Bigperm made a short film lets watch it and comment

[bigperm]

yo what up bigperm! you made a short? is this short online? cool anyway!

P - Here's a youtube link -

[72teeth]

Great Job Man!! You've got a great sense of story balence and a good eye, and this was a perfect watch for me today, so thank you very much dood! Definitley looking forward for more! 

[bigperm]

Great Job Man!! You've got a great sense of story balence and a good eye, and this was a perfect watch for me today, so thank you very much dood! Definitley looking forward for more! 

Thx for the kind words, I appreciate it. Sorry this thread has derailed, see The Artist!

[squints]

yeah, i didn't want to derail the thread either, but you should post a link to that in the art gallery. I'd like to talk about it, really enjoyed it!

[Pubrick]

hey man thanks for the link, good job.

not as enthusiastic as everyone else only because i don't think the story is strong enough to warrant ten minutes. it kind of went nowhere until he met that chick and then her interaction with him was just too inexplicable. i get that voice over is a good way to avoid having to make actors act, and you used it well, but it did nothing to explain her sudden attraction to him and random understanding of this dudes tunnel fear.

the attachment to the mother is a workable skeleton for a story and the tunnel a conveniently metaphorical image to work with but it probably needed just a bit more fleshing out or maybe more interesting visuals to go with/against/parallel to the voice over. like the chick could have been introduced earlier, maybe a work colleague, etc. no extended dialogue scene required just a visual cue during the dreary work/running shots.

also that soundtrack sounded familiar.. was it all original or stolen? not a criticism just curious.

[squints]

also that soundtrack sounded familiar.. was it all original or stolen? not a criticism just curious.

Pretty sure under the video it says "Love You All" by Cloud Cult was used with permission, but Gymnopedie No. 1 by Satie pops up a lot, and I'm not positive but I imagine its public domain.

[Jeremy Blackman]

Gymnopedie No. 1 by Satie pops up a lot, and I'm not positive but I imagine its public domain.

But not the performance/recording of it.

[bigperm]

Thx all for the comments etc.

P- appreciate the thoughts, I had no real expectations of this, just basically had the urge and did it. All valid and welcomed thoughts, I am not a fan of VO for the most part but it felt right for this. The main Actor Jason Newman who's a good friend was the main inspiration and just came up with it and went for it. We were on a retreat of sorts and I watched him on an early morning run and had the idea. Always looking to improve and I agree with a lot. Yes the classical music has been used by others in other films, some of it anyway but again, I honestly didn't expect to do much with this, just kinda sculpted it to what felt good and then got encouraged to enter it into a festival. Craig Minowa of Cloud Cult is an awesome person and he was more than kind in giving permission for his song, the rest I just went with and of course just filled in the gaps out of soundtrack pro.

There was a lot on the cutting room floor for this, and an encounter with an earlier female might have helped with the other girl, basically a nurse AT&T he hospital with Mom where Roman fails reaching out to, but I screwed most of that up, coverage was off, and the writing just didn't work, my fault again. So in the end this is pretty expected I guess, and I like how it shaped up, slow and all. It was a lot of fun to make.



Thanks again for the feedback, appreciate it.