- DAY

The metallic fucking door, glowing, pulsing, holy shit (20secs w/electronic music).

INT. BATHROOM -- DAYER

The key in Brad's hands.

Brad's eyes.

       BRAD (V.o.)
        I can't remember what this key is for.

Brad places the key in his pocket.

      BRAD (V.O.)
        Mystery.

EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE -- MORE DAY

Helicopter shot of the convenience store area,

the helicopter descends and the store becomes bigger,

Brad walks toward the store,

with pieces of cantaloupe in each hand,

he throws away the cantaloupe in a trash can.

Wipes his hands on the legs of his pants.

Brushes his hair.

Stares around at people.

Walks back to his car

as the helicopter ascends

and the convenience store becomes smaller again.

INT. BRAD/SHEILA HOUSE -- MAJOR DAY TIME (EVENINGISH)

A dog.

Brad.

A cat.

Sheila.

      SHEILA
        I'm listening.

The room: all of them.

A cat walks over to Sheila and Sheila pets the cat.

       BRAD
        But. Do you?

Sheila pets the cat.

Brad nods.

       SHEILA
         I think so.

Brad stands akimbo. He concentrates for a moment while mid-distance gazing.

Brad nods.

       SHEILA
         Wait what you were you..okay nevermind. Perfect.

Sheila pets the cat for a beat. Brad stares at his hands.

       SHEILA
          Ok keep going. Please.

INT. BIZ OFFICE - FLASHBACK TO EARLIER SAME DAY

THREE STANDING PEOPLE IN SUITS and SEVEN INTERVIEW-DRESSED PEOPLE IN EAMES CHAIRS.

Brad, in the doorframe, with his head leaning in the room.

        BRAD
           I quit.

Brad points at the people in suits one a time and really fast, then he waves his hand over the people in the Eames chairs, and he turns to slam the door.

        SUIT PERSON
          So no -- no one in this room has been hired yet. Oops.

INT. BRAD/SHEILA HOUSE - CONTINUOUS WITH PREVIOUS

Brad, super bummed, chin downward, eyes on his feet, twists his hands in his lap.

        BRAD
           "That guy has a lot of nerve."

Brad flaps his hand.

         BRAD
            Is probably what the manager said. But they were like really upset about how late to the job meeting I was. Furious. I was terrible, so terrible to them. And I asked them--

(PUSH-IN ON CLOSEUP OF BRAD)

        BRAD
           What if you had a customer who was coming in for a meeting with you at 3, but the customer didn't arrive until 430? Would you tell the customer they didn't follow the laws of time and responsibility and adult world andbut what I mean is would you kick the customer out and say you couldn't help them? Or would you make the room in your life to help the person? I asked that. To the receptionist. Who explained that the meeting was in the other room and I should share my feelings with the managers. Then I went intoroom and did what I told you. I'm quite positive I won't get the job at all.

Sheila's tender face, so full of concentration and care and curisoity. She rubs the back of Brad's head by tussling his hair.

(PUSH-IN ON CLOSEUP OF SHEILA)

        SHEILA
            I got a plan. I got a damn good plan. I got us a twelve pack and a pint of vodka and I'm like 82% sure we'll feel better soon. Don't worry. I think you're marvelous. I adore you. Hey did you mention you had a gun in a cantaloupe?
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Drenk

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Re: XIXAX collective script
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2014, 07:21:05 PM »
0
Next.
I'm so many people.

 

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