HELP! I need a better story and a good title.

[bonanzataz]

So, there's this project I'm working on. Kind of an excuse for me to get some work done. There were just a few ideas floating around in my head that I wanted to put together and make a movie. I'm good at creating characters, but I'm horrible at creating a decent storyline, which is what I feel this movie needs. Anyway...

I felt like making a sweet romance movie. So we've got Toula, and she comes from a crazy Greek family!

No, just kidding. It is a romance movie with comedy set in high school, but not a high school romantic comedy. Joking aside, the main character is Burt. He is a fun, normal guy. His best friend is David, who is very tempermental and starts fights with people all the time, despite the fact that he's very skinny and always gets his ass kicked. David gets his ass kicked by Aaron one day. Aaron is a big belligerent guy that gets pissed off at people easily and is in Burt's math class. Teena is Aaron's little sister, same age as David and Burt, really out there, really into coke and Motown music. Aaron wants the house to himself one night when his parents are away so he can fuck his girlfriend (a skinny, fiery vixen), and he needs Teena out of the house. So, he enlists Burt to take her out on a date, otherwise he'll kick David's ass. Burt goes out on a date with Teena, and, big surprise, they hit it off and start spending a lot of time together. Aaron and Burt start becoming friends, much to the dismay of David who, needless to say, is quite jealous. David decides to get back at Burt by doing fucked up shit to him (honestly, I don't know what yet). In the end, everybody makes up and they all live happily ever after.

Yes, I'm aware, it is somewhat lame. I just really need something to do because it's been a while since I made something. There won't be this much drama, I'm going to go for laughs. What I need is suggestions on how to make this maybe more concise, more realistic, less like some teen soap opera. I also need a title. Thanks for any comments, questions, suggestions. Word...

[Xixax]

Two initial thoughts.

1: There's plenty of screwed up pranks that you can pull on people that most folks have never thought of. Just do a little google searching and I'm sure that you could not only find some pranks to write into the script, but also find a good way to intertwine them with the characters and their personalities.

2: I don't think there needs to be a bow-tie resolution at the end of it. Having been in some friendships like that in the past (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) I can attest to the fact that even after people are friends again, it's never exactly the same. Or if it is, it takes a long, long time for it to get back to that point. So I wouldn't necessarily end it on a "they lived happily ever after" note. Leave some tension in there. A little bitterness and some pain. Because that's real life.

[Raikus]

Possible title:

Yup, Another Teen Movie

[ReelHotGames]

My first suggestion is to take all your character descriptions with the two or three word "tag" description and flesh otu the why's... Why is Aaron a big belligerent guy who fights, why is David the skinny guy who gets beat up all the time trying to pick fights, these answers are more important to the characters than the fights, the bully syndroms, the skinny vixon qualities, the fact they need to get laid...

If you're going for another American Pie-like film, first why bother, but if you must bother and you're going to go for sperm in the beer gags, then character descriptions can be two or three keywords, but if you aspire to do something more then I say, don't worry about a story, your "plot" is fine, go for how the characters react to the situation they are in. Why would a skinney guy with no chance pick fights he knows he'll lose, THAT'S INTERESTING! Coke and motown - WHY - THAT'S INTERESTING! Not the "story", let that be what it is, high school guys going through angst and wanting to get laid, that IS high school, girls ponying for social status, worrying about college, whatever...  so the little things, the backstabbing, the gossip, the fights, the parties, all these things are not as important as how the characters react to each situation.

And people are irrational, we say one thing, mean another, don't say what we mean at all, say something, then backtrack and say something else, we act out of character ALL THE TIME - we are not neat, we do not have clever remarks at the tip of our tongues at every moment, we stammer, we lie, we hate ourselves, we're concieted, characters that are real make any story more interesting than the "plot" device itself.

Perfect example is look at SYDNEY by Paul Thomas Anderson, the story is small, it's secondary to the characters moving through life. That's what holds us.

[bonanzataz]

Possible title:

Yup, Another Teen Movie

Fuck yall haterz, i'm making this next week. But I need a more appropriate title. as of now the working title is "Cindy Spreads For the Camera," but something tells me that won't fly with my school who i plan to screen it for...

the movie is different from what's described. idea of the pranks is scrapped, but there's a few new characters. i can't wait to shoot this!