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The thread where you embarass yourself with movies you've never seen

Pas · 257 · 51155

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Sleepless

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How about a list by consensus that we deem to be essential viewing? A short-ish list....
He held on. The dolphin and all the rest of its pod turned and swam out to sea, and still he held on. This is it, he thought. Then he remembered that they were air-breathers too. It was going to be all right.


İbrad

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You happy now, cunts?

I think it would be fun for each of us to pick our most embarrassing/essential movie we haven't seen, watch it within the next week or so, and come back here to review it. Reading reviews of Star Wars and Godfather as if they just came out could be pretty funny.


Pas

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What a thread! In french we call that a "feu de paille" ... a straw-fire maybe for you?

To celebrate it's conclusion (at least the crazy part with 5 good posts a minute) i would like to make a top 3 of the worst shames:

#3 : Picolas has never seen Star Wars.
#2 : Pete has never seen any Godfather
#1 : I turned off Boogie Nights after an hour and I've been posting on a PTA board for the last 5 years


Pubrick

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#3 : Picolas has never seen Star Wars.
#2 : Pete has never seen any Godfather
#1 : I turned off Boogie Nights after an hour and I've been posting on a PTA board for the last 5 years

#3 was cbrad you buffoon, he posted right above you!

this would be my list:

1. PAS hates movies.
2. polkablues reveals his shame late in the game and gets little recognition but in fact has one of the most shameful lists. i mean really.. really! this one affected me personally over and over again. i mean no wonder the dude keeps going on and on about Waking the Dead and jennifer connelly's bush (..y eyebrows), he hasn't seen anything else!
3. cbrad star wars. the dude works in advertising or commercial business or whatever.. whatever it is, i'm pretty sure star wars gets referenced on a daily basis! haha and he just sits there and repeats the lines just half a second after everyone says them like when homer is trying to sing along with smithers and the other douche from his alma mater when he's trying to work at the plant

eg.
cbrad's colleague: hey everyone! I AM YOUR FATHER
everyone but cbrad: *the imperial march unison* DUN DUN DU-DUN DUN DU-DUNNN
cbrad: Jeremys,.. Iron..  :oops:
under the paving stones.


Pas

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#3 : Picolas has never seen Star Wars.
#2 : Pete has never seen any Godfather
#1 : I turned off Boogie Nights after an hour and I've been posting on a PTA board for the last 5 years

#3 was cbrad you buffoon, he posted right above you!

Dammit this thread is just me showcasing my foolishness over and over.

this would be my list:

1. PAS hates movies.
2. polkablues reveals his shame late in the game and gets little recognition but in fact has one of the most shameful lists. i mean really.. really! this one affected me personally over and over again.

I wonder why polka's list flew under the radar so much. I just looked it up and it was indeed pretty awful. Maybe it's because his terrible omissions are disguised by the fact that he names the one or two thing he's seen from great directors instead of doing the disgustingly long list of those he missed.

3. cbrad star wars. haha the dude works in advertising or commercial business or whatever.. whatever it is, i'm pretty sure star wars gets referenced on a daily basis! haha and he just sits there and repeats the lines just half a second after everyone says them like when homer is trying to sing along with smithers and the other douche from his alma mater when he's trying to work at the plant

eg.
cbrad's colleague: hey everyone! I AM YOUR FATHER
everyone but cbrad: *the imperial march unison* DUN DUN DU-DUN DUN DU-DUNNN
cbrad: Jeremys,.. Iron..  :oops:

Too funny. Also,

cbrad's colleague: hey everyone! I AM YOUR FATHER

This guy sounds like a real douche.


polkablues

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Thank you for acknowledging my shame. I tried to be as comprehensive as possible. You have to hit rock bottom before you can start your recovery.
That's what fiction is for. It's for getting at the truth when the truth isn't sufficient for the truth.


İbrad

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3. cbrad star wars. the dude works in advertising or commercial business or whatever.. whatever it is, i'm pretty sure star wars gets referenced on a daily basis! haha and he just sits there and repeats the lines just half a second after everyone says them like when homer is trying to sing along with smithers and the other douche from his alma mater when he's trying to work at the plant

eg.
cbrad's colleague: hey everyone! I AM YOUR FATHER
everyone but cbrad: *the imperial march unison* DUN DUN DU-DUN DUN DU-DUNNN
cbrad: Jeremys,.. Iron..  :oops:

Hahaha. So funny. And so so true. Sigh

You see Spaceballs kind of ruined Star Wars for me. I saw that movie like 50 times and loved it and feared I would never be able to take Star Wars seriously (but I guess most people don't?). I have been nagging myself to see it for over a decade now. Each year I'd tell myself "what are you doingggg? You better watch it soon. You call yourself a movie geek. What the fuck." I'd put it off and put it off and the years passed and I don't know, it just never happened. Kind of like the 40 year old virgin.




socketlevel

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i would've fucking hated spaceballs without the references... like what else is there to like about it?

you watched that 50 times w/o getting any of the jokes essentially? man you're crazy.
the one last hit that spent you...


İbrad

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i would've fucking hated spaceballs without the references... like what else is there to like about it?

you watched that 50 times w/o getting any of the jokes essentially? man you're crazy.

I've read about it and seen enough parodies to understand the references. I know the plot. I know the characters. I feel like I've seen it. I just... haven't.



Pubrick

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i would've fucking hated spaceballs without the references... like what else is there to like about it?

you watched that 50 times w/o getting any of the jokes essentially? man you're crazy.

i saw spaceballs as a kid and didn't really care about the references. it works on a slapstick level.

depends how old you are at the time i guess but when you're watching something 50times chances are you're a happy kid or a sad grown up. only the latter would care about references.
under the paving stones.


Pas

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Spaceballs kind of ruined Star Wars for me us.

haha marque!


socketlevel

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I was 9 when spaceballs came out, so i had already seen the first two star wars religiously on 3rd 4th runs in the theatre, then on VHS like crazy. I actually saw return of the Jedi in the theatre first run. so the point is I'm old enough to to have gotten the references the first time i saw spaceballs. i actually didn't get all the jokes that weren't star wars related. as some were geared toward the older part of the audience; like the Afro pick combing or other more coded sexual jokes. i got the lightsaber cock thing though on the most basic level haha.

either way the point is from the first moment i saw it, the jokes were only as good as the source material. it was celebrating something i loved. it's not one of Mel brooks' better comedies. i just loved star wars.

side note:

now i hate star wars. Not because I'm turning my back on adolescence or being pretentiously mature, but more-so because George Lucas did. and redletter's reviews are legendary.
the one last hit that spent you...


JG

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I was in fourth grade when episode one came out and I remember my friends and I planning to watch Stars Wars the "right" way -- one through six.. only upon the release of episode three would I watch four through six. Then I saw episode one and I was horribly confused and I remember getting sick while eating at Wendy's afterward and deciding that maybe I didn't like Star Wars that much.

In middle school, I went through a phase during which I avoided anything that wasn't "realistic" -- it was during this time that I discovered Scorsese (Goodfellas!) and The Godfathers, and basically the concept of the director. Nothing sci-fi or fantasy related for me then (which also explains why I didn't watch Indiana Jones -- too fantastic -- or Lord of the Rings -- too gay). This was a dark time.

Then, freshman year of high school we watched episode four. I was there for the first day, enjoyed it (though I still didn't totally buy into it cause it didn't take place in our world). I was sick on the second day, and decided to sleep in the back of the room on the third, because I had already missed so much.

And from then on I just became embarrassed that I hadn't  seen it, and was put off by the task of watching THREE movies that I already should have watched in my formative years.

And I live with it everyday.


socketlevel

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wow now i'm feeling like one of the oldest people here. grade 4 for episode 1?!?! then you almost just know star wars as six movies. you have no idea the anticipation for episode one. my entire childhood passed me by and 90% of my teens by the time episode 1 came out.

it is that very anticipation and subsequent destruction that makes all the passion for my star wars hatred (like so many others born at least in the early 80s)
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Fernando

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I have been nagging myself to see it for over a decade now. Each year I'd tell myself "what are you doingggg? You better watch it soon. You call yourself a movie geek. What the fuck."

do you really want to be in the company of this freak crowd?  think twice before you see it! :yabbse-grin:


I must win a place in the hall of shame, here's more:

- citizen kane
- raging bull
- alien and aliens
- treasure of sierra madre
- none peckinpah
- none ophüls
  :oops:

and there's plenty of classic stuff that I haven't seen from the 60's, 50's, 40's...