The Critic

Started by ono, July 03, 2003, 02:21:49 PM

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ono

July 03, 2003, 02:21:49 PM
I put this here, because it seems to be most fitting.  I wish for a DVD, even though I have most episodes on tape.  This show is a gem, and since there are threads for Famliy Guy and South Park here, I thought it might fit.  Feel free to move it if needed, though.

Only 23 episodes of this show were made, and a few online shorts were created a couple years ago.  Yet, this is the best animated series ever, especially for cineasts.  So I highly recommend anyone who likes to laugh, and likes Family Guy style "beating-a-dead-horse-joke" pacing (which The Critic perfected first), look at their local listings and tape it whenever it's on Comedy Central late at night.

I watch this show every so often, what ones I was able to tape off Comedy Central, and I'm still finding new jokes every now and then.  For instance, Jay and Doris went to a horrid theatre production of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame."  They returned to her apartment, made small talk, and Jay passed out her couch.  The next morning, hearing Doris singing "Like a Virgin" in the shower, he thinks they've slept together.  Later at work, she brings him a pair of boxer shorts he left at her apartment.  Written on the front in big bright letters was "Shaft Coming Soon!"  I've seen that so many times, and took it just as a movie gag, but didn't get the pun until just last night.

Some memorable jokes, to give you an idea for anyone who hasn't seen it:

Jay is driving down a highway in an eighteen-wheeler (he's quit his critic job as a matter of principle; he's a trucker now).  A bus has broken down, and a bunch of French chefs, pastries in tow are crying out "help us!"  Jay sighs because he can't stop the truck.  He has a deadline to get a bunch of politically-correct textbooks to Florida so kids won't think that "Columbus discovered America or that Paul Revere was sober."  A farmer sits on the side of the road with a sign: "Meet Ingmar Bergman: $.25!"  Again, Jay sighs, even deeper this time.  The farmer says to Bergman, "Well, you best get back to the peanut patch with Polanski and Bertoloucci."

Also:

Jay is the kind of guy who, to lighten his image, says to his boss "how about a episode (of his criticism show) about all films I've loved?"

DUKE (Jay's boss, a parody of Ted Turner): Well, it better not be a bunch of arty foreign films no one gives a crap about.

Jay looks at his list (no doubt of mostly arty "foreign crap"), whimpers, and tears off one item and hands it to him.

DUKE (looks at the one "mainstream" item): Citizen who?

JAY (meekly): Kane...?

Another one:

Jay is running in the New York Marathon.  His Australian friend, Jeremy Hawke (a parody of pretty-boy stars, of course) runs up beside him.

JEREMY: Hello, mate.  You realize I can walk as fast as you can run?  (Starts walking on his hands.)  Even on my hands I'm faster than you.

JAY: Look, maybe if we talk about something else, it will keep my mind off the race.

JEREMY: Good idea.  Yesterday, I got a call from my agent.  They want me to star in Rubik's Cube, the movie.  And in the film, I'm given this puzzle.  If I don't solve it in one hour, a planeload of supermodels will die.

JAY: Okay, that's enough.

JEREMY: Now the problem is, I'm colorblind.  But my partner isn't.  Now here's the hook: my partner, is a DOG!

JAY: Please!  This isn't working.

JEREMY: You know who they're going to get to play the voice of the dog?  Roger Clinton!

JAY: Could you move a little to your right?

JEREMY: Alright, but wha--  Ahhh!!!

Jeremy falls down an open manhole.

JAY: Thank you!

Later... Jay is getting delirious from running so much.  Jeremy pulls up in his limo, with a woman in tow.

JAY: Jeremy!  I'm so glad to see you!  I've been thinking about that WONDERFUL Rubik's Cube movie.  So what happens?  Do the supermodels DIE?  It would be so sad if they did...

JEREMY: Jay, you look like you need help.  Fortunately, I've got a nurse with me.

WOMAN (sexily): I'm not a nurse, I'm a stewardess.

JEREMY: Oh.  Well, Jay, it looks like you could use a kosher meal.

JAY: A little kugel maybe you have?  (Smiles)

(Jay's Jewish, in case you didn't figure.  There's Jewish jokes aplenty here, but nothing really racist, more proud than anything.)

More coming soon.  :)

SoNowThen

#1
July 03, 2003, 02:28:24 PM
"We're the bears that sing for Duke. Doo-dah, doo-dah. Drinkin' moonshine 'til we puke, oh di-doo-dah-day."

Hehe, silly belchin' bears...
Those who say that the totalitarian state of the Soviet Union was not "real" Marxism also cannot admit that one simple feature of Marxism makes totalitarianism necessary:  the rejection of civil society. Since civil society is the sphere of private activity, its abolition and replacement by political society means that nothing private remains. That is already the essence of totalitarianism; and the moralistic practice of the trendy Left, which regards everything as political and sometimes reveals its hostility to free speech, does nothing to contradict this implication.

When those who hated capital and consumption (and Jews) in the 20th century murdered some hundred million people, and the poster children for the struggle against international capitalism and America are now fanatical Islamic terrorists, this puts recent enthusiasts in an awkward position. Most of them are too dense and shameless to appreciate it, and far too many are taken in by the moralistic and paternalistic rhetoric of the Left.

Derek237

#2
July 03, 2003, 04:09:20 PM
This was a pretty damn good show, but there are no repeats airing and All I have is slight memories of some of the jokes. Like the Roseanne/Jurrasic park joke, the Mrs. Doubfire/Arnold Schwarzenegger joke, little things like that. I also remember one episode where Jay's parents are stuck on an island with either monkeys or natives and one of them says to Jay's father, "I will crush your head with a rock while you sleep." I found it halarious then and still do now. For some reason.

BTW, why was the series so short-lived? I heard that it was because it offended many people including Arnold Schwarzenneger. The internet show was okay, but it just couldn't compare....

Sal

#3
July 03, 2003, 04:30:40 PM
Maybe I'm mistaken but I thought I read something about the Critic dvd's coming in early fall.

bonanzataz

#4
July 04, 2003, 12:04:51 AM
just for the record, i love this fucking show.
The corpses all hang headless and limp bodies with no surprises and the blood drains down like devil's rain we'll bathe tonight I want your skulls I need your skulls I want your skulls I need your skulls Demon I am and face I peel to see your skin turned inside out, 'cause gotta have you on my wall gotta have you on my wall, 'cause I want your skulls I need your skulls I want your skulls I need your skulls collect the heads of little girls and put 'em on my wall hack the heads off little girls and put 'em on my wall I want your skulls I need your skulls I want your skulls I need your skulls

Ghostboy

#5
July 04, 2003, 02:33:28 AM
My favorite episode was the Siskel & Ebert one. Did they do their own voices?

Sleuth

#6
July 04, 2003, 02:39:18 AM
Ghostboy yes ghostboy yes ghostboy
I like to hug dogs

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

#7
July 04, 2003, 01:36:44 PM
The only memory I have of the show, other than the intro was a scene where he was sitting in a jacuzzi and 2 or 3 women walked by and he said something to the effect of "hello ladies, i have tickets to some concert" and then one screamed "that thing's not plugged in!" and they ran away.

Ok, so that was a short memory, and not entirely funny...
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

godardian

#8
July 17, 2003, 12:49:57 AM
I would really love to see DVDs of this. I should've mentioned in the "who would play you?" thread that Jay Sherman should play me in the movie of my life.

My favorite was when he enthusiastically for renting "all 13 episodes of Berlin Alexanderplatz!' for father/son time.  :)
""Money doesn't come into it. It never has. I do what I do because it's all that I am." - Morrissey

"Lacan stressed more and more in his work the power and organizing principle of the symbolic, understood as the networks, social, cultural, and linguistic, into which a child is born. These precede the birth of a child, which is why Lacan can say that language is there from before the actual moment of birth. It is there in the social structures which are at play in the family and, of course, in the ideals, goals, and histories of the parents. This world of language can hardly be grasped by the newborn and yet it will act on the whole of the child's existence."

Stay informed on protecting your freedom of speech and civil rights.

TheVoiceOfNick

#9
July 17, 2003, 11:49:27 AM
My memories of this show are not that great, but I DO remember it being a really good show... the one joke that has never left me is when he becomes a truck driver and initially his handle is LARD ASS, but then by the end they change the L into an H to spell HARD ASS!


Nick

markums2k

#10
July 17, 2003, 01:19:15 PM
Only thing I remember is when that nurse from Empty Nest started doing a voice on the show.  And didn't they move from ABC to FOX or vice versa?  And they would make fun of the other network?

For the record, Jon Lovitz is hilarious.

Ravi

#11
July 17, 2003, 01:38:55 PM
This was a damn funny show.  Does Comedy Central still air it on Sunday nights?

Is the snack bar still open?

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

#12
July 17, 2003, 10:06:02 PM
To my knowledge, no to both.

Sorry, man.
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

modage

#13
July 17, 2003, 10:07:32 PM
you are mistaken.  

http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/thecritic/

sundays at 1:30am 12:30central

and yes, the snack bar is still very open.



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Quote from: Derek237The internet show was okay, but it just couldn't compare....

yeah i almost thought i imagined this.  who else here got to see it? they just made it a few years ago (long after the show went off the air).  it was pretty limited animation, but pretty bizarre that it came back in any form at all.  i went looking for it a minute ago but couldnt find any traces of it still online. does anyone know if you can still watch these online?
Christopher Nolan's directive was clear to everyone in the cast and crew: Use CGI only as a last resort.

ono

#14
January 29, 2004, 03:50:37 PM
Long time in replying, I know, but it's better than never.  You can still watch the animated shorts online, as far as I know.  Just check out comedycentral.com.

The big news, though, is The Critic is now out on DVD.  I haven't bought it myself yet, but I have 'em all on tape.  For anyone who does have the DVDs, how are they?  I definitely play to get 'em as soon as I can.  It's worth it to support such a ... heh ... "worthy cause."  :-D
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