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Non-Film Discussion => Other Media => Topic started by: chinaski40 on October 06, 2003, 04:19:57 AM

Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: chinaski40 on October 06, 2003, 04:19:57 AM
i hope this one hasn't been done yet, if it has, please redirect me; but in the interest of my post, who is your favorite stand-up comic?  i think george carlin is the best, hands down....i like dave chappelle and jon stewart and richard pryor and the guy from the 80's (he's on the tool album aenemia *sp*, but i can never remember his name)....bill hicks, maybe???
but ultimately, is there anyone better than george carlin??
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Redlum on October 06, 2003, 04:27:10 AM
Really not something I've ever been into but some of my favourites of late

Rich Hall/Otis Lee Crenshaw & The Black Liars
Eddie Izzard
Lee Evans (his physical comedy is amazing, damn good song writer too)
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Sleuth on October 06, 2003, 06:04:25 AM
Quote from: chinaski40
but i can never remember his name)....bill hicks, maybe???


correct
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: lamas on October 06, 2003, 08:51:58 AM
David Cross.  Todd Barry is pretty good too.  I don't think Carlin is funny at all.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: eward on October 06, 2003, 09:13:06 AM
eddie izzard
denis leary
stephen wright
brian regan
dane cook
arj barker
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Gold Trumpet on October 06, 2003, 09:14:40 AM
Dennis Miller

~rougerum
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: aclockworkjj on October 06, 2003, 09:15:40 AM
Robin Williams
old Eddie Murphy
Jay Mohr
Chris Rock
sirprisingly...I saw Damon Waynes once, and he was funnier than I woulda expected.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: ShanghaiOrange on October 06, 2003, 09:16:53 AM
Mitch Hedberg
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Sigur Rós on October 06, 2003, 09:19:36 AM
I saw one of Chris Rock's shows and suprisingly I thought it was hella funny. A real stand-upper has got to be black. White guys aren't funny at all. I mean look at Billy Crystal and Steve Martin.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Find Your Magali on October 06, 2003, 09:30:06 AM
Classics that should be sought out by stand-up connoisseurs:

Bill Cosby's stuff from the 60s/early 70s ... especially his "Noah's Ark"* story and his true tales of growing up with his brother and the kids in his neighborhood.

Bob Newhart's stuff from the 60s. The classic being "The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart," with "The Driving Instructor" skit.

You won't be disappointed.


*-From "Bill Cosby is a Very Funny Fellow Right!"
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: freakerdude on October 06, 2003, 10:26:00 AM
Quote from: chinaski40
and the guy from the 80's (he's on the tool album aenemia *sp*, but i can never remember his name)....bill hicks, maybe??

Yes, Bill Hicks is the one on Tool's Aenema.

Robert Schimmel....the x rated comedian
Bill Hicks.....a "right in your face" hard hitting comedian with a purpose
http://www.billhicks.com/
George Carlin
Sam Kinison - who could forget him?
Richard Pryor
Daman Wayans
Tommy Davidson
Chris Rock
Mitch Hedberg gets a nod

Sometimes good and sometimes bad:
Dennis Leary
Dennis Miller
Martin Lawrence....his last stand up act made for movie SUCKED


a portion of Eulogy by Tool...a song dedicated to Bill Hicks

He had alot to say.
He had alot of nothing to say.
We'll miss him.

Standing above the crowd,
He had a voice that was strong and loud.
We'll miss him.
Ranting and pointing his finger
At everything but his heart.
We'll miss him.

No way to recall
What it was that you had said to me,
Like I care at all.

So loud.
You sure could yell.
You took a stand on every little thing
And so loud.

Standing above the crowd,
He had a voice so strong and loud and I
Swallowed his facade cuz I'm so
Eager to identify with
Someone above the ground,
Someone who seemed to feel the same,
Someone prepared to lead the way, with
Someone who would die for me.

You've claimed all this time that you would die for me.
Why then are you so surprised to hear your own eulogy?

You had alot to say.
You had alot of nothing to say.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on October 06, 2003, 02:13:48 PM
That song is not about Bill Hicks

Some of my favs:

Bill Hicks
David Cross
Patton Oswald
Chris Rock
Mitch Hedbergh (SP?)
George Carlin (older stuff)
Bill Cosby (Older Stuff)
Richard Prior (Older stuff)
Stephen Wright
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: chinaski40 on October 06, 2003, 02:19:29 PM
i thought that song was about christ...
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Duck Sauce on October 06, 2003, 02:23:23 PM
I dont know about stand up comedians, but Id have to say Adam Corolla on love line is about the funniest person i have ever listened to
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: cine on October 06, 2003, 03:32:52 PM
Aside from the ones mentioned, I really like Jim Gaffigan and when Andy Blitz did a stand up routine on Conan (he writes for the show anyhow).
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: godardian on October 06, 2003, 04:38:52 PM
Adam Corrolla physically repulses me. Everything he says leaves me stonefaced. I think The Man Show was/is the peak of moronic despicableness.

But on to comedians I do like:

Woody Allen
Wanda Sykes Hall
Chris Rock
Margaret Cho
Jerry Seinfeld
Ellen Degeneres
Janeane Garofalo

Jon Stewart on The Daily Show.

I think Stephen Colbert and Amy Sedaris are fucking hysterical. I can barely look at either of them without laughing, especially on Strangers with Candy.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Duck Sauce on October 06, 2003, 05:07:19 PM
Quote from: godardian
Adam Corrolla physically repulses me. Everything he says leaves me stonefaced. I think The Man Show was/is the peak of moronic despicableness.    



Yeah, thats why I said "on loveline". I cant stand the man show or kimmel or crankyankers. He needs Dr. Drew there to civilize him a bit and then he is very witty and funny. Plus on radio, you dont have to look at him
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: GodDamnImDaMan on October 06, 2003, 05:12:09 PM
I'll be physically and mentally disappointed if Corolla doesnt win US weekly's sexiest man of the year...

CAVE MAN IS IN I TELLZ YA!
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: godardian on October 06, 2003, 05:15:36 PM
Quote from: God Damn Im Da Man
I'll be physically and mentally disappointed if Corolla doesnt win US weekly's sexiest man of the year...

CAVE MAN IS IN I TELLZ YA!


I'm afraid you're right about the fad for prehistoric men... (actually, I kind of find "metrosexual"-type men to be pretty annoying, too- both types are so fabricated).

About Corolla being considered sexy, though... **shudder** That could only happen in the land of God Dam I'm Da Man's desperate projection. :-)
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: freakerdude on October 06, 2003, 06:27:04 PM
Quote from: chinaski40
i thought that song was about christ...

Sorry to get off topic here. Eulogy came from the inspiration that Maynard drew from Bill Hicks' personal beliefs and performances. If anyone thinks it has nothing to do with Bill Hicks, you are wrong and do not know of Maynard's admiration for him. Jesus Christ was my first impression until a true Tool-ie told me about Maynard's fascination with Bill Hicks......interperate what you want from it but it's not the obvious. If you give a damn, check out this forum post:

http://disc.server.com/discussion.cgi?disc=178164;article=10128;title=TOOL;date_query=1063306243

Maynard's lyrics are not always what they seem....check out Prison Sex and tell me what you think. Do those lyrics make him gay? It's all about something else....not exactly verbatim. Yes, part of Eulogy is directed at someone else, but it's mainly about Hicks, IMO.

My 2 cents off topic on Eulogy by Tool.

I'll add Bill Cosby to my list of favs

Abrasives:
Rosie O'Donnell
Sandra Bernhard
Ellen Degenres
Dennis Leary
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: godardian on October 06, 2003, 07:06:55 PM
Quote from: freakerdude
Quote from: chinaski40
i thought that song was about christ...

Sorry to get off topic here. Eulogy came from the inspiration that Maynard drew from Bill Hicks' personal beliefs and performances. If anyone thinks it has nothing to do with Bill Hicks, you are wrong and do not know of Maynard's admiration for him. Jesus Christ was my first impression until a true Tool-ie told me about Maynard's fascination with Bill Hicks......interperate what you want from it but it's not the obvious. If you give a damn, check out this forum post:

http://disc.server.com/discussion.cgi?disc=178164;article=10128;title=TOOL;date_query=1063306243

Maynard's lyrics are not always what they seem....check out Prison Sex and tell me what you think. Do those lyrics make him gay? It's all about something else....not exactly verbatim. Yes, part of Eulogy is directed at someone else, but it's mainly about Hicks, IMO.

My 2 cents off topic on Eulogy by Tool.

I'll add Bill Cosby to my list of favs

Abrasives:
Rosie O'Donnell
Sandra Bernhard
Ellen Degenres
Dennis Leary


I think Sandra Bernhard is genius exactly 2/3 of the time. I don't know that you'd call what she does "standup comedy," though. I think of it more as performance art.

I can't imagine anyone finding Ellen Degeneres abrasive as a stand-up comedian... her stand-up is probably the most gentle out there.  :?:
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on October 06, 2003, 07:31:48 PM
George Carlin
Mitch Hedburg
Pablo Francisco (I'm so suprised no one put him up yet)
Nick Swardson
Dave Attell
Maria Bamford
Jerry Seinfeld

I think that's a pretty good list...
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on October 06, 2003, 07:33:32 PM
Quote from: freakerdude
Quote from: chinaski40
i thought that song was about christ...

Sorry to get off topic here. Eulogy came from the inspiration that Maynard drew from Bill Hicks' personal beliefs and performances. If anyone thinks it has nothing to do with Bill Hicks, you are wrong and do not know of Maynard's admiration for him. Jesus Christ was my first impression until a true Tool-ie told me about Maynard's fascination with Bill Hicks......interperate what you want from it but it's not the obvious. If you give a damn, check out this forum post:

http://disc.server.com/discussion.cgi?disc=178164;article=10128;title=TOOL;date_query=1063306243

Maynard's lyrics are not always what they seem....check out Prison Sex and tell me what you think. Do those lyrics make him gay? It's all about something else....not exactly verbatim. Yes, part of Eulogy is directed at someone else, but it's mainly about Hicks, IMO.

My 2 cents off topic on Eulogy by Tool.


I have been a fan of Tool and a fan of Bill Hicks for many years, my friend.

What's funny is that the article you linked is saying exactly what I just said "Eulogy is NOT about Bill Hicks".  

You could say that it's inspired by Bill Hicks in some ways, but not really directly... not as directly as "Aenema" ("Arizona Bay" is not only a Hicks routine, but the title of one of his stand up compilations) or "Third Eye" which even samples Hicks... but more in the fact that the attitudes are very similar to Hicks'.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: smash on October 06, 2003, 08:04:47 PM
Quote from: ShanghaiOrange
Mitch Hedberg

Hells yes.  I just love this stoner-man's delivery...its so great.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: eward on October 06, 2003, 09:35:07 PM
DANE COOK
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Gloria on October 06, 2003, 10:12:22 PM
Denis Leary
Dennis Miller
Steven Wright
Jerry Seinfeld
Chris Rock
Jon Stewart
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: edison on October 07, 2003, 12:18:59 AM
Quote from: Walrus, KooKookajoob
Pablo Francisco (I'm so suprised no one put him up yet)


Damn you!!! i was reading through these and i was just about to put his name, my girlfriend introduced me to him on a video she had taped on comedy central and i nearly pissed my pants.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Newtron on October 07, 2003, 04:23:23 AM
Shanghai Orange.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Derek237 on October 07, 2003, 06:56:26 AM
JIMMY CARR
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: ShanghaiOrange on October 07, 2003, 09:12:46 AM
Quote from: Newtron
Shanghai Orange.
 :-D  :oops:  8)
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on October 07, 2003, 11:59:17 AM
Mario Cantone
Kevin James
Sabrina something (I've only seen one show of hers but it is hilarious.  Wish I could remember her name.  She has very short hair and wore a Hawaiian shirt, which tells you something...)
Hugh Fink (writer on SNL, but his standup is funny)
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: coffeebeetle on October 07, 2003, 12:32:40 PM
Denis Leary
Wanda Sykes
Jay Mohr (for his Chris Walken impression alone)
Laura Kitelinger (I know I fucked up her last name....)
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: SoNowThen on October 07, 2003, 12:40:14 PM
Quote from: coffeebeetle
Jay Mohr (for his Chris Walken impression alone)


So agreed!!
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: ElPandaRoyal on October 07, 2003, 12:41:32 PM
Quote
Jay Mohr (for his Chris Walken impression alone)


When did that happen?
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on October 07, 2003, 02:30:18 PM
Quote from: EEz28
Quote from: Walrus, KooKookajoob
Pablo Francisco (I'm so suprised no one put him up yet)


Damn you!!! i was reading through these and i was just about to put his name, my girlfriend introduced me to him on a video she had taped on comedy central and i nearly pissed my pants.


(In THE Voice)...In the city...you must fight to survive...he sold tortillas on the corner of the street...
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on October 07, 2003, 03:15:30 PM
Quote from: Walrus, KooKookajoob
Pablo Francisco (I'm so suprised no one put him up yet)


Quote from: EEz28
Damn you!!! i was reading through these and i was just about to put his name, my girlfriend introduced me to him on a video she had taped on comedy central and i nearly pissed my pants.


Quote from: Walrus, KooKookajoob
(In THE Voice)...In the city...you must fight to survive...he sold tortillas on the corner of the street...



Ohhhhh... that guy.

Man, he stretches his material waaaaaaayyyyy too thin.

He's got a few funny jokes, but he rides them way too long.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on October 07, 2003, 03:21:32 PM
Quote from: RegularKarate
Man, he stretches his material waaaaaaayyyyy too thin.

He's got a few funny jokes, but he rides them way too long.


Yeah I guess, I love him anyway.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: picolas on October 07, 2003, 07:53:09 PM
Majumder made me laugh harder than ever one night, but it may have been an allignment of the planets thing..
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Pedro on October 07, 2003, 08:36:21 PM
I like eddie izzard alot
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: freakerdude on October 07, 2003, 09:50:47 PM
Quote from: godardian
I can't imagine anyone finding Ellen Degeneres abrasive as a stand-up comedian... her stand-up is probably the most gentle out there.  :?:
You are right, I shouldn't have included Ellen under the abrasives list...should have said the Dice Man instead.

A few more to my list of one's I like:
Eddie Murphy
David Allen Grier
Jamie Foxx
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: MacGuffin on March 13, 2004, 01:30:14 AM
Entertainment Weekly posted their list of America's Funniest Comedians (yeah, I know they aren't all stand-ups):

(http://i.timeinc.net/ew/covergallery/img/2004/mar192004_756_lg.jpg)

1.) Chris Rock
2.) Jon Stewart & The 'Daily Show' Team
3.) Will Ferrell
4.) Larry David
5.) David Chappelle
6.) Ellen DeGeneres
7.) Bill Murray
8.) Amy & David Sedaris
9.) Robert Smigel
10.) Jim Carrey
11.) David Letterman
12.) Aaron McGruder
13.) Jack Black
14.) Wanda Sykes
15.) Augusten Burroughs
16.) Scot Armstrong
17.) Conan O'Brien
18.) Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson
19.) Bernie Mac
20.) Maya Rudolph
21.) Demetri Martin
22.) Catherine O'Hara
23.) ego trip
24.) Sarah Silverman
25.) Dave Attell
25.5) Kelly Ripa
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Weak2ndAct on March 13, 2004, 02:25:35 AM
Quote from: MacGuffin
25.5) Kelly Ripa

Ripa?????

She's about as funny as a dead baby!
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: xerxes on March 13, 2004, 02:26:52 AM
Quote from: Pedro the Wombat
I like eddie izzard alot


he's great
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Sigur Rós on March 13, 2004, 08:26:53 AM
Quote from: MacGuffin
17.) Conan O'Brien


Scary!   :shock:
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: NEON MERCURY on March 13, 2004, 12:22:15 PM
where's Bob Sagat......he was :snaps fingers: "Fantastic"....when he use  to host Americas' funniest home videos.....
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on March 13, 2004, 01:53:07 PM
Bob Saget's best work was directing Dirty Work.

That top 25 list really looks like they just decided to put anyone on it.  "yeah, I laughed at him before, put him on the list!"
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on March 14, 2004, 04:05:33 AM
If you watch the aired and uncut versions of Mitch Hedberg's Comedy Central special on his DVD, you can see how the editing makes the show tighter.  In the uncut version, some of his jokes aren't that funny and some funny ones go over the heads of the audience, and he sometimes jokes about some jokes not being funny.  The aired version mostly uses the actual laughter, but it sounded like they sweetened the laugh track in at least one place.

I wouldn't put Chris Rock at number one, nor would I put Aaron MacGruder (11) on the list at all.  The Boondocks has been only so-so for a while now.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: meatwad on March 14, 2004, 07:40:01 AM
that is actually a pretty good list for EW. I'm was surpriesd to see they included Amy & David Sedaris, which is great. Sarah Silverman also should have been higher on that list.

And by egotrip, do they mean the guys who used to run the hip hop magazine and now do those books, like Ego Trip's Book of Hip Hop Lists?
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Pubrick on March 14, 2004, 09:15:21 AM
Quote from: MacGuffin
1.) Chris Rock
2.) Jon Stewart & The 'Daily Show' Team
3.) Will Ferrell
4.) Larry David
5.) David Chappelle
6.) Ellen DeGeneres
7.) Bill Murray
8.) Amy & David Sedaris
9.) Robert Smigel
10.) Jim Carrey
11.) David Letterman
12.) Aaron McGruder
13.) Jack Black
14.) Wanda Sykes
15.) Augusten Burroughs
16.) Scot Armstrong
17.) Conan O'Brien
18.) Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson
19.) Bernie Mac
20.) Maya Rudolph
21.) Demetri Martin
22.) Catherine O'Hara
23.) ego trip
24.) Sarah Silverman
25.) Dave Attell

SLOMB HOW VALID IS THIS LIST?
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: godardian on March 14, 2004, 11:18:10 AM
There seems to be good reason to have included almost everyone on the EW list, but no Margaret Cho? I've been to lots of stand-up comedy performances, and have never heard an audience laugh the way she makes them laugh. Maybe Chris Rock... not many others.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: kotte on October 09, 2004, 06:45:36 PM
Adam Ferrara - Awesome
Gabriel Iglesias
Bill Burr
Brian Regan
Jim Carrey
Jerry Seinfelt
Robin Williams
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Myxo on March 26, 2005, 03:35:16 PM
After all these years, I finally got to see Dennis Leary's "No Cure for Cancer" on DVD. It was a favorite of mine growing up but I'd only heard the CD until now.

"Shut the fuck up by Dr. Dennis Leary!"
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on August 01, 2005, 09:34:07 PM
Last night I saw Richard Lewis at the Improv.  Hilarious, of course, though the set was quite short.  He's 58 years old but still sharp.  He mentioned that season 5 of Curb has a lot of stuff with him in it, and that it is quite dark.  He took about 5 minutes to come out after the host announced him. The "m" in "Improv" kept coming unstuck from the wall, and he kept pressing it back down, which was pretty funny.  And he had trouble with his tape recorder.

A month or two before, I saw a guy named Joey Diaz.  He was in the remake of The Longest Yard.  I think his entire act was about sex, mostly oral.  It got old quick, though we were sitting right in front of the stage, so we had to pretend to enjoy it, which was bizarre.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: socketlevel on August 08, 2005, 03:27:37 PM
i just watched the bill hicks dvd and it blew me away like it did when i first saw his london performance.  wish he was still around...

he's the greatest ever.

-sl-
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Stefen on August 08, 2005, 07:54:16 PM
Why is it that comedians are always so fucked up? I mean, they tell jokes, but they are always the most mentally unstable and hateful people on the planet. They have self destructive behaviour and it's out of control.

Even people who want to get into comedy and haven't nor probably will ever make it are fucked up and awful mental case human beings.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on August 08, 2005, 11:30:23 PM
Stand-up comedy is usually born out of personal pains and awkward experiences, which is probably why it is the domain of people with a lot of problems.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: 72teeth on August 09, 2005, 12:24:52 AM
Quote from: Ravi
Stand-up comedy is usually born out of personal pains and awkward experiences, which is probably why it is the domain of people with a lot of problems.


yup, humor is most definitly a defense mechanism.
Title: best stand-up comic
Post by: socketlevel on August 09, 2005, 10:48:48 AM
Quote from: Stefen
Why is it that comedians are always so fucked up? I mean, they tell jokes, but they are always the most mentally unstable and hateful people on the planet. They have self destructive behaviour and it's out of control.

Even people who want to get into comedy and haven't nor probably will ever make it are fucked up and awful mental case human beings.


that's because normal is mediocrity and art immitates life.

-sl-
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Kal on January 19, 2006, 09:37:20 AM
I went to see Dave Attel last night at the Improv... funny as hell... he was wasted too and made fun of everyone in the audience... it was great.

"Jessica Simpson is single again... isnt that something? We all want some of that... everyone has a Jessica Simpson fantasy. You wanna hear mine? Ok... Jessica baby... please hold your sister Ashley while I kick her on the throat!"

Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on January 19, 2006, 01:53:16 PM
Quote from: MacGuffin
1.) Chris Rock
2.) Jon Stewart & The 'Daily Show' Team
3.) Will Ferrell
4.) Larry David
5.) David Chappelle
6.) Ellen DeGeneres
7.) Bill Murray
8.) Amy & David Sedaris
9.) Robert Smigel
10.) Jim Carrey
11.) David Letterman
12.) Aaron McGruder
13.) Jack Black
14.) Wanda Sykes
15.) Augusten Burroughs
16.) Scot Armstrong
17.) Conan O'Brien
18.) Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson
19.) Bernie Mac
20.) Maya Rudolph
21.) Demetri Martin
22.) Catherine O'Hara
23.) ego trip
24.) Sarah Silverman
25.) Dave Attell
SLOMB HOW VALID IS THIS LIST?

I'm only now looking at that list closely.  I like how Amy and David Sedaris are now one person, and that Augusten Burroughs is apparently a comedian now.  I've read two of his books and there's humorous stuff in there, but I wouldn't call him a humor writer or comedian.

Will Ferrell above Larry David?  NO!
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Kal on January 19, 2006, 03:05:30 PM
Entertainment Weekly posted their list of America's Funniest Comedians (yeah, I know they aren't all stand-ups):

(http://i.timeinc.net/ew/covergallery/img/2004/mar192004_756_lg.jpg)

1.) Chris Rock
2.) Jon Stewart & The 'Daily Show' Team
3.) Will Ferrell
4.) Larry David
5.) David Chappelle
6.) Ellen DeGeneres
7.) Bill Murray
8.) Amy & David Sedaris
9.) Robert Smigel
10.) Jim Carrey
11.) David Letterman
12.) Aaron McGruder
13.) Jack Black
14.) Wanda Sykes
15.) Augusten Burroughs
16.) Scot Armstrong
17.) Conan O'Brien
18.) Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson
19.) Bernie Mac
20.) Maya Rudolph
21.) Demetri Martin
22.) Catherine O'Hara
23.) ego trip
24.) Sarah Silverman
25.) Dave Attell
25.5) Kelly Ripa

Seinfeld should be there... Vince Vaughn should also be there with Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller... Steve Carell... Robin Williams... there are many missing... and the order is wrong too!
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on January 24, 2006, 06:44:36 PM
I loves myself some arj barker and harland williams.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on January 24, 2006, 10:12:50 PM
The one and only: Bill Hicks

David Cross
Jim Gaffigan
Patton Oswalt
Dave Attel
Dave Chappelle
and a lot of people find him annoying but i love Brian Reagan
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on January 24, 2006, 10:41:30 PM
Speaking of which...Jim Gaffigan has a new stand-up special on Comedy Central Sunday at 9pm (Central)
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reinhold on January 27, 2006, 10:31:56 PM
the new york comedy club is running a special on tickets to fill it up for the new comedy central series being taped there this spring.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on January 28, 2006, 11:11:15 AM
LINK?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reinhold on January 28, 2006, 01:57:44 PM
LINK?

no link. my friend evan told me about it as he was handing me some tickets that he picked up in manhattan a couple days ago.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on January 29, 2006, 01:32:39 PM
Comedy Central's running episodes of Comedy Central Presents all day today, until Jim Gaffigan's special at 9pm/8pm central.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on January 29, 2006, 01:52:00 PM
i know! its fantastic..i've been watching it all day
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: godardian on February 03, 2006, 12:49:09 PM
Margaret Cho and Janeane Garofalo.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on February 03, 2006, 02:05:23 PM
Margaret Cho and Janeane Garofalo.

Five years ago.

I've even kind of been disapointed by Cross lately... his politics are getting in the way of the humor.

Patton Oswalt is hands down my favorite right now.
Zach G. is also just brilliant.

I think Paul F. Thompkins is also totally underrated.  He changes his material faster than anyone else I've seen more than a few times... he keeps it good too.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: godardian on February 03, 2006, 02:56:07 PM
Margaret Cho and Janeane Garofalo.


...yeah. I haven't really kept up on my stand-up. Not my favorite mode, really; I just know what I like. I liked the Sarah Silverman movie, too (the stand-up parts; I could've done with half the skits/numbers).
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: ©brad on February 03, 2006, 04:09:25 PM
what about dane cook? he's hysterical and very hot at the moment.

also, george carlin is still alive.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on February 03, 2006, 04:19:32 PM
what about dane cook? he's hysterical and very hot at the moment.

also, george carlin is still alive.

Dane Cook is a theiving hack... he was funny for five minutes and now just floats on bullshit and frat-guys...

sorry

Carlin was so good in his day, that I can't bring myself to discuss his downfall.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on February 03, 2006, 05:21:23 PM
Dane Cook is a myspace whore
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on February 04, 2006, 12:14:28 AM
Dane Cook is a myspace whore

Who isn't?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on February 04, 2006, 02:30:18 PM
what about dane cook? he's hysterical and very hot at the moment.

also, george carlin is still alive.

Dane Cook is a theiving hack... he was funny for five minutes and now just floats on bullshit and frat-guys...

I used to think he was hilarious a few years ago, but I watched some of his stuff again recently and his jumping around and yelling got on my nerves.  He actually has some good material here and there, but a lot of it is hackery.  Lines at the DMV are long?  Public restrooms are wet?  Thanks for the revelation. 

It would have been better if he had just stuck to his teleportation joke (which I think is actually funny) instead of talking about the DMV beforehand.

"In the year 3000, everything will be instant. But the DMV will still take like 9 fuckin seconds. 9 SECONDS? COME ON!!! I GOTTA BE AT WORK IN 3 SECONDS!!!"
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on February 04, 2006, 03:21:21 PM
Dane Cook certainly does overdo it at times... He has excellent delivery once the joked is received, and then continues with it to make it a bit trying on the nerves... He is quite hilarious in small doses.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: JG on February 26, 2006, 06:15:26 PM
So this Demeti Martin guy has something about him....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lt63CwjOr9A&search=demetri%20martin
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on February 26, 2006, 09:05:21 PM
I can't find his stuff anywhere, but Ben Bailey has some of the best delivery ever.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Garam on February 27, 2006, 09:14:14 AM
Seven minute video of Dylan Moran here. You may know him as David in Shaun of the Dead or Bernard Black in Black Books. He was also in that pretty shitty film with Michael Caine, and he popped up in Cock and Bull story, briefly.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4247310173885901953&q=dylan+moran

Enjoy.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on February 27, 2006, 08:41:53 PM
So this Demeti Martin guy has something about him....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lt63CwjOr9A&search=demetri%20martin

I saw Demetri a year or so ago here in Austin and he was awesome. 

Louis CK will hopefully start getting some proper recognition soon with his HBO series.  He's damn hilarious.  If you've never seen him, check out his website (or Itunes) for his video podcast.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Gamblour. on February 27, 2006, 09:49:40 PM
Demetri Martin sucks. His Daily Show stuff is 2 parts Wes Anderson and 5 parts not funny. His stand up is part Stephen Lynch/Zach Galfaanfaifgas and 80% Mitch Hedberg one liners. He sucks.

Brian Regan, however, has been my favorite comic for quite some time. He has this perpetual goofiness that is just catching, and he's self-depreciating. However, on his dvd, he actually lets some real emotion show with a bit about "me-monsters." Truly hysterical, the man is Steve Martin times ten, at times.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on February 27, 2006, 09:56:35 PM
I don't think demetri's style is that innovative, but he's got a charm and his jokes are funny.  maybe it'll wear off over time but right now I still enjoy his jokes.  He's got escalator and fruit jokes and and "something is lot like something else" jokes that are pure mitch hedberg, but he's got a good voice and good delivery, there is just something serious in his voice that makes things a little bit funnier.
Brian Regan though, I've always loved--aside from a few months in 2004 when he tried to be political, his material is just soooo solid.  I mean, the thought of a guy walking into a spider web is funny enough, but just how he acts it out too!  And his entire half hour routine on eating and fitness and middle America.  He's really clean and accessible to the Middle America, yet he also makes fun of them like crazy.  What a good combo.
still, if you wanna see real emotions, watch Chappelle in a club or something.  That guy is great.  He's truly subversive.  He is the one comedian I see who does comedy to empower people.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on February 27, 2006, 10:28:23 PM
Zach Galfaanfaifgas

Galfannfafigasfifandanglegas?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on February 27, 2006, 10:58:55 PM
Pete's right... he's not the most innovative comic out there, but his delivery is great and he's pretty witty (he used to palindrome material)
Regan can be funny, but how can you get upset that someone has the same style as three whole other comics when you go on to worship someone as generic as him?
Martin atleast has a comic philosophy that involves ideas other than making funny voices and acting "goofy".

Gamblour, I can only assume you've just seen a minute or two of his act as well because the "Zach G. type stuff is a very small part of it".

On a seperate note, Eugene Mirman will be joining the Comedians of Comedy tour in a couple weeks... unfortunately, Zach and Maria won't.  I'm still psyched to see them.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on February 27, 2006, 11:15:12 PM
dude, watch it with the regan bashing.  he's way more than just a goofy face.  his humor is more visceral and not as esoteric as the comedians who are hip with the kids, but he has a lot of charm and his humor is completely good-natured and honest.  it's not so much based on some kinda cleverness--though he's got good observations and can hold his own with that type of humor, a lot of it is just good nature and good presence.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on February 28, 2006, 12:07:54 AM
Demetri Martin's style is like Steven Wright's or Mitch Hedberg's or other great deadpan comics.  But his material is unique, and his word play and his jokes with strange concepts ("leather sleeves") is witty.

Brian Regan's funny, though he does do the "what's the deal with" kind of humor that has been around for a while.  He's a solid comic who can make me laugh.  As far as accessible yet creative comedians go, he's no Jim Gaffigan.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: polkablues on February 28, 2006, 12:09:14 AM
Gamblour, I can only assume you've just seen a minute or two of his act

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lt63CwjOr9A&search=demetri%20martin

Don't try to deny it, Gamblour.   :nono:
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Gamblour. on February 28, 2006, 12:20:31 AM
Gamblour, I can only assume you've just seen a minute or two of his act

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lt63CwjOr9A&search=demetri%20martin

Don't try to deny it, Gamblour.   :nono:

No  :oops: here, I have only seen a bit of his act, but I got a horrible impression of him from the Daily Show, where he sucked it up with an unfunny thing about Xbox.

Regan, I'm glad pete agrees, I remember realizing slowly after laughing my ass off for hours that he does not curse ever, which is truly remarkable in a world of lowest common denominator comedians. Regan's stuff, even if you consider it generic, is always fucking hysterical and solid. the generic nature of his material is not shown to be mundane, but actually rather absurd. actually, the main thing I love about him is how he makes himself out to be the stupidest human on the planet, which is something about the human condition we can all relate to. he's got no gimmicks, like being funny with a tape recorder, and I think in terms of the craft, he's got to get tons of respect. I'm not trying to blast anyone for not liking him, or trying to blast demetri in the process. anyhow, i don't care if he's not some subversive guy, he makes me laugh my ass off.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: polkablues on February 28, 2006, 01:36:15 AM
No  :oops: here, I have only seen a bit of his act, but I got a horrible impression of him from the Daily Show, where he sucked it up with an unfunny thing about Xbox.

See if you can find his first Trendspotting piece, which was about wine companies trying to make wine "cool" to younger drinkers.  Some classic stuff in that one.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on February 28, 2006, 10:03:24 AM
I'm not trying to diss Regan, really.  I think he can be funny (though I would certainly rather pay seven bucks to see Martin than forty to see Regan), he's been doing the same thing for years and is very solid.  I was just using him as an example of why the "Demetri is just like this other guy" comment doesn't really mean anything.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Gamblour. on February 28, 2006, 11:20:15 AM
Ok, I see. I will leave Demetri alone.

However, can we agree that Ralphie May sucks?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Garam on February 28, 2006, 11:56:27 AM
Watch my link, you assholes.  :(
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on February 28, 2006, 11:04:38 PM
There goes any possibility of me ever watching it.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: polkablues on March 01, 2006, 01:29:06 AM
However, can we agree that Ralphie May sucks?

We can.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: hedwig on March 14, 2006, 10:45:41 PM
Last night I caught a big piece of Carlos Mencia's concert on Comedy Central.

my full review: Carlos Mencia is the worst popular comedian since Larry the Cable Guy.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Gamblour. on March 14, 2006, 11:06:23 PM
Not since. Let's just say he's the Mexican Cable Guy. He is the least funny, most reactionary, pseduo patriotic, right wing piece of shit. I bet neon loves him.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: hedwig on March 15, 2006, 01:06:24 AM
Thank you, Gamblour. I just realized how soft I was on the Mencia in that post. Time to unleash the dragon.  :shock:

I feel a moral obligation to rise up from the soul-destruction of witnessing Carlos Mencia's stand-up special and deliver an impassioned warning to the rest of you.

IF YOU SEE THIS MAN ON TELEVISION, CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL. FAST.

This man is terrible. Sure, he's more tolerable than, say, Larry the Cable Guy, but that's not sayin' much. A public castration is more tolerable than Larry the Cable Guy. No, here we're talking about mind-numbing unfunniness, the type of humourless drivel that will break your brain if you subject yourself to a high enough dosage. Be cautious, my friends. Be very, very cautious with the Mencia.

Honestly, this hype about him being offensive and edgy is total, utter nonsense. He's as edgy as he is funny, which is about as funny as a red ant in a rubber, or some other comparison of your choosing. Once we're done rigging the votes in favour of McPhee, my posse's going on a total fucking bounty hut for this biatchen. You're dead, C-Men.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Fernando on March 15, 2006, 12:06:39 PM
Agree, I saw part of it too, the guy just yells too much I think and YELLING DOES NOT MAKE THINGS FUNNIER, OH WAIT THEY DO!  :yabbse-rolleyes:

Honestly, this hype about him being offensive and edgy is total, utter nonsense.

Edgy? Hardly, some of his jokes were taken from George Lopez bits, which I think is awesome. You guys like G. Lo?  :yabbse-smiley:
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on March 15, 2006, 12:49:29 PM
I didn't watch his stand-up, but I fucking hate that "duh duh duh" thing he does.  It's more annoying and less intelligible than "git r done."
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on March 15, 2006, 12:59:54 PM
i saw patton oswalt last night and he was saying how he needs a catch phrase to sell beer coozies and hats. i can't remember most of them but i remember at least one was Bucket a' Puppies!
It was the comedians of comedy at emos and i had to leave before patton did the last bit of the show which was painfully tragic but i did catch aziz ansari who was awesome and hilarious. Eugene mirman kinda made me giggle but that was it. i can't imagine brian poshen was very funny..but i wasn't there so i don't know. Patton is great and gets my vote for the greatest comedian alive.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on March 15, 2006, 02:04:48 PM
I went to the new Comedians of Comedy show last night too and Aziz Ansari is fucking hilarious.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Sigur Rós on March 15, 2006, 05:20:11 PM
I saw a clip with Pablo Francisco where he is doing a "trailer"-voice and impersonating Schwarzenegger and Keanu Reeves. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Have anyone seen a whole show with this guy and how was it?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: modage on March 15, 2006, 07:52:05 PM
I went to the new Comedians of Comedy show last night too and Aziz Ansari is fucking hilarious.
oh thats cool, is he going to be on it (i guess so).  i've seen him a buncha times hosting this free standup thing at the UCB Theatre called Crash Test.  he doesnt seem like a standup really cause he's so laid back and tells a lot of funny stories.  i've never seen a full 'set' though, but i have seen him around the city a couple of times too most recently in hoboken after the yeah yeah yeahs show.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: polkablues on March 15, 2006, 08:23:12 PM
I saw a clip with Pablo Francisco where he is doing a "trailer"-voice and impersonating Schwarzenegger and Keanu Reeves. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Have anyone seen a whole show with this guy and how was it?

He did a half-hour on Comedy Central a few years back.  He's great; most of his stuff is based around the voices ("This summer... Arnold Schwarzenegger is... THE LITTLE TACO BOY"), but he's got good material to back it up.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on March 16, 2006, 04:47:39 PM
I believe it was Little Tortilla Boy.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: hedwig on March 16, 2006, 04:50:02 PM
I went to the new Comedians of Comedy show last night too and Aziz Ansari is fucking hilarious.

Damn right. I think I enjoyed "Shutterbugs," "Other Music," and "The Shittiest Mixtape Boombox Blast" way more than I was supposed to.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on March 16, 2006, 08:48:49 PM
The only stuff by Aziz Ansari I've seen are the videos on his website, which were pretty funny.  There's some more on YouTube.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Neil on March 20, 2006, 02:37:50 PM
Mitch Hedberg

Holy shit, this man is just...Well, there aren't even words to descibe him...shit,

"I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen, but he told me that he could not read the letter because he thought i was trying to show him specific parts of the paper."
Best one liners ever, i also enjoy daniel tosh, and the old robin williams and eddie murphy...If we pretend his music career was just a secret joke, then we could consider him the greatest comedian of all time.

My girl likes to party all the time, party all the time
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on March 26, 2006, 09:28:08 PM
(http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f149/squints06/PattonOswalt.jpg)

here's a picture of the Pat-man after a show in Austin a couple weeks ago. He looks..um..tired?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on March 27, 2006, 12:16:44 AM
here's a picture of the Pat-man after a show in Austin a couple weeks ago. He looks..um..tired?

He WAS tired.  He got drunk the first set and sobered up the second.  He's a comedy Superman.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: grand theft sparrow on September 06, 2006, 02:37:26 PM
I didn't want to start a new topic for this, though maybe I should, but I didn't think it was worth it. 

Did anyone bother to watch the Dane Cook HBO special on Monday night?  It was just awful.  I know some of you are saying, "No shit," but I saw him at Caroline's Comedy Club about three years ago, back before he was famous, and he was funny.  I don't sit at home and memorize his CDs but I've always thought he was at least funny.

Those days are over. 

This show was so excruciatingly long, pandering, and flat.  First off, it was too big a venue for him.  Since he's insistent upon connecting with each person in his audience, a sports arena in Boston holds WAY too many people for him to reach.  Also, because it was so big, it wreaked havoc on his timing because he was trying to get those people in the rafters.  And his delivery is his number one trick.  Here, he just came off like a trained dancing monkey.  George Carlin and Eddie Izzard play to large groups and don't have this problem, largely because their shows are so tightly written and performed (Carlin's last special notwithstanding) that audience participation/acknowledgment isn't a factor.  The show would have probably been just that much better if he had just forgotten the audience was even there. 

And the material was just weak.  His opening bit about lying to an old friend about going to his party wasn't particularly inspired and it pretty much proved how full of himself he really is.  And it lasted almost 15 minutes!  God, it was so bad.  The rest of the show wasn't much better and he didn't really have a good closing bit either.  It just kind of seemed like he ran out of jokes.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on September 06, 2006, 02:48:19 PM
I haven't seen it because I don't have HBO, but the comedy community (the ones that matter, at least) is all abuzz about how shitty it was... exciting to see that his bullshit may actually be revealed to the masses soon.

He's fucking awful... he tells (poorly) a combination of stolen and non-joke jokes.  He used to be mildly entertaining, but it wore off and fast.  He's a miserable excuse for a comic and hopefully his career will end soon.  Unfortunately, he has a giant following of frat-boys that probably wouldn't know funny if funny fucked them in the funny hole with a funny dick.  These guys keep this hack in business.

Anyway... glad to hear you thought it was so awful.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Ravi on September 06, 2006, 03:00:25 PM
I haven't seen anything he's done after his Comedy Central Presents (the one with the joke about shaking hands at Catholic mass), but it sounds like he's gotten worse.  I kind of want to see his HBO special like I want to see a car accident.  You know you shouldn't look, but dammit, its just too big of a mess not to.

His fans have to grow up someday.  I think his popularity will drop in the next 5 years.  That is, unless he suddenly becomes funny.  Or am I being too optimistic?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: grand theft sparrow on September 06, 2006, 03:29:33 PM
from the LA Times...

Dane Cook, pain-free comedian
Ever wonder what would happen if comedy lost its angst? Just take a look at its new smiley face.

By Paul Brownfield, Times Staff Writer
September 3, 2006


Comedians aren't supposed to be happy, just the opposite, but Dane Cook is the Disneyland of comics: He's the happiest, most uncomplicated place on Earth.

He's Seacrest-psyched, boy voted most likely. Cutest. Funniest. Coolest. For Cook, this is no ironic pose à la Andy Kaufman; it's a whole insufferable ethos, integral to the rise of his career. He's become huge by asserting that the comic mind does not come from alienation and restlessness but from adoration and social connection — the comic as your instant-messaging best pal.

To watch his HBO special "Vicious Circle," which airs Monday night, is to be both disappointed in Cook for foisting his surface act on people with such energetic impunity and in audiences for drinking the stuff in as if it were vanguard.

You could also, for variety's sake, be disappointed in HBO for giving the wrong comedian the right kind of platform — a 90-minute concert act recorded recently at the FleetCenter arena in Cook's native Boston, apparently in front of some 18,000 people.

To the question, "What happened to stand-up?" Cook might very well be the depressing answer: It put product in its hair, dumbed itself down and became as eager to please as a trainee at a TGI Friday's. And still it got itself a series, "Tourgasm," which ended its run on HBO last month.

"Tourgasm" was a conspicuously slight and infomercial-like ad to boost Cook's rabid popularity among college-age fans; the rest was filler, Cook and his three comedian underlings in various states of homoerotic, roughhousing repose.

Now HBO, as part of a multiplatform deal, presents Cook in a stand-up special. These were once upon a time the province of active minds and voices (Robert Klein, George Carlin, Roseanne, Chris Rock). But having long watched the brand slacken, HBO has now lent it to the boy most likely to help them succeed wooing younger subscribers.

It makes sense, business sense, anyway: Cook might very well be the next Rob Schneider, or Tom Green, or Ashton Kutcher, or some three-headed beast incorporating some of each. ("Employee of the Month," a comedy in which he costars with rumored girlfriend Jessica Simpson, opens next month. Others are on the assembly line.)



An online connection, the payoff

Cook, then, is a comic-on-the-verge, but with the twist of the new — he's huge among the kids who download his bits off iTunes and onto their cell-phones.

It was on the Internet that Cook, who'd been kicking around in clubs and TV series for years, launched himself anew, advertising his cute-boy looks and general availability for human-to-comedian contact.

Single White Comic Seeks Fan Base for Meaningful Relationship. Reportedly on a $25,000 gamble, Cook launched his own website, and his dogged use of the popular networking site MySpace (where he supposedly has over 1 million "friends") is seen as a model for building one's career, with the Improv chain signing up with MySpace this summer to offer their acts as chat friends.

"Treat the Web like your house," Cook advised comics in Wired magazine of the importance of Internet politicking. "When people knock, answer."

And yet there's something perverse about this. Comics, the best of them, are uniquely antisocial beings offstage, unreachable and idiosyncratic, the audience a kind of natural enemy to be won over with raw need and biting truth. Even multimillionaire Jerry Seinfeld refused to cash in on his popularity post-"Seinfeld," instead forcing himself as an artist to win over audiences through the crafting of a new act, as chronicled in his documentary "Comedian."

But Seinfeld is of the generation raised on Lenny Bruce and Klein. Cook, it seems, is looking to take the audience to lunch.

"There's so many things that I want to let you guys into my world about," is the ungrammatical sentence with which Cook greets his fans at the FleetCenter.

They're screaming like he's Justin Timberlake, and maybe he is. For what is demoralizing is the swagger in the face of such vanilla material, the total absence — like Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch — of self-loathing.

In Cook's act there is no war, no class divide, no crime, no fear, no news, no world. There is only solicitation, the "so many things that I want to let you guys into my world about."

"I'll say this, man," goes one set-up, "the thing I love, even more than the movie itself, I love — we all love — the previews.

"And I'll tell you why." Pause. "Because it doesn't matter what anybody here does for a living, whatever your occupation is, the reason you love the previews, it's because it's the one time, in all our lives, that we get to be a critic. Because you know as soon as that preview ends you're gonna turn to the person next to you, and you're gonna review that film."

At this point I experienced several strange feelings — déjà vu that I was back at the Improv and it was actually 1987 mixed with a sense that I'd misplaced the punch line. Fortunately, Cook proceeded to illustrate the joke he'd just taken too many words to say.

He loves this, the gestures. He pantomimes, in fact, nearly everything that comes out of his mouth. Two fingers down the side of the cheek for crying, wiggling the fingers for typing an e-mail, scribbling motion for writing down directions.

It's a way not to have to bother with language. Cook is disinterested in words and sometimes sloppy with references (he doesn't mean Danny Gans in one joke, he probably means Lance Burton; he doesn't mean baseball umpire in another, he means catcher).



A positive spin

"There's a stigma with comics that they are all so dark and ball-busty and negative," Cook said in July, during the summer TV press tour promoting "Tourgasm" and "Vicious Circle."

"And sure. There's that element," he said. "I don't roll with that. I never hung out with that, you know, and that was even what 'Tourgasm' was about, was putting out a more positive, productive take on what a — what a comic is."

Comedy has traditionally sprung up as a reaction against oppression, internal and external — from the pogrom to the contemporary neurosis. Cook's view flies in the face of what we know, generally, about every significant stand-up voice from Milton Berle on forward. Onstage, Cook exudes the need for attention that all comics have but none of the pain behind the need.

To be sure, feelings of outsider-ness do not guarantee you'll be funny. Drug addiction contributed to performances by Bruce in which he was a paranoid rambler; Kaufman delighted in leaving his audiences out in the cold and openly hostile. But it's the vulnerability that contributed to their artistry.

It seemed more than a little symbolic, in fact, that Cook was blowing up last year while Mitch Hedberg, a comedian whose following mirrored Cook's (Internet fan base, transcendent rock-star aura), died of a drug overdose in a New Jersey motel. Onstage, Hedberg cut an odd Kurt Cobain-like figure — tall, skinny, beatnik clothes, hair over his eyes. He talked in idiosyncratic, absurdist mumbles ("I tried to walk into a Target, but I missed"; "I don't own a microwave, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks [things]") and was afraid to lock eyes with the audience. He feared the very thing at which Cook excels — tearing down the wall between the audience and himself but he loved that which Cook doesn't: the economy, the importance, of words.

Hedberg's memorial was held at the Friars Club in Beverly Hills; half a dozen comics eulogized him, and it was odd, the sight of them reduced to tears, or trying to reduce themselves, insofar as comedians can feel for one another. Nobody deplored the drug habit that had claimed Hedberg's life. It was understood, at least among his peers, that Hedberg's act would not have existed without his demons. It's what you figure about Dave Chappelle, who walked away from a $50-million Comedy Central deal to hide away in South Africa. Or Drake Sather, a comedian and writer ("The Larry Sanders Show," "Zoolander") who on March 3, 2004, shot himself to death in his downtown loft. "On the wall above the head of the bed are multiple notes," the coroner's report reads, in part. "These notes are to the police officers and crime scene photographers and coroner staff. Many of the notes are humorous comments about suicide and the end of life."



Committed to keeping in touch

"You know, Dane … we put the first episode of 'Tourgasm' up on iTunes, and it became the No. 1 podcast — the No. 1 downloaded podcast almost instantly," HBO Chairman Chris Albrecht told the press in July. "So his audience is an important audience, I think, to the future of HBO, which is, who are the subscribers coming into the category, who are the young people that might want to subscribe. And for them, having Dane is very important."

Not long ago, I signed up to get e-mail alerts for Cook's "Dane-casts" — the news about his life and career that Cook uploads onto his website.

"Everybody's saying, 'Dane, what's going on, "Tourgasm" is coming to a close,' " Cook said on July 23, from a hotel room in Vancouver, Canada, where he was shooting a movie.

"You gotta watch tonight," he said, "I go back and visit my high school, where I graduated from. And it's pretty — and it's pretty touching. Very unexpected things happened when I went back to Arlington High School."

He then responded to some e-mail, some of which had to do with the death of his mother July 3 from cancer.

"The support from everybody has just been really incredible," he said. "It's new. It's a new thing for me to be dealing with, but I'm really OK."

As he went through more e-mails, a song by Weezer came on his iPod. "IPod shuffle's being good to me today," he said. "A couple more of these and then I gotta split, I gotta vamoose, gotta study my lines for tomorrow."

This is, for now, the Cook legacy: He signals the end of the comedian as we knew him — reclusive, angry, socially awkward, anguished, self-defeating.

Negative.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
paul.brownfield@latimes.com

Brownfield is a Times TV critic.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on September 06, 2006, 04:17:30 PM
It's well written, but it's too long to reach the target audience, so Dane Cook's onstage played out antics will still go on to milk more money.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on January 24, 2007, 03:08:10 PM
It's a little long, but definitely worth the read.  It's a letter from David Cross to Larry the Cable Guy.

http://www.bobanddavid.com/david.asp?artId=183
--------------------------------------------------------

Thursday, December 01, 2005
AN OPEN LETTER TO LARRY THE CABLE GUY

Hi everybody!

The following is a letter I wrote after picking up Git-R-Done - The Larry The Cable Guy Story (ghost written by Susan Sontag). I have to warn you that it's nearly 11 pages long. But I think it's chock full of life lessons for all of us and if you're not careful... you just might learn something!

An open letter to Larry The Cable Guy:

Hello Larry,

It's me, David Cross. Recently I was shooting something for my friends at "Wonder Showzen" (the funniest, most subversive comedy on American T.V. at the moment) and when we were taking a break one of the guys on the show asked me if I had seen some article in something somewhere wherein you were interviewed to promote your new book "Please-Git-R-Done" (published by Crown Books $23.95 U.S.) and they asked about your devoting a chapter to slamming me and the "P.C. Left". Since I stopped following your career shortly after you stopped going on stage wearing a tool belt with cable wrapped around your neck (around your appearance at "Laffs 'n' Food" in Enid, Oklahoma Aug 23-26 1999?) I said I wasn't aware of the article. They went on to tell me that you said basically (and I am not quoting but paraphrasing their recall) that I could kiss your ass, that I've never been to one of your shows (true) and that I didn't know your audience (untrue).

SO, I went and got your book, "Gitting-R-Donned", and excitedly skimmed past the joke about that one time you farted and something farty happened, on past the thing about the fat girl who farted and finally found it, . Well, needless to say I farted. I farted up a fartstorm right there in the Flyin' J Travel Center. I fartingly bought the book and took it home with an excitement I haven't experienced since I got Bertha Chudfarter's Grandma drunk and she took her teeth out and blew me as I was finger banging her while wearing a Jesus sock puppet in the back of the boiler room at The Church of the Redeemer off I-20 (I don't care who you are, that's funny.)

Anyhoo, I got home and read the good parts. It seems that you were pissed off at Rolling Stone magazine, and I can understand why. You made some good points in your argument as well. I agree that there is an eliteism and bias in the press and too often a writer will include asides to show the readers how smart he or she is and how "above it" they are. But come on! Surely you can't be surprised, or worse, hurt or offended by this. You even say in the book that you knew what you were getting into (Rolling Stone being all "lefty" and whatnot). Certainly I'm not surprised that they took a ten minute phone conversation with me and chose to print only the most inflammatory paragraph within it. That's what they do.

But I want to address some of the things you write about me in "Git-to-Gittin'-r-Done". In response to the Rolling Stone article, but first let me say this; you are very mistaken if you think that I don't know your audience. Hell, I could've been heckled by the parents of some of the very people that come see you now. I grew up in Roswell, Georgia (near the Funny Bone and not far from The Punch Line). The very first time I went on stage was at The Punch Line in Sandy Springs in 1982 when I was 17. I cut my teeth in the south and my first road gigs ever were in Augusta, Charleston, Baton Rouge, and Louisville. I remember them very well, specifically because of the audience. I remember thinking (occasionally, not all the time) "what a bunch of dumb redneck, easily entertained, ignorant motherfuckers. I can't believe the stupid shit they think is funny." So, yes, I do know your audience, and they suck. And they're simple. And please don't mistake this as coming from a place of bitterness because I didn't "make it" there or, I'm not as successful as you because that's not it at all. Since I was a kid I've always been a little over sensitive to the glorification and rewarding of dumb. The "salt of the earth, regular, every day folk" (or lowest common denominator) who see the world, and the people like me in it, as on some sort of secular mission to take away their flag lapels and plaster-of-paris jesus television adornments strike me as childishly paranoid. But perhaps the funniest (oddest) thing in your book is you taking me to task for being P.C. Have you heard my act?! I'll match your un-P.C.ness any day of the week my friend. I truly believe, and have said onstage amongst other things that, orthodox Jews are bar none, the most annoying people, as a group, that walk this earth. I absolutely refuse to say the term "African-American". It's a ridiculous and ill-applied label that was accepted with a thoughtless rush just to make white people feel at ease and slightly noble. I also believe that in the right setting that, as unfortunate as it may be, retarded people can be a near constant source of entertainment (fact!). Larry, whether northern, southern, straight, gay, male, female, liberal, conservative, Christian or Jew, I've walked them all. It didn't matter if it was a room full of "enlightened" hippie lesbian wicans at Catch A Rising Star in Cambridge, MA or literally hundreds of students at the University of St. Louis (a Jesuit school) or a roomful of the cutest, angriest frat boys in Baton Rouge all threatening to beat me up, I un-P.C.'d the shit out of them. That's another thing that bothers me too. I honestly believe that if we had worked a week together at whatever dumb-ass club in American Strip Mall #298347 in God's Country U.S.A and hung out that week and got good and drunk after the shows, that you and I would've been making each other laugh (I imagine we would have politely disagreed on a few things) but not only would we be laughing but we'd often be laughing at the expense of some of the audience members at that nights show and you know it. I'll address your easy, bullshit sanctimonious "don't mess with my audience" crap further on. But for now, let's "Gittle-R-Ding-Dong-Done!"

Okay, here's what I said in the RS interview: "He's good at what he does. It's a lot of anti-gay, racist humor -- which people like in America - all couched in 'I'm telling it like it is.' He's in the right place at the right time for that gee-shucks, proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel, selling-ring tones-act. That's where we are as a nation now. We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride."

You took umbrage at my calling a lot of your act anti-gay and racist and said that "...according to Cross and the politically correct police, any white comedians who mention the word 'black' or say something humorous but faintly negative about any race are racists."

Well, first of all, your act is racist. Maybe not all the time, but it certainly can be. Here, let me quote you back, word for word, some of your "faintly negative" humor and I'll let people judge for themselves.

Re: Abu Ghraib Torture -

"Let me ask some of these commie rag head carpet flying wicker basket on the head balancing scumbags something!"

Re: Having a Muslim cleric give the opening prayer at the Republican Convention -

"What the hell is this the cartoon network? The Republicans had a muslim give the opening prayer at there (sic) convention! What the hell's going on around here! Is Muslim now the official religion of the United States!... First these peckerheads ( Ironically, "peckerhead" was a derogatory word slaves and their offspring used to describe white people) fly planes into towers and now theys (sic) prayin' before conventions! People say not all of em did that and I say who gives a rats fat ass! That's a fricken slap in the face to New York city by having some muslim sum-bitch give the invocation at the republican convention! This country pretty much bans the Christian religion (the religion of George Washington and John Wayne) virtually from anything public and then they got us watchin' this muslim BS!! Ya wanna pray to allah then drag yer flea infested ass over to where they pray to allah at!" End Quote. So... yeah. There you go. This quote goes on and on but my favorite part is when you say towards the end, "...now look, I love all people (except terrorist countries that want to kill us)..."

There are numerous examples and I don't think I need to reprint any more. You get the idea. Oh, what the hell, here's one more - "They're dead, get over it! Poor little sandy asses! I'm sure all them dead folks'd they'd killed give 40 shekels or whatever kinda money these inbred sumbitches use, but I'd give 40 of 'em whatever it is to be humiliated instead of dead!"

Okay Larry The Cable Guy, I will ignore the irony of a big ole southern redneck character actually using "inbred" as an insult, as well as the fact that a shekel is currency from Israel, the towel heads sworn enemy. But at least you're passionate about what you see as inhumane injustice (not on a global level of course, but on a national level) and the simple black and white of what's right and what's wrong. It's kinda like you're this guy who speaks for all these poor, unfortunate souls out there who wear shirts with blue collars on them, work hard all day to put food on the table for their family (unlike people who wear shirts with white collars or wear scrubs or t-shirts or dresses or costumes that consist of flannel shirts with the sleeves cut-off and old trucker hats) and pray to the American Flag of Jesus to protect them from the evils of muslims, queers, illegal immigrants, and the liberal jews who run Hollywood and the media. I guess one could say that you're "telling it like it is". And considering the vast amount of over-simplification you employ to describe with sweeping generalizations, all of America and the World that "don't make no sense to you", as well as your lack of sensitivity, and second grade grammar, one might be led to think that you are somewhat proud of not appearing (or being) too intellectual. Combine that with your sucker appeal to the knee-jerk white Christian patriot in us all who would much rather hear 87 fart jokes than hear a joke in which the President (the current one, not the last one) or the Pope, or Born-Again Christians, or Lee Greenwood get called on their shit for being the hypocrites that they are, and I think we've got a winner!

About being Anti-Gay. I honestly take that back. I do not think that you are anti-gay, I didn't choose those words wisely. Your stuff isn't necessarily anti-gay but rather stupid and easy. "Madder than a queer with lock jaw on Valentines Day." That's not that funny, I don't care who you are. It's just sooo easy. I mean, over half the planet sucks dick so why gays? Why not truck stop whores, or Hollywood Starlets or housewives? Because when you say "queer" you get an easy laugh. End of story.

As for being a multi-millionaire in disguise, that's just merely a matter of personal taste for me. I do not begrudge you your money at all, it is sincerely hard earned and you deserve whatever people want to give to you. What sticks in my craw about that stuff is the blatant and (again, personal taste) gross marketing and selling of this bullshit character to your beloved fans. Now look, if someone wants to pay top dollar to come to one of your shows and then drop a couple hundred more on "Git-R-Done" lighters and hats and t-shirts and windshield stickers and trailer hitches and beer koozies and fishing hats and shot glasses etc, then good for you. I just think it's a little crass and belies the "good ole boy" blue collar thing you represent. But that's no big deal.

Now, as for the last statement that "We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride."

Well, I think that's true. When you can rally the troops (so to speak) with a lazy, "latte drinking, tofu eating" generalization of Liberals and "Back ass rag fags" to describe Arabs, then, yeah, I think that falls in the "ignorant" category. I think that with even the slightest attention to the double standard and hypocrisy of both the Left and the Right in this country (if not all of the Christian Extremists as a whole) coupled with the bullshit they lazily swallow and parrot back while happily ignoring the gross inhumane treatment of those that aren't them so that we may have cheap sneakers and oil and slightly less taxes (although I'm sure the bracket you're in now gives you a ton of tax money back), then you could maybe see my point. Now here's the best part - in your book you preface the above quote by saying, "...but I guess I'm not as intellectual as David Cross. In that Rolling Stone article, he sure showed us what a deep thinker he is by sayin' "America is in a stage of vague intellectual pride." Jesus Christ can you even fucking read?! Whoever read that article to you butchered the actual quote. The quote that was right fucking in front of their face! I would fire your official reader and have them replaced with a Hooters Girl who doesn't fart. That way you have something nice to look at while you are getting your misinformation.

As for "anti-intellectual pride", that is Larry The Cable Guy in spades. Let me quote you again (from an on-line interview, "I consider my jokes to be very jeuvinille (sic). Stuff a 14 year old would laugh at because that's the ...sence (sic) of humor I have.". Hmmm, okay. That was easy.

Well, I suppose I've already covered part of that in the above. But you also specifically dumb down your speech while making hundreds of purposefully grammatical errors. How do I know this? It's on page 17 of your book wherein you describe how you would "Larry" up your commentaries for radio. What does it mean to "Larry" something up? Take a wild guess. The reason you feel the need to "Larry" something up? Because you are not that dumb. I mean you, Dan Whitney, the guy who's name the bank account is under. You were born and raised in Nebraska (hardly The South), went to private school and moved to Florida when you were 16. This is when you developed your accent?! Not exactly the developmental years are they? At age 16 that's the kind of thing you have to make a concerted effort to adopt. Did you hire a voice coach? Or were you like one of those people who go to England for a week and come back sounding like an extra from "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"? As you said yourself in an interview once, "I can pop in and out of it pretty much whenever I want". In your book on page 89 you say in reference to the "gee-shucks" millionaire comment, "...see, to his (David's) mind, bein' well paid means I'm no longer real and I can't be a country boy anymore. It's just an act." Hey, it's always been an act! That's my fucking point! You admit it yourself so cut the indignation shit. And I am in no way deriding your work ethic. You clearly have more fart jokes than most and for that I applaud you. You go on to talk about how hard you work and life on the road and living on Waffle House and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I get it, we’ve all been there and played shitty, degrading gigs and sacrificed etc, etc. Then you say, "...this (the personal attack) was different because David basically hammered my fans in that RS article by implying that they were ignorant. He crossed the line when he railed against them, so I had to tell ya what I felt about that. He can hammer me all he wants, but when he screwed with my fans, it was time for me to say something." Aww, that's so sweet and egregious. I can't stand that fan ass kissing bullshit. You and Dane Cook ought to get together and have a "my-fan's-are-the-greatest-people-on-earth-and-that's-why-I-do-this" off. You could both sell a shit load of merch too. But having said that, I would truly love to get some of your fans and my fans in a room together to debate some of the finer points on comedy, music, culture, the issues facing our country today and just about anything else we might find worthy of discussion. My fans are pretty smart as well. They are also, I imagine, as "hard-working" as your fans. Not all of them of course, but most. And I'm sure that they may come up with some genuinely interesting, insightful points (and would do so without spouting a bunch of meaningless Christian platitudes). And if you really, truly want to respect your fans, lower your ticket price as well as the price of your ubiquitous merchandise. I'm sure all those hard-working Americans could use the extra money now that the budgets are being cut drastically from Transportation, Education, Health and Human Services, HUD, Dept of the Interior, EPA, Farm Service Agency, FEMA, Agricultural, FDA, VA, FDA, FHA, National Center for Environmental Health, and numerous other departments and agencies that they might directly rely on for help. All so that we can pay off this massive tax cut during "war" time that we're all getting (them not so much though). Oh well, that's just one of those "political" things that I think about occasionally.

Anyway, I just wanted to address the stuff you wrote about me and clear some things up. Mostly the air around here... I just farted!!!!!

Think-Of-Something-To-Do-And-See-That-Task-To-Completion!!!!!

Fart,
David Cross
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Pubrick on January 25, 2007, 06:35:13 AM
It's a little long, but definitely worth the read.  It's a letter from David Cross to Larry the Cable Guy.

http://www.bobanddavid.com/david.asp?artId=183
--------------------------------------------------------

Thursday, December 01, 2005
AN OPEN LETTER TO LARRY THE CABLE GUY

Hi everybody!

The following is a letter I wrote after picking up Git-R-Done - The Larry The Cable Guy Story (ghost written by Susan Sontag). I have to warn you that it's nearly 11 pages long. But I think it's chock full of life lessons for all of us and if you're not careful... you just might learn something!

An open letter to Larry The Cable Guy:

Hello Larry,

It's me, David Cross. Recently I was shooting something for my friends at "Wonder Showzen" (the funniest, most subversive comedy on American T.V. at the moment) and when we were taking a break one of the guys on the show asked me if I had seen some article in something somewhere wherein you were interviewed to promote your new book "Please-Git-R-Done" (published by Crown Books $23.95 U.S.) and they asked about your devoting a chapter to slamming me and the "P.C. Left". Since I stopped following your career shortly after you stopped going on stage wearing a tool belt with cable wrapped around your neck (around your appearance at "Laffs 'n' Food" in Enid, Oklahoma Aug 23-26 1999?) I said I wasn't aware of the article. They went on to tell me that you said basically (and I am not quoting but paraphrasing their recall) that I could kiss your ass, that I've never been to one of your shows (true) and that I didn't know your audience (untrue).

SO, I went and got your book, "Gitting-R-Donned", and excitedly skimmed past the joke about that one time you farted and something farty happened, on past the thing about the fat girl who farted and finally found it, . Well, needless to say I farted. I farted up a fartstorm right there in the Flyin' J Travel Center. I fartingly bought the book and took it home with an excitement I haven't experienced since I got Bertha Chudfarter's Grandma drunk and she took her teeth out and blew me as I was finger banging her while wearing a Jesus sock puppet in the back of the boiler room at The Church of the Redeemer off I-20 (I don't care who you are, that's funny.)

Anyhoo, I got home and read the good parts. It seems that you were pissed off at Rolling Stone magazine, and I can understand why. You made some good points in your argument as well. I agree that there is an eliteism and bias in the press and too often a writer will include asides to show the readers how smart he or she is and how "above it" they are. But come on! Surely you can't be surprised, or worse, hurt or offended by this. You even say in the book that you knew what you were getting into (Rolling Stone being all "lefty" and whatnot). Certainly I'm not surprised that they took a ten minute phone conversation with me and chose to print only the most inflammatory paragraph within it. That's what they do.

But I want to address some of the things you write about me in "Git-to-Gittin'-r-Done". In response to the Rolling Stone article, but first let me say this; you are very mistaken if you think that I don't know your audience. Hell, I could've been heckled by the parents of some of the very people that come see you now. I grew up in Roswell, Georgia (near the Funny Bone and not far from The Punch Line). The very first time I went on stage was at The Punch Line in Sandy Springs in 1982 when I was 17. I cut my teeth in the south and my first road gigs ever were in Augusta, Charleston, Baton Rouge, and Louisville. I remember them very well, specifically because of the audience. I remember thinking (occasionally, not all the time) "what a bunch of dumb redneck, easily entertained, ignorant motherfuckers. I can't believe the stupid shit they think is funny." So, yes, I do know your audience, and they suck. And they're simple. And please don't mistake this as coming from a place of bitterness because I didn't "make it" there or, I'm not as successful as you because that's not it at all. Since I was a kid I've always been a little over sensitive to the glorification and rewarding of dumb. The "salt of the earth, regular, every day folk" (or lowest common denominator) who see the world, and the people like me in it, as on some sort of secular mission to take away their flag lapels and plaster-of-paris jesus television adornments strike me as childishly paranoid. But perhaps the funniest (oddest) thing in your book is you taking me to task for being P.C. Have you heard my act?! I'll match your un-P.C.ness any day of the week my friend. I truly believe, and have said onstage amongst other things that, orthodox Jews are bar none, the most annoying people, as a group, that walk this earth. I absolutely refuse to say the term "African-American". It's a ridiculous and ill-applied label that was accepted with a thoughtless rush just to make white people feel at ease and slightly noble. I also believe that in the right setting that, as unfortunate as it may be, retarded people can be a near constant source of entertainment (fact!). Larry, whether northern, southern, straight, gay, male, female, liberal, conservative, Christian or Jew, I've walked them all. It didn't matter if it was a room full of "enlightened" hippie lesbian wicans at Catch A Rising Star in Cambridge, MA or literally hundreds of students at the University of St. Louis (a Jesuit school) or a roomful of the cutest, angriest frat boys in Baton Rouge all threatening to beat me up, I un-P.C.'d the shit out of them. That's another thing that bothers me too. I honestly believe that if we had worked a week together at whatever dumb-ass club in American Strip Mall #298347 in God's Country U.S.A and hung out that week and got good and drunk after the shows, that you and I would've been making each other laugh (I imagine we would have politely disagreed on a few things) but not only would we be laughing but we'd often be laughing at the expense of some of the audience members at that nights show and you know it. I'll address your easy, bullshit sanctimonious "don't mess with my audience" crap further on. But for now, let's "Gittle-R-Ding-Dong-Done!"

Okay, here's what I said in the RS interview: "He's good at what he does. It's a lot of anti-gay, racist humor -- which people like in America - all couched in 'I'm telling it like it is.' He's in the right place at the right time for that gee-shucks, proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel, selling-ring tones-act. That's where we are as a nation now. We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride."

You took umbrage at my calling a lot of your act anti-gay and racist and said that "...according to Cross and the politically correct police, any white comedians who mention the word 'black' or say something humorous but faintly negative about any race are racists."

Well, first of all, your act is racist. Maybe not all the time, but it certainly can be. Here, let me quote you back, word for word, some of your "faintly negative" humor and I'll let people judge for themselves.

Re: Abu Ghraib Torture -

"Let me ask some of these commie rag head carpet flying wicker basket on the head balancing scumbags something!"

Re: Having a Muslim cleric give the opening prayer at the Republican Convention -

"What the hell is this the cartoon network? The Republicans had a muslim give the opening prayer at there (sic) convention! What the hell's going on around here! Is Muslim now the official religion of the United States!... First these peckerheads ( Ironically, "peckerhead" was a derogatory word slaves and their offspring used to describe white people) fly planes into towers and now theys (sic) prayin' before conventions! People say not all of em did that and I say who gives a rats fat ass! That's a fricken slap in the face to New York city by having some muslim sum-bitch give the invocation at the republican convention! This country pretty much bans the Christian religion (the religion of George Washington and John Wayne) virtually from anything public and then they got us watchin' this muslim BS!! Ya wanna pray to allah then drag yer flea infested ass over to where they pray to allah at!" End Quote. So... yeah. There you go. This quote goes on and on but my favorite part is when you say towards the end, "...now look, I love all people (except terrorist countries that want to kill us)..."

There are numerous examples and I don't think I need to reprint any more. You get the idea. Oh, what the hell, here's one more - "They're dead, get over it! Poor little sandy asses! I'm sure all them dead folks'd they'd killed give 40 shekels or whatever kinda money these inbred sumbitches use, but I'd give 40 of 'em whatever it is to be humiliated instead of dead!"

Okay Larry The Cable Guy, I will ignore the irony of a big ole southern redneck character actually using "inbred" as an insult, as well as the fact that a shekel is currency from Israel, the towel heads sworn enemy. But at least you're passionate about what you see as inhumane injustice (not on a global level of course, but on a national level) and the simple black and white of what's right and what's wrong. It's kinda like you're this guy who speaks for all these poor, unfortunate souls out there who wear shirts with blue collars on them, work hard all day to put food on the table for their family (unlike people who wear shirts with white collars or wear scrubs or t-shirts or dresses or costumes that consist of flannel shirts with the sleeves cut-off and old trucker hats) and pray to the American Flag of Jesus to protect them from the evils of muslims, queers, illegal immigrants, and the liberal jews who run Hollywood and the media. I guess one could say that you're "telling it like it is". And considering the vast amount of over-simplification you employ to describe with sweeping generalizations, all of America and the World that "don't make no sense to you", as well as your lack of sensitivity, and second grade grammar, one might be led to think that you are somewhat proud of not appearing (or being) too intellectual. Combine that with your sucker appeal to the knee-jerk white Christian patriot in us all who would much rather hear 87 fart jokes than hear a joke in which the President (the current one, not the last one) or the Pope, or Born-Again Christians, or Lee Greenwood get called on their shit for being the hypocrites that they are, and I think we've got a winner!

About being Anti-Gay. I honestly take that back. I do not think that you are anti-gay, I didn't choose those words wisely. Your stuff isn't necessarily anti-gay but rather stupid and easy. "Madder than a queer with lock jaw on Valentines Day." That's not that funny, I don't care who you are. It's just sooo easy. I mean, over half the planet sucks dick so why gays? Why not truck stop whores, or Hollywood Starlets or housewives? Because when you say "queer" you get an easy laugh. End of story.

As for being a multi-millionaire in disguise, that's just merely a matter of personal taste for me. I do not begrudge you your money at all, it is sincerely hard earned and you deserve whatever people want to give to you. What sticks in my craw about that stuff is the blatant and (again, personal taste) gross marketing and selling of this bullshit character to your beloved fans. Now look, if someone wants to pay top dollar to come to one of your shows and then drop a couple hundred more on "Git-R-Done" lighters and hats and t-shirts and windshield stickers and trailer hitches and beer koozies and fishing hats and shot glasses etc, then good for you. I just think it's a little crass and belies the "good ole boy" blue collar thing you represent. But that's no big deal.

Now, as for the last statement that "We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride."

Well, I think that's true. When you can rally the troops (so to speak) with a lazy, "latte drinking, tofu eating" generalization of Liberals and "Back ass rag fags" to describe Arabs, then, yeah, I think that falls in the "ignorant" category. I think that with even the slightest attention to the double standard and hypocrisy of both the Left and the Right in this country (if not all of the Christian Extremists as a whole) coupled with the bullshit they lazily swallow and parrot back while happily ignoring the gross inhumane treatment of those that aren't them so that we may have cheap sneakers and oil and slightly less taxes (although I'm sure the bracket you're in now gives you a ton of tax money back), then you could maybe see my point. Now here's the best part - in your book you preface the above quote by saying, "...but I guess I'm not as intellectual as David Cross. In that Rolling Stone article, he sure showed us what a deep thinker he is by sayin' "America is in a stage of vague intellectual pride." Jesus Christ can you even fucking read?! Whoever read that article to you butchered the actual quote. The quote that was right fucking in front of their face! I would fire your official reader and have them replaced with a Hooters Girl who doesn't fart. That way you have something nice to look at while you are getting your misinformation.

As for "anti-intellectual pride", that is Larry The Cable Guy in spades. Let me quote you again (from an on-line interview, "I consider my jokes to be very jeuvinille (sic). Stuff a 14 year old would laugh at because that's the ...sence (sic) of humor I have.". Hmmm, okay. That was easy.

Well, I suppose I've already covered part of that in the above. But you also specifically dumb down your speech while making hundreds of purposefully grammatical errors. How do I know this? It's on page 17 of your book wherein you describe how you would "Larry" up your commentaries for radio. What does it mean to "Larry" something up? Take a wild guess. The reason you feel the need to "Larry" something up? Because you are not that dumb. I mean you, Dan Whitney, the guy who's name the bank account is under. You were born and raised in Nebraska (hardly The South), went to private school and moved to Florida when you were 16. This is when you developed your accent?! Not exactly the developmental years are they? At age 16 that's the kind of thing you have to make a concerted effort to adopt. Did you hire a voice coach? Or were you like one of those people who go to England for a week and come back sounding like an extra from "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"? As you said yourself in an interview once, "I can pop in and out of it pretty much whenever I want". In your book on page 89 you say in reference to the "gee-shucks" millionaire comment, "...see, to his (David's) mind, bein' well paid means I'm no longer real and I can't be a country boy anymore. It's just an act." Hey, it's always been an act! That's my fucking point! You admit it yourself so cut the indignation shit. And I am in no way deriding your work ethic. You clearly have more fart jokes than most and for that I applaud you. You go on to talk about how hard you work and life on the road and living on Waffle House and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I get it, we’ve all been there and played shitty, degrading gigs and sacrificed etc, etc. Then you say, "...this (the personal attack) was different because David basically hammered my fans in that RS article by implying that they were ignorant. He crossed the line when he railed against them, so I had to tell ya what I felt about that. He can hammer me all he wants, but when he screwed with my fans, it was time for me to say something." Aww, that's so sweet and egregious. I can't stand that fan ass kissing bullshit. You and Dane Cook ought to get together and have a "my-fan's-are-the-greatest-people-on-earth-and-that's-why-I-do-this" off. You could both sell a shit load of merch too. But having said that, I would truly love to get some of your fans and my fans in a room together to debate some of the finer points on comedy, music, culture, the issues facing our country today and just about anything else we might find worthy of discussion. My fans are pretty smart as well. They are also, I imagine, as "hard-working" as your fans. Not all of them of course, but most. And I'm sure that they may come up with some genuinely interesting, insightful points (and would do so without spouting a bunch of meaningless Christian platitudes). And if you really, truly want to respect your fans, lower your ticket price as well as the price of your ubiquitous merchandise. I'm sure all those hard-working Americans could use the extra money now that the budgets are being cut drastically from Transportation, Education, Health and Human Services, HUD, Dept of the Interior, EPA, Farm Service Agency, FEMA, Agricultural, FDA, VA, FDA, FHA, National Center for Environmental Health, and numerous other departments and agencies that they might directly rely on for help. All so that we can pay off this massive tax cut during "war" time that we're all getting (them not so much though). Oh well, that's just one of those "political" things that I think about occasionally.

Anyway, I just wanted to address the stuff you wrote about me and clear some things up. Mostly the air around here... I just farted!!!!!

Think-Of-Something-To-Do-And-See-That-Task-To-Completion!!!!!

Fart,
David Cross


i can't read that many brackets. i'll try again later. looks good tho.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on February 14, 2007, 01:15:30 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnTRSetqvvQ&eurl= (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnTRSetqvvQ&eurl=)

This is great. I'm not the biggest fan of Joe Rogan but here he calls out Carlos Mencia for stealing jokes.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Pubrick on February 15, 2007, 12:46:29 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnTRSetqvvQ&eurl= (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnTRSetqvvQ&eurl=)

This is great. I'm not the biggest fan of Joe Rogan but here he calls out Carlos Mencia for stealing jokes.

This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Carlos Mencia  
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: hedwig on February 15, 2007, 01:01:31 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnTRSetqvvQ&eurl= (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnTRSetqvvQ&eurl=)

This is great. I'm not the biggest fan of Joe Rogan but here he calls out Carlos Mencia for stealing jokes.

This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Carlos Mencia  
that's pretty funny.

you can see the video here: http://www.redban.com/blogy/?p=80

this is exactly how i would expect ned mencia to act when confronted about his bullshit, with a lot of screaming about "whiney bitches" and painfully weak arguments to defend himself. especially the crap about george lopez being jealous of him, saying a jewish guy can't write a (shitty) joke about mexicans, resorting to the "jealous retarded whiny bitch" thing about fifty times. what was he thinking, calling rogan up there? did he think he'd come out of that looking like he'd won?? what a fucking douchebag. the OJ simpson thing was great too.

joe rogan got banned from the comedy store. more info here (http://www.joerogan.net/main.php).
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Pubrick on February 15, 2007, 01:51:54 AM
joe rogan got banned from the comedy store. more info here (http://www.joerogan.net/main.php).

i just read that. i'm no expert on the LA comedy scene, but from what i saw in Minding The Store, that place is doomed with pauly shore.. and the mother is out of it too.

their support of mencia is pretty typical.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: hedwig on February 16, 2007, 08:14:44 AM
Quote from: Joe Rogan on his website
This is starting to get hysterical.
As the fearful little animals scamper to a safe, dry spot on the sinking ship of lies, characters are exposed and karma is radiantly beautiful.

My agent from the Gersh agency, who is the same guy that represents Carlos, spoke to me on the phone today. He told me that he was being "put in the middle of this thing, and forced to make a choice." He said that Carlos wanted to get on the phone with me and end this once and for all, and get this... wanted an apology.
If I didn't do this, he wanted the Gersh agency to either drop me, or he would leave them.


I told them that was fucking hilarious, and said that it's been fun working with them. The fact that they would even consider asking me to do something like that meant I was going to leave them anyway, but the sheer stereotypical "hollywood" nature of conversation actually fucking shocked me.
It was like a scene in a movie. Not even a current movie. More like that Kevin Bacon movie "The Big Picture" that was about the evils of Hollywood from the early 90's.

I hung up the phone and laughed out loud. A real, hard, pleasure filled laugh.

Now can you IMAGINE if I was a young, struggling comic and all this shit went down? THAT is the really ugly part of it.
Now you know why people don't speak up about this shit.

Hollywood eats it's young.
At least the Gersh agency does.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Stefen on February 16, 2007, 09:18:56 AM
I had only known Rogan from MMA matches. Didn't even know he was a comic.

This is all so silly.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on February 19, 2007, 06:05:44 AM
Its easy to find but i just came across Zach Galifianakis' Late World. oh my goodness this is funny stuff
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: hedwig on February 19, 2007, 01:09:46 PM
Its easy to find but i just came across Zach Galifianakis' Late World. oh my goodness this is funny stuff
i loved the episode where there's only one guy in the audience and he barely applauds anything. and the misplaced sound effects.

zach galifianakis is amazing.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Pubrick on March 14, 2007, 07:23:10 AM
i don't know if tom rhodes is anyone, but after tonite he should be known as one of the worst american comedians i've ever seen. i'm watching him right now on a show called Stand Up Australia, which features two comedians every nite for around 15mins each.

not only did he steal one of the jokes mencia was called on (the mexicans building the wall that will keep them out, delivered in the same way that was pointed out above to mencia), he stole others i can't source exactly. his shitty material would be bad enough, and if he hadn't been billed as "legendary" by the idiotic host cos he was making his second appearnace, i might've lowered my expectations.. then he did his whole act as mitch hedberg - voice, mannerisms and everything. at one point he was heckled, some dude in the crowd said "next!" or something like that, which i'd never seen before on the show. but he was alone, cos he was told to leave and everyone else continued to love the douche. during this part he stopped talking like hedberg and responded to the heckler in his normal american accent.

this guy's act was fucking insulting, he had nothing to say about australia so he just did a lot of jokes about England, including but not limited to british food (instead of bombing them the Germans should've dropped cookbooks - ancient right??), and the royal family. and remember, WHILE APING MITCH HEDBERG and thinking no one would notice.

sam simmons on the other hand was fucking brilliant. he had a pre-recorded musical soundtrack that was brilliantly timed with his act and used sparingly. more like a crazy poet with jokes that aren't really funny, he's over-excited and apparently unaware of anyone else in the room.. but the atmosphere is sincere and this transforms his otherwise random monologue about monkeys being great lovers into something special. the sharp contrast to the shameless hack that went on before must've confused the audience cos they didn't find him that hilarious.

the problem with this show (on what used to be called the comedy channel, now just "Comedy", on australian cable), is that it's hosted by the biggest douche in australian comedy. his name is Cameron Knight and he has a catchphrase where he says "touch it" instead of saying goodbye.. that's all you need to know about him.

stand up is dead.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on March 21, 2007, 11:26:52 AM
http://www.redban.com/blogy/ (http://www.redban.com/blogy/)

Carlos steals a joke from....FUCKING BILL COSBY!?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: hedwig on March 21, 2007, 01:55:19 PM
this is much better because it's not a case of stealing a shitty third-rate joke about mexicans like in the rogan thing. here he's ripping an entire bit from one of the most famous and respected stand-up acts in the history of the artform. even if lily tomlin killed mencia's mother, there would be no way to justify this. cool.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: polkablues on March 21, 2007, 08:10:30 PM
Fuck Carlos Mencia and never stop.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on March 22, 2007, 10:49:25 AM
And to think, he was such a brilliant, shining star before this whole debacle.

Carlos Mencia, may you rest in peace.

Duh-duhduh.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on June 28, 2010, 03:11:56 PM
Perhaps the rest of this should continue in the stand-up thread as opposed to top 5, but that's getting technical

Is this the one?

As much as i like the guy, i don't really find paul f tompkins that funny.

Oh, Squints, I didn't know you didn't like standup comedy.
(Seriously though, it baffles me when people who seem to have any trace of good taste don't think PFT is funny... what standups do you like?).

Here's my favorite, since I live full-time with my lips puckered to Patton Oswalt's ass: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBguQZzXzyw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBguQZzXzyw)

I was at this show, the guy was even at my table being annoying the entire time.  I can hear my laugh on the album.
He actually kept going and then some other guy made a comment and Patton tore into him too.  I think the second heckler came off as more of a victim though so it's probably for the best that didn't make the album.

RE: Mencia (since he was the last thing discussed in this thread over three years ago), if you guys haven't already, you should listen to WTF, Marc Maron's Podcast.  He did a two-part interview with Mencia.  The first part Mencia defends himself against people who think he steals his jokes, then Marc starts interviewing people who have worked with Mencia and witnessed his joke stealing.  For the second part, Marc brings all that shit back to Mencia and Mencia basically melts down, gets crazy defensive, and tries to backpedal after saying "I wish I could say I'm sorry".

Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on June 28, 2010, 05:46:55 PM


As much as i like the guy, i don't really find paul f tompkins that funny.

Oh, Squints, I didn't know you didn't like standup comedy.
(Seriously though, it baffles me when people who seem to have any trace of good taste don't think PFT is funny... what standups do you like?).



oh there's a ton of comedians. mostly ones that everyone will name. Louis CK is my favorite. I just have never seen anything from pft that i thought was gut-bustingly funny. But i like brian regan so what the fuck do i know?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: polkablues on June 29, 2010, 02:09:27 AM
Speaking of Louis CK, his FX show premieres this coming night!  Super excited.

http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/louie/ (http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/louie/)
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on June 29, 2010, 03:13:39 AM
Perhaps the rest of this should continue in the stand-up thread as opposed to top 5, but that's getting technical

Is this the one?


Yeah, thanks.

Speaking of Louis CK, his FX show premieres this coming night!  Super excited.

http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/louie/ (http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/louie/)

I have high hopes for it, since I did really like Pootie Tang and loved Lucky Louie, but I wonder what his humor would be like on FX.  Though on Alway Sunny they tend to get away with a lot.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Tictacbk on June 29, 2010, 01:02:31 PM
Compiling a top 5 list would take me forever (I'm going to try at some point though) , but someone who people should seek out and see (and if you saw Conan's live tour, you got to see him open for Conan): Reggie Watts.

By the way, just finishing up the WTF podcasts with Carlos Mencia, good stuff thanks for recommending it.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: squints on December 03, 2010, 10:49:26 PM
This is fucking hilarious.

http://funkazi.com/top-20-comedians-of-united-states.html (http://funkazi.com/top-20-comedians-of-united-states.html)
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reelist on December 04, 2010, 09:35:20 AM
i hate about 95% of that list
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on December 04, 2010, 12:17:36 PM
sheng wang!
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: polkablues on June 05, 2011, 11:47:45 PM
Bo Burnham's "Words Words Words" is available on Netflix Instant now.  If you enjoy things that are funny, you should watch it.  Burnham has evolved very quickly from a simple funny-song comedian to one with a real point of view; his comedy is very analytical, but not so much that it's up its own ass.  He's already great, but as young as he is, I can't wait to see what he comes out with in the future.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Jeremy Blackman on June 06, 2011, 03:18:16 AM
I watched that a few days ago... it's fantastic.

I had seen his Comedy Central Presents special from a while ago. His unnecessary raunchiness became grating, and honestly he seemed like a half-remembered really annoying person I might have known in high school.

He's improved so much since then.

If you like this, Daniel Tosh's "Completely Serious" is mandatory viewing.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reelist on June 06, 2011, 12:15:06 PM
these uber white comics really get under my fucking skin
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Jeremy Blackman on June 06, 2011, 01:39:21 PM
What?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on June 07, 2011, 07:22:01 AM
whoa this kid's from the first town my family moved to when we got to the US.
SUPER NICE houses.
he may sound interesting but I just can't listen to singer songwriter comedians, not even the good ones like flight of the conchords. if a dude sits there with a keyboard or a guitar and he's telling jokes, I can't stand it. zach g was the only one I could handle, but it was because his act grew much keyboard than the keys.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: cinemanarchist on June 07, 2011, 10:39:53 AM
http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2011/05/john-mulaney-best-meal-ive-ever-had.html (http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2011/05/john-mulaney-best-meal-ive-ever-had.html)

John Mulaney - Best Meal I've Ever Had

Have not gone through all ten pages of this thread, so sorry if this is a repeat.

*Why do people feel the need to put up stupid fucking images on YouTube videos? Just hide the window and listen.*
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on June 07, 2011, 10:48:09 AM
John Mulaney is fantastic.  I was super psyched when he got the SNL job, but I was scared that would mean I wouldn't get to see his standup, but he's working on a new album and is coming here in a couple weeks.  Super excited.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Gold Trumpet on June 07, 2011, 11:12:14 AM
http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2011/05/john-mulaney-best-meal-ive-ever-had.html (http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2011/05/john-mulaney-best-meal-ive-ever-had.html)

John Mulaney - Best Meal I've Ever Had

Have not gone through all ten pages of this thread, so sorry if this is a repeat.

*Why do people feel the need to put up stupid fucking images on YouTube videos? Just hide the window and listen.*

Haha, I got to steal that.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reelist on September 16, 2011, 01:48:01 PM
Patton Oswalt's 'Finest Hour' was hilarious! I hadn't Lol'ed like that in a loooooonnngg time. It could very well be his finest hour, but he's always great.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on September 16, 2011, 02:09:20 PM
I started watching it...I SWEAR I heard the traffic cop joke somewhere...like by Bill Burr or something, but don't have the proof.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on October 05, 2011, 07:08:56 PM
(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsk14k3agS1qbcs4jo1_500.jpg)

this quote has been passed around a lot in the past day, attributed to Betty White.
However, it was from a friend comedian Sheng Wang, where you can catch his joke almost verbatim here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8QKGwb3c5I
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Pubrick on October 06, 2011, 02:30:32 AM
maybe he stole it from betty white.

maybe your friend sold it to her for a million dollars.

maybe they both stole it from harlan ellison.

why is it suddenly being attributed to her?

someone get to the bottom of this!
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: RegularKarate on October 06, 2011, 10:35:04 AM
maybe he stole it from betty white.

maybe your friend sold it to her for a million dollars.

maybe they both stole it from harlan ellison.

why is it suddenly being attributed to her?

someone get to the bottom of this!

What I have found attributes the joke to Pete's friend, but the one place that seemed to know the most about it (it even had a message from Betty White, thanking him for saying she didn't make that joke, it's too blue for even her) said that it started with a DJ in California and that it turned into a street joke that this guy made into his own (comics do this sometimes, it's not the same as stealing).

Either way, Betty White never said it.

Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Jeremy Blackman on October 06, 2011, 12:23:44 PM
Funny, I heard it from Hal Sparks and he didn't attribute it to anyone. It was an elaborated version, but still. How many people are stealing this?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on October 06, 2011, 12:51:14 PM
I saw that post - damien somebody as well.
http://thedamienzone.com/2011/10/05/betty-white-facebook-hoax-about-balls-and-vaginas/

Hal Sparks had a similar bit that went a lot further:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcM0DPH2bNo

but the quote had sheng's wording.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reelist on February 23, 2012, 10:17:29 AM
Were any of you aware of Rodney Dangerfield as an onlooker in 'The Killing'?

(http://pbr2010.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/the-killing.jpg)

it's legit, I promise.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reelist on August 05, 2012, 06:14:47 PM
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m88r60EqYB1qzyogno1_400.jpg)
Tig Notaro


“Tragedy + time = comedy. But I don’t have the benefit of time. So I’m just going to tell you the tragedy and know that everything is going to be okay.”

So began Tig Notaro’s set last night at her show “Tig and friends” at the Largo.

Actually, that wasn’t the beginning of her set. It began when Ed Helms welcomed her to the stage and she crossed over, took the microphone, and said “Thank you, thank you, I have cancer, thank you, I have cancer, really, thank you.”

Applause gave way to reticent laughter as she explained how she had planned a set about bees flying alongside her car on the 405, but that she couldn’t possibly do her “silly jokes” when all this was going on. And that’s when she told us that 3 days ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, in both breasts.

But she didn’t just have cancer. She went on to explain that in some manic twist of fate, while her career is at an all-time high — she is moving to New York to work on Amy Schumer’s new television show, she was on This American Life — concurrently, all these terrible circumstances have befallen her over the past 3 months: pneumonia made way for a debilitating bacterial infection in her digestive tract for which she was hospitalized and lost 30 pounds off of her already small frame, days after being released from the hospital, her young mother died suddenly and tragically (fell, hit her head, died), then she and her girlfriend broke up, and then, now, cancer. In both breasts. (“You have a lump.” “No, doctor, that’s my breast.” — one of her most renowned bits is about someone remarking upon her small breasts)

For the first half of her set, even though she was telling the story in perfect grace and humor, I couldn’t laugh. For the second half, for the first time in my life, as far as I can recall, I genuinely laughed and cried at the exact same time, bewildered at the tragedy and the remarkably calm, clever prism through which she assessed her terrible set of circumstances.

While telling us anecdotes from these personal tragedies, all along the way, she assured the audience “it’s okay, I’m going to be okay.” At one part, when she reached a dark place wherein most of the audience could not find the will to laugh, she said “maybe I’ll just go back to telling jokes about bees. Should I do that?” there were several “NOs” and one insistent loud male voice who cried out

“NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE.”

She looked genuinely taken aback, and relieved. She’d managed to make the tragic not only palatable but overwhelmingly engaging. She’d done it.

Tig’s been one of my favorite comedians for a couple of years now. I told her how much I loved her work after a set at UCB one night, and she received my words so kindly that she came towards me and gave me a hug. I’ve gone downtown to bars by myself and sat for hours alone, just waiting to see her headlining set.

At the end of her routine last night, everyone in the audience gave her a standing ovation, for me her wowed, grateful, happy face blurry with my own salty eyes. She’d released her horrific story into the hearts of her fans. I’m sure we all felt like I did; we were made witness to a truly historical moment in comedy, by one of the industry of comedy’s absolute greatest.

Bill Burr followed her set, inexplicably able to make the whole audience uproarious with laughter by the end. Bill Burr then brought on Louis C.K., the surprise guest of the night, which was a shock - it was my first time ever seeing him live - but it was very difficult to give him my enrapt attention after Tig’s on-stage confessions.

My head is still swimming around what happened last night. We all saw the ultimate embodiment of what comedy is supposed to do: deeply personal tragedies somehow transformed, with the enormous, necessary power of an open-hearted audience, into brilliantly-written truths that we’ll all take home with us and keep with us as long as we’ll have a sound-enough mind to remember that show. If schadenfreude is pleasure derived from the misfortune of others, we all shuffled into another corner last night, schadenfreude’s cousin; we’re not laughing at you, we’re crying with you but trying very hard to accept this avalanche of misfortune through the more edible prism of humor.

I’m so grateful I could bear witness to what happened last night, and more than that I’m grateful to comedy and to Tig Notaro for being not only courageous enough and not only spirited enough but for being so endlessly, achingly HONEST with all of us, the stunned, mouth-breathing strangers in the dark.

-from Kira Hesser's blog (http://flamelikeme.tumblr.com/post/28706896651/tragedy-time-comedy-but-i-dont-have-the)
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: jerome on October 06, 2012, 02:46:00 AM
Louis C.K. is selling that Tig Notaro set (audio only) on his website (http://"https://buy.louisck.net/news/about-tig-notaro"). Great listen.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Neil on October 06, 2012, 03:39:11 PM
Speaking of Louie,

A friend of mine had an extra ticket , so I found someone to cover my shift and now I get to see Louie C.K tonight.  It should be pretty interesting. 
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on October 29, 2012, 05:56:01 PM
how was louie?
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Neil on October 30, 2012, 02:36:31 PM
Louie was good. I don't know a ton about the guy but he seems to be on top of his game if you ask me.

I remember something on youtube a while ago where he talked about Carlin's approach and how he was always about looking forward and working towards the next special.  As a comedian you spend all this time working and perfecting the delivery and message of your material and then in a lot of cases you just have to move on, which i can imagine is exhausting and mentally draining.

I'm sure you're familiar with the quote or whatever, but everything was fresh- nothing I'd heard before, which I thought was fantastic.  I feel as though the inspiration and drive that Carlin's approach had, gave Louie the perspective he needed.  I feel that George Carlin was mainly 65% social commentry and the rest personal absurdities.  Louie was about the opposite. He had things to say about culture and such, but mostly he just told stories. 

There were three or four bits that have really stuck with me including his final bit.  He talked about how, if murder was legal, then kids would be murdered a lot.  It was contextually funny if you can believe that. Ha. but, then he encored with this and it reminded me of pure Carlin.  May be the best bit Louie's ever done.  Do comedians always encore?  because this one was particularly genius, cause he leaves the stage with everyone thinking, "so, child murder, that's what we're going to end on."  Then he comes back out explains how it's an awful thing and segways into this.

Fantastic.

Sorry for the poor quality, and the annoying people in the audience, but it's the best they had.  Check him out if you get a chance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8yXK8TsZf4

"of course, if you're defending this country, and you get shot or you get hurt, this is a terrible tragedy; Of Course.      But Maybe, if you pick up a gun and you go to another country and you get shot, it's not that weird.  Maybe if you get shot by the guy who you were just shooting at, maybe it's a tiny bit your fault too.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reelist on November 09, 2012, 04:03:09 PM
Good stuff, I'm so jealous. While we're on the subject of Louie, I thought I'd post this hour long clip from the Opie and Anthony show where Louie talks about SNL, and more importantly, his boating incident:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJf4RZEE468





On an unrelated note, I read this interview with Doug Stanhope from The Denver Post (http://www.heyreverb.com/blog/2012/11/09/why-so-serious-doug-stanhope/57208/) and thought this was pretty great:

Doug Stanhope: "I’m doing a show in West Palm Beach right before I come to Denver and my buddy Andy Andrist, who’s one of the funniest guys I know in the world, will be there. He was molested as a young teenager by a friend of his father’s and he found out where the fucking guy lived — and he lives down in West Palm Beach. Apparently when he was molesting Andy, this guy told him he’d buy him a car as some sort of enticement. And Andy wants to get his fucking car that he was promised. He wants his photos back that this guy took so he can sell his own child porn online. So Andy invited this guy to the show and he doesn’t know who Andy is these days, and we’re going to have cameras there and try to do this kind of “This Is Your Life” surprise thing. So I booked this show so I could go down to watch it. All these other comics are working on screenplays and I’m fucking Googling celebrities who have been molested and planning this Chris Hanson-style comedy ambush. So hopefully I’ll have a story to tell on stage in Denver about it."

Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reelist on November 26, 2012, 05:51:30 PM
Jenny Johnson is my new hero!


Chris Brown Deletes Twitter After Distasteful Remarks Toward Female Comedian


After engaging last night in a vulgar back-and-forth with a female comedian on Twitter, Chris Brown has deleted his Twitter account entirely. The controversy-courting pop star fled the social network after hurling a series of extremely graphic and off-color sexual insults at Houston-based comedian Jenny Johnson, who started the exchange with her own shot at Breezy's character.

 Sunday afternoon, Brown took to Twitter complaining about how he believes he's aged.

 
"I look old as fuck! I'm only 23," he wrote.

 
Johnson, who follows Brown and has made something of a habit of criticizing him ever since his 2009 conviction for aggravated assault against Rihanna, took the momentary display of vulnerability as an opportunity to hit him with a verbal gut punch.

 
"I know! Being a worthless piece of shit can really age a person," she wrote.

 
Brown, who has never been known for his self control, took the bait, leveling a stunning rejoinder at the comedian.

 
"Take them teeth out when u Sucking my dick HOE," he wrote.

 
Johnson, whom Rolling Stone has called one of "The 25 Funniest People on Twitter," took issue not with the content of Brown's remark, but with his misuse of a homophone.

 
"It's 'HO' not 'HOE' you ignorant fuck," she tweeted.

 
The exchange didn't stop there. Breezy continued the quarrel by doubling down on indecent imagery.

 
"I should fart while ur giving me top," he wrote. To which Johnson replied: "Your mom must be so proud of you."

 
Brown, who has a close relationship with mother Joyce Hawkins, later claimed to have consulted his mom, firing back with another suggestion of crude bodily debasement.

 
"Mom says hello ... she told me not to shart in ur mouth, wanted me to shit right on your retina," he wrote.

 
Deviating from the put-down contest, momentarily, Brown at one point seemed to acknowledge the source of Johnson's (and presumably others') anger.

 
"Just ask Rihanna if she mad??????" he tweeted.

 
Winding down her role in the spat, Johnson highlighted Brown's unusual fixation.

 
"Okay. I'm done. All I got from that exchange with Chris Brown is that he wants to shit and fart on me," she wrote, later adding "I have zero respect for a person who seems unapologetic for the terrible crime he committed and shows no signs of changing."

 Brown, too, was apparently unhappy with the exchange and later deleted his account. He took a similar step in 2009 after going on a Twitter rant against retailers for their alleged unwillingness to carry his album. This morning, Jenny Johnson revealed she has been receiving death threats from angered Brown fans.


source: BET.com



Here's a small collection of her tweets since last year:


(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/A8k-ixHCAAEqsm3.png#twimg)



EDIT: couldn't find any actual evidence of Jenny Johnson being a stand up, but she sure stood up to that bag of shit! So this is staying here
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: pete on November 27, 2012, 12:12:54 AM
she's a twitter star. she's a tv producer or girlfriend of somebody I think, a comedian but not a stand up comic. she also does similar things to kim kardashian and others of that kind.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reelist on December 07, 2014, 08:12:15 AM
3 things I never need to hear another comedian talk about for the rest of my life:

1. The Sarah Mclachlan "In the arms of an angel" pet adoption commercial.

2. Why dogs are better than cats

3. Airport security


Alright, we get it. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!


Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Jeremy Blackman on October 22, 2015, 09:07:58 PM
If you like observational comedy, check out Demetri Martin's newish stand-up special, on Netflix:

http://www.netflix.com/title/80044804

Not every joke is great, but there are tons of 'em, and at least 60-70% are brilliant.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: KJ on August 14, 2017, 09:31:05 PM
i'm a stand-up newbie who don't usually laugh at stand-up and i'm sure everyone here has seen this, but this has made me cry of laughter more then once:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/661a77b3da/norm-macdonald-trolls-the-bob-saget-roast

deserves to be posted over and over and over again.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Reelist on August 15, 2017, 11:48:12 AM
Norm's one of the greatest there is. He could be in my top 5 standups, I've never made a list. Make sure to check out his new Netflix special if you have access, and his video podcast is back to putting out regular episodes too, this week is Sarah Silverman: Norm Macdonald Live (https://m.youtube.com/user/NormMacdonaldLive)
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: Sleepless on August 15, 2017, 01:58:05 PM
Not sure how well he travels outside of Britain, but my love for Peter Kay just increases as time goes by. Here's one of his best sets from the early 2000's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8_wEcXhXIM
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: polkablues on August 15, 2017, 02:40:34 PM
I'm usually pretty good with UK accents, but holy crap, I'm only picking up maybe 60% of what he's saying.

I was certain I had talked about my love of Bo Burnham's standup on here, but apparently not. I love Bo Burnham's standup. His three Netflix specials all would land spots in my top 5 favorite comedy sets. He started out as a teenager doing goofy musical comedy on Youtube, but he's since expanded and honed his craft to the point that he's doing standup comedy in what feels like a whole new way. There are elements of others you can pick out: Eugene Mirman's surreal absurdities, Demetri Martin's non sequiturs, Zach Galifianakis' "always in character" awkwardness. But there's such a virtuosity to the way he constructs a routine, the way he builds themes and motifs out of seemingly disconnected bits, that gives the sense he understands comedy at a philosophical, intellectual level that nobody else out there does right now. Even with all that effusive praise, I feel like I'm still underselling him, I love his comedy so much.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: KJ on August 16, 2017, 10:28:03 PM
Norm's one of the greatest there is. He could be in my top 5 standups, I've never made a list. Make sure to check out his new Netflix special if you have access, and his video podcast is back to putting out regular episodes too, this week is Sarah Silverman: Norm Macdonald Live (https://m.youtube.com/user/NormMacdonaldLive)

His delivery is so good. He makes everything funny. I watched a compilation of the video podcast. The joke in the beginning of this killed me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTFsei7QE8Y
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: wilder on August 18, 2017, 01:55:25 AM
Starts at 1 min 40 seconds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxN8PhKzZgY

The video embed looks broken but when I click 'play' it works? Link, if it doesn't:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxN8PhKzZgY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxN8PhKzZgY)
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: KJ on August 18, 2017, 11:14:54 PM
I'm usually pretty good with UK accents, but holy crap, I'm only picking up maybe 60% of what he's saying.

I was certain I had talked about my love of Bo Burnham's standup on here, but apparently not. I love Bo Burnham's standup. His three Netflix specials all would land spots in my top 5 favorite comedy sets. He started out as a teenager doing goofy musical comedy on Youtube, but he's since expanded and honed his craft to the point that he's doing standup comedy in what feels like a whole new way. There are elements of others you can pick out: Eugene Mirman's surreal absurdities, Demetri Martin's non sequiturs, Zach Galifianakis' "always in character" awkwardness. But there's such a virtuosity to the way he constructs a routine, the way he builds themes and motifs out of seemingly disconnected bits, that gives the sense he understands comedy at a philosophical, intellectual level that nobody else out there does right now. Even with all that effusive praise, I feel like I'm still underselling him, I love his comedy so much.

Bo Burnham is so good. I had some problems with him in the beginning but now i'm loving everything. I'm not sure if he's getting better or if i'm getting less pretentious.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: wilder on November 30, 2017, 02:39:45 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLECCmKnrys


stick with it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=db626bPvz0U
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: polkablues on November 30, 2017, 03:17:28 AM
That Gary Gulman routine is fantastic, but seeing it reminded me of when I first saw him on Last Comic Standing a few years ago, which made me look it up and realize that was actually THIRTEEN YEARS ago, which made me realize time is cruel and the specter of death looms ever closer behind me with each passing day, so overall I give it like a B+.
Title: Re: best stand-up comic
Post by: wilder on December 12, 2017, 07:06:00 PM
Is Tom Segura popular? I don't know. I hadn't heard of him until recently while watching sets by his equally talented wife, Christina Pazsitzky (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christina_Pazsitzky):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWnfiJy7AVg

The two specials on Netflix very nearly filled the Louis void for me.