a script

[samsong]

seeing as how my films are getting so much feedback, i thought i might throw my script out there to see what you guys think about it.  wrote it for class, and i hope to shoot it sometime next year in one of the advanced classes.  pm me if you're interested... include your email address so i can send it to you that way.  i dont' know how to attach pdf files on this site, if it's possible at all.

[ono]

One thing after another, it kept getting put on the backburner, but I finally got around to reading your script and commenting.

If Celine is counting steps and that's something she speaks, write it as dialogue, not action.

And, that's really the only note I have right now.  You have a solid grasp on format, and the only thing working against you is this isn't an original work.  It's easy to adapt a short story and make the script for THAT look good.  But more indicative of your talent would be writing something totally original.

My first reaction was, "okay, this is a little slight."  But that was before I got to page 8.  It's really not slight at all.  Very subtle, and if you get the tone right, this'll make a very good short film.  So good job there.  I wish I had more to say, but anything else I could think to say would be just nitpicking for no reason.  So there isn't much else to say except "Go make it."

[gob]

Yeah it's a solid script, I like the interplay between the two. In the words of that bright shining star Larry the Cable Guy: 'Git R Dun'.

[JG]

yeah, i tried to think of constructive things to say but i think i just need to see the final product.  i don't have the source material so i dunno how faithful it is.   its not good or bad yet, but it has the potential to be a nice short. 

[samsong]

thanks.