The stupidest thing you've heard someone say about a movie..

[Sleuth]

All of these things make me feel like Ghostboy's avatar

[bonanzataz]

In the row behind me during "The Hours": "Everyone's kissing in this movie."

that was me.

[Ernie]

Oh god...there were TONS during my time with Armageddon in film study! Fucking tons I tell ya! Seriously,. I seemed to be the only one that hated the movie. These kids were praising the hell out of it. This one might top them all though....

GIRL

"There's so many great lines in this movie."

TEACHER

"Oh yeah, it has a really great script."

I literally almost threw up after hearing this. I was sick to my stomach. I'm sorry...call me crazy but I think Armageddon is one of the worst fucking movies of all time!!!! The script is so bad, it's just sad. I write better than the 7 people who wrote the movie. Some of the lines were so bad, I couldn't stop digging my pen into my desk....

"Let me show you how we do things where I come from!"

"I will make 2 hundred million feet! I will make it! I will make it!"

"You were always...like a son to me."

"You wanna know why? Cause I'm a genius!" (NO BUSCEMI!!!)

WOW! I am feeling sick just quoting the damn movie so I really have to stop now. I can't belive the teacher really and truly loves the movie and even goes as far to call it one of the best scripts....

I also hate how she always bitches when kids recommend we watch funny movies like Dumb and Dumber or Blazing Saddles...she always says they're "too immature". Armageddon is on the same level of maturity for christ's sake!!!! It's just not half as entertaining!!!

My current english teacher is definitely a competitor for "stupidest film related quotes" as well. He's an old, arrogant, pointless, boring, incredibly condescending fucking asshole who talks about film from time to time when he has nothing better to talk about. You know the type, he's a wannabe film snob...he doesn't know shit. That's right, he's not even a snob. At least snobs know a little bit about film. This guy knows dick about. The funny thing is...he thinks he knows IT ALL! He can get away with it too!!! That's the annoying part! None of these kids are going to aruge with him, they think he's right! How would they know!? Most of them don't even care! I have to literally bite my fucking tongue to keep from correcting him everytime he talks about film.

I'll never forget when he was trying to tell the class that cinematography was "the sequencing of shots" or "the plot twists" or some bullshit like that! I felt sick!!!! I mean, it's ok to be wrong but he just acts like he's so above everybody when he talks. He could at least be like, "I'm not sure, but I think cinematography is..." but no! He just says it like there's no way he is wrong.

Oh my god, I'll never forget the day he had us watching Star Wars...he had a philsophy of the trilogy that must be heard to be believed! I felt like I was on candid camera or something...seriously. I felt like the guy was reading a Kevin Smith script. The guy was serious! He thinks he knows all about film! He is preaching false film info to kids who already have no taste in film! It's just SCARY!!!!  

God, I need to stop typing now. Great thread by the way, I loved reading all the replies.

[MacGuffin]

In the row behind me during "The Hours": "Everyone's kissing in this movie."

that was me.

Didn't know you were an overweight elderly woman.

[Jeremy Blackman]

GIRL

"There's so many great lines in this movie."

TEACHER

"Oh yeah, it has a really great script."

It was written by 5 people.. seems inevitable... I think the threshhold is 2...

[Cecil]

he had a philsophy of the trilogy that must be heard to be believed!

oh please, share this philosophy with us.

I think the threshhold is 2...

well, maybe 3... but thats pushing it

[sphinx]

a fellow named 'moviebuff' on another forum listed 2001 as one of the worst movies of all time.  i questioned him as to why he made this decision and he responded with

i'm curious as to why you thought 2001 was one of the worst films of all time?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Simple really because the film was boooooooooooooooooring as hell. Very few films have actually kept me as bored as a film that insisted on forcing me through a half hour of monkeys doing nothing interesting, before placing a bunch of shallow 2 dimensional characters at the screen, with no interesting characteristics and expected it all to grip me.

All of this and I'm expected to love it just because the Director was going on and on about Evolution, a theory a give no credance to anyway.

to protect this asshole, i won't divulge his email address.

please, whatever you do, don't email him an angry letter telling him how much he's incredibly wrong at the following address:

carllazarevic@whwn.com

under no circumstances should you do this.  those of you who care about film or have even simply read this post shouldn't take 60 seconds to type a short email.  no sir-ee.

[©brad]

hehehe. well, I didn't just send my email a second ago.

as for u beaman, where do you go to school? give u some of da best advice u will ever get- drop out. tomorrow.

[Cecil]

Evolution, a theory a give no credance to anyway.

oh right, it was all adam and eve.

[BonBon85]

We watched Run Lola Run in my English class. First comments: "It's in another language? The words move so fast I can't read them" So then my teacher switched it to the dubbed version. The came the inevitable: "How do they keep coming back to life?"

[Duck Sauce]

About Run Lola Run,

"Whats the point of this?"

and any movie with subtitles

"ill pass"

[CollinBullock]

So I was hanging out with my girlfriend and a few friends of hers who I never liked anyway.  They asked me to go out and rent a funny movie for them, so I rented American Movie which, in retrospect, is a movie that this crowd wouldn't understand unless someone farted and a car blew up.

Anyway, I turned it one, and about three minutes into it an asshole there said this immortal gem:

"You got a documentary?  I though you said you were gonna get a movie!"

I'll say it again:  A nuclear war is looking better every day.

[snaporaz]

About Run Lola Run,

"Whats the point of this?"

shit, i hate it when someone says that about any movie. FUCK. as if movies are supposed to accomplish a task or something. christ.

and about 2001: a space odyssey, i got into a little debate about it with some bitch on another board last night. she called it an overrated piece of shit. i told her i think it's the greatest movie ever made [honest opinion] and that she probably didn't understand what was going on, to which she replied with "i know more about it than you ever will! i hated having to watch that for my class to study homeostasis and reflexivity blah blah", to which i replied with "wll if you get it, why do you think it's an overrated piece of shit? and please don't give me some simpleton remark like 'it was boring.'"

i don't know...she doesn't seem like a total idiot to me, but i felt sorry for her for trying to "get" the movie by using some fucking kafka/freud/marx/whatever logic, and to try and be competetive with me about understanding movies. the film's more simple than lots of people think, i suppose.

anyways, about widescreen....ugh. i've actually had arguments with people that firmly contest that widescreen cuts off the top and bottom of the film. fucking idiots. even after explaining to him and and even drawing the fucking thing on a napkin, he still wouldn't concede.

people who complain about black & white.

one more thing...and i think some of you might actually disagree with me with what i'm about to bitch about...but i don't like it when people say gummo is the worst movie ever made. sure, you might hate it and call it stupid...but to say it's the worst movie ever...i just don't believe that. it could be the worst if it was made in a fashion of some sort like if it was "important", or otherwise filled with artistic integrity. and in my mind, it wasn't at all.

sometimes i feel people like/hate movies for all the wrong reasons.

/obvious

[snaporaz]

Anyway, I turned it one, and about three minutes into it an asshole there said this immortal gem:

"You got a documentary?  I though you said you were gonna get a movie!"

oh fucking christ...

anyways, i have an unusually happy story to add to this.

when i bought american movie about a year ago, all my fucking friends loved it. for about two weeks straight, anyone that would come to my apartment told me to put on american movie. everybody loved it so much, it was actually getting annoying.

still, great flick.  

[CollinBullock]

Yeah, I ahve a lot of friends who like American Movie too.  It just happens that my then girlfriend felt compelled to spend time with the stupidest fucking people she could possibly manage.  The kind of guys who decide that they hate america because, well "System Of A Down told me that we deserved to have planes run into us" or whatever.  Just real fucking wastes of egg and sperm.

So, these days, I just tend to try and limit the people I spend time around.  Keeps me from climbing clocktowers with rifles...