Thomas Edison (Short Film Available for Viewing)

Started by matt35mm, January 01, 2005, 04:15:06 PM

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kotte

Over all, I like your shots very much. With some propper post-work they can be great.

There really is just one thing about those last shots that I don't like, and something you can't do anything about: The guy looks like he's working hard to keep his eyes closed in the first two as opposed to the last.

But you know, don't worry about it. They story will engage us, we won't notice.

Pubrick

Quote from: matt35mm
this shot reminds me of I'm Not Scared. make em all look like this and u've got urself a winner.
under the paving stones.

matt35mm

Here it is, the trailer for the movie.

A couple of shots are not quite how they'll appear in the movie, but they're fine for the trailer.

Download the large size, if you can.  Of course I want it seen in fairly high quality, although they're all quite compressed (I need to learn compression better).  They're all in Quicktime.

(20 MB)
(11 MB)
(4.5 MB)

Enjoy.

Ghostboy

Awesome, I'm so glad you posted this.

I know it's sort of pointless to critique a trailer when you're still in the process of cutting the film, but I'll do so anyway:

1. It starts off beautifully
2. It goes down hill once she says 'he's dead'
4. It ends beautifully.

I think the problem is that the trailer is so gentle in its style that, when the male character (I forget his name, sorry) starts to yell, it feels awkward and 'actorly' - it seems out of context, because that moment hasn't been allowed to build properly the way I think it will in the film.

I'd suggest (and again, this is silly, making suggestions for a trailer for a short, but still) cutting out all the incidental dialogue after she says 'he dead' and putting more voice-over through the whole thing, like you do at the end. That works wonderfully, and I think played over the majority of the trailer would make for some really nice juxtaposition.

I hope that makes sense, and in any case, thanks for giving us a glimpse, and I can't wait to critique the whole thing!

RegularKarate

I agree completely with Ghostboy (including it being pointless to critique) and I would add that while I'm a huge fan of dissolves and use them a lot myself, I find most of the ones in this trailer to be a little akward.

There are a couple that are almost beautiful except for the fact that they clip off too soon instead of completing a smooth dissolve.

kotte

I see a lot of potential in this...in you to be honest. You have a lot skills you need to keep working on.

Your actors does not. I did not like them at all.

Take this for what it is. Critique of a trailer. I promise you I will apologize if I feel different when I see the finished film.

matt35mm

Thanks for the comments.

Quote from: GhostboyI think the problem is that the trailer is so gentle in its style that, when the male character (I forget his name, sorry) starts to yell, it feels awkward and 'actorly' - it seems out of context, because that moment hasn't been allowed to build properly the way I think it will in the film.

I know what you mean.  In a way, I almost did this on purpose to make it feel like a real trailer, since real trailers do that.  Everything's out of context.

Quote from: RegularKarateI'm a huge fan of dissolves and use them a lot myself, I find most of the ones in this trailer to be a little akward.

There are a couple that are almost beautiful except for the fact that they clip off too soon instead of completing a smooth dissolve.
I don't use many dissolves in my regular work, but felt it fit the trailer-form better.  I don't think there will be any dissolves in the actual movie.

I did the dissolves that way on purpose, though, and they were quite a pain to achieve.  I don't like super smooth dissolves, really, as in the kind you get from a non-linear editor.  It's too smooth, too mathematical.  I tried to make my dissolves look more chemical--the way it's done with actual film.  I did this with Magic Bullet, which emulates the way film dissolves, with the brightest spots in the picture holding on longer and then snapping off.

They're just two different styles of dissolve and I prefer the Magic Bullet one.

Quote from: kotteI see a lot of potential in this...in you to be honest. You have a lot skills you need to keep working on.

Your actors does not. I did not like them at all.
Thanks for the complements on me.

As for the actors, the way I cut the trailer makes the acting look worse than it is, with bits and pieces out of context.  But if you don't like them at all, that's not really going to change with the final film.  I do feel that watching the whole film, you come away with a better overall performance from the actors, though.

For one thing, both of their performances are quite toned down (this was my direction), but I chose the most "actorly" shots because, like I said, I was just cutting it like regular trailers are cut.  I think a lot of people are impressed by screaming and yelling.  Interestingly enough, I probably juxtaposed the quietest and loudest moments of the film all in there at once, which I think it what makes their performance seem a lot more melodramatic than it would be in the full movie.

However, that might not be what it is that you don't like about them, I don't know.  This is my first trailer, so I'm learning as I go along.  I think the actual film will be a lot more assured in its direction and assembly, but I'm not going to bother re-editing the trailer.  It's just a tool to give people the gist of what's in the movie, and to show them that some effort was actually put into this (i.e. it looks and sounds pretty good).

Pozer

Quote from: kotte
Your actors does not. I did not like them at all.
Your grammer skills does not.  I do not like them at all.

meatball

Quote from: POZER!
Quote from: kotte
Your actors does not. I did not like them at all.
Your grammer skills does not.  I do not like them at all.

Your spelling skills does not. I did not like them at all.

matt35mm

Question: Did anybody actually think that the middle with

"You probably think that the biggest tragedy is that you won't get to contribute so greatly to society."

"God, Nicole, I was gonna do something with my life!"

"That won't make a case in court"

(She walks away)

... did anybody actually think that was an actual scene from the movie, in that it plays in the movie like that?

I assumed that people would realize that this was just bits and pieces to sum up a point, but I guess that's just because I'm so familiar with the script.  A surprising amount of people seem to think that these three lines are actually said like that in the movie.  That's my fault.  I'll keep this in mind for future trailers.

I shouldn't have cut it so smoothly that it seemed like those lines actually belonged with each other.  If you do look at it as an actual scene from the movie, of course it's retarded.  He wouldn't scream, and she wouldn't just say that and walk away slowly.  ... I thought people would just realize that.  I think the trailer works a lot better from the perspective of someone who's seen the whole movie.

If this was your problem with the acting, blame me.  I don't feel like re-cutting the trailer at this point (although I MAY after I give it some time).  I'd still say the majority of the trailer comes across the way I wanted it to.  And it looks and sounds great.

Pozer

Quote from: meatball
Quote from: POZER!
Quote from: kotte
Your actors does not. I did not like them at all.
Your grammer skills does not.  I do not like them at all.

Your spelling skills does not. I did not like them at all.
tooshay.

Figure 8

Quote from: matt35mmQuestion: Did anybody actually think that the middle with

"You probably think that the biggest tragedy is that you won't get to contribute so greatly to society."

"God, Nicole, I was gonna do something with my life!"

"That won't make a case in court"

(She walks away)
When I was watching the trailer after reading kotte's post, that was actually the part that I agreed with him on.  But really, it looks really good.

md

intro and endo was real nice.  Reminded me of George Washington....maybe the name has something to do with it....

i think subtle is the key....dont try to give away the story but merely the vibe...i think if the audiences likes what it sees theyll be curious to see more...

the scene you cut in the middle, after she says "you probably think....

yeah I could see where some confusion could set in, since its cut like a real scene but doesnt make too much sense dialogue wise.

Go with what kotte says and cut a trailer using more vo and images...

I have some technical questions for you: are you using the century optic 16x9 adaptor...those stills look like there 2:35:1....are you putting a larger matte over it in post?  What was this shot with, vx or gl?  

Were you using automatic focus...the stills, although composed very well have the hard electronic look...when shooting dv I generally try to zoom in as much as possible and use manual focus...it takes that hard edge away, and allows a much shallower depth of field

I can imagine you are probably eat, sleeping and pissing this film....i commend you....this film will have some heart and guts to it....our critisicm is just that, dont take it personal...take a day off if you need to sober up from that moviemaking high...sometimes it can make you go crazy! good luck md
"look hard at what pleases you and even harder at what doesn't" ~ carolyn forche

Pozer

One of the BEST trailers I've seen in a long while is the one for JARHEAD.  Check it out if you haven't.  To me, that is a PERFECT trailer.

Gamblour.

I agree, change up the images, vary the setting if you can.

And man, I'm sorry, I'm trying to be constructive... the part where the guy throws the rock...it's hilarious, which isn't good for this trailer. It's just weird, who actually throws a rock in anger? and if they do they'd try to do more damage than crushing dead grass. I think it ends pretty well...if you took out the sound of the guy crying at the end, it could have a little more power, i think.
WWPTAD?