Two New Scripts

[Jake_82]

Since Greg shut down the board for no apparent reason without telling anyone in advance, I've come up with two very short scripts. These are both intended to be as short as possible so I can get them done without much work, and the second one is supposed to be under three minutes to qualify for a local student film festival thingy

http://www.oasisx.com/home.rtf

this one isn't too great but I just felt like writing something really quickly, thinking I would make it in December, but my main actress wasn't available so I'll probably put it off for a few months

http://www.oasisx.com/repair.rtf

I just wrote this last night, actually, and was thinking to myself "I wish I could post this on the PTA message board-- damn that Greg!" Much to my delight, I got that message in my email today so I can post this here. I tried to make it under three minutes, but it's about 5 minutes so I might have some difficulty, maybe have to cut some things out. Please  give me suggestions for this one, I'm really looking for feedback because I think the idea is good but it's kind of weak.

Thanks!

[Xixax]

Since Greg shut down the board for no apparent reason without telling anyone in advance, I've come up with two very short scripts.

Heh. The way this was worded led me to believe that the scripts were ABOUT the PTA board.

That would be kinda funny. A 7 minute short about the gripping drama of losing the PTA board!

[budgie]

That would be kinda funny. A 7 minute short about the gripping drama of losing the PTA board!

I believe I have a treatment.

[sphinx]

I believe I have a treatment.

i think we should have a script contest, write an epic about the history of the boards.

[MacGuffin]

i think we should have a script contest, write an epic about the history of the boards.

"Peace Out" is an epic in itself. Someone phone Charlie Kaufman.

[budgie]

I'd rather go intimate than epic. But I'm tempted by your challenge, sphinxie. I could do it with a cast of two and a pound of flesh.

[sphinx]

okay: you can either choose to adapt it as an epic or choose a period of time/event.

[Xixax]

FWIW, Jake's scripts were a fun read.

[budgie]

okay: you can either choose to adapt it as an epic or choose a period of time/event.

No, no, no. The way I see it there is no either/or. It's about perspective. 'Epic' has certain connotations that I don't see necessarily reflected.

Add a knob of lard and I'm sizzling.

Yeah, sorry Jake. I've read the first one and have some comments, but I haven't got around to the second one yet. I wish you'd posted them here so they were unavoidable.

[Jake_82]

I wish you'd posted them here so they were unavoidable.

Code Select Expand


INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Tim sits in a chair, staring off blankly.

                                           CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

Tim opens the fridge to find hardly anything there. He
stands looking at the fridge for a mintute.

                                           CUT TO:

INT. KINKO'S - LATER

A photocopier makes copies, while Tim stands by idly.

                                           CUT TO:

EXT. STREET - DAY

Tim puts up advertisements for computer repair on telephone
posts, etc.

                                           CUT TO:

INT. TIM'S HOUSE - LATER

Tim opens the door to his house, walks in, closes it behind
him.

                                           CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Tim sits in chair, staring off blankly, almost the same as
the first shot. The phone rings once. We cut to a shot of
Tim holding the phone

                        TIM
           Hello?

INT. UNKNOWN ROOM - SIMULTANEOUSLY

ECU of a woman speaking into the reciever.

                        WOMAN
           I need computer repair.

                                           CUT TO:

                                                           2.


EXT. WOMAN'S HOUSE - DAY

Establishing shot of the outside of the house from the
street. ECU of Tim pressing the doorbell. The door
immediately and quickly swings open.

                        WOMAN
                  (loudly and quickly,
                  without any pauses)
           Hi My Computer's Broken And It's
           Not Working And I Need You To Fix
           It Cause Your Ad Said You Could.

Beat.

                        TIM
           Okay.

                                           CUT TO:

INT. WOMAN'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Several shots of random things in her house, a stopped
clock, bizarre photographs on the walls, etc.

Tim follows her through the living room and down a hallway
and she goes into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
Tim stands there, confused for a minute. He silently
debates knocking on the door and we hear water running, a
toilet flushing.

The woman comes out of the bathroom and looks at Tim, puzzled.

                        WOMAN
           What are you doing here?

Tim tries to come up with an answer

                        TIM
           uh... you mean, uh,--

                        WOMAN
           Why aren't you fixing my computer?

                        TIM
           You didn't tell me where it was

                        WOMAN
           It's In The Garage Where Else Would
           It Be?

                                           CUT TO:

                                                           3.


INT. GARAGE - MOMENTS LATER

In the middle of the garage there is a table with a computer
and monitor on it and nothing else around it.

Tim tries turning on the computer, nothing happens. He
looks around the back for a minute, thinking.

                        WOMAN
           See What I Mean, It's Like I Said,
           It Just Doesn't Work.

Beat. Tim opens the case of the computer, looks in for a
second. He closes it and looks up at her.

                        TIM
           There's nothing in this case.

                        WOMAN
           What Do You Mean I Bought This At
           CompUSA! There Must Be Some
           Mistake, Maybe It's Supposed To Be
           That Way.

                        TIM
           Ummm--

                        WOMAN
           Maybe I Got A Virus Because My
           Friend Cassie Said Windows 97 Has
           Lots of Viruses and Matt Said This
           Computer Has Windows 97 So Maybe
           That's What's Wrong.

                        TIM
           I'm prettty sure there's supposed
           to be some hardware components
           inside the computer... Did you ever
           take it in for repair or something,
           or maybe one of your friends was
           working on it and removed some parts?

                        WOMAN
                  (strongly)
           I don't know what you're talking
           about because if anyone could have
           stolen my parts it was probably you
           because no one else has even open
           this thing and I sure as hell
           didn't! I'm CALLING Cassie.

                        TIM
           Uh-

                                                           4.


                        WOMAN
                  (on cell phone)
           Cassie GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW I
           hired some hotshot kid to see what
           the hell was wrong with my computer
           and I think he took the parts our
           or something to screw it up because
           it was working FINE until he came
           along so get over her right now.
                  (pause)
           No, I haven't called the police.
                  (pause)
           No.
                  (pause)
           I know! Just get over here.

                        TIM
           Ma'am--

                        WOMAN
           Don't Take That Tone With Me!

Cassie enters the garage.

                        WOMAN
           Cassie, Thank God!

                        CASSIE
           What seems to be the problem?

                        WOMAN
           This guy thinks someone stole the
           parts of my computer!

                        CASSIE
                  (glaring at Tim)
           They appear to be all here.

                        TIM
           No, on the inside--

Cassie rips open the side of the computer and looks inside

                        CASSIE
                  (all one sentance)
           Yeah he's not fibbing there's
           nothing in here I guess someone
           stole this crap
                  (to Tim)
           was it you?

The first Woman is sobbing hysterically and pacing around
the garage. She's glaring at him and walks towards him
backing him into the computer

                                                           5.


                        TIM
           What? No! I only just got here, I
           don't know what's going on, I
           didn't do anything. I'm just trying
           to repair--

He wlaks into the table and nudges the computer case,
catches it. The two women audibly gasp.

                        WOMAN
           What are you DOING?! I thought you
           were a computer SPECIALIST!

                        CASSIE
           I would call the police.

                        WOMAN
           That's what I'm going to do!

                        TIM
           No, ladies this is just a big
           misunderstanding

                        WOMAN
           I'm Having An Emergency At 295
           Jackson Lane, There Is A BURGLAR IN
           MY HOUSE!

Tim runs back into the house, still holding the case.

                        WOMAN
           Stop That Man!

Cassie runs after him and chases him through the hallway and
slams into him. He pushes backwards and she falls to the
ground, screeching at him. He leaves the house and starts
running down the street with the computer. She stands in the
doorway of the house. Quick Zoom in on her angered face.

                                           CUT TO:

EXT. STREET - LATER

Tim is walking down the street, still with the computer
case in his arms, exhausted. He throws down the case and
keeps walking.

                                           CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER

Tim sits in a chair, staring off blankly.

                                           CUT TO BLACK.

[RegularKarate]

I like it so far... is there an end to it?

[Jake_82]

that kind of is the end  

[Xixax]

I like it so far... is there an end to it?

I thought that was the end... More of a crazy incident being played out than a story with the ends all neatly tied-up.