Why, God, why?!? - Films That Should Not Get The Greenlight

Started by MacGuffin, February 07, 2003, 03:31:47 AM

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.


w/o horse

QuoteHollywood beauty Pamela Anderson will make a cameo appearance in the forthcoming movie spin-off of TV show Baywatch. Anderson, who starred in the lifeguard soap in the early 1990s, is being lined up by David Hasselhoff to appear in the big screen version alongside other Baywatch cast mates, who are yet to be confirmed but could include Carmen Electra, Erika Eleniak, Yasmine Bleeth and Traci Bingham. The movie's director Eli Roth says, "Pammy and the original girls will most likely do cameos in the movie. For the main cast, they want to go with a new crop of hotties. The other producers spoke to Pamela about it and she said she'd love to do a cameo. For me, it just wouldn't be Baywatch without her." Hasselhoff adds, "The film will be set in different locations around the world. There will be lifeguards who are also sent on crime-busting sprees."

What.
Raven haired Linda and her school mate Linnea are studying after school, when their desires take over and they kiss and strip off their clothes. They take turns fingering and licking one another's trimmed pussies on the desks, then fuck each other to intense orgasms with colorful vibrators.

matt35mm

Quote from: Losing the Horse: on February 10, 2006, 01:51:20 PM
QuoteHollywood beauty Pamela Anderson will make a cameo appearance in the forthcoming movie spin-off of TV show Baywatch. Anderson, who starred in the lifeguard soap in the early 1990s, is being lined up by David Hasselhoff to appear in the big screen version alongside other Baywatch cast mates, who are yet to be confirmed but could include Carmen Electra, Erika Eleniak, Yasmine Bleeth and Traci Bingham. The movie's director Eli Roth says, "Pammy and the original girls will most likely do cameos in the movie. For the main cast, they want to go with a new crop of hotties. The other producers spoke to Pamela about it and she said she'd love to do a cameo. For me, it just wouldn't be Baywatch without her." Hasselhoff adds, "The film will be set in different locations around the world. There will be lifeguards who are also sent on crime-busting sprees."

What.
(shrug) the guy knows how to shoot breasts.

squints

Quote from: matt35mm on February 10, 2006, 05:22:34 PM
Quote from: Losing the Horse: on February 10, 2006, 01:51:20 PM
QuoteThe movie's director Eli Roth says, "Pammy and the original girls will most likely do cameos in the movie.

What.
(shrug) the guy knows how to shoot breasts.

He calls her "Pammy"? What the fuck?
"The myth by no means finds its adequate objectification in the spoken word. The structure of the scenes and the visible imagery reveal a deeper wisdom than the poet himself is able to put into words and concepts" – Friedrich Nietzsche

polkablues

My house, my rules, my coffee

md

from an undisclosed source close to eli:

"he was being considered to direct it and offered a lot of his own ideas
in the development process...ultimately they decided to go with someone
else to direct, i don't know who, but they kept a shitload of eli's
ideas so they felt it was only right to give him a co-producer
credit...which is the entirety of his involvement. they're going to
milk his name for publicity though. he mentioned last summer that they
might shoot it in 3D. weird..."

3d? hmm pammy=YES!  hasseloff=NOOOOOOO!
"look hard at what pleases you and even harder at what doesn't" ~ carolyn forche

modage

3D, huh?  maybe this is James Cameron's Project 880!
Christopher Nolan's directive was clear to everyone in the cast and crew: Use CGI only as a last resort.

MacGuffin

NO F*CKING WAY!!!!!!  :yabbse-angry:


Another Dirty Dozen
Joel Silver, WB plan remake.

According to Variety, producer Joel Silver and Warner Bros. will team with Village Roadshow for a remake of the World War II action classic The Dirty Dozen.

The remake will be penned by Scott Rosenberg (Gone in 60 Seconds) and the Alias team of Andre Nemec and Josh Appelbaum. The story will reportedly be contemporized.

"We're giving this version a personal stake. The mission isn't about finding gold or weapons or blowing up a castle. There is a personal element to it," producer Susan Downey said.

The 1967 original was directed by Robert Aldrich and starred such classic screen tough guys as Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, Jim Brown, John Cassavetes, Telly Savales, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Ryan, Clint Walker and George Kennedy.

"When they both cited Dirty Dozen as the kind of mission movie they'd like to make, Harris discovered that WB owned the rights to the original, which was distributed by MGM," the trade claims.
"Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art." - Andy Warhol


Skeleton FilmWorks

Tryskadekafobia

Sweathogs Rule! Cube Welcomes Back "Kotter"
Source: E! News

Bring out the Welcome wagon.

Ice Cube has signed on to play the title role in a film adaptation of the classic 1970s TV series Welcome Back, Kotter, it was announced Tuesday.

As part of his deal with Dimension Films, Cube will also coproduce the redo of the former ABC series that turned John Travolta into a household name.

"There was no bigger fan of the original show than me, and I'm very excited to be able to put a new twist on it," the Barbershop star said in a statement.

Cube will play the titular Gabe Kotter, a slacker turned teacher who returns to his inner-city alma mater and who sees himself in the new batch of underprivileged troublemakers. He works to inspire the seemingly apathetic students, known as the Sweathogs.

The gang of kids is led by scatterbrained himbo Vinnie Barbarino, played in the original incarnation by Travolta. The original 'hogs also included the super suave Freddie "Boom-Boom" Washington (originally played by Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs), the tough-talking Juan Luis Pedro Phillipo de Huevos Epstein ( Robert Hegyes), and nasally nerd Arnold Dingfelder Horshack ( Ron Palillo) and were responsible for injecting retorts like "up your nose with a rubber hose" into the cultural vernacular.

Gabe Kaplan, who played Kotter in the original 1975-79 series, also created the show with partner Alan Sacks and retained the rights. He said that despite heavy interest from studios over the years, they held out on adapting Kotter until the right pitch came along.

"We were skeptical about selling Kotter because making a great movie from a TV show can be challenging," Kaplan said. "After meeting with the Weinsteins [Harvey and Bob Weinstein run Dimension], we knew they were the right ones to bring this project to the screen."

No word on whether any of the original stars will make cameos in the film, though if the recent influx of box office remakes are any indication, it's highly likely that some of the old gang will pay their respects. Likewise, we assume that Cube will give a hip-hop spin to the classic "Welcome Back" theme song, originally crooned by John Sebastian.

The Hot Chick's Tom Brady has signed on to write and direct Kotter.

Production is expected to kick off this fall, after filming is complete on Cube's next project, Are We Done Yet?, a sequel to last year's surprise hit Are We There Yet?, which happens to be another remake--this time based loosely on the Cary Grant film Mr. Blandings Builds His Dreamhouse. Cameras roll on that film in Vancouver this June.

grand theft sparrow

They should get Shia LaBeouf for Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington.


And it's a Why, God, why?!? two-fer!

Quote from: Tryskadekafobia on March 15, 2006, 08:58:49 PM
Ice Cube has signed on to play the title role in a film adaptation of the classic 1970s TV series Welcome Back, Kotter, it was announced Tuesday.
Quote from: Tryskadekafobia on March 15, 2006, 08:58:49 PM
Production is expected to kick off this fall, after filming is complete on Cube's next project, Are We Done Yet?, a sequel to last year's surprise hit Are We There Yet?, which happens to be another remake--this time based loosely on the Cary Grant film Mr. Blandings Builds His Dreamhouse. Cameras roll on that film in Vancouver this June.

hedwig

Terri Schiavo Film in Development
Source: Variety, April 10, 2006

A year after Terri Schiavo died, a quartet of producers-including Mike Farrell and Lawrence Bender-have optioned the rights to Michael Schiavo's just-published book "Terri: The Truth" and are looking to develop it as a telepic or feature film. Variety says Farrell and Bender would produce any project in conjunction with their respective partners, Marvin Minoff and Kevin Brown.

Schiavo's death on March 31, 2005, came after a years-long battle between Michael Schiavo, husband of Terri Schiavo, and her parents over when it was appropriate to remove the brain-dead woman from life support. What began as a family feud ended up a national political battle.

"The story is almost Shakespearean in the warring of the families and the great love story between the (couple)," Minoff told the trade. "It starts off so beautifully and then ends so chaotically."

Producers don't plan to hire a writer until they sell the project to a TV network or film studio. The goal is to tell Terri and Michael Schiavo's story from the beginning of their romance.

grand theft sparrow

Quote from: Hedwig on April 11, 2006, 08:26:21 PM
Terri Schiavo Film in Development

I smell Oscar number 2 for Charlize!

Or a CableACE for what's her name that was the show with Corky then was killed on ER.

MacGuffin

At Long Last: That Fred Durst Feature

As I'm sure you all remember, late last year Fred Durst told MTV about his rather impressive cinematic ambitions. And I quote: "I want to be beside Martin Scorsese and Wes Anderson and Paul Thomas Anderson and Francis Ford Coppola. I'm a real director." Make no mistake about it, haters, Durst has big plans. And now, finally, The Education of Charlie Banks, Durst's long-discussed feature debut, is going ahead. The movie, which has a budget of about $10 million, was written by Peter Elkoff, and revolves around "a Vassar College student who gets an unannounced visit from the scariest kid from his old New York neighborhood."

Durst has scored a surprisingly solid young cast for his film, including Jesse Eisenberg (the big brother from The Squid and the Whale), who will play Banks, and two of the shockingly talented male leads from Joan of Arcadia, Jason Ritter and Chris Marquette. The movie starts filming this June and, with those stars and a $10 million budget, Durst has a great start on that movie career of his.
"Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art." - Andy Warhol


Skeleton FilmWorks

squints

"The myth by no means finds its adequate objectification in the spoken word. The structure of the scenes and the visible imagery reveal a deeper wisdom than the poet himself is able to put into words and concepts" – Friedrich Nietzsche

ono

Good for him.  Hope he does it.  And even if he falls on his face trying, that's more than most who've detracted from his efforts can say.  His heart is in the right place, and the directors he admires are a sound list, so you can't fault him for any of that.