Superman Returns

[Derek]

IMDB is listing the sequel as "Superman: THe Man of Steel"

[pumba]

Look! Up at the Screen!
-Jon Handelman

Wrapping up food makes no long term sense because any packaging has no practical use after it's opened. Waste is created at the exact moment something is eaten. Where does the garbage go? We're told to forget about it. It's hauled off somewhere, a place that we don't live anyways, and that's not our problem. Out of sight, out of mind. On to the next candy bar.

I went to go see "Superman Returns" last week. It was without any doubt whatsoever the worst movie ever created. Superman...SUPERMAN...does not throw a single punch. Think about that while reading the reviews in the papers...reviews telling us what a "super" movie this is, how the dichotomy between Lois Lane and Superman is compelling, the effects amazing, and the casting flawless, all the while ignoring the immense amount of garbage that's spewed out. This derision of a film has Superman throwing away his problems time and time again, from the middle climax, where Supes throws a plunging rocket into space, to the ending climax where he throws the dreaded Kryptonite island (which should have killed him before he picked it up)...into space. That's right: Superman treats his problems like you treat your packaged food. Don't even get me started on the awful dialogue and the cheesy plot.

There's a large segment of your reading this right now, and you're scrunching your faces and shaking your heads and going "Oh you're just too picky! What did you expect?" I'll tell you something: this IS what I expected...but when you expect a grandparent to die, it doesn't make the tragedy any easier to endure. And how stupid is this that we have to keep lowering our expectations for multi-million dollar movies? People are homeless on the streets while other people can be rich by making films, and we're not meant to enjoy it too much? Come on.

There's nothing more irritating than someone with low expectations because their always content with the least possible, and being happy with the worst, gets them the worst. These are the guys who are happy to mop floors for twelve hours a day, who are smiling while being the fry guy, the happy go lucky folks who whistle as they flip burgers. Ultimately, they make things worse for the rest of us...because one person who's willing to put up with a poor standard of living will attract imitators, until everyone is forced to put up with these newfound shoddy standards that eventually become the norm.

In terms of how much credit we gave this movie, "Superman Returns" speaks volumes about who and where we are as a culture. It preaches to us about our longings for the freedom to escape our going-nowhere lives. It computer-generates our desires to solve world problems that seem too big and far away to care about. Most of all, it confirms our suspicions about needing a white male saviour to solve our problems, helpless little pawns that we are.

We live in garbage land, and we tend our fields of refuse as our polluted skies shower down us with acid rain. As always, art imitates life, and is reflected back to us through the magic of Hollywood. The critics have spoken, and they like what they see. Do we?

myspace.com/jonhandelman

[RegularKarate]

what an amazing waste of letters that review was.

[pumba]

 

[RegularKarate]

Did you write it?

[Derek]

Look! Up at the Screen!
-Jon Handelman

Wrapping up food makes no long term sense because any packaging has no practical use after it's opened. Waste is created at the exact moment something is eaten. Where does the garbage go? We're told to forget about it. It's hauled off somewhere, a place that we don't live anyways, and that's not our problem. Out of sight, out of mind. On to the next candy bar.

I went to go see "Superman Returns" last week. It was without any doubt whatsoever the worst movie ever created. Superman...SUPERMAN...does not throw a single punch. Think about that while reading the reviews in the papers...reviews telling us what a "super" movie this is, how the dichotomy between Lois Lane and Superman is compelling, the effects amazing, and the casting flawless, all the while ignoring the immense amount of garbage that's spewed out. This derision of a film has Superman throwing away his problems time and time again, from the middle climax, where Supes throws a plunging rocket into space, to the ending climax where he throws the dreaded Kryptonite island (which should have killed him before he picked it up)...into space. That's right: Superman treats his problems like you treat your packaged food. Don't even get me started on the awful dialogue and the cheesy plot.

There's a large segment of your reading this right now, and you're scrunching your faces and shaking your heads and going "Oh you're just too picky! What did you expect?" I'll tell you something: this IS what I expected...but when you expect a grandparent to die, it doesn't make the tragedy any easier to endure. And how stupid is this that we have to keep lowering our expectations for multi-million dollar movies? People are homeless on the streets while other people can be rich by making films, and we're not meant to enjoy it too much? Come on.

There's nothing more irritating than someone with low expectations because their always content with the least possible, and being happy with the worst, gets them the worst. These are the guys who are happy to mop floors for twelve hours a day, who are smiling while being the fry guy, the happy go lucky folks who whistle as they flip burgers. Ultimately, they make things worse for the rest of us...because one person who's willing to put up with a poor standard of living will attract imitators, until everyone is forced to put up with these newfound shoddy standards that eventually become the norm.

In terms of how much credit we gave this movie, "Superman Returns" speaks volumes about who and where we are as a culture. It preaches to us about our longings for the freedom to escape our going-nowhere lives. It computer-generates our desires to solve world problems that seem too big and far away to care about. Most of all, it confirms our suspicions about needing a white male saviour to solve our problems, helpless little pawns that we are.

We live in garbage land, and we tend our fields of refuse as our polluted skies shower down us with acid rain. As always, art imitates life, and is reflected back to us through the magic of Hollywood. The critics have spoken, and they like what they see. Do we?

myspace.com/jonhandelman

I feel dumber for having read that.

[pumba]

No. I did not write that. But he really sums up how i felt about this film.

Although Superman was techincally brilliant, beautiful, bedazzling, (seriously, it's gorgeous) it was a really Irresponsible film. Irresponsible to the point where it teaches us (and mostly kids) to throw away their problems instead of solving them. "Let's just throw this into space...and this...and this too!" And that really does reflect where we are as a culture, and it's wrong to accept it. I mean, i love comics, super heroes...the whole shabang, and i'm not one of those "That's not what it was like in the comics!" type of guy, but i do wish they spent some time making a movie with a valuable message or some credible action, instead of just...throwing shit away.

And i know i'm rambling but fuckin a, we don't even get to see superman kick ass. Oh! But we're treated to superman in a fucking hospital. How the fuck are doctors going to take care of Superman? SUPERMAN!!!!! SUPERMAN...in a hospital bed. Fuck.

Oh and i know you guys are going to flame over all this complaining but holy shit, did anyone else notice the superman S symbol on his belt. What the fuck was that? Did they think we were gonna miss that discrete, tiny logo he has embeded on his chest? That's just silly. what the fuck?

[Alexandro]

I don't know about the "superman teaching us kids to throw away our problems into space" (or something along those lines), but many people did forgive SUPERMAN RETURNS many, MANY, i think way too many common places. I don't understand how something so predictable can be actually considered entertaning, let alone "good" or "exciting". It's overlong, totally forgettable by any standard, a complete fast food movie with not even the pleasure of true flavor.

Lately, a lot of these "products" are being treated so easily by critics and "cinephiles": King Kong, Cars (actually winning awards now), Bond (one of the best of the year???), MI3....I mean what the fuck is going on? Why are standards so low?

[pumba]

I totaly agree.
I remember thinking this when the academy started to nominate shitty movies because most of their viewers hadn't seen the good ones (see: pirates of the caribbean, crash).

[RegularKarate]

I remember thinking this when the academy started to nominate shitty movies because most of their viewers hadn't seen the good ones (see: pirates of the caribbean, crash).

You mean "since the Academy was created"?  That's when that started.

Maybe you're new to liking movies, but this review is like the drunken babble of someone who says the same thing about movies over and over.  Whatever is new that's out that they don't like "is the worst movie ever" and "just goes to show you how bad movies are".

Superman didn't make much money.  Some people liked it, others didn't.  No one is giving Superman credit for changing cinema.

His very first-year college point of "it confirms our suspicions about needing a white male saviour to solve our problems" is a watered down Kevin Smith rant and "superman does not throw a single punch" reveals just how little he really knows about what he claims to.

[Pubrick]

I mean what the fuck is going on? Why are standards so low?

finally we agree on something again:

i haven't seen any other year with standards being lowered so much.

and that "review" shnorff posted is worse than anything JG has ever linked. ok maybe as bad.

[matt35mm]

His very first-year college point of "it confirms our suspicions about needing a white male saviour to solve our problems" is a watered down Kevin Smith rant.

That's an insult to first-year college students everywhere!

[Pubrick]

His very first-year college point of "it confirms our suspicions about needing a white male saviour to solve our problems" is a watered down Kevin Smith rant.

That's an insult to first-year college students everywhere!

i've got it: it's like a kevin smith rant from his first year of college, if it was posted as a link by JG, and reviewed positively by silias and brazoliange.

[pumba]

 

[MacGuffin]

Superman Sequel Scrapped?
Man of Steel may join JLA instead.

Last week's news that Bryan Singer was developing a new thriller with his Usual Suspects screenwriter Chris McQuarrie sparked the speculation that the director's Superman sequel may have stalled.

Now comes a report that claims the sequel may have been scrapped entirely, but that doesn't mean Brandon Routh will be retiring his Super-duds anytime soon.

According to Moviehole.net, Warner Bros. is considering postponing (or outright shelving) a direct sequel to Superman Returns in favor of putting the Man of Steel in their recently announced Justice League of America movie.

The site adds that Batman would not be involved in the Justice League film, leaving that franchise separate from both Superman and JLA.

IGN heard the same rumors over the weekend, but our inquiries to our Superman sources had gone unanswered at time of publish.