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  • The Master of Two Worlds
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on: October 08, 2008, 11:49:59 PM
it's your favorite time of the year, the post of the year awards ceremony, where you choose the posts you remember you liked. i would get into categories but i'm about to go to sleep.  just post it if you remember where it is.

my vote, until i can think of a better one, goes to stefen for his weekend story involving the boondock saints, for its classic xixax motifs: film discussion (gone wild), a movie loved by assholes,  alcohol abuse and a desire for a plausible interaction between members.

I went to a party this weekend and got completely hammered and some meathead who fancied himself an intellectual starting talking about how good Boondock Saints is, and I was like, "That movie is garbage" and he was like, "Whatever man. You just don't know enough about film to get it, okay?" and I was so sloppy drunk and mad that the only comeback I could muster was, ".......fuck you." then went to get another beer.

I really wish some of you had been there with me, sober.
context, context, context.


  • The Master of Two Worlds
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Reply #1 on: October 09, 2008, 12:15:22 AM
i love it when meatheads fancie themselves as intellectuals.


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Reply #2 on: October 09, 2008, 10:32:02 AM
i was walking alone, minding my business, talking on the cell phone with a friend and a guy comes out of the blue and tells me something like 'this is nothing, but give me your phone'.  i saw that he was by himself, unarmed, and asked him ' i beg your pardon?' ,then, while he tried to repeat what he had just said I FUCKING SLAMED HIS NOSE WITH THE CELL PHONE AND started running like the devil. seriously. i  ran like a km in a matter of seconds. then a cab driver saw me and asked ARE YOU BEING FOLLOWED??! and i said YEEEEAH! and he gave me a ride .

am i a hero
a loser
what the fuck was this

edit: shit, that was last year. fuck it.


  • The Master of Two Worlds
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Reply #3 on: October 09, 2008, 11:10:54 AM
I was there. I sat in the front row. It was HILARIOUS. Seriously, I haven't laughed so hard in, well, in ever. I was laughing so hard that I could tell people were getting upset at me. That's how funny it was. Some guy sitting next to me would even give one of those little 'nerd sneers' anytime I laughed. You know the kind where he'll try and let it be known that he's annoyed, but not in a confrontational way because he doesn't want to get his ass kicked?

Obviously what you are doing right now is called (in my upcoming book of psychology at least) validation. I think it's a normal thing to do. People will reply, say anything, and then you're gonna do what you were subconsciently thinking of doing all along.


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Reply #4 on: October 09, 2008, 01:30:54 PM
i have a few friends that love Argento. i just roll my eyes. this past sunday, i went over to a friends house hoping to watch Pierrot Le Fou. he's like we'll have to wait cause so and so is bringing over mother of tears. I said "oh no. I should leave now." Upon leaving I yelled to them, "I'm taking my Godard and leaving!!"
“Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” - Andy Warhol

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Reply #5 on: October 15, 2008, 04:13:26 PM
I'll cheat because the following story must have more than 1 post, my vote goes to the Untraceable screening that Lucid and Pete went, and if I could I'll also include cine and hedwig's gifs gag, but that was the last day of 2007.

Until I can think of a better one, these are it.

This movie was god-awful.  Everyone should watch it, especially if you want to see SPOILER, BUT DO YOU CARE? Colin Hanks meet his untimely end in a vat of battery acid END USELESS SPOILER.  What happened at the screening was way more entertaining than what was on screen, starting with the fact that Pete and I were seated in between those two old ladies he mentioned in the Blood... thread.  The one on my side had a mild hacking cough, the one on his side was clutching her dog in her lap.  It was not a small dog.  Before the movie started I heard someone in the row behind me say, "Man, they should've made everyone here visit the website beforehand.  It really helps to build up the suspense.  There's this timer, and you're, like, freaking out.  I was like, 'What do I do?'  It's crazy."  (I haven't visited the website.)

Then there was that old lady smackdown Pete mentioned.  I'm stealing his story/joke glory here.  When the screening ended the old lady next to me shuffled her way out as quickly as possible and brushed past the old lady on Pete's side sort of forcefully.  Maybe she hit the dog or something, 'cause that old woman proceeded to get pissed and she actually shoved her, saying, "What are you doing?  There's someone still sitting here!"  I was pretty shocked, but Pete was quick and did the most natural thing...

...he HACKled her.

I wished it was worse.  it wanted to be boring and proper like CSI but also gory and hoaky like Saw, the boring stuff won.  A lot of thriller foreshadowing, a lot of cyber-babble, and a lot of moralizing.  the ending was fun, as the ending of the trailer promised, but everything that led up to it was eye-rolling garbage.
before the film started, a fully-sighted lady with a pet dog was eyeing the seats next to me, 'cause her dog couldn't stand sitting that close to the screen.  they were reserved for the press, but she was relentless.  she kept on yelling at the security people, calling them nazis and stuff, until finally it was confirmed that the seat next to me was empty.  the dog slept through the movie.  the lady uttered some words, but no more than anyone else in the audience.  as the movie ended, it was just as Lucid said, an old lady walked through us.  she was an hawaiian-looking, slightly chubby lady.  the dog lady looked exactly like every rich white single dog aunt you've witnessed.  the chubby lady crossed the dog lady and the dog lady flipped out.  she screamed at her, someone's still sitting here, there's a fucking living person sitting her, etc. etc.  the chubby lady was clearly embarrassed, trying to slowly work her way through the lady and the dog, then the dog lady began smacking the chubby lady with her dog in one arm.  she kept on smacking until the old lady got passed her.  I didn't get to talk to the screen as much as I wanted (I think the only thing I got to say was "he forgot to hack into her gun!"), so I wanted to talk to the dog lady.  I said "that's very classy, miss, hitting an old lady."  she said "well, she walked into me." she realized the whole row was looking at her and started packing very quickly.  I said "hey, I know an orphanage down the street, lets go kick the shit out of some orphans!"  the dog lady got up and was running from the theater, she kept on shouting defensive remarks over her shoulder at our general direction.

HAHA. What the fuck? Sounds like you two went to the best screening ever.