schema

[warmstepvision]

Advanced critique and harsh comments are welcomed and encouraged!
Story concentrated on a fragment of reality and character's responses to a tragic mishap that has occured yes, in his apartment!
First film down more to go.


Edit: Ok this is a bit messy, if you get a "forbidden" page you can click refresh on your browser. Or just you know Right click and Save As.
Thanks...

[matt35mm]

You're right, it does look pretty.  Good job!  Sure, the sound could be improved upon.  But I think it's fine for this movie.  I could see this having a place in some short film festivals.

Having done the "first film" myself, I realize that picture was the most important to you, and on that front, well done.  We'll only improve from here on out.

Good luck!

[warmstepvision]

Thanks Matt,
Looking into seeing more of you also.
Hoping that something will fly into my head now that i am sitting on a big writer's block.

[kotte]

It looks great. I'm impressed. I wanna know what camera, type of dolly (steadi), post production software you used.

The guy overacted quite a bit. That's too bad because it would've been a lot creepier if underplayed, almost noir-ish.

Good job!

[pete]

the performance was very stagey, I don't think the guy was engaging to me (via the camera) at all.  his reaction seemed quite unconvincing and forced.  it looked good, but, aside from the last frame, most of the time I did not understand what I was supposed to look at.  the set looks real neat, but I feel like I've seen it before in a lot of student films.  I have no clue what you're trying to say or show in this short.  And, granted the short screentime, your approach to death and reaction to death seems a bit derivative--from the "shock" to the repetitive stammering to crying to more crying to the camera conspicuously moving away to reveal this poetic drop of blood.  They all seem like conclusions drawn from watching contemporary films and plays as opposed to an honest, or at least more imaginative, insight.  Unless there is something extremely crucial that I've missed during my first viewing.  It was short, but I was bored.
but it did look good and the production design was slick.

[warmstepvision]

It looks great. I'm impressed. I wanna know what camera, type of dolly (steadi), post production software you used.

The guy overacted quite a bit. That's too bad because it would've been a lot creepier if underplayed, almost noir-ish.

Good job!

Hey there, glad you liked it. I used a homebuilt solution for a steadicam. Plans courtesy of www.dvcamerarigs.com. This was shot with a dvx100 and processed through vegas 5.

[warmstepvision]

the performance was very stagey, I don't think the guy was engaging to me (via the camera) at all.  his reaction seemed quite unconvincing and forced.  it looked good, but, aside from the last frame, most of the time I did not understand what I was supposed to look at.  the set looks real neat, but I feel like I've seen it before in a lot of student films.  I have no clue what you're trying to say or show in this short.  And, granted the short screentime, your approach to death and reaction to death seems a bit derivative--from the "shock" to the repetitive stammering to crying to more crying to the camera conspicuously moving away to reveal this poetic drop of blood.  They all seem like conclusions drawn from watching contemporary films and plays as opposed to an honest, or at least more imaginative, insight.  Unless there is something extremely crucial that I've missed during my first viewing.  It was short, but I was bored.
but it did look good and the production design was slick.

Hey there Pete,
In terms of camera dynamics i do not agree with you as it is true every move in the film was motivational. Motivation by the character and significant elements in the story. Film drags you along through following actions and cuts it when it matters no more. I enjoyed your review and i believe it is honest.  Glad i didn't bore you too long.

[RegularKarate]

I'm always happy to watch something look good on DVX since that's the camera I own.

Visually, I thought it was pretty good.  Had a decent float to it and the set was built well (though I could see the disconnection from the floor pretty well at one point).

I agree with a lot of what Pete was saying though.  I really didn't know what you were going for.  I thought the acting was very stagey and overdone.  The arm with the knife just looked plain silly and didn't really resolve anything except to end it.

Also, I really get tired of two minutes worth of credits on a three minute short.  People like making credits too much... credits shouldn't be as long as the feature.

[warmstepvision]

Hey there,
I did go crazy with the credits in order to keep up the song which is copyrighted material so i wanted to exhibit the artist for a longer time.
I understand empathy, i do realize it could have been done otherwise in this case. Writer did though want a tragic and yes very noir way of ending the film hence the arm and the crawl and the blood!
Again, thank you guys for honest reviews.