movies assholes dig

[polkablues]

That new Statham/Owen/De Niro flick, where the trailer seems kind of serious at first, then all of a sudden "Rock You Like a Hurricane" starts playing. "Rock You Like a Hurricane" is the song you use when "Back in Black" isn't assholeish enough.

[©brad]

I think fanboys are the biggest assholes out there. Scott Pilgrim is Sofia Coppola-smug in its own way.
but Kick Ass - that's like a failed Zack Snyder movie right there - I think any studio genre movie that tries to hard to pretend it's above the genre, or that it's doing the genre a favor, will always end up asshole movies. Zombieland is another one, and Fantastic Mr. Fox definitely is one.

Fantastic Mr. Fox? Really? I'm with you on everything else, but, really? It's so cute and harmless.

[pete]

https://vimeo.com/37865623

[chere mill]

in the spirit of movies assholes dig, i would like to add a category called bourgeois bullshit. movies that are (generally bland and conventional) costume dramas and period pieces. usually about upper class (or royalty) people and their petty little problems.  think ladies in lavender. the audience who seem to love these movies in my city are waspy types - white middle aged people who refuse to watch anything slightly challenging or unpleasant, yet pride themselves on being sophisticated. and the academy is known for eating this shit up, too.

shakespeare in love
young victoria
the king's speech
life is beautiful
the english patient
the last station
some of the jane austen adaptations (she would be rolling in her grave).

[Stefen]

in the spirit of movies assholes dig, i would like to add a category called bourgeois bullshit. movies that are (generally bland and conventional) costume dramas and period pieces. usually about upper class (or royalty) people and their petty little problems.  think ladies in lavender. the audience who seem to love these movies in my city are waspy types - white middle aged people who refuse to watch anything slightly challenging or unpleasant, yet pride themselves on being sophisticated. and the academy is known for eating this shit up, too.

shakespeare in love
young victoria
the king's speech
life is beautiful
the english patient
the last station
some of the jane austen adaptations (she would be rolling in her grave).

Perfect. I would add The Hours and The Queen.

Another category should be movies unnecessarily over-educated white people adore.

The type of movies that white people in their late thirties, early forties who have college degrees in fields that are worthless love. Movies about upper-middle class dysfunctional families that always feature some sort of awkward story lines where each member of the family is trying to find themselves and they do it through things like infidelity, shoplifting, trying to act younger or older, getting in shape, becoming an artist, or just crap that they wouldn't normally do, but because their family life is falling apart, they're giving it a shot.

Movies like The Squid and the Whale, The Ice Storm, American Beauty and Little Children.

They will have a story line about finding their neighbors kid masturbating in the bushes of their back yard and the audience will feel uncomfortable because they too wouldn't know how to deal with a situation like that. Do they pretend they don't see him doing it? Do they alert his parents and risk the repercussions? Do they interrupt the kid and give him the talk about sex that his parents should be giving him? So awkward! If my neighbors kid was masturbating in the bushes in my backyard I'd go outside, turn on the hose and tell him to put his dingaling back in his shorts and get off my lawn before I call the cops. Shoo. Get lost, weirdo.

[Jeremy Blackman]

Haha, nice.

Except I love The Squid and the Whale for Jeff Daniels's character... how brilliantly written his dialogue is, how surprisingly great Daniels is in the part, and ultimately how much it skewers him.

I think that movie's self-awarenes and subtlety is leagues beyond American Beauty for example, which only knows how to express itself with a sledgehammer.

[Stefen]

I don't mind Squid and the Whale and I really like The Ice Storm. But we're allowed to like any of these movies because we like others, too.

[pete]

your unfortunate subcategories, again, assumes that "assholes" refer to only one type of people. don't confuse assholes with bros or meatheads. assholes are assholes, asshole.

[Stefen]

^Not even.

There are definite subcategories. You can even break them down by whatever emotional status said bros, meatheads and/or assholes have on their most recent Facebook/Twitter update.

A meathead could easily be having a bad day and post something on Facebook akin to, "shitty st pattys day guys. everyone downtown was wearing green and I didnt get to pinch anything. bitches are dumb but are way smart at reading calendars. no ass grabbing tonight. gonna smoke a bowl then play some guitar and try and feel better. maybe wake up early and work on my truck. dont know. weekend kind of ruined  "

While at the same time, an asshole could be getting home late from the office after effing up while crunching numbers for his clients during tax season and make a tweet that says, "Not making tee time in the morning. Busy day at the office. DEAL WITH IT. God, then career, then family. My performance at the country club will always come fourth." 

You really think there's no chance this father/son duo don't both end up in the family room at 3am eating bacon and getting hammered off of cheap boxed wine while watching Kevin Spacey in American Beauty proclaim, "I rule" as they give each other embarrassing high fives and down lows, that they both miss?

[polkablues]

God, I hope this is a sign that Stefen is going to start posting more often.

[Fernando]

yes please.

about that vimeo vid. couldnt disagree more about some of choices, I dont think 2001, leone (specially OUATITW) could qualify as movies that assholes dig.

btw, from which movie is the guy that paints a hitler stache? shows at the 12sec mark

[polkablues]

btw, from which movie is the guy that paints a hitler stache? shows at the 12sec mark

Smokin' Aces

[Reel]

about that vimeo vid. couldnt disagree more about some of choices, I dont think 2001, leone (specially OUATITW) could qualify as movies that assholes dig.

Yeah, but the video is more about the type of stuff assholes like to see in movies, i.e, confrontation. I doubt the biggest fans of 300 are even aware of Dr. Strangelove. That said, I remember one Thanksgiving I was surfing channels and 2001 happened to be on, my uncle goes "oh, that's a classic!" So I put it on and were watching and its kind of quiet and slow, just the thing I wanted to watch after dinner, but to him, it's dragging. So he goes "put the game back on, we need something with more action in it." I thought that perfectly summed up his attitude toward cinema, " it's a classic, that's been decided for me. Does it mean I have to watch it? Onto something else. " I wouldn't call my uncle an asshole in the slightest, he's basically funded my whole life, but he's definitely a meathead. I mean, who could blame him though? It's Thanksgiving and he wants to watch the damn game, Kubrick would've done the same.

[BB]

bourgeois bullshit.

movies unnecessarily over-educated white people adore.

Can we include self-referential movies for zombie twats? Not necessarily zombie movies, although a bunch of zombie movies would qualify. More like movies that cater to the demographic who treat "The Zombie Survival Guide" as the apex of literature.

Zombieland (mentioned on a previous page)
The Evil Dead movies
The Resident Evil movies
Shaun of the Dead
Fido
The Walking Dead, while a TV show, qualifies
The upcoming Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Boy Scouts vs. Zombies, etc.
Loads of straight-to-DVD or super niche-y shit like Zombie Strippers or Dead Snow

But also...

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter
Pirahna 3D
Hobo with a Shotgun
The upcoming Cowboy Ninja Viking, Kitchen Sink, etc.

Cowboys & Aliens, though not ultimately this kind of movie, easily could have been if executed differently.

[pete]

http://www.esquire.co.uk/culture/film-tv/7199/films-stupid-people-think-are-clever/