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Release date: September 19, 2014
Starring: Haley Joel Osment, Genesis Rodriguez, Justin Long, Michael Parks
Directed by: Kevin Smith
Premise: When his best friend and podcast co-host goes missing in the backwoods of Canada, a young guy joins forces with his friend's girlfriend to search for him.
HASHTAG WALRUSYES
nobody has said it yet? really?
the human walrus
LAME
Justin walrus Long pic that Kevin Smith posted on his facebook page: (Spoiler?)
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Btw: "I don't want to die in Canada" is quite a funny line!
if anyone else like me is baffled by this premise, here's a podcast clip where the idea for the movie was born. Whether you find the story interesting or not, you have to admit it's pretty cool to hear him coming up with it in real time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj932CDnRFU
Bahaha wow. That made my week. I want to see this now.
I'm such an idiot for watching that trailer. I don't know why I'm even in a Kevin Smith thread. It's amazing how he continually stays in front of audiences.
Haha I can't believe how incredibly dumb that is. Did he crowd fund this or something? Seems like the type of idea thats so ridiculous people donate to it just to see it seen through.
he said this:
"even though I love the crowdsource financing model and wish I could go swimming in their deep, cash-rich waters, it's just not to be for me. There's a reason I said that shit about not crowdsource-funding Clerks III out loud and in print: so I wouldn't ever leave myself that option. As easy as it would be to pull together a few million for Tusk from the SModcast audience alone, I've gotta leave that money for the new generation of filmmakers -- none of whom are gonna find fat patrons if said Medicis are busy funding the ideas of someone like me. I already have connections in the movie business and can always find backing if I apply myself."
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/kevin-smith-talks-tusk-639293?page=1 (http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/kevin-smith-talks-tusk-639293?page=1)
Huh. That post caused me to really like Kevin Smith for a moment.
I also liked his HDTGM episode, actually.
Did anyone go and see this?
Quote from: mogwai on September 29, 2014, 12:15:15 PM
Did anyone go and see this?
I did. I hadn't seen the last couple KS movies (Red State, Cop Out) and hated the couple before that (Zach & Miri, Jay & Bob) but thought I'd give this a shot since the premise was crazy, the reviews were pretty good out of TIFF and I did love him in high school. What the hell, right? It could be fun!
It was truly
awful. Unfunny, juvenile, incredibly cheap looking and just fucking boring. I don't know how it is possible but Kevin Smith has actually gotten worse as a filmmaker.
I will never see another Kevin Smith movie.
That's sad because the trailer seemed promising. I saw one scene online and it's the one where Justin Longs character arrives at Canadian customs. That whole scene with the set looks very weird and a more of a bad snl sketch.
Yeah, I mean I went in with no axe to grind. I had read the reviews that basically implied he'd been reborn as a low-budget horror filmmaker and I was ready to dive in.
There is a scene set in a fast food restaurant where 3 characters are talking that feels like it goes on for 25 minutes long. It is completely unfunny, there are even more unfunny digressions and flashbacks and it just looks cheap as fucking hell (there are literally zero extras in this restaurant and the one other person to enter the scene is Smith's wife). It's like he thinks he's writing the basement scene in Inglourious Basterds but he's just nowhere near that planet.
What's even worse is like, it can't even just be a terrible movie, it's got to have in-jokes and setup for his new terrible universe/franchise with introducing his and Depp's daughters characters (stay tooned for that snootchie booche)
Kevin Smith Secures 'Clerks III' Financing Thanks to 'Tusk'
Kevin Smith has been talking about making "Clerks III" for years, but it sounds like his script may finally become a sequel, thanks to the box office bomb "Tusk."
"'Tusk' was the absolute bridge to 'Clerks III,'" Smith said during Friday's "Hollywood Babble-On," his weekly live podcast. "Because of 'Tusk' I got my financing for 'Clerks III.'"
"Tusk" stars Justin Long ("Accepted") as a podcaster who ventures to a secluded location in Canada by himself to interview a seafarer, played by Michael Parks ("Red State"), who is obsessed with walruses, and wants to turn Long's character into one.
After 10 days in theaters, "Tusk" has only managed to make $1.4 million, and has received mostly negative reviews. It must, however, have at least one very wealthy fan, because he's managed to fund a movie that The Weinstein Company — which produced "Clerks II" and owns the rights to the franchise — refused to finance for $6 million, but agreed to distribute.
"A year and change ago I was desperately trying to get 'Clerks III' made for the 20th anniversary and that desperation — I must have reeked of it because I couldn't f–king find money and shit," Smith said during the podcast at the Hollywood Improv. "But it was 'Tusk,' people going 'Holy f–k, what else do you have?' and I was like 'Clerks III' and they're like 'done'. So, everybody that's like, 'He failed, he failed,' I'm like 'Thank you, I failed into doing 'Clerks III.'"
Smith announced plans for a third and final outing for New Jersey convenience store clerks Randal (Jeff Anderson) and Dante (Brian O'Halloran) in March of 2013. He later said it would be his "last cinematic effort as a writer/director," but then later become enthralled with "Tusk," and has since announced a religious rapture comedy, "Helena Handbag," as well as a Christmas-themed horror movie and a "Tusk" spinoff starring his daughter, Harley Quinn Smith.
Smith said late last year that he expects to start production on "Clerks III" in May. Currently, he's begging his 2.66 million Twitter followers to give "Tusk" a chance in theaters, where it is "gasping for air."
Quote from: modage on September 29, 2014, 01:50:03 PM
Yeah, I mean I went in with no axe to grind. I had read the reviews that basically implied he'd been reborn as a low-budget horror filmmaker and I was ready to dive in.
There is a scene set in a fast food restaurant where 3 characters are talking that feels like it goes on for 25 minutes long. It is completely unfunny, there are even more unfunny digressions and flashbacks and it just looks cheap as fucking hell (there are literally zero extras in this restaurant and the one other person to enter the scene is Smith's wife). It's like he thinks he's writing the basement scene in Inglourious Basterds but he's just nowhere near that planet.
What's even worse is like, it can't even just be a terrible movie, it's got to have in-jokes and setup for his new terrible universe/franchise with introducing his and Depp's daughters characters (stay tooned for that snootchie booche)
He's said he's making a canadian horror trilogy but since Tusk bombed the following movies will probably be released straight to dvd. Kind of shame because as you wrote that he had been reborn etc. My opinion is that the first five movies he did is he best, making Chasing Amy the masterpiece. Then he got depressed because Zack and Miri flopped and starting smoking dope. Tried to enjoy Red State but it also suffers from lengthy monologues. It's kind of ironic because Smith himself took a shit on the length of "Magnolia", remember?
It's certainly an improvement from 'Red State', but he could've done that blindfolded. I'm glad he made this film because it serves as a great example of a director going 'overboard' with his vision, even on this small of a scale. He throws way too many unrelated elements into the pot and expects it to work as his own brand of absurdism. He doesn't have a good grasp of the tone he wants in these last two ventures outside of comedy. That's not to say the movie isn't without it's charms. I was very impressed with Michael Parks' performance and found his monologues to be some exceptional writing, coming from Smith. If a better director sees this and remembers that Parks is still working and decides to hire him, then it won't be all for naught. My favorite parts are the conversations between Parks and Long in the beginning. I really was captivated for a time there in how they were setting up what's to come ( even though I've known about it for MONTHS ). Then it just spirals out of control after the first time we see the Walrus suit and forgets what kind of movie it wants to be.
SPOILERS
The suit is a HIDEOUS sight, truly disturbing, but after seeing it for awhile all you can think about is how bad it looks. This whole time I was expecting to see a guy trapped in a REALISTIC walrus suit, but it turns out it's a patchwork of human skin stitched together from different bodies. I know that Smith wanted to up the ante and show something shocking and grotesque, but the idea of being sewn into a suit that resembles a walrus is SCARY ENOUGH for me. He's always trying so hard to outdo himself that any potential for subtlety flies right out the window. This is a Kevin Smith movie, you wanna freak me out? SHOW THE GUY FUCKING THE WALRUS! There's even foreshadowing about how big the walrus dick is that just gets thrown by the wayside. He really lost his way somewhere writing this script. The more he keeps throwing out these semi-cool premises and fucking it up, the less I want to keep supporting his movies. I'll watch this again, though. Maybe many times. It has some moments that felt inspired, but the second half was a huge disappointment for me.
TL;DR: Needs more bestiality?
You can't have a walrus cock over your mantle in act 1 if its not going to be used in act 3
A little inside news to the follow up "Yoga Hosers. Michael Parks won't be in it as he was unavailable due to health problems. Instead Ralph Garman from Kevin & Bean show and Kevin's co host at Hollywood Babble On will take over. Johnny Depp will reprise his dumb character from Tusk.
The question is: Will it gross more or less than Tusk?
and will it be more or less gross?
Thanks, I just wasted several minutes looking up info on Yoga Hosers.
Anyway, is it basically a collection of Canadian stereotypes?
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Any canadians in the room who can answer that, eh?
Speaking for 'Tusk', none of the canadian references work. It's like he's trying to recreate the 'Mooby's' marketing with no satire. His daughter can't act but he claims he didn't have to direct her at all because "she learned from the TV." He tries to pass LA as Canada and it's so glaringly obvious. Like, couldn't you at least wait for a slightly overcast day, dude? "Nope. Johnny Depp's in town for 2 days, gotta shoot!" Soooooooo lazy
The scene at the Canadian customs is so painfully unfunny.
Smith has had a Shyamalan plummet from grace ever since Zack & Miri didn't perform the way he expected. I remember watching Tusk in theaters upon its release then stumbling on Cop Out while channel surfing a few hours later. God really threw a red flag that day, demonstrating in full the ways Smith had erred in his career. Hard to believe this is the same guy that made Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Clerks. Guy started smoking weed heavy after that Porno movie bombed and his movies have been shitslide since. Blame Seth Rogen.
Oh my. Yoga Hosers looks real bad.
I know the movie apparently gets weird, but this scene is the very definition of the thing I am not interested in seeing. Unpleasant, uninteresting, unfunny. Do people really have this much nostalgia for high school?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITVxdU51ciE
..what in gods name
i feel like someone took 'can't hardly wait' into the 80s and then chewed it up and vomited it in the future. this is next level horrible.
Well, I will give him credit for casting 15 year old girls who are actually 15, not 25. I can't say I'm a fan of his anymore, but I like this horror trend he's been on because he seems to be going out of his way to do exactly what he wants. Even if he's unsucessful, he's leaving us a barrage of work to publicly mock him for. I find that respectable, better to make things that get people talking than not at all.
My relationship with his work is funny because I only got to know about Kevin Smith when the dude was on his way down. First movie of his I saw was Dogma and then Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. So to me his movies were only the stupid (in a good sense) comedies with some very funny dialogue - except for Chasing Amy which I saw on a stage in my life when it spoke to me very strongly - and he was never the indie god who picked up a camera and made a hit with his friends.
His latest movies have been weird in a very very particular way, but I admit to have found them entertaining enough. Red State had a great Michael Parks performance and was creepy and all over the place enough for me. Tusk came out of nowhere, I didn't know shit about it when I saw it, and it seemed to go out of its way to be preposterous. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, it was a very specific kind of 'fuck you, I'll do whatever I want'. It's one of those bad movies that I enjoyed and can't even start to think 'how is that even possible?' I only know I'd rather watch a bad WTF-is-this movie like Tusk than a bad Academy friendly prestige film like The Imitation Game any day of the week.
Maybe the problem with Kevin Smith in general is that he was made to be something he really wasn't when he started out. Whenever I see one of his movies, the only expectation is that I laugh a bit. That's what I expect from Yoga Hosers. (That said, didn't have the guts to see Cop Out yet. That one sounds really terrible.)
Quote from: Reelist on January 25, 2016, 06:38:20 PMWell, I will give him credit for casting 15 year old girls who are actually 15, not 25.
Right. Having a character call his 15-year-old daughter "sexy" was a nice touch.
Quote from: Reelist on January 25, 2016, 06:38:20 PMWell, I will give him credit for casting 15 year old girls who are actually 15, not 25.
That's not to say they'll be any
good, as that clip plainly shows, but there's been such a tiresome trend of casting 20 somethings as teens so they can conveniently sexualize them. I'm hoping Smith doesn't do any creeper shots of their bodies, that'd be soooooo weird!! Them having filthy mouths seems par for the course though. I won't be able to believe a single word they say, but it should turn out to be an interesting experiment
I do agree with you emphatically on principle. It's just that, if they're actually going to this party, it could get weird. Feels a bit worse with Depp's daughter, who looks more 15 and significantly less comfortable. I don't know, I guess I'm making assumptions; for all I know, Kevin and Johnny have already brought them to drug-fueled Hollywood orgies.
Well, we still don't know how this story turns out. They could go to this party and realize the guys are total jerkoffs and then watch them get killed ( if you didn't know there's supposed to be some crazy monster ). Doesn't that seem like the more feasible route it would take, going for girl empowerment instead of pure exploitation? Maybe I'm giving him too much credit. It does look bad
Again I actually think (or hope?) you're right. But if that clip is supposed to be representative of the movie, it's just so dull and humorless and has absolutely no indication of expectations being subverted. (I guess it doesn't matter, and I shouldn't complain, because there's no way I'll be seeing this.)
I don't blame you, he really stinks. I used to like his podcast, but I just can't tolerate all the self congratulatory laughter. It actually hurts my head to hear him do that fat boy chuckle for such extended periods of time. If he has a heart attack on the show one day, it'd be the best death ever.
I do have to shamefully admit that I'm addicted to the Fan-geeks Chodeshow also known as "comic book men"
Review from The Verge (http://www.theverge.com/2016/1/26/10834790/yoga-hosers-review-kevin-smith-sundance-film-festival-2016) just published today. It is not a positive review.
i would't even call it a review.
I would argue that stoner Kevin is still preferable to Jersey Girl Kevin.
I think I found out about this because people at work were talking about it once it hit Redbox. I have never really been a fan of his films, the few that I've seen. I do watch Comic Book Men. Anywho, I had no expectation for Tusk and was pleasantly surprised. It felt like a TV horror show episode (think Monsters or Tales From the Darkside) expanded to a movie and directed by Tarantino.
The reviews for Yoga Hosers are scathing. From RT (https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/yoga_hosers/):
Critics Consensus: Undisciplined, unfunny, and bereft of evident purpose, Yoga Hosers represents a particularly grating low point in Kevin Smith's once-promising career.
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