noah's ark

[Jeremy Blackman]

What the world really needs is a modernized version of the Noah's Ark story. In the vein of Romeo + Juliet.

Noah (Jeff Goldblum) would spend years bulding a ship, and then halfway through the process, he's frustrated and his ship is falling apart and it's really not working. So he hijacks a Disney cruise ship and uses that to transport animals (which are probably in cages, for obvious predator/prey reasons) and a few of his relatives (his sons and his wife, as the story goes).

God (Judi Dench or Hugo Weaving) would play a pivotal role, and would appear only to Noah's perception, telling him what to do (including the vengeance on Disney), kind of like Dustin Hoffman in The Messenger. I'm not sure how to play up the Vengeful God persona, other than to describe him as an angry drunk or a paranoid homeless man.

The flood would be like a global hurricane with terrential rain. Less like Waterworld, more like A Perfect Storm.

[©brad]

hahah. i luv it.

Noah (Jeff Goldblum) would spend years bulding a ship, and then halfway through the process, he's frustrated and his ship is falling apart and it's really not working. So he hijacks a Disney cruise ship and uses that to transport animals (which are probably in cages, for obvious predator/prey reasons) and a few of his relatives (his sons and his wife, as the story goes).

jeff goldblum? i just have a hard time taking him seriously is all. but maybe that's a good thing.

God (Judi Dench or Hugo Weaving) would play a pivotal role, and would appear only to Noah's perception, telling him what to do (including the vengeance on Disney), kind of like Dustin Hoffman in The Messenger. I'm not sure how to play up the Vengeful God persona, other than to describe him as an angry drunk or a paranoid homeless man.

yes yes, if anyone could do it, its her.

The flood would be like a global hurricane with terrential rain. Less like Waterworld, more like A Perfect Storm.

so who would direct? my pick: terry gilliam

[ShanghaiOrange]

The disney channel already did this with Tony Danza as Noah.

I'm not kidding either.

[coffeebeetle]

Angela, where's the second giraffe?!?

[MacGuffin]

If haven't seen it, you have to watch:



They can't get the ark into the stage because the production designer built it bigger than the stage doors' width. Eve Plumb (Jan from the Brady Bunch) plays Mrs. Noah. And one of the buffalo dies on set.

[Jeremy Blackman]

The disney channel already did this with Tony Danza as Noah.

I'm not kidding either.

That's just sick.

I guess the Noah role is flexible, but for some reason the Jeff Goldblum image is stuck in my head. For some reason, I think Justin Theroux would work. But yeah, Gilliam would be perfect. Maybe even Aronofsky or Lurhman. Just not Oliver Stone. It would be like a comedy played as an epic drama, like Dr. Strangelove in reverse.

MacGuffin, that isn't an 80s movie, is it?

[MacGuffin]

MacGuffin, that isn't an 80s movie, is it?

1993. It was during that time period when that whole boom of these kinds of films was the indie thing to do; make a no-budget movie about the making of a no-buget movie (Living In Oblivion, Big Picture, My Life's In Turnaround, etc.)

[Witkacy]

Cute plot and actor selection aside... wonder why you'd pick the Ark theme.  Tell me why it's important or relevant.  You must have something more to say than Goldblum and Dench in it.  As a theme... tell me why I would watch it.  Quips aside.

[Jeremy Blackman]

Cute plot and actor selection aside... wonder why you'd pick the Ark theme.  Tell me why it's important or relevant.  You must have something more to say than Goldblum and Dench in it.  As a theme... tell me why I would watch it.  Quips aside.

Why is God vengeful? Is God vengful? How ridiculous is it to think he's vengeful? Also, just exploring how strange the Ark story really is. As far as any pretentious sweeping conclusions about the human condition... this is bad time. That should come out in the end. Where's the discovery if you write only to confirm your own beliefs?

[Witkacy]

In the end, if you don't put your beliefs on film then what do you have...?   Why is God vengeful?  This is what you want to portray?  Why put God's? point on film, in any real sense...  if you think Noah's ark, it should be about people and their interrelations, about people's place in a world that is not theirs, about community, about living beyond one's own self interest, and not about who's best for the part...  It's nice to throw little threads out there for people to say...let's put so and so in this role and such, but it's another thing to actually realize what you're writing.

[Jeremy Blackman]

In the end, if you don't put your beliefs on film then what do you have...?   Why is God vengeful?  This is what you want to portray?  Why put God's? point on film, in any real sense...  if you think Noah's ark, it should be about people and their interrelations, about people's place in a world that is not theirs, about community, about living beyond one's own self interest, and not about who's best for the part...  It's nice to throw little threads out there for people to say...let's put so and so in this role and such, but it's another thing to actually realize what you're writing.

Yeah, yeah... but I would want all of that to come out of the writing. Like I said, it's ridiculous to plan out what you'll discover.