Anyone know any good movie jokes?

Started by Marty McSuperfly, April 18, 2003, 06:03:53 AM

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Marty McSuperfly

I don't mean jokes IN movies, but jokes about movies and the film business.

For example (don't read on if you don't laugh at REALLY crap jokes):

Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project - an action docudrama
about famous composers starring top movie stars.

Sylvester Stallone, Steven Seagal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to
play him."

"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano," said Willis. "I'll play him."

"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Seagal. "I'd
like to play him."

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid."

Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be,
Arnold?"

So Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."

BTW I'm looking for better jokes than that....

bonanzataz

hear about the new pirate movie? it's rated ARRGGH!!!
The corpses all hang headless and limp bodies with no surprises and the blood drains down like devil's rain we'll bathe tonight I want your skulls I need your skulls I want your skulls I need your skulls Demon I am and face I peel to see your skin turned inside out, 'cause gotta have you on my wall gotta have you on my wall, 'cause I want your skulls I need your skulls I want your skulls I need your skulls collect the heads of little girls and put 'em on my wall hack the heads off little girls and put 'em on my wall I want your skulls I need your skulls I want your skulls I need your skulls

cowboykurtis

why did the movie cross the road?

punchline will be given at a later date...
...your excuses are your own...

MrBurgerKing

Quote from: bonanzatazhear about the new pirate movie? it's rated ARRGGH!!!

Is that the pirate movie starring Johnny Depp? Actually, it's PG-13. They wouldn't put over $100 million dollars into an R rated picture (don't mention The Matrix).

Speaking of Johnny Depp, what a fantastic actor. You know you're special when Marlon Brando wants to star in your directorial debut.

Did you hear the one about Marlon Brando? He auditioned for a role in Ang Lee's Eat Man Drink Woman, but left when he found out the title was a metaphor.

Pubrick

why is punchdrunklove?

to get to the other side.
under the paving stones.

CollinBullock

Cowboykurtis has such a delightful fucking image...
Reality is extraordinary.  Unfourtanetly, the best parts don't make good movies - Terry Gilliam

Ernie

Quote from: CollinBullockCowboykurtis has such a delightful fucking image...

Is that the fucking goat image everbody was talking about!!!??? I promised myself I would never ever ever see that.

CollinBullock

Reality is extraordinary.  Unfourtanetly, the best parts don't make good movies - Terry Gilliam

phil marlowe

Quote from: CollinBullockhttp://www.goatse.cx/giver.html
nah, his big aint that big really. hes just a tiny tiny man.

-dazza-

Quote from: CollinBullockhttp://www.goatse.cx/giver.html

Try to sleep after seeing this...

He'll have someone's eye out....
"Go home, Yank. 'Tis my field." - The late, great, Richard Harris.

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