my script

Started by socketlevel, February 08, 2011, 01:18:43 AM

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socketlevel

Shameless plug.

For the last year and a half I've been writing a script. Once i was done the Second draft and hadn't yet shown it to anyone i submitted it to the American Zoetrope screenplay contest. This was back in September when the final deadline was called. I just got back the results on Feb 1. It was a very rough version of the script and I basically sent it in to see how I stacked up against other people in a similar situation as myself; being unprofessional screenwriters with no representation. I was pretty stoked that i made it to the quarter finals and beat out at least 2200 scripts submitted. I ranked somewhere between 39-200 in the contest. Considering it wasn't a polished version of the script, i was very happy with the results. I'm more eager then ever to make it lean and mean.

Since September I've been rewriting based on notes from close friends in the industry and i feel it's much stronger already, with a few more changes to make in the coming weeks.

I'm wondering if anyone on this site is interested in reading it and giving me feedback. In the next few weeks I should be ready to give it out. It's beefy. Roughly 130 pages. Two films i have received comparisons to are Network and Requiem for a Dream. If that's up your alley, or even if it's not, and you're game to give me feedback please post below or send me a PM. I would appreciate anyone willing to give me their time.

thanks guys.
the one last hit that spent you...

Sleepless

He held on. The dolphin and all the rest of its pod turned and swam out to sea, and still he held on. This is it, he thought. Then he remembered that they were air-breathers too. It was going to be all right.

Alexandro


ono


Pubrick

sure why not.

i can guarrantee a detailed review/analysis of the first 15-20 pages.

i'd still like the whole thing though.
under the paving stones.

Robyn


Reel

me too! same as P said, I prolly won't be able to get through it all, but I'd like to see where you're going with this.

socketlevel

cool, thanks for all the replies guys. I'll post on this thread when I'm ready in 2-3 weeks to send it out.

P and Reelist I totally understand and even if you can only give me insight/analysis for the first 25 pages or so that will still help me a lot. I'm a strong believer in grabbing the audience right away, but sadly a lot of scripts/films have lost the gentle art of setting up story. It's a fine dance between the two. I'm looking to find this perfect balance and if it doesn't do it for you any suggestions you'd have would help immensely. The reason a couple people said requiem is for the pace of the film, and how it builds. I hope you're into the story enough to make it to the end, but if not then I'm sure the reasons you weren't will be valid and beneficial to any subsequent draft.

oh and i just noticed i toppled 1000 posts :)
the one last hit that spent you...

socketlevel

I've been working on it a lot, cut a few more pages. need about one more week and i'll be good to send it. just keeping you guys updated.

thanks
the one last hit that spent you...

ono

What happened here?

socketlevel

Shit sorry, i got some major notes and i've been feverishly making changes. All for the better. I gotta put a better foot forward before I send it on out.

thanks for keeping interest though, i just need more time. I might have been a bit hasty with my initial post. It's still the main focus of my days at work when there is nothing to do, so i hope it won't be too much longer until i can deliver it!
the one last hit that spent you...

socketlevel

Finally ready, I hope all the people that posted here are still game to give it a go. I made substantial changes (but also took a lot of the summer off) since my first post regarding this screenplay.

what would be the best way to get it to each of you? email the PDF? If so, I guess PM'ing me your emails would be the answer.

thanks for the patience guys, one love.
the one last hit that spent you...

Sleepless

PM'ed you. Can you share a logline or something here so we know what to anticipate?
He held on. The dolphin and all the rest of its pod turned and swam out to sea, and still he held on. This is it, he thought. Then he remembered that they were air-breathers too. It was going to be all right.

socketlevel

I'm horrible at log lines. what i will say is it was inspired by my days working on an extreme makeover reality TV show and the 'reality' that ensued.
the one last hit that spent you...