Ask Thrindle

Started by Gold Trumpet, July 05, 2004, 10:14:34 PM

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Thrindle

Quote from: meatballWhich is better?

Being mentally superior and socially challenged?
Being socially superior and mentally challenged?
Tee hee, I'm still proud of submitting that quote.
I'd rather be mentally superior and socially challenged.  Being social is overrated.  In my world it means doing a bunch of shit you don't feel like doing, and prostituting yourself to a lifestyle that is shallow.  Blah (oh, have I really become a retired party girl?  Not entirely... but close).
Classic.

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

There's a person I know that is a really free spirit.  She's all about photography, and art.  She adores it and wanted nothing more than to be an artists when she grew up, and she's a really great friend of mine.  All of her free-spiritedness really made me feel like you could be into art and still make a living.  Even if you weren't rich, you'd be happy.

Now she's getting into her realist mode, and all the strength I once drew from her have been fading because if this person, who at one time was all about art and now wants a simple job and go to a crappy college just to get a degree, doesn't want to go into her passion, why should I?

I never knew how empowered she helped me become until she sort of stopped empowering me.

Have you ever been in this situation?  If so, how'd you deal with it, if not, what would you do?
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

ono

Again, not Thrindle, don't claim to be, all standard disclaimers apply.  I just figured, why's she get to have all the fun?

1) If the strength you drew was from someone else and it fades, and their strength fades, you were never strong at all.  You were crippled, and using a crutch.

2) Don't base your dreams, goals, and desires on what others' dreams, goals, and desires are.

I can't say that I've been in this situation, because I don't rely on other people too much.  Bottom line: figure out what you want to do.  Who cares if she's been jaded?  There are so many other people you can surround yourself with to help keep your mind on the right track.  Find those people if you deem it necessary, and spend your time with them instead.

Thrindle

Quote from: Walrus, KookookajoobThere's a person I know that is a really free spirit.  She's all about photography, and art.  She adores it and wanted nothing more than to be an artists when she grew up, and she's a really great friend of mine.  All of her free-spiritedness really made me feel like you could be into art and still make a living.  Even if you weren't rich, you'd be happy.

Now she's getting into her realist mode, and all the strength I once drew from her have been fading because if this person, who at one time was all about art and now wants a simple job and go to a crappy college just to get a degree, doesn't want to go into her passion, why should I?

I never knew how empowered she helped me become until she sort of stopped empowering me.

Have you ever been in this situation?  If so, how'd you deal with it, if not, what would you do?
Hmm, Ono, I got something entirely different from what Walrus said.  
I sense a feeling of disillusionment - and not necessarily just with the girl.  I've been feeling a little lost lately myself.  It's like: do I go to school, get the high paying job, work 40+ hours a week, have status?  
Or do I live simply and remain peaceful?
It's as though an idea of happiness that comes from passion (be it art, writing, charity work, a loving relationship, etc), is that of youthful naivete.  At least that's what I feel I'm being told.  It's as though not having money and power makes life mundane or pointless.

***I'm having a really hard time expressing myself with this one Walrus.  I feel as though I'm on the cusp... but not quite there.  

Basically, her strength of character and willingness to live life for herself, was inspiring.  We grow up watching everybody become the drones of society.  We say that we won't do it, but we do.  You saw something different in her, it made you want to do it differently to.  You know what?  She probably will...  but we all need experience different facets of life before we realise what works for us.  (I was a secretary once...  can you honestly believe that??)  Maybe she gave you faith in true happiness, the kind that is frowned upon for being too small (for lack of a better word).  Whatever it was Walrus, I have a feeling it's not gone in her... but I think that instead of feeling sad, you should maybe try cultivating it in yourself too.

Brilliant post Walrus... but I feel that our words failed us on this one.  Was I at least on the right track?
Classic.

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

Thank you, Thrindle.  "Inspiring" was more of the word I was looking for, but drawing strength from just came to mind first.

Thanks ono, too.
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

Well, this isn't a question, it's just been the chronicle of my love life so far.

So she has a new boyfriend now.

She's had him for more than a week.

We hung out a few days ago.

Therefore, she didn't feel compelled to tell me she was dating someone new.  That's fine.  We are broken up anyway.  But that day she makes these plans to hang out with me, and I get excited.  Hell, I even kiss her, and she doesn't react.  Now, her not reacting would've been better if it was followed up with a "I'm seeing someone, sorry I didn't tell you." But instead, I'm letting anticipation grow.  That on the weekend I'll get to hang out with my x-girlfriend who's still a little interested in me, and maybe love might start anew.  Ha.  That was wishful thinking.  So today, getting closer to this day, it's time to tell Nick she's seeing someone new.

Of course now, I still can't vent to anyone I know.  They'll say "Well, you weren't going out, it shouldn't matter" but damn it, it did.  Why did she invite me to hang out at her apartment with her Saturday night if she was dating someone?  I figured it'd be over night the way she talked about watching a bunch of movies.  Now, she's telling me it was only going to be a few hours.  I hardly ever see her, so not only am I excited to see her, but I would have been seeing her for longer than normal, and it would just be me and her.  And of course, I'm just wrong several times over.

Excellent.

This probably sounds dumb to whoever's reading, because I'm in a bit of a weird mindset right now.  Hell, I'll probably look back on this and laugh.

But am I wrong to think this sucks?
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

Thrindle

Oh wow Walrus, not a good day for "Ask Thrindle"... I'm a bit brutal today.

I think she's being a bit of a bitch with her "come hither" attitude.  Honestly, she's being selfish with her need for an ego boost.  It was just plain wrong to not tell you she was seeing someone, when you kissed her.  It's as though she knows you'll always be around.

My advice, skip movies.  Skip her.  


Having said that, I know where you are at mentally.  You are not gonna cancel movies.  You are going to keep hanging on, and hanging on and hoanging on, until she lops you off, or you just fall.  Either way...  NEW BEGINNING AHEAD!
Classic.

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

Quote from: ThrindleYou are not gonna cancel movies.  You are going to keep hanging on, and hanging on and hoanging on, until she lops you off, or you just fall.  Either way...  NEW BEGINNING AHEAD!

Actually, not too long after I got over my very unnamable mood, I called some girl I didn't even really know, all I knew about her was she liked movies.  My brother's girlfriend said that girl was into "weird" movies, probably ones I'd like.

So I call her.  And she's seen almost none of the movies I'm talking about.

The upside: I just called a girl I've never talked to before in my life without any nervousness.  I wasn't in my normal mindset of what excuse do I have for calling someone I don't know?

I mean, I've seen her and she's seen me before, but that's it.  So I call her and we talk about movies, and I keep mentioning those obvious movies that self-proclaimed movie buffs say they've seen (Requiem, Fight Club, Magnolia) and the newer ones (Garden State, Eternal Sunshine) and she's just listening to me give her my analysis on certain movies.   So, whatever.  It was a weird experience to call her, and I'll probably just be over Sarah until I see her again, and then it'll sting again, but who cares, right?
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

Chest Rockwell

Do you think any girl who leads guys on, intentionally or otherwise, is automatically a slut? a bad person?

Why is it that only us boys bitch about their love lives?

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

Quote from: Chest Rockwell

Why is it that only us boys bitch about their love lives?

Because I'm a boy and my love life has experienced turbulence lately.
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

Thrindle

Quote from: Chest RockwellDo you think any girl who leads guys on, intentionally or otherwise, is automatically a slut? a bad person?
No.  But they do annoy me, in the same way that guys annoy me who play games.  I'm not a big fan of games.  
Besides, I don't think girls are really sluts in the first place.  I'm not a fan of the idea behind being a slut.  But the rest of the world seems to be in love with the term slut... so it's sticking around for a while.
(see Next President thread for more information on what I think of the rest of the world)

Quote from: Chest RockwellWhy is it that only us boys bitch about their love lives?
Because xixax is male dominated, and I've provided a forum for all of your relationship woes.
Classic.

Chest Rockwell

So yesterday I think I was able to get the girlfriend (by this point I should stop saying any names) to orgasm, kind of accidentally. I'm not sure what its like for a girl exactly, but I'm pretty sure it happened. Amazingly enough, I never even touched her private parts, and wasn't expecting it. But, point is, does this change things? Obviously this would be the first time this sort of thing has happened to me, so I'm not really sure where I'm supposed to take this now and at the time I didn't know if I should even talk to her about it. I did ask little questions like "Are you alright?" when she was shaking quite a bit (she just nodded absent-mindedly) and afterwards "what happened?" (she responded rather hastily "nothing"). Should I ask her if it really did happen? If yes, should I then ask if a. I crossed the boundaries? b. How she feels about it? c. Did she feel comfortable and safe?...etc. How should I approach the issue, Thrindle?

The Perineum Falcon

Quote from: Chest RockwellAmazingly enough, I never even touched her private parts, and wasn't expecting it.
You must teach me this trick of yours.
We often went to the cinema, the screen would light up and we would tremble, but also, increasingly often, Madeleine and I were disappointed. The images had dated, they jittered, and Marilyn Monroe had gotten terribly old. We were sad, this wasn't the film we had dreamed of, this wasn't the total film that we all carried around inside us, this film that we would have wanted to make, or, more secretly, no doubt, that we would have wanted to live.

Thrindle

Quote from: ranemaka13
Quote from: Chest RockwellAmazingly enough, I never even touched her private parts, and wasn't expecting it.
You must teach me this trick of yours.

I'm confused Chest.  PM more information... I don't understand why this is a bad thing.
Classic.

Pubrick

dude, cytherea is faking it.
under the paving stones.