Crap commentaries...

Started by SoNowThen, June 27, 2003, 01:21:57 PM

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life_boy

#15
June 28, 2003, 03:38:08 AM
Quote from: filmcriticI think the worst commentary I've probably ever heard was with Carrot Top for "The Rules of Attraction". I have no idea why Roger Avery would ever allow Top to make comments on his movie. It's not funny, insightful, interesting or informative in the slightest. It's just plain awful. A film like this deserves much more respect than what that DVD commentary track gave it.

Damn, I can't believe I forgot about this one (a good sign, I suppose).  


It's almost funny if you drink while operating the commentary.

chainsmoking insomniac

#16
June 29, 2003, 02:05:01 PM
Why and the fuck would he have Carrot on there anyway?  What was the rationale behind this????
"Ernest Hemingway once wrote: 'The world's a fine place, and worth fighting for.'  I agree with the second part."
    --Morgan Freeman, Se7en

"Have you ever fucking seen that...? Ever seen a mistake in nature?  Have you ever seen an animal make a mistake?"
 --Paul Schneider, All the Real Girls

life_boy

#17
June 29, 2003, 10:30:05 PM
To be cool in a goofy, frat boy kind of way, I guess.  This follows the idea that anything odd is cool, but it doesn't always work out like that.

Myxo

#18
July 01, 2003, 11:38:08 AM
Quote from: SoNowThenSo, sorry if this is a repeat, but I know we have a Favorite Commentary thread, so we should have this one as well. Kind of like a warning to not listen. My example is: The Devils Advocate. I used to really like that movie, until I listened to 15 minutes of the garbage commentary by Taylor "The Hack" Hackford. Did this man truly direct the film? All he does is say "there's a CU of Keanu's boots... now there's a medium shot of a girl. She's crying". Fuck, what is this guy bringing to the table? I can't stand junk like this.

So please list the really shit ones, so I don't ever get myself geared up to see them.

Oh, some others I can think of are Altman's for The Player and Nashville. I love the man, but all he does is say the same thing over and over; "that's not scripted, that's all improv, the actors made that up, it's not scripted". Although the Player is saved by some pretty witty comments from the writer.

Favorites:
Almost Famous, Fight Club, Requiem For a Dream, Terminator 2.

Hate:
Donnie Darko's commentary is aweful. Jake Gyllenhaal CONSTANTLY interrupts the director every single time he tries to talk. Also, I hate it when directors try and explain the "mystery" of a film. Why do that? That is EXACTLY why David Lynch doesn't do commentaries.

Dances With Wolves' commentary is pretty aweful as well. At least the commentary with Kevin Costner is anyway. I think there are like 28 commentary tracks or some shit on that new SE DVD.

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

#19
July 01, 2003, 04:55:01 PM
I love commentary usually because it either kills time, offers insight to a movie or both.  BUt I can't stand it when the commentary is so few and far between, so you have a the quiet hum of the movie, and random things like "we filmed this shot on site," then it goes back to silence.

No examples come to mind as of now...
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

#20
July 01, 2003, 04:58:14 PM
Because everyone keeps mentioning the Fight Club one that they liked it, I will too.

My favorite part is how Helena Bonham Carter speaks her extremely British tone and then shifts to do lines from the movie.  Around the part where she says the "Cancer, right?" line.  Gets me everytime.
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

edison

#21
July 02, 2003, 02:36:37 PM
Quote from: Ghoulardi GoonWhy and the fuck would he have Carrot on there anyway?  What was the rationale behind this????

i read that Avery wanted to have him do the commentary bc he hadnt seen the film before so Avery thought it would be cool to have him make comments on it while watching it for the first time, i listened for about 10 minutes then turned it off.

chainsmoking insomniac

#22
July 02, 2003, 02:45:38 PM
I don't blame you.  That's got to be the shittiest commentary idea I've ever heard.  
I mean, Christ......
"Ernest Hemingway once wrote: 'The world's a fine place, and worth fighting for.'  I agree with the second part."
    --Morgan Freeman, Se7en

"Have you ever fucking seen that...? Ever seen a mistake in nature?  Have you ever seen an animal make a mistake?"
 --Paul Schneider, All the Real Girls

jokerspath

#23
July 02, 2003, 02:51:28 PM
Quote from: Ghoulardi GoonI don't blame you.  That's got to be the shittiest commentary idea I've ever heard.  
I mean, Christ......

I'm sure the commentary sucks, but something about that intrigues me.  I guess the idea of a commentary is almost like the idea of another movie to me, so when directors don't put 'em on there, I feel like its a big loss, no matter what the other extras are.  

I like the idea of a shitload of commentaries, esp. something as bizzare as having someone who's never seen the movie do one.  Obviously it would be better if it wasn't Carrettop (not that I can say that from experience since I haven't heard/seen it), but I hope the fact that this commentary has not been well recieved won't kill the chances of people doing such an odd thing like this again.

Also, I hate commentaries where there is gaps of silence.  That kills me...

aw
THIS IS NOT AN EXIT

ProgWRX

#24
July 08, 2003, 10:42:48 AM
by far the most dissapointing commentary i have experienced is the one for Snatch,  Guy Richie and the other person in it (dont even recall) basically let us know that theyre doing it because the studio wanted them to, and it shows  :x
-Carlos

penfold0101

#25
July 10, 2003, 07:47:36 AM
Quote from: ProgWRXby far the most dissapointing commentary i have experienced is the one for Snatch,  Guy Richie and the other person in it (dont even recall) basically let us know that theyre doing it because the studio wanted them to, and it shows  :x

I didn’t like that either!

Also Spike Lee Summer of Sam, I found so very boring.
and Groove all round poor commentary.
"There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. And that, I think, was the handle - that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting - on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave.
So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high - water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back." - Hunter S. Thompson.

Pwaybloe

#26
July 10, 2003, 09:25:50 AM
Quote from: penfold0101Also Spike Lee Summer of Sam, I found so very boring.

Well, it's great to know that us Region 1 guys don't even get the option.

Sigur Rós

#27
July 10, 2003, 09:28:15 AM
Quote from: AlguienEstolamiPantalonesim a commentary junkie so i hate when the directer sounds bored

but also american beauty was not so great because sam mendez kept stepping on alan ball's words

Yeah and lickin' his ass!

jonas

#28
July 14, 2003, 10:56:40 PM
Quote from: AlguienEstolamiPantalones

but also american beauty was not so great because sam mendez kept stepping on alan ball's words

Glad to see someone else noticed how Sam Mendes thinks the film is great because of what he did. He sounds like an asshole.

He's done decent work thus far, but I think he thinks he's much better than he really is.
"Mein Führer, I can walk!" - Dr. Strangelove
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