Xixax Film Forum

Non-Film Discussion => Xix & Xax => Topic started by: Pas on June 27, 2004, 10:06:45 PM

Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Pas on June 27, 2004, 10:06:45 PM
I've been rather quiet lately haven't I ? I discovered that my level of internet activity is inversely proportional to my level of happiness. You may welcome me back.

What does it mean when you go to bed (to litteraly sleep) with the girl of your dreams (nothing less), falling asleep while she reads out loud her diary, your head in her hair ? It means love to me... to her it means calling her ex-boyfriend the next night.

Am I not the most hopeless Intellectual Whore. Now I am in a fight with this girl, I haven't talked to her for two days... I know she's too proud to ever come back to me... should I apologize and settle for 'friends with benefits' or let her go, that is my dillema.

'Is it for her or myself that I cry'
I'm a loser - the Beatles
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: kotte on June 28, 2004, 01:04:15 AM
Do what hurts the most. It's usually the right way to go.

You can't degrade yourself to 'friend' when you've been that in love. At least I couldn't...after 2 days.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: UncleJoey on June 28, 2004, 02:06:55 AM
Quote from: kotteDo what hurts the most. It's usually the right way to go.

You can't degrade yourself to 'friend' when you've been that in love. At least I couldn't...after 2 days.

Agreed.

Because my opinion is obviously really important. . .
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: classical gas on June 28, 2004, 03:09:59 AM
Ask Thrindle.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Thrindle on June 28, 2004, 02:08:34 PM
Quote from: classical gasAsk Thrindle.

I was actually going to comment... even before I saw this.  :oops:

I think we need a little more information here.  I mean, reading a diary to someone is a really personal thing.  I've read pieces of my diary twice.  Two people.  Best friend, boyfriend.  It stops there.  So take what you can get from that.  Obviously she's got a lot of trust in you.

But here's where the hard part comes.  Why was she phoning her ex?  For real.  Was it a "get back together call", or one of those "I need to know that there is nothing between us becasue I'm scared I'm falling for somebody else" calls.  See you really have no idea why she called him.

All you do know is the negative story you've got in your head about it.  Sure your pride is hurt, but are you sure that your anger is really justified?  My advice is to explore what it is you are saying to yourself (she's using me, or she still likes him, or she just wants my dick) and go from there.  In the meantime, just try being honest with yourself and her.

Cheers.  
(And I'm not trying to sound condescending at all!!!!!!!!  I am just an advice giver... it's what I do)
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Pas on June 28, 2004, 02:45:32 PM
Yesterday I logged on at about 2am and she was online. I figured it was a nice opportunity to 'talk' to her without it being too weird, since it was night and we were obviously extremely bored.

I told her I felt like I was only 'one amongst many others' for her, which made her mad as hell. Then I told her some other stuff like that I could never go out with her because she'd certainly kill me by the way she acts with other guys. That made her cry. She says she doesn't understand herself, why she needs all this male attention. She tells me sometimes I'm really different from other guys and then I'll become really lame when I listen to my friends' advice.

From what I figure, what she wants from me is to love her and do everything for her (as I do) without her loving me back in return. Well, loving me as a friend of course.

Now, I decided that I value our relationship too much to let go of her just because she doesn't share my feelings. I'm hoping somehow this might change. I'm a fool, I know, but logic will break your heart.

Thanks Thrindle !!!
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: kotte on June 28, 2004, 03:33:03 PM
Quote from: Thrindleor one of those "I need to know that there is nothing between us becasue I'm scared I'm falling for somebody else" calls.

This phone call actually exist??


Quote from: Pas RapportNow, I decided that I value our relationship too much to let go of her just because she doesn't share my feelings. I'm hoping somehow this might change. I'm a fool, I know, but logic will break your heart.

I'm like this too...hurts like hell. :(

Are girls and boys that different?
Are our views on relationship and love different or is it all just a problem in communcation?
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Thrindle on June 28, 2004, 03:59:31 PM
Quote from: kotte
Quote from: Thrindleor one of those "I need to know that there is nothing between us becasue I'm scared I'm falling for somebody else" calls.

This phone call actually exist??

Actually yeah it does.  It's sort of a tying up of loose ends.  I've always found it's really hard to admit that you are no longer in love with your ex.  I've always wondered if that means that they were irrelevent.  And although I know it's not true, it's hard to let go of the past.  

Quote from: Pas RapportThen I told her some other stuff like that I could never go out with her because she'd certainly kill me by the way she acts with other guys. That made her cry. She says she doesn't understand herself, why she needs all this male attention.
And as for her needing a lot of male attention...  at least she admits it.  It's an insecurity thing.  I know so many girls who are like that.  Just because she is who she is, does not mean that it's a reflection on you.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: kotte on June 28, 2004, 04:08:42 PM
Quote from: Thrindle
Quote from: kotte
Quote from: Thrindleor one of those "I need to know that there is nothing between us becasue I'm scared I'm falling for somebody else" calls.

This phone call actually exist??

Actually yeah it does.  It's sort of a tying up of loose ends.  I've always found it's really hard to admit that you are no longer in love with your ex.  I've always wondered if that means that they were irrelevent.  And although I know it's not true, it's hard to let go of the past.

I'm the opposite. The past I can let go of. Time is all it takes...in my opinion.
Admitting you're in love with someone is harder for me. Saying to yourself "It's official. I'm in love with this girl." is dangerous. You are without an emotional defens. It opens a gate right to your own heart and makes it very easy for that person to hurt you.

Is this girl your Girlfriend??

Your post never says...even though it's obvious she is.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Pas on June 28, 2004, 05:37:09 PM
Oh, well in fact, she isn't. Actually, I admitted my love for her 2 weeks after we met, like 6 months ago. We stayed really good friends all this while.

Thrindle, I find your posts really insightful ... it's good.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: NEON MERCURY on June 28, 2004, 09:54:01 PM
as soon as i read your first post in this thread and got to the end where you ask.........."friends w/ benefits or...____".............i    definatley suggest friends w/ benefits  route.........its the easiest way and when the big come down happens you wont be that emotionally scarred ...........friends w/ benifits is like having sex with a prostitute w/o having to lay down any money...... :wink:

go go go...........
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Thrindle on June 28, 2004, 09:57:44 PM
Quote from: NEON MERCURYi    definatley suggest friends w/ benefits  route.........its the easiest way and when the big come down happens you wont be that emotionally scarred ...........friends w/ benifits is like having sex with a prostitute w/o having to lay down any money...... :wink:

go go go...........

Friends with benefits is bullshit.  Someone always falls for the other person, and then that person is just fucking them to begin with, so the person who's in love is heartbroken, while the other person just walks away.  Friends with benefits is just a game.  It means that someone is not accountable to you.  Not accountable to your feelings, or to who you are.  They can do as they wish (as can you) but even if what they do is hurtful, you have no right to have any feeling toward it.  That's bullshit.  It's like a get-out-of-jail-free card.  It's the fucking Communism of relationships.  It's sounds good in theory... but when it's tested... people somehow become... wow... human.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: The Perineum Falcon on June 28, 2004, 10:02:12 PM
Quote from: NEON MERCURYas soon as i read your first post in this thread and got to the end where you ask.........."friends w/ benefits or...____".............i    definatley suggest friends w/ benefits  route.........its the easiest way and when the big come down happens you wont be that emotionally scarred ...........friends w/ benifits is like having sex with a prostitute w/o having to lay down any money...... :wink:

go go go...........
I don't think it always goes so well, at least, not in my experience.

"Don't you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not!"

EDIT: I like Thrindle's post better than mine... :(
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: NEON MERCURY on June 28, 2004, 10:51:14 PM
Quote from: Thrindle
Quote from: NEON MERCURYi    definatley suggest friends w/ benefits  route.........its the easiest way and when the big come down happens you wont be that emotionally scarred ...........friends w/ benifits is like having sex with a prostitute w/o having to lay down any money...... :wink:

go go go...........

Friends with benefits is bullshit.  Someone always falls for the other person, and then that person is just fucking them to begin with, so the person who's in love is heartbroken, while the other person just walks away.

au contraire....

if one follows NEONs guide  to forming friends w/ benefits ..you  will be okay....

*Note: this guide applys to both male and female "friends"

1.]you must only be attracted to your "friend" when you are drunk..

why?..................b/c when things start to get serious [which we dont want] you will be more able to tell  your "friend" later b/c he/she will be ugly to you once you  sober up enough to realize the gotesque thing forming an emotional attachment w/ you.........always keep your beer goggles on.......

2.]never let your "friend" be your first
....by fiorst i mean-your first phuck......for most people when they phuck their first the emotional attachment iks usually high........we do not want this.......this leads to bad things and goes againts friends w/ benefits...........so make sure this isnt your first phuck........

3.]pay close attention to certian words or phrases like...
"i want to talk to you about something" , "do you really like me?", "i want you to meet my parents", "where do you see us in  the next couple of months"............
trust me........you got to look out for words and  nonsense talk like that........when the convosations gets emotional or "something more" you got to sober up [since most likely you will be drunl] and listen for sh*t like this........you  got to keep a sharp ear.........

4.]ALWAYS JUGGLE WHO PAYS WHAT/WHEN/ and WHERE
...its all about a balancing act...........dont pay for very much sh*t............but dont let your "friend" pay for much sh*t either...........keep it a mutual payment plan

5.]* for males only:
after a few months of reeping the benefits from your "friend" and you start to notice a bulge in the stomach.......[like pregnamcy in the early stages]............GET THE PHUCK OUT OF THERE ...................NOW!!!

6.]*for the females only:
after a few months of reeping the benefits from your "friend" and you hear these words come out of his mouth:"honey, i think you are the type of woman i could settle down with"............................GET THE PHUCK OUT OF THEIR NOW................................!!!!

7.]trump card.........
when the sh*t hits the fan and your up against the wall .........tell your "friend" that you "just found out your gay"..............problem solved...............

*remeber:
-drink alot
-be safe and use protection
-have fun
-...................and most of all remember that friends w/ behnenfits is all bout "you"..........and therefore think "what will be advantageuos for me?"


follow this guide and everythings peachy............
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: ElPandaRoyal on June 29, 2004, 05:37:40 AM
That guide may be a complete load of fucking nonsense, but it's hilarious as hell.  :lol:
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ on June 29, 2004, 11:54:07 AM
EDIT: Ok nevermind, I was going to post, but then I saw your problem was solved by Thrindle so yeah...

Bitches, man...bitches...
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Pas on June 29, 2004, 05:06:49 PM
Hahaha great post Neon !!!
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Pas on July 05, 2004, 10:29:07 AM
Update : I nailed her last night. I'm quite happy today.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: kotte on July 05, 2004, 10:33:41 AM
sweet... :yabbse-thumbup:
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Thrindle on July 05, 2004, 11:15:09 AM
Quote from: Pas RapportUpdate : I nailed her last night. I'm quite happy today.

I want to be happy for you.  In fact I am...  but couldn't you use a better word than nailed...  It makes your intense love for her seem somewhat tawdry.  Blah.   :?

By the way, Thrindle is a bit of a feminist this morning... and she was just slightly offended by the comment.  Probably because she's been nailed a few times herself... and always suspected that guys lose respect once they've nailed her.  Moral of the story is that obviously she need to go see a counsellor and work this one out.  Blah to that.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Stefen on July 05, 2004, 01:05:41 PM
He's not some 30 year old, hes a young man, and young men nail women.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: kotte on July 05, 2004, 01:12:41 PM
Quote from: StefenHe's not some 30 year old, hes a young man, and young men nail women.

haha...



we do... :oops:
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Thrindle on July 05, 2004, 01:52:44 PM
:roll:   Ok, so I'm just jealous.  I've never gone this long without a good nailing, and Pas beat me to it!  That's just not right!
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Pas on July 05, 2004, 04:07:21 PM
I guess I said I nailed her because I kinda made love to her to spite my best friend.

Long story made short, I found out they have been sleeping with each other. Yeah that sucked. Instead of being mad, I chose to use the 'sensible guy' attitude... I was like : 'I'm not mad, it's not your body I'm after blah blah' ...

maybe she slept with me out of pity, I don't know... we'll soon find out. I'll keep you posted haha
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Chest Rockwell on July 05, 2004, 11:24:44 PM
No offense but this chick sounds like a slut.




On a sidenote, I noticed your whole posting rate-inversely proportional-to-happiness thing, and I think you're on to something. I've been happy all summer with my girlfriend and I've posted, like, 20 times. And things couldnt be better, even though summer's on a frickin' downward slope now.


By the way I was kidding about the slut thing. I understand your pains, though my feelings aren't tainted with sex. My previous girlfriend sounds like your relationship (I know that doesn't make sense), where I was desperately in "love" and that led to a BIG crash when she friggin' dumped me. This one I'm with now is making me happier than I think I've ever felt within a relationship. It's all about how you two interact.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Stefen on July 05, 2004, 11:43:12 PM
Use her for whats shes worth Pas, I mean everything, get all the sex you can from her, borrow money, borrow stuff, just use her, and then at the end when she is catching onto you only let her give you head, then when she asks why you only let her suck you off but don't fuck her tell her "I don't know, I mean, you've been around and I just don't feel safe fucking you"
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Pas on July 06, 2004, 10:11:14 AM
I feel kinda ashamed of my last posts now ... last night she called me up at about midnight to invite me to come over 'for a chat'. I'm not gonna miss that. So I get there, half an hour later we're 'canoodling' quite intensely. We go to bed, more canoodle, I lift up her shirt and she goes, in a borderline crying voice : 'Well that's it, I'm a slut...I hate myself'

The she went on telling me how bad she felt about my friend and that stuff, and I was really heartbroken. The fact that I incredibly love this girl came back to me. I told her the truth, that if I were to choose between our friendship and her body the choice wouldn't be long to make. I went on and on about me not minding the fact that the love I have for her is not 'shared' ... I was pretty good I think...

So she put her arms around me and I played with her delicious smelling hair all night long. I'm now at work, totally sleep deprived, yet not regretting a single minute of my sleepless night.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Thrindle on July 06, 2004, 11:14:08 AM
Quote from: Pas RapportI feel kinda ashamed of my last posts now...

Wow, that's quite the admission.  I actually feel almost teary.  I feel sorry for the girl that you're with... only because she seems to remind me of how I once was.  No offense Pas, but it sounds like she's got some stuff of her own to deal with...
It's too bad that girls get labelled for having sex.  Seriously, what guy wouldn't have sex with more than one person in a short time span?!  But I'm not gonna get into the stereotype bullshit.  Honestly Pas, she sounds insecure.  Really insecure... and she's just trying to deal with shit the best she can.  I'm really happy for you about last night.  Genuinely happy.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: ElPandaRoyal on July 06, 2004, 11:39:28 AM
Reading how much you guys have been canoodling lately only reminds me of how much self-canoodlement I've been doing recently. Seriously... I'd love to find a girl I could canoodle and then regret that.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Stefen on July 06, 2004, 12:31:01 PM
Quote from: ThrindleIt's too bad that girls get labelled for having sex.

Not all girls do, there is two different types as far as im concerned. One is the type who has sex because they like to have sex, and they will have sex with lots of guys and will never apologize for it, the way it should be. Then there is the second type who will have sex with lots of guys not because they like sex, but because they are insecure and want the guy to like them. Now the first type is the best, they are usually the ones who grow up and get married and live a perfect lifestyle, cause they are independant and don't lie to themselves. The second type are awful vile creatures. they have either been sexually abused, or are dramatic queens to the nth degree and will abuse that priveledge at all costs. Pas, it sounds like you have the second type judging by the "Well, I guess I'm a slut" comment. It sounds like she does it for attention and when she doesnt get the attention by having sex she feels she will get the attention by crying and trying to make whoever she is with feel sorry for her. Those are the worst kinds Pas, be strong brutha.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: grand theft sparrow on July 06, 2004, 12:47:29 PM
Quote from: ElPandaRoyalReading how much you guys have been canoodling lately only reminds me of how much self-canoodlement I've been doing recently. Seriously... I'd love to find a girl I could canoodle and then regret that.

If the canoodling is done properly, there is no need for regret.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: The Perineum Falcon on July 06, 2004, 04:40:26 PM
I used to regret canoodling myself so much... :cry:
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Pas on July 07, 2004, 04:14:00 PM
Last night I was with my friend (the one she slept with) and we met her, she couldn't look at us in the eye.

She said to me later on the phone that she feels like since she's unable to love, she's gonna give all that she can which is her body. I find this really weird and it makes me nervous... no time to elaborate, I might post later on.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: kotte on July 07, 2004, 04:23:34 PM
She sounds like a cliché.

I don't think there's anything wrong with her. She wants attention.

She'll grow up eventually.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Pas on July 07, 2004, 05:13:15 PM
Maybe the fact that she is a twin and her sister is the 'dominant' twin has some kind of link to all of that...

I noticed that for all their lives, her sister had much attention from boys while she had some, but less. As I look at pictures of her in her child and teenage time, I see she became really good looking only by 16 ... and she once told me : 'You knew me in a really weird time of my life, I never had so many guys after me, it's weird to be wanted like this'

Maybe she longed for male attention all the time her sister had it and know she doesn't know how to deal with that... just a theory... I'd have to talk to her about it though
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Chest Rockwell on July 07, 2004, 05:25:56 PM
Ok, I'm starting to think this is all make-believe now.
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Thrindle on July 07, 2004, 05:27:19 PM
I think Kotte had the right idea... and Pas is on the right track.
Title: Re: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Born Under Punches on July 07, 2004, 05:44:18 PM
Quote from: Pas RapportAm I not the most hopeless Intellectual Whore.

Intellectual whore.  

Are you a proponent of the ladder theory, sir?
Title: Entering a new phase of depression/xixax-overposting
Post by: Pas on July 08, 2004, 11:34:43 AM
Indeed am !