Crap commentaries...

Started by SoNowThen, June 27, 2003, 01:21:57 PM

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SoNowThen

June 27, 2003, 01:21:57 PM
So, sorry if this is a repeat, but I know we have a Favorite Commentary thread, so we should have this one as well. Kind of like a warning to not listen. My example is: The Devils Advocate. I used to really like that movie, until I listened to 15 minutes of the garbage commentary by Taylor "The Hack" Hackford. Did this man truly direct the film? All he does is say "there's a CU of Keanu's boots... now there's a medium shot of a girl. She's crying". Fuck, what is this guy bringing to the table? I can't stand junk like this.

So please list the really shit ones, so I don't ever get myself geared up to see them.

Oh, some others I can think of are Altman's for The Player and Nashville. I love the man, but all he does is say the same thing over and over; "that's not scripted, that's all improv, the actors made that up, it's not scripted". Although the Player is saved by some pretty witty comments from the writer.
Those who say that the totalitarian state of the Soviet Union was not "real" Marxism also cannot admit that one simple feature of Marxism makes totalitarianism necessary:  the rejection of civil society. Since civil society is the sphere of private activity, its abolition and replacement by political society means that nothing private remains. That is already the essence of totalitarianism; and the moralistic practice of the trendy Left, which regards everything as political and sometimes reveals its hostility to free speech, does nothing to contradict this implication.

When those who hated capital and consumption (and Jews) in the 20th century murdered some hundred million people, and the poster children for the struggle against international capitalism and America are now fanatical Islamic terrorists, this puts recent enthusiasts in an awkward position. Most of them are too dense and shameless to appreciate it, and far too many are taken in by the moralistic and paternalistic rhetoric of the Left.

MacGuffin

#1
June 27, 2003, 01:38:42 PM
The Matrix
Any commentary by Rob Reiner.
"Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art." - Andy Warhol


Skeleton FilmWorks

Ghostboy

#2
June 27, 2003, 01:44:53 PM
Anything by Tim Burton, although it chagrins me to say it. He'll have something funny or interesting to say now and then...when he actually talks. He spends most of the time just watching the movie, quietly, which isn't quite as interesting for us to listen to.

SoNowThen

#3
June 27, 2003, 01:50:23 PM
Quote from: MacGuffinAny commentary by Rob Reiner.


Even his Spinal Tap Criterion one? At least I think he did one, didn't he?
Those who say that the totalitarian state of the Soviet Union was not "real" Marxism also cannot admit that one simple feature of Marxism makes totalitarianism necessary:  the rejection of civil society. Since civil society is the sphere of private activity, its abolition and replacement by political society means that nothing private remains. That is already the essence of totalitarianism; and the moralistic practice of the trendy Left, which regards everything as political and sometimes reveals its hostility to free speech, does nothing to contradict this implication.

When those who hated capital and consumption (and Jews) in the 20th century murdered some hundred million people, and the poster children for the struggle against international capitalism and America are now fanatical Islamic terrorists, this puts recent enthusiasts in an awkward position. Most of them are too dense and shameless to appreciate it, and far too many are taken in by the moralistic and paternalistic rhetoric of the Left.

ono

#4
June 27, 2003, 02:59:05 PM
I guess the question now is, what, to you, makes a good commentary?

To me, the Fight Club and Boogie Nights commentaries were brilliant, because they gave you some insight into the film, and its process.  Haven't seen the Sydney one yet, but I've heard good things as well.

I don't think I've come across any bad commentaries myself, because I'm generally on my first time through with most good movies, and I only listen to the commentaries on the ones I really liked.

SoNowThen

#5
June 27, 2003, 03:04:15 PM
Commentaries where there is no new info being given = shit

Like in my example, how Hack just described EXACTLY what you are seeing. If we needed that, we'd watch the movie.

I generally like on-set stories, subtextual explanantions, technical info, and just general "I came up with this scene because..." type personal stuff.
Those who say that the totalitarian state of the Soviet Union was not "real" Marxism also cannot admit that one simple feature of Marxism makes totalitarianism necessary:  the rejection of civil society. Since civil society is the sphere of private activity, its abolition and replacement by political society means that nothing private remains. That is already the essence of totalitarianism; and the moralistic practice of the trendy Left, which regards everything as political and sometimes reveals its hostility to free speech, does nothing to contradict this implication.

When those who hated capital and consumption (and Jews) in the 20th century murdered some hundred million people, and the poster children for the struggle against international capitalism and America are now fanatical Islamic terrorists, this puts recent enthusiasts in an awkward position. Most of them are too dense and shameless to appreciate it, and far too many are taken in by the moralistic and paternalistic rhetoric of the Left.

cowboykurtis

#6
June 27, 2003, 03:07:24 PM
Quote from: GhostboyAnything by Tim Burton, although it chagrins me to say it. He'll have something funny or interesting to say now and then...when he actually talks. He spends most of the time just watching the movie, quietly, which isn't quite as interesting for us to listen to.

agreed. edward scissorhands' commentary is brutal.
...your excuses are your own...

dufresne

#7
June 27, 2003, 03:31:46 PM
i was disappointed w/ the Coen Bros commentary track in TMWWT.

and i listened to 5 minutes of George Lucas on the Ep. 1 dvd before i turned it off.
There are shadows in life, baby.

AlguienEstolamiPantalones

#8
June 27, 2003, 03:33:58 PM
im a commentary junkie so i hate when the directer sounds bored

but also american beauty was not so great because sam mendez kept stepping on alan ball's words

life_boy

#9
June 27, 2003, 05:00:02 PM
I didn't like the commentaries for Donnie Darko, Best in Show, and  The Man Who Wasn't There.  And while My Big Fat Greek Wedding was not a great movie to begin with, it also didn't benefit from it's commentary track.

Ravi

#10
June 27, 2003, 08:55:35 PM
Quote from: OnomatopoeiaI guess the question now is, what, to you, makes a good commentary?

To me, the Fight Club and Boogie Nights commentaries were brilliant, because they gave you some insight into the film, and its process.  Haven't seen the Sydney one yet, but I've heard good things as well.

Sydney has TWO commentaries <drool>

This was a while ago, but I remember that Jackie Chan's commentary on Gorgeous was mediocre.

I've read that the Arnie commentaries are terrible.

polkablues

#11
June 27, 2003, 09:58:22 PM
Hands down the worst commentary I've ever heard is John Carpenter's on "In the Mouth of Madness".  He spends the whole time as though he was interviewing his D.P. for a trade magazine.  "That's an interesting shot.  What kind of lights did you use for that?"  I, on the other hand, spent the whole time thinking, "Carpenter, were you even present for the making of this movie, or what?"  Truly awful commentary; bad in the way that movies like "Highlander 2" and the "Rollerball" remake are bad.  I mean bad.
My house, my rules, my coffee

picolas

#12
June 27, 2003, 11:12:31 PM
Quote from: MacGuffinThe Matrix

in the Don Davis commentary, he seems to be intensely disinterested with what he's saying, like he's slowly strangling himself with his own boredom.

filmcritic

#13
June 28, 2003, 12:07:40 AM
I think the worst commentary I've probably ever heard was with Carrot Top for "The Rules of Attraction". I have no idea why Roger Avery would ever allow Top to make comments on his movie. It's not funny, insightful, interesting or informative in the slightest. It's just plain awful. A film like this deserves much more respect than what that DVD commentary track gave it.
"You're too kind."
-Richard Roeper

"You're too cruel."
-Roger Ebert

Cecil

#14
June 28, 2003, 12:19:39 AM
i found some parts of the carrot top commentary pretty funny: "oh, shes out. thats my cue. you cant say no now, ha ha!"
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