would this idea work?

[Sanjuro]

do you think this storyline for a very short short is too cliche or unworkable?

a boy  gets a pet fish as a present.  he has lots of toys and no friends so when he receives the pet he gets attached and obsessed with it (he feeds it everyday, talks to it, etc.).  One day he is given a new kickass toy (maybe those hi tech robot toys) and gets obsessed with this and he forgets all about his fish.  Little by little the fish starts to die because he forgets to feed it and take care of it. one day he loses this new toy ( i dont know how yet).  he turns back to his dying fish and cares for it once more but this time he showers it with too much care (he overfeeds it, endleslly talking and tapping the tank of the fish) until it dies.  
fastforward and we see the boy as a grown man now married and he has a child a child and they have a pet fish too.  the end.

im not so sure about the ending yet but its all i could think of right now.
any comments would be great.
thanks

[molly]

reminds me more about people who work 12-14 hours a day, and when they grow very old, just before they die, they wish they have spent more time with their kids and wife.

[Find Your Magali]

How about he learns something from his neglect and then smothering of the fish? (For now, we'll call his childhood fish "Goldy")

Flash forward to him as an adult. He has a wife and kids and a huge, lavish aquarium of tropical fish. He's an expert on the care of fish. ... You could start with a shot of he and his son's smiling faces reflected in the aquarium glass. Then do a long pan to the right, letting the audience marvel in all of the amazing, well-kept fish. Finally, the camera reaches the end of the aquarium and focuses in on a little plaque on the corner of the glass that simply reads "Goldy's Paradise") .... Fade to black.

[Sanjuro]

wow magali i really like that ending!
i was initially going to make it somehting on the love of animals but i couldnt think of anything