1987 Phone Call
by
ShanghaiOrange
Robert DeNiro: Yeah?
Martin Scorsese: Bobby! It's Marty!
RD: Hey.
MS: How're you doing?
RD: Good, good.
MS: How's the wife?
RD: Good.
MS: Listen, Bobby, I got this new picture.
RD: Yeah.
MS: Have you heard about this book "The Last Temptation of Christ"?
RD: Yeah, uh, Nicholas Katzenberg, or...
MS: Nikos Kazantzakis!
RD: Yeah...you're doing that?
MS: Yes! I'm doing the Jesus picture!
RD: Yeah.
MS: I've already got Harvey as Judas.
RD: Harvey, Judas...that's good, that works.
MS: Yes! Now listen Bobby, I want you...
RD: No.
MS: I want you to be my Jesus.
RD: No.
MS: Come on, Bobby. I mean, Jesus, it's Jesus.
RD: I don't...
MS: Bobby...
RD: I don't think I could do it.
MS: Bobby, don't say that.
RD: Marty...
MS: Bobby, Harvey is Judas!
RD: Yeah.
MS: Don't you remember Mean Streets? It's pretty much the same thing...
RD: Marty...
MS: ...except 2000 earlier. And you won't have to put on any weight.
RD: Marty...
MS: Bobby?
RD: I can't do it.
MS: You're breaking my heart, here, Bobby.
RD: I can't do it. I'm sorry.
MS: Well, then my question to you is this: who can?
RD: Marty...
MS: You want me to get Max Von Sydow... is that what you want, Bobby? Maybe Jeffrey Hunter?
RD: Marty, come on.
MS: You are breaking my heart, Bobby.
RD: I still love you, Marty.
MS: (sighs) I didn't want it to come to this... but you were terrible in The Untouchables.
RD: Marty!
MS: And Angel Heart! What was that? You were Satan!? You damn well better play Jesus after that.
RD: Goodbye, Marty.
MS: Bye, Bobby.
(click)
You're the best.
Shanghai is one of my favorite people here
:lol: That sounds very authentic.
what the fuck?
:yabbse-thumbup: :yabbse-thumbup:
Two thumbs up. Fantastic.
1999 Phone call
by cbrad
MARTY SCORSESE: Dante wants to build the set in Rome.
HarveyWeinstein: No, San Diego.
MS: Come on Harvey, how am I suppose to recreate 19th century New York in San Diego?
HW: Dante could do it.
MS: It's in Rome or I go to another studio.
HW: Has to be under 80.
MS: 120 is what we originally agreed on!
HW: Well now its 80.
MS: You manipulative little... well if its 80 mil then I'm shooting in Rome.
HW: You take a 44% pay cut and you can shoot in Rome.
MS: If I take a pay cut I get final cut w/o any interference.
HW: Can't be more than 140 minutes.
MS: 160.
HW: 140.
MS: No, damnit, I said 160.
HW: 140. Marty, I got some other calls here.
MS: 140 and I cast whoever for Amsterdam.
HW: Ashton Kuscher or no deal.
MS: Ashton who?
HW: The kid from that show about what it was like to live in the 70s.
MS: You're turning my fucking hair gray.
HW: It already is.
MS: I want Day-Lewis for the Butcher.
HW: Good luck getting him. Besides, I promised the part to someone else.
MS: Who?
HW: Hugh Grant.
MS: Hugh Grant? I'm hanging up.
HW: I really can't talk right now either-
MS: Okay, here's the deal. I shoot in Rome, Dante gets to do whatever he wants, I get Day-Lewis and whomever else I deem worthy of the supporting cast, and rights to distribute the film internationally.
HW: I think not. You can have the rights for Burma.
MS: Do they even import film?
HW: I very much doubt it.
MS: I'm going to need a year for principal and atleast 8 months in post.
HW: Hahah, right.
MS: And most of the crew is vegetarian-
HW: We're sending snack packs and rice cakes for the craft service tables. And Bob has a few cases of RC Cola in the basement we're going to have sent over. You're going to have to get your own ice though.
MS: Alright, well, I'm going to try to go make this thing now.
HW: Good luck! Don't fuck it up.
Not harsh enough to be Scorsese
coversation i had with marty yesterday
me: gangs fucking sucked
ms: who is this? how did you get my number?
me: it really fucking sucked
ms: WHO IS THIS?
me: btw, ive sent my copy of taxi driver to you, could you sign it for me? that would be swell
ms: sure. but, who are you? how did you get this number?
me: gangs fucking sucked. bye bye now, marty
ms: who is-- hello? HELLO?
hahaha
Boo.
:?
Hehehehe
Quote from: Cecilcoversation i had with marty yesterday
me: gangs fucking sucked
ms: who is this? how did you get my number?
me: it really fucking sucked
ms: WHO IS THIS?
me: btw, ive sent my copy of taxi driver to you, could you sign it for me? that would be swell
ms: sure. but, who are you? how did you get this number?
me: gangs fucking sucked. bye bye now, marty
ms: who is-- hello? HELLO?
MS: Hello, Bobby?
RD: Marty?
MS: Bobby, your cousin...does he still...
RD: Yeah.
MS: Ok. This guy is sending me a copy of Taxi Driver to sign. I'll give you his address. You give it to your cousin.
RD: Yeah.
MS: Make it look like an accident.
Based on a true story
oh no, looks like mommys little accident will have an accident
too many with too much time.... fantasy life only goes so far... I'm spending too much time already.
ShangaiOrange that was brilliant...I just emailed that to all of my film loving friends...
Quote from: Witkacytoo many with too much time.... fantasy life only goes so far... I'm spending too much time already.
:(
That took me about 5 minutes to write you inglorious bastard.
I hope you're being a little sarcastic, because your 5 minutes were well spent. I'm just not one to spew out compliments.... so nothing personal or ultimately meaningful in a critical way. It's a mood swing thing.... up... down... up ... down... up ... down.
Peace and cheers.
Hi Witkacy, welcome to xixax.com! Do you like Magnolia?
He'd better do, or else... :evil:
MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
me- marty Sup
MS- Your back how, why ?
me- the how was easy the why, i dunno
MS- shouldnt your time be better spent serving the people in a bigger Forum
me-Stay Tuned......
MS- By the way, i want my lisa loeb CD Back you bastard
me- what ? your breaking up on me i cant hear you........ marty ............END OF CALL
Magnolia is by far the best film I've seen in recent years, although I'll say it is PTA's "Short Cuts".
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...YOu .are hilarious shanghaiorange... :yabbse-thumbup:
Quote from: WitkacyMagnolia is by far the best film I've seen in recent years, although I'll say it is PTA's "Short Cuts".
Well, "Star Wars" is George Lucas' "The Hidden Fortress," but I don't think that takes much away from the legacy of
that movie.
Movies are neverending plagiarism. Directors constantly tweak what they've learned from in the the past, evolve, innovate and, in the process, make bold new statements.
this just in...
HARVEY: Hi Marty how are ya?
MARTY: Excited Harvy, very excited, how are you?
H: Suddenly nervous... what's cooking?
M: I have this Howard Hughes thing..
H: Marty! We talked about this. I want something short and sweet next. You know like that Anderson kid, he did that Sandler thing. Ok it was a little fruity, but it was short.... and sweet...
M: It's definitely gotta be the Howard Hughes thing.
H: Okay... so, what've ya got?
M: Leo -
H: Wah whoa, hang on, Howard Hughes wasn't Irish was he.
M: No.
H: Thank god. Well little Leo certainly brings in the bucks.
M: Yup and I want Cate Blanchett, Kate Bekinsale, Willem Dafoe, Alec Baldwin, Danny Huston -
H: Marty!!!
M: - John C Reilly, Gwen Stefani -
H: Gwen Stefa who?
M: Stefani, she's in this band, it's called No-
H: Doubt!
M: Yes you know it good.
H: Good? You know why she's in that band Marty?
M: Because she makes great music?
H: Try again.
M: Uhhm?
H: Because she can't act, you nitwit!
M: Well... I think she'll be great. Plus Jude Law in the bit part will be fantastic!
H: Jude...wassat....??? Bit part....??....
M: Harvey.....????
M: Harv....???
H: Are you high Marty?
M: No I'm making shoes!
H: You're what!?
M: I'm with Daniel, we're making shoes! I've made you some nice boots for Christmas!
H: click brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr