Author Topic: Xixax Fight Club  (Read 3917 times)

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Pas

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Xixax Fight Club
« on: October 01, 2010, 04:39:17 PM »
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I wasn't trolling I was making a joke

You're always/often making these one-liner jabs and none feel particularly weak...

This could be said about any movie ever Pozer.

:therethere: fixed

This thread derail reminds me of that time I went to a party with my high school buddies. It had been a couple years since I saw some of them and they started talking about a guy I didn't like back in the days. Let's call him Phil, cause that's his real name. I don't hate the guy, just don't like his face. He never did anything wrong to me. "Haha Pas you're such a pussy you always talk shit about Phil and when you see him you act all nice." I was getting pretty humiliated by that.

I got drunker and drunker and then someguy said : ''Let's go at Steven's place, he's throwing a party for his dorm mate. Hey Pas! Phil's gonna be there! Ha ha ha!" So me being pretty wasted at this point I go: "Oh yeah? I'll kick his fucking ass!!!"

Little did I know, me saying that created a huge wave of enthusiasm to go to that party. You have to consider that I weigh like 120 pounds, and this guy too, so a skinny guy fight is always weird and interesting.

When we got there I ignored him at first and people came to me and went : "When are you gonna go kick his ass ha ha ha!" I kept drinking, getting ridiculously drunk. I walk to the bathroom and see him. I'll try and translate it as best as I can... my lines are said with some kind of weird fake anger:

"Yo Phil, you think I like you don't you?
- *Smiling in a nice way* Yeah Pas you're a funny dude I like you, want a beer man?
- Yeah I'll take your fucking beer!
- Haha okay man I'll get you one.
- Yeah get me one.
*** he comes back 15 seconds later, my friends are all laughing ***
- Here you go, cheers.
- Fuck you I'm not hitting your beer. You think you're pretty cool don't you?
- Haha what's up with you man, chill a bit, want a smoke?
- Yeah I want a fucking smoke.
*** He lights it ***
- Chill out man, I like you okay. What are you up to these days?
*** I push him ***
What the fuck man! Chill! This is Laure's party man don't cause shit.
- You're the shit! *** push him harder ***
- Haha man you are so drunk go sit on the couch
- Go sit on the couch.

I pushed him a little harder on the couch. My friends will tell you that during this whole dialog I was SHAKING LIKE CRAZY out of nervousness. So by then he was kinda pissed but not really yet. He thought it was a weird joke. So I had to take his little railroad driver cap and throw it out the balcony (4th floor) to really piss him off. He takes me by the shoulders and we get on the floor and roll around. This is some pathetic shit, don't imagine it like it makes sense or like there is something to understand. Some chick actually separates us, that's how weak we both are. Then, my crazier friend comes out of nowhere and punches him HARD right in the face. He flies at least a couple feet back. We get thrown out of the party. All my friends I went there with start fighting each other. Except me and the girlfriends, of course. It's 4AM and some lady screams out a random door: "I CALLED THE COPS!" so we go home calmly like nothing ever happened. What a night.

Stefen

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Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2010, 05:07:23 PM »
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HAHAHA.

It cracks me up how nobody on xixax knows how to throw fists. I include myself in this (http://xixax.com/index.php?topic=6386.0) I don't know what it is. We're just not a fighting bunch. I can picture a lot of our fights are of the variety where they get broken up quickly and we're pleading with our boys, "Let me go! LET ME GO! I'll kill him!" even though we're secretly hoping they don't, followed by a, "Man, can you believe that guy just sucker punched me out of nowhere? What was that about? Unbelievable." every 4 seconds for the rest of the night.

You did pretty well, though, pas. At least you threw his little choo-choo conductor hat out the window. Maybe it landed in a puddle. It was probably a real pain in the ass to go all the way down the stairs and outside to retrieve it.
Let's go to a motel. We don't have to do anything -- we could just swim.

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

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Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2010, 03:34:20 AM »
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See?  Why would I ever direct an insult at you?

By the way, stories like that never derail any thread.  That's what message boards in general are truly for.  Film discussion is just the theme of this board.
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

squints

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Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2010, 12:37:47 PM »
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we should have a "i got in a fight this one time" thread cause i have a story from two nights ago (if any body watched ESPN thursday night there was a football game going on in the town i live in) and i almost got in a fight. it was funny.
“The myth by no means finds its adequate objectification in the spoken word. The structure of the scenes and the visible imagery reveal a deeper wisdom than the poet himself is able to put into words and concepts” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Stefen

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Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2010, 12:48:38 PM »
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WERD! A mod needs to spin this thread off into the I got into a fight thread. Xixax hilarity will ensue. Should just mod me and designate me the xixax thread spinner offer.

Tell the story anyways, squints.
Let's go to a motel. We don't have to do anything -- we could just swim.

Gold Trumpet

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Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2010, 02:07:30 PM »
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I almost got into a fight last night. Well, I was challenged to one at a bar. In a conversation between two mutual drunk friends, one was going on about how his good friend in high school was raped at a party after she passed out and someone took advantage of her body. The other friend, not knowing the actual story at all, tried to question it by inventing ways it could have been consensual and that we shouldn't judge the situation that way. I was pretty stunned because this was a story about a good friend and you don't talk in generics with that. Anyways, I told the questioner to "Shut the fuck up." because he kept going on and on. He was offended by me and immediately challenged me to a fight or to shut up. I started yelling at him in the bar so he had to be restrained. In the end, I just left the bar and kept telling him off as I was leaving, but later I found out he was pissed at me because he thinks I want to bang his wife (Ha! only he believes I would want to touch her) and he thinks my jokes about him are too mean. Well, I have a cruel sense of humor, but it only hurts the insecure and he is part of that dumb list for sure.

Stefen

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Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2010, 02:30:51 PM »
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I pushed him a little harder on the couch. My friends will tell you that during this whole dialog I was SHAKING LIKE CRAZY out of nervousness. So by then he was kinda pissed but not really yet. He thought it was a weird joke. So I had to take his little railroad driver cap and throw it out the balcony (4th floor) to really piss him off.

I almost got into a fight last night. Well, I was challenged to one at a bar. I found out he was pissed at me because he thinks I want to bang his wife

Best fight stories ever.
Let's go to a motel. We don't have to do anything -- we could just swim.

Pas

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Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2010, 02:45:15 PM »
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Should just mod me

This is long overdue.

GT, let us know when you bang his wife, btw.

polkablues

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Re: Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2010, 04:03:07 PM »
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I got beat up once, but then I finally remembered the safe word.
Now you're in the *spoiler* place.

Stefen

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Re: Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #9 on: October 02, 2010, 04:29:44 PM »
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XIXAX FIGHT CLUB!
Let's go to a motel. We don't have to do anything -- we could just swim.

Gold Trumpet

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Re: Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #10 on: October 02, 2010, 04:38:08 PM »
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I did my fights when I was younger...

Between the ages of 12 and 15, I got my ass kicked by two guys on a streetcorner. I was with a girl and another guy was holding her down so she couldn't yell or run away. One time I beat up a friend of mine in his own house and said goodbye to his mom as I walked out afterward (she had no clue). Then I got my ass kicked by my best friend but still slept over his house later that night. Then me and five friends were roller blading and we saw someone we didn't like so we kicked the shit out of him with our rollerblades on. I never imagined I would be ever kicking someone with my roller blades, but I went with it. Didn't know the kid at all.

My worst is when I got into a fight with a good friend at an ice rink. It was after we went skating and he pissed me off so bad I took a swipe at him with my ice skate. The blade of the skate missed his neck by inches. The ice rink attendant had to restrain me.

Since all of this, I have never fought. Had my own mini Clockwork Orange 21st chapter level of maturity.

Oh, dumb ancedote, but I also got into a fist fight in my kindergarten classroom when I was attending. Teacher told my mom I was the only kid they had ever seen get into a fight in the classroom. Subsequently, because of that and my stupidity, I was held back and had to do kindergarten for two years.

pete

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Re: Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #11 on: October 02, 2010, 07:21:02 PM »
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I roll with a bunch of martial artists and stunt guys and I'm well-versed with the martial arts.  but I don't train at all and I haven't for the last three years.  I wear glasses so I can't just walk into fights.  I got in one fight where I didn't get hit once but my glasses still came apart, which was really scary, 'cause then I realized even if I took one hit that shit would've shattered on my face.

are we still talking about fighting?

one time I went dancing with some of my stunt buddies.  they're not uh, "cool kids", or at least this one wasn't.  he was a very sweet, very capable guy who "Rolls with his boys" and clubs at meat-heady places.  and for a sweet guy like him, I've heard way too many fight stories.  and sometimes I think he tells them just to impress us, though that's weird 'cause he's a very good stuntman.

anyways, we walked past two angry dudes and one girlfriend on our way home. I was giving a piggy back ride to a drunk girl.  the angry dudes were yelling at and threatening the girl.  the sweet stuntguy actually tried to break 'em up.  and I guess this is the reason angry dudes act out in public is they really just want an excuse to hit somebody.  another dude steps out of the car and they started yelling at us.  people walking by were watching, I was kinda embarrassed.  I hate that if you get in a scuffle with meatheads (or with anyone - even on the internet), it doesn't matter how innocent you think you are, people still think you're a meathead.

so these like Chinese gangster-looking (or wannabe) kids got all up in our faces, I had a drunk girl on my back.  and I never ever felt threatened by Asian kids, I think my world's always been far too removed.  I actually had to check myself when I'm overseas 'cause I had to remind myself that there are gangsters and meatheads in every country too.  and San Francisco isn't like Boston where there are meatheads and there are everyone else.  SF is full of all the little niches and every niche just has that meathead population built in.  it's confusing.

so the Chinese townies got out and started to shove my sweetface friend.  I heard a punch thrown and I was like oh shit.  I started looking for a curb to put the girl down.  I heard a lot of screaming and I couldn't believe that I was about to fight somebody and be part of his stories (he's always the hero and I never believed him.)  Then I heard footsteps coming from behind me so I kinda instinctively crouched though there was still a girl on my back.  The guy ran right past me - I realized he was either going to get help or running away.

So I put the girl down and I turned around and there were two dudes on the ground.  The stuntguy had a deep cut cross his nose.  I acted real heroically for a second and said "you watch [insert the girl's weird Thai name]" and I'll go find him, then turned around and felt a hand on my ankle.  It was the Chinese homie who got out of the car, bleeding on the ground, going "chill chill chill, I'll call him right now."  Then in Chinese he yelled at him on the phone and told him to come back.

shit that's a lot of words but I'm not sure if I set up the story right - basically I thought it was funny that in this day and age you can call people on the cellphone.  If it were a movie (and you better believe it's gonna be a movie some day) I'll make the guy on the ground say a code phrase and bring in an army of thugs.

I thought it was a code phrase and told my friend that we should've taken the cab to the girl.  he thought i was ridiculous and to this day I still think that though he's as nice to me as ever, he now thinks less of me.  also the girl was so blase about all that later.  they both were in fact.  it's just what happens, it seems.
“Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.”
- Buster Keaton

Pubrick

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Re: Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #12 on: October 02, 2010, 08:47:34 PM »
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Xixax (almost) Fight Club.

Where's cronopio when you need him.
under the paving stones.

Pas

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Re: Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #13 on: October 02, 2010, 09:11:06 PM »
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What I'm learning so far from this thread

- GT is a potential friend-murderer-for-vague-reason

- pete lives in a world where you can't just drop off a girl that's on your back, you have to look for a curb. How tall is pete, how tiny is that thai chick so she can't just get down herself, she has to be cautiously taken to a curb? Is pete actually a car?

- I don't know the meaning of "rolling with boys" but it sounds gay.

- GT did his kindergarden twice, a concept I thought was a myth

- I'm the only one so far with a story where the hero is the meathead.

children with angels

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Re: Xixax Fight Club
« Reply #14 on: October 02, 2010, 10:06:23 PM »
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- pete lives in a world where you can't just drop off a girl that's on your back, you have to look for a curb. How tall is pete, how tiny is that thai chick so she can't just get down herself, she has to be cautiously taken to a curb? Is pete actually a car?

Haha,  :bravo:
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