Hey guys. I know you are going to be brutal about this and I was a bit nervous having the camera focus on me for such a long time since I am more of a writer than a comic but I needed to get this on camera for prosperity and because I needed it to be out there. If it really sucks I'll give it up because this was a shot in he dark and I'm more of a writer like I said but here it is.
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyGMNuJBE8w
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKcNKEAsdiM
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV1P8WCyJy0
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju-CMaZ--Pc
If you are easily offended by religious or political skewering, don't watch
i watched the first two minutes and it was you just being bitter and ranting. before i continue with this... do you try to be funny or are you aiming more for preachy for the entire 4 clips?
My Drunken Rant is more like it, no? I also just watched the first minute because I'm at work so I'll check it later on and comment. It may get funny later on, we'll see!
but you def. look drunk hahaha
and also you look like Tom Yorke (spelling? the radiohead guy)
Good stuff, man. Have you ever gone in front of an audience? I'd be too scared :o(
shit going in front of people must be scaaaary. Especially in the US, I hear your crowds are cruel.
It still takes guts to post the vids so I'll definitely check them out tonight!!!
open mic nights aren't bad. people can't possibly be cruel to every single person there, so they've learned to only be cruel when acts are really awful (or when they're really drunk). It's mostly a bland crowd there to support their friends.
Quote from: Cinephile on September 11, 2009, 10:18:11 AM
i watched the first two minutes and it was you just being bitter and ranting. before i continue with this... do you try to be funny or are you aiming more for preachy for the entire 4 clips?
I wasn't really aiming for anything. It's just some shit and observations I had written down that I thought was funny. I was told by some people that I should do it because I was just talented enough. Its possible I was going for a little of all three: bitter ranting, funny, and slightly preachy. But only preachy about superficial shit. Again, if I coming off as bitter, good. That's a persona I'd like to try to do when and if I do this live at any open mic's. Like I said, its pretty raw and I am more of a writer not a talker. And no I wasn't really drunk. When you guys see the whole 4 clips, please over-rate me, tell me I'm unfunny like conan, or completely write me off. I'm waiting for all of the heavy criticism.
Also, Pas? Tom Yorke? Really? I always thought I looked like a cross between Keanu Reeves and Jim Carrey.
haha no you don't seem so drunk after a while, my bad. You do look on medication tho (no offense haha! probably nervousness or something)
It's not really uninteresting, but it's definitely never funny. It's probably something that should be in a book (as you say you're more of a writer) and not be told on stage. You are really telling a lot about yourself but when you go see stand up you wanna laugh, not learn to know a character or something. A book is good for that. It's also really negative and a bit depressing, which again is better for a book.
So yeah, a bit diluted into a novel this should make a good character.
You do look like the radiohead singer!
Yeah, pas nailed it. There's no heavy critcism to be given. Just plain and simple: you wanna be preachy and bitter and you did that the whole time. But you think it's funny and we don't. More than likely, others won't either.
Quote from: SiliasRuby on September 11, 2009, 01:56:08 PM
I wasn't really aiming for anything. It's just some shit and observations I had written down that I thought was funny.
Maybe
try aiming for something. A little more focus and direction. I've heard the observations you're making before, and I've heard them expressed better. What you're saying isn't a revelation, but the way you present it could be. You can be as bitter as you want, just find a better way to deliver. Sneak it in, maybe. You probably have the ability to achieve that because you're articulate enough and I imagine you're influences are pretty terrific as well. I imagine, if you think about it and work at it, you'll post a video a couple months from now that will be absolutely spot on and stellar.
It's really cool that you shared this, though. One of the best parts about visiting this board is seeing people posts songs, art, and films they've made. I don't know you, Silias, I've never met you, but after watching this I have a lot more respect for you.
Thanks for sharing.
Quote from: Pas Rap on September 11, 2009, 05:04:37 PM
You do look like the radiohead singer!
You just gave him new material. His next thread will be called
My Sit Down, Stand Up.
I am a masochist. I've always been a masochist so therefore I've been re-reading Pas' and Cinephile's criticism today after work while drinking heavy amounts of vodka and cursing myself. I wasn't really expecting anything different since I grew up being told by my parents and believing I was either a complete shit head with no talent who would never get anywhere in the world or I was great and significantly talented but you would again never make it anywhere in a city like Los Angeles. It was one extreme or the other. There was no middle ground. But on the other hand I showed them by getting a decent albeit worthless job that goes nowhere but pays well and a agent who believes in me. After all I do write 4 hours minimum every day. No matter what.
Sorry, I had a really tough week. I was mugged and beat up monday night after leaving a bar in burbank. Luckily I carry no cash on me and the guy threw my wallet at my chest. He proceeded to beat me and berate me before running off when he noticed some others coming around the corner leaving me in a burbank parking lot. I tweeted what happened to me that night, drove home and no one asked what was wrong. I proceeded home, put in 'newsradio' and had a white russian before trying to go to sleep. I'm not really looking for sympathy. Well, scratch that, maybe I am but I would prefer a high class prostitute. Any fellow Angelinos know of any?
You got mugged in Burbank? shit, somehow that seems even worse. Nothing happens in Burbank. Sorry, dude.
Newsradio and a White Russian sounds like a pretty decent remedy, though.
The Aero is playing the first three Phantasm films tomorrow night. That's a pretty good remedy, too. You should go to that and sneak alcohol into the theater in your belly.
You can drink outrageous amounts of vodka but don't blame it on me! I wasn't even mean or negative!!! It's just not stand up!
Quote from: SiliasRuby on September 11, 2009, 10:26:40 PM
I tweeted what happened to me that night, drove home and no one asked what was wrong. I proceeded home, put in 'newsradio' and had a white russian before trying to go to sleep. I'm not really looking for sympathy. Well, scratch that, maybe I am but I would prefer a high class prostitute. Any fellow Angelinos know of any?
See, now this is funny.
I like the part where you truly don't care. Better than the Allens and Newmans of the world who can't even watch themselves on screen (or, maybe not, who knows). Work that pain into the next one, preferably with the scuffmarks from the scuffle still intact.
And Mac, I lolzed. I kicked myself after, but I lolzed.
Quote from: Pas Rap on September 11, 2009, 11:53:31 PM
You can drink outrageous amounts of vodka but don't blame it on me! I wasn't even mean or negative!!! It's just not stand up!
I won't blame it on you and I didn't mean to. I sincerely apologize
Quote from: SiliasRuby on September 11, 2009, 10:26:40 PM
I am a masochist. I've always been a masochist so therefore I've been re-reading Pas' and Cinephile's criticism today after work while drinking heavy amounts of vodka and cursing myself. I wasn't really expecting anything different since I grew up being told by my parents and believing I was either a complete shit head with no talent who would never get anywhere in the world or I was great and significantly talented but you would again never make it anywhere in a city like Los Angeles. It was one extreme or the other. There was no middle ground. But on the other hand I showed them by getting a decent albeit worthless job that goes nowhere but pays well and a agent who believes in me. After all I do write 4 hours minimum every day. No matter what.
Sorry, I had a really tough week. I was mugged and beat up monday night after leaving a bar in burbank. Luckily I carry no cash on me and the guy threw my wallet at my chest. He proceeded to beat me and berate me before running off when he noticed some others coming around the corner leaving me in a burbank parking lot. I tweeted what happened to me that night, drove home and no one asked what was wrong. I proceeded home, put in 'newsradio' and had a white russian before trying to go to sleep. I'm not really looking for sympathy. Well, scratch that, maybe I am but I would prefer a high class prostitute. Any fellow Angelinos know of any?
this is the kinda stuff that should be in your standup act. Pas was right for the most part except when he said audiences don't care to learn about a character. they absolutely wanna learn about a character. that's how your standup succeeds. they TRUST in your character and they go along for the ride.. and hopefully you can make them laugh along the way.
you're beating yourself up and obviously you need therapy because anyone with common sense knows that standup is not easy. the fact that we're panning shit you practically improvised in your basement shouldn't be a shocker. you should take a standup comedy class and learn the steps to doing it and then practice. then come back and show something that more than likely we'll find pretty decent.
for more, see: Ravi.
You need to go to open mics. Videotaping yourself in your bedroom doesn't help because you need to see how you perform on stage and the audience's reactions. You do your set one way in your bedroom, but maybe you get nervous and go really fast on stage. You don't know anything about your material until an audience hears it.
Quote from: Cinephile on September 12, 2009, 04:08:32 PM
you're beating yourself up and obviously you need therapy because anyone with common sense knows that standup is not easy. the fact that we're panning shit you practically improvised in your basement shouldn't be a shocker. you should take a standup comedy class and learn the steps to doing it and then practice. then come back and show something that more than likely we'll find pretty decent.
I wrote for about six months before going on-stage and even then I stunk for a while. My delivery was bad, my material was bad.
Avoid the rants, unless you've tried to make them funny. Nobody wants to hear someone just complaining.
Classes and books can help. Use the advice without seeming like you've just followed some rule that a comedy book or class taught you. Some local comics I know who have taken classes have been greatly helped, and others are obviously sticking closely to what they've read or been taught. Then there are other comics who are hilarious and never took a class. A class can't teach you to be funny, but it can help with joke structure, performance, mental exercises, etc., and they force you to write. If you have to come up with five new jokes or whatever for the next class, you'll sit down and write for sure. Frankly, most people I know who have taken a class are still not very good after its over, but maybe you'll be one of those who benefits from having taken one.
Take the advice with a grain of salt. I looked through a few comedy books (a few by Judy Carter among them) when I was starting out, and while some of the advice is good, some of it is formulaic and overused. Follow your comedic instincts and don't worry about whether or not you're following a rule.
Every time you perform on-stage, you get immediate feedback, good or bad. Are you going to drink yourself silly after every open mic? Learn your lessons and do better next time. Expect to suck in the beginning.
It takes time to find your voice. I've been doing stand-up for three years, which is practically nothing. I've tried various kinds of jokes and different comedic points-of-view. I have a general style, but its not set in stone. Though I don't do much personal material, some of the stuff I've written recently has been personal or has come from something I've experienced.
If a joke bombs, don't ditch or change it immediately. I test my jokes out on three or four different audiences before I decide whether or not to keep it.
Get off the stage! :splat:
Thanks guys...I appreciate the feedback
I agree that of course having a good ''character'' is essential to stand up, it will create a special connection from the audience to the comic. but what I meant is that first and foremost it has to be funny. Nowadays I find a lot of comics (french ones, don't know about english speaking ones) are more and more into character and being social and less and less about being funny.
the stand up scene is huge in Montreal and people have to go to the École Nationale de l'Humour (National Humour School) if they wanna get any gig in the smallest bar. Having seen a lot of these people perform, I find often the funniest do ZERO rant. they can be critical about stuff be are never ranting. On the contrary, ranters and complainers, even when they make clever and witty observations, are often only listening to themselves talk while everyone is bored.
Quote from: ono on September 11, 2009, 11:58:37 PMAnd Mac, I lolzed. I kicked myself after, but I lolzed.
And there in lies my comedy stylings.
Ravi (who I've seen perform and know to be funny) covered most of what I was going to say... though I'll just say that I think Stand-up classes are almost completely worthless.
Being personal and having an opinion is important, but like it's been said, your rants don't have much focus.
You said you found some of it funny while you were writing it... well, take the funny parts and slow it down. Explore what you think is funny. Is it the way the words sound together? Is it the idea behind it? If that's funny, what other funny things could be brought out of that? SLOW IT DOWN! You're not there to sell your opinions, you're trying to sell your point of view.
Also, a lot of first-timers make the mistake of thinking their favorite comics like Hicks and Carlin (also, if those are your two favorite comics... take a few deep breaths, sit down and listen to something less angry) just rant. No... those "rants" are well delivered lists of jokes.
Get on stage. Accept that you're going to bomb the first time (most of us did) and get that first one or two performances out of the way and forget them (unless you kill, then figure out why you did and accept it won't always be like that) then start to pay real attention.
I didn't watch all of your video (I'm at work), but I watched enough to tell that you've got stuff to get out... it just needs to be packaged better.
so just to clarify
you're retarded or something?
i mean in the technical sense, not the insult, although i guess they kind of blur whenever you're as embarassing and laughable as you are?
(sorry for the bump guys, but i think the gimp hand deserves it!)
(yeah!)
03... you are disgusting. seriously.
I haven't even watched these clips, and i feel terrible. Tweet it out Silias. Tweet it out.
Quote from: 03 on October 06, 2009, 12:36:55 AM
so just to clarify
you're retarded or something?
i mean in the technical sense, not the insult, although i guess they kind of blur whenever you're as embarrassing and laughable as you are?
(sorry for the bump guys, but i think the gimp hand deserves it!)
(yeah!)
Jesus christ. No I'm not retarded and I resent the implication. That's pretty fucked up to say and I hate that word. I have cerebral palsy on my right side of my body and other than that and my supposedly un-funniness and insecurity, I'm as normal as the rest of you eccentric douche bags.
The insults thrown at me by P, 03, and others on here are the main reason why I don't have any faith in others especially faith in other movie geeks. Having been let down by people in real life and have had bad luck most of my life, I expect this kind of shit...so it shouldn't really get me pissed or emotional in any way, but fuck man, what in hell did I ever do to you, except slight annoyances of posts that go no where. Everyone on this board is guilty of that in one way or another so I don't understand why I get the brunt of this shit. Possibly I'm an easy target. Yeah, lets rag on the happy sugar filled weirdo. Real fucking intelligent.
Well, go ahead, don't stop your hate now. Keep it coming.
Regardless of what you think of me on here I'm at peace at who I am as a human being as sad as I get every once in a while. I'm grateful for the friends I have who care for me and actually encourage me to write and work on my writing and my voice over work. I'm on here to do one thing and one thing only now, to talk enthusiastically and intelligently about film, throwing a joke here or there once in a blue moon.
Like I have said before, I'm going to get crucified here no matter what I say on here so I might as well be honest.
Cue: 'Sweet Home Alabama'
Turn it up 03.
Quote from: SiliasRuby on October 06, 2009, 03:01:34 PM
Regardless of what you think of me on here I'm at peace at who I am as a human being as sad as I get every once in a while. I'm grateful for the friends I have who care for me and actually encourage me to write and work on my writing and my voice over work. I'm on here to do one thing and one thing only now, to talk enthusiastically and intelligently about film, throwing a joke here or there once in a blue moon.
:yabbse-thumbup:
Silias, don't throw the rest of us under the bus for this fuckin nut-job's drunken rant. I don't know if you noticed, but he set out to offend as many people as he possibly could last night. He just happened to be the most disgusting in your thread.
Now is not the time to get onto you since this guy was a total shit-bag to you just now, but you do tend to take the negative (big or small) and assume that everyone else around represents that as well. You admit you're insecure, but this is a big source of that insecurity, I'm sure. Look into it. I know you're a good guy in there.
who the hell is 03?
03 is cool. He's always been cool so I don't really get the attacks he went on last night. Oh, well. I'm sure he regrets it and can offer a response and or an apology.
Quote from: Stefen on October 06, 2009, 05:29:37 PM
03 is cool. He's always been cool so I don't really get the attacks he went on last night. Oh, well. I'm sure he regrets it and can offer a response and or an apology.
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Jesus Christ, I recently rewatched these videos and Oh-God. It was horrible. I mean there are one or two bits in there theat might work if they were mined out but yeah, most of that was just not funny. I recently took one comedy class and at the end we got to do a set at the hollywood improv on melrose ave. It went fairly well. Actually better than I thought. Mostly because while I had one or two rants in there I mined and got to the inertia of each moments and find better jokes. I've done one or two open mics since the set at the hollywood improv and I've found what is working and what hasn't. My dad recorded the 8 minute set at the hollywood improv if you guys want to hear that. I've learned to slow down, make more fun of myself, and be a little less angry. I still have a long long way to go. I know that. And rants (as much as I love them) can be a bit grating.
Again, let me know if you want to hear the hollywood improv 7 minute set let me know. Good news is that I booked my first showcase for April 6th at a comedy club in north hollywood.
okay, here's another video... if your interested...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtLEx4SEEw4&context=C30a2b2aADOEgsToPDskKg_QO5DtzmCEGzNlm3S1AT
A Set I did at the hollywood improv: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccOhefVfsxM&context=C49de232ADvjVQa1PpcFPL8XM0WE72YyLCTeH6zu1I1Ws_zt19uUc=
Quote from: SiliasRuby on March 09, 2012, 11:24:58 PM
A Set I did at the hollywood improv: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccOhefVfsxM&context=C49de232ADvjVQa1PpcFPL8XM0WE72YyLCTeH6zu1I1Ws_zt19uUc=
I liked how the emcee rubbed down the mic with a tissue after.
This was a solid set, you should be proud. The bit about rap was a bit unresolved, and I felt you could've ended with a more solid joke (like the joke about getting your mom tested). But there was some really good stuff in here. I loved the casual way you pulled out your notes and said "Okay, moving on..." That came off so subtly self-deprecating in an authentically humorous way.
I used to do standup for a short while... Not long enough to get really good at it, and really find my voice, but long enough to make a lot of great relationships with other comics who always phone me up to run over there set with me and get criticism, and your set easily stands up with all of them, so good job. Some of your freak-outs on stage are golden; figure out a way to run with that without it getting too annoying.
Good luck and don't give up, you've got a talent for this.
EDIT: Also wish that I could still view the original videos at the start of this thread. Seems they must've been mostly awful, and I love me some awfully awkward standup. Glad to see you seem to have improved though.